Wednesday, December 31, 2008

At the threshold of wisdom - the 600th Post

Funny that - my 600th post on New Year's Eve. A milestone for a milestone.

I learned a great deal this year. I gave up on my novel and learned to use the disappointment as a motivation. I produced a movie and learned that doing God's will doesn't always have to be boring. I edited a movie and learned that I still have a lot to learn about movie making ;) I watched an entire election unfold and learned that the American people can get sidetracked from time to time but still know what's ultimately important. But these are all things that are peripheral to my experience of this year - lessons learned, not lessons earned.

The most important thing that I discovered this year is that intimacy is not sex and that true happiness comes from the sharing of life together with others. Throughout my entire journey this year, the highest moments have all come from times spent with other people whether traveling together or sitting on a shoreline fishing or taking pictures or making a film or working. Moments spent alone (though necessary for reflection) were moments when I could not grow. It was in those quiet moments spent with others talking about their lives or their families or their thoughts that I made true connections with others - that I mattered.

I seek next year to continue this quest for wisdom by seeking out others and learning to share with them the moments that make up a life - moments of laughter and moments of anger and moments of sorrow and moments of joy. We are all the children of God and just like our biological siblings, we can't chose not to be related. Its only through shared moments that we will ever learn to reach that point of common understanding where your burdens become my burdens and your blessings become my blessings. I seek to bridge those gaps and truly understand.

Monday, December 29, 2008

No Reason For Confidence

"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
Hebrews Chapter 11 verse 1

As I was duly reminded this morning, I am one step away from financial disaster. My job is on shaky ground and I really don't have any sort of back up plan. I don't have thousands of dollars in a bank account. I have never been successful enough to even consider any sort of "life" insurance. I have no equity of any sort in any thing. If the worst case scenario should strike, I would be left with nothing but my wits.

And yet, I have a great hope for 2009 that I can't explain. At a time when I should be at my most pessimistic, I can't help but being optimistic.

I can watch the news and be scared. I can read the headlines and tremble. I can hear stories all around me of people being laid off and losing their homes and savings and I can feel the palpable fear that surrounds me - but I am not afraid.

I have faith that even if all these things come to pass and I spend a good portion of 2009 homeless or jobless or running from creditors and bankrupt that God will use me to the best of my ability. I have the great hope that for the first time in my life I Shall Fear No Evil For Thou Art With Me!

Oh, my life may take a Job-esque turn for the horrible next year, but if it does, I know that God will be with me. I can't explain this feeling to those that do not have it. But if I had to define it, I know that the definition would be Faith. Not faith that I shall remain untouched and safe and prosper, but faith that even in the darkest hours of my life, I shall know the love and glory of Jesus Christ. Its kind of hard to be pessimistic after that.

So Thank God and prepare for disaster. 2009 is going to be one bumpy year!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Looking Ahead to 2009

The funny thing about the end of this year has been how much 2009 has begun to gel in reality and not just in my mind. Usually I get to this point of the year and I start making plans for next year and... well, that's all they are - plans. I can plan anything I want and whether it comes true or not has always been as a result of luck and sure determination. But this year, my determination is getting to relax a little. I don't have to make things happen by sheer force of will and I guess that's put me in a good and hopeful mood for the new year.

So, for starters, I'm not going to take classes next semester. I've decided to give college a rest for at least a semester (though my opinion might still change before classes begin). I've learned all the stuff I set out to learn two years ago. Anything more, at this point, would be gravy.

I will continue with the stat keeping for USF as it appears that my Dad and Uncle will probably call it a career after this season. They've been keeping stats at USF since the late 60's/early 70's. I've been helping out for about the last four years. But they're both ready to retire from this job and let the torch pass to a new group of stats people.

I will most likely return to Idaho for some fishing during Spring Break. We'll see how my finances hold up. This is the one time of year I get to spend with my "other" family and my other town.

In January, I'll be traveling to Slidell, Mississippi as part of the Presbyterian efforts to rebuild that region after Hurricane Katrina nearly three years ago. I'll be there a week showing my love for Jesus and my complete lack of carpentry skills ;) Prayers are always willingly accepted.

Sometime early next year there will also be a Movie Premiere of 12 Step Jedi. This film is currently finishing up the sound work and the composing and recording of the sound track. We are hoping to have two premieres - one for the cast and crew (so we can get all the nasty comments and ribbing out of the way;) and one for everyone else and friends and family. I will let you all know when the premieres will be scheduled.

After the premiere, work will begin in earnest on "Dane" - our follow up film. Andrew and I have been huddled together now for hours since finals ended feverishly throwing out ideas for this film and the truly wonderful part is that we have been on the same page in almost every single detail. The short description of this film is that it is Hamlet meets Film Noir - which describes more the feel and the look of the film than the actual plot. Either way, we begin script work the moment 12 Step wraps.

We are also trying to form a film collective to aid us in the pre-production and production of Dane. Combining actors, directors, producers, filmmakers, and other artists, we will have a group of people interested in the mutual development of film and other projects. So far we have had preliminary discussions amongst potential participants and the general consensus is positive, but there's still a lot of work to do before a collective is formed.

I have other ideas, of the normal year end variety, but I'm thinking that I already have a lot on my plate for next year. Some of these other ideas might see the light of day in 2009, and some not, but I'm definitely not going to be sitting around next year. And, for a change, I don't have to do all the work. And that's an extremely good thing.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Friday, December 19, 2008

A quick recap...

For those of you who want the short version of my last ten days and next ten...

1) I finished up my final two classes in cinema - Advanced Cinematography and Advanced Sound. This required the complete creation of sound for three scenes from my movie and a final exam in Adv. Cine. Needless to say, I'm a little mentally exhausted right now.

2) I am well into the sound edit of my film. This is the third to last step. Second to last being the mixing of sound and music. And final step being actual distribution (i.e. DVD's, etc...) Short answer - not going to happen before Christmas.

3) I'm negotiating the creation of a film/acting cooperative with my co-producer and a group of students at San Francisco State. This will hopefully play a huge roll in the coming year.

4) Christmas continues to enthrall me with lots and lots of activities; concerts, services, and, of course, shopping. Always a busy time of year, made doubly so with my school and work schedules.

5) Work continues to kick my a$$ thanks to the Consumer Product Safety Commission, but I'm finally getting a handle on it... just in time for the economy to completely tank. *sigh*

6) All those signs and portents that my unusually "normal" life would soon be rocked by waves of change seem to be leading to a fundamental change in my current lifestyle in the very near future. (I.E. God has plans for me and the veil is just about to be pulled). I'm ready to embrace whatever He sends my way.

That's it. I'll try to get back to this blog next week for those of you still around to read it and maybe expand on some of these topics then. Until then, or if I don't catch you sooner, have a nice Christmas!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

I'm just saying...

I had a thought. Occasionally, I do.

This Christmas season, instead of asking yourself, "What should I get for the person who has everything?" ask instead, "What should I get for the person who has nothing?" Tougher question to answer.

Reverse your thinking.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Reason For The Existence of Cable TV Found!

Not a huge fan of cable TV. In fact, basically, its four hundred channels of the same kind of crap that I can get for free, so why would I pay more for it? Except, of course, that with the new Digital TV stuff, its becoming increasingly unlikely that I'll be able to keep getting crap TV for free. So I finally bit the bullet and got cable.

In a nutshell... BORING! FORTY TIMES MORE BORING THAN USUAL!

UNTIL...

I watched the greatest show ever seen on TV on Saturday - Extreme Trains. The show's host is a conductor on a Maine RR who loves trains. But he's not just a geek with a hard on for powerful locomotives, this guy likes everything about trains from the tracks to the canto-levered lines to the bridges that span train lines. I've learned more about my college town (Pocatello) from this show in five minutes than I learned the entire time I lived there (two years) and all because a train passes through there. In the episode I just watched last night, I got to see a crane rip apart a refrigerator car, the engineer training school and the train simulator they use to train their engineers, and a refrigerator car loaded with produce get one of its wheels replaced while still on the track (very cool). This show is not only cool for adults, but also for kids. Had this show been around when I was a kid, I'd be a train engineer right now.

Anyway, I have my new favorite TV show and a reason to DVR again. I highly recommend this show which managed to be both educational and entertaining at the same time. Will Bob says check it out.

P.S. Its on the History Channel, in case you were wondering.

Monday, December 01, 2008

The Further Adventures of Jeremiah the Prophet

The Further Adventures of Jeremiah the Prophet

Chapter One
1 And so it came to pass that the great Jeremiah the Prophet who had spoken of God's displeasure to an evil and corrupt Judah escaped the destruction of Jerusalem by the Babylonians and fled with his remnant people towards any country that might spare him. 2 And thus did he pass out of all knowledge of the great books.

The Coming of the Great Scribe
3 Thus it was that the great scribe, Wilsephus found the Prophet in a refugee camp near the land of Midian as was foretold by the stars. 4 He presented himself to Jeremiah with the words his master had told him to say, "Oh wise and wonderful man of God, I come to you seeking employment. For it is written that you are semi-retired and yet, the people still come to you seeking words of wisdom or just to hear your latest forecast of doom and gloom. I grovel at your feet to learn the ways of being truly dark." 5 And the great Prophet looked at Wilsephus and sayeth...


"What the heck is that?"

"I'm sorry, Master, did my scribing offend?"

"That's not even close to the true story."

"That's true, oh great Prophet, but I assumed that when your new adventures are published some day they will rival your original book's popularity and be included with other great religious works. Therefore I was merely formatting the actual story of our fortuitous meeting in the style of the religious texts of today."

"Formatting? You were blatantly lying. Besides, I've already told you, Wilsephus, that there was nothing special about me. God simply chose me to say the things that needed saying and I did. That's hardly a skill set that you can profit by. In fact, if anything, saying the things that need saying tends to be rather detrimental to your future career. Did you know that I spent time in the dungeons?"

"Were you tortured?"

"Why do you have that gleam in your eye, Wilsephus?"

"Torture sells better."

"Yours is a sick and twisted world."

"People like to hear about suffering, oh wise master - especially the suffering of others, especially the unjust suffering of others, especially the unjust suffering of others yet to be. Why do you think you've been popular so many years?"

"You say I was popular?"

"Many people read your words, oh great one."

"Yet, they did not heed my warnings!"

"Well... nobody actually believed you. There were many priests that said your warnings were not scientifically based and the king hired many scribes to say you were full of hogwash."

"What I spoke was the truth, young one."

"No doubt. And in hindsight, I think they can all agree that your words were somewhat accurate."

"Somewhat?"

"For the most part."

"My words were from God and they were the truth."

"And you suffered for that truth?"

"Yes, Wilsephus. I suffered a great deal. Telling the truth can be inconvenient from time to time."

"Tell me about the suffering, Jeremiah... were the beatings bloody and gory? Did they use any torture devices?"

"Enough with the suffering, Wilsephus. If you wish to remain my scribe, you will tell only the truth from now on. Is that understood?"

"Truth... as I see it?"

"The Truth as it is known."

"Very well, oh wise one. I will tell the truth."

"Very good, you can start by telling everyone how we truly met."

"Yes, master."

The Further Adventures of Jeremiah the Prophet
(revised)

Chapter One
When last we saw Jeremiah the Prophet, he had just escaped the Babylonian captivity and was headed for lands unknown with a group of refugees. After wandering through the desert for many days, he came upon a camp for refugees set up by the Egyptian army. While several of the younger men were immediately pressed into service, Jeremiah was spared the harder labor and was given the job of writing correspondence to the head of the army in Memphis. As such, he was assigned the assistance of a certain Greek slave by the name of Wilsephus (the wise and wonderfu... WILSEPHUS! I'M WARNING YOU!... who was just a slave) that happened to know how to write the complex Egyptian hierogylphics...


Next time in The Further Adventures of Jeremiah the Prophet, Jeremiah and Wilsephus do battle with the priests of Kon-Sumer and their false religion.

It's A Wrap!

In addition to basketball (four games in three days) over this long Thanksgiving weekend, I somehow managed to wrap filming on 12 Step Jedi. The last scene, our only outdoor scene, was filmed Saturday morning at a breakneck speed that belied the "film it or drop it" nature of the shot. But, in the end, by Saturday noon when the scene was dropped in as the final piece of the final edit, it was quite a hilarious scene. I think it was also fitting that the final shoot included just myself and Andrew - the two people who started the project almost a year before.

And then, over the course of the remaining forty eight hours of my weekend, I struggled to figure out a way to defeat the intricate stupidities involved with computer software so that I could get the film off of my computer and into a format that people could actually view. As of midnight last night, I finally had a DVD copy of the film.

But don't rush out to the stores just yet. A)We're not selling it in stores. And B)The final edited version is not final, nor edited. I was merely creating a copy so that Chris Evans (a talented actor, as well as other things) could compose a soundtrack for the film. While Chris is working diligently on the soundtrack over the next couple of weeks, I will be tweaking the color correction and editing all of the sound so that it doesn't sound like some of it was filmed underwater, behind a wall of gravel, with actors using the accents of warbling gargling geese ;)

Which is all to say that the film actually is still on schedule for a mid-December finish, but I can say that principal photography, at least, is done!

Yay!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

On A Quantum of Dark Knights

Happy Day Before The Big Gobble!

I recently saw Quantum of Solace and liked it. During the summer I saw The Dark Knight, and liked it as well. But it occurred to me, after Quantum of Solace, that the movies had a lot in common and yet were worlds apart. In the Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne continues his quest for absolution and redemption by taking it to the bad guys. And he's so successful at it that the entire city of Gotham is turned upside down and it gives rise to a battle with the Joker who might be the very epitome of evil itself and his allies. In Quantum, James Bond continues his quest for absolution and redemption by finding those responsible for the death of his first love (in Casino Royale). And he's so successful at it that he threatens to turn the entire shadow world upside down unless he is stopped, giving rise to his battle not only with a very realistic corporate type villain, but also those that have allied themselves with him. James Bond and Bruce Wayne being two sides of the same coin, and yet, I'd watch Quantum again, but I won't watch The Dark Knight again. Quantum still manages to remember that at the end of the day the hero belongs in the light, or else he shall become a shadow and a dark soul like those he fights. So far, the Dark Knight doesn't seem to want to come back into the light. Bruce Wayne likes the dark. And as a result, while Dark Knight was the better film, Quantum was far more enjoyable to watch.

Speaking of enjoyable to watch and Thanksgiving... if you're unlike me, you probably have time on your hands to sit around and watch movies this long weekend. So I thought I'd recommend a few enjoyable movies that, if you haven't seen, you should watch. Feel free to add to my list in the comments below.

For the holidays, I usually like to watch The Sound of Music again. A classic movie that is eternally upbeat and just so darn wonderful to sing along with. You can't beat this movie.

If you're looking for an action movie, I like The Great Escape. Again, its been around for a long time, but it never fails to wow an audience.

Some more recent movies that I've seen that I totally recommend, "Dan in Real Life," surprised the heck out of me for how good it turned out. I thoroughly enjoyed this film and its quite entertaining.

Some movies currently playing that you ought to check out, "Bolt" from a more-or-less true Disney/Pixar hybrid, Quantum of Solace - James Bond still learning to be James Bond, and, if you can still find it at a discount house, "Wall-E" -its worth it just for the closing credits, but the movie itself is quite fantastic.

Anyway, enjoy the holiday. I shall be finishing up my movie this weekend and working the basketball games at the Odwalla Classic (Women's tourney at USF), so I'll be back again on Monday with The Further Adventures of Jeremiah the Prophet.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

On Character Assassinations and the sin of football...

Rejoice fellow citizens of the world for Thanksgiving is almost upon us and there is much to be thankful for.

To start with, tonight is the annual showing of the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special. The only thing I can really think of with regards to this particular special is the scene where Charlie Brown thinks he's going to finally kick that football, only to have Lucy yank it away at the last second. How much is that like real life? What are the footballs in your life that you're always trying to kick? For me, lately, its been my diet. Just when I think that ball is finally in my sights... yank, AUUUUGGGGHHHHHH! Thud! I go boom. Put in that context, human failure is actually humorous, especially in light of the fact that WE ALWAYS THINK WE'RE GOING TO KICK IT and we always end up flat on our backs. So keep that in mind these holidays when you can look around at a nation flat on its back because we all thought for sure that that football was going to stay in one place this time and we were finally going to kick it.

Tonight I'm also putting some of the final touches on my summer film. I'll be adding the credits which somehow can't possibly convey my depth of gratitude to all who participated in this project. My one hope is that all who participated had a good time doing so. Beyond that, I just hope they enjoy the final film.

But as for me, I'll be spending a lot of time (scene 4,6,7,9,12,14,17,25,and 28) getting popcorn during the premiere. Its not because those particular scenes aren't good - in most cases, they're fantastic - its more because I'll be on screen during those scenes. I'm not one of those actors who doesn't like to see himself act. On the contrary, my ego is very healthy. Its more the fact that my character is, at best, a pompous a$$, and at worst, dull as dog poop. Sometime between the concept and the creation, Harry turned out to be one of the worst character's I've ever had the displeasure of being associated with. Now, I'm not the greatest actor, but Lionel Barrymore would have turned down this roll.

So, it was with some pleasure that I realized that there were a few story problems during the final edit that could only be fixed by filming some additional material. I, naturally, assigned this new material to Harry so that I could have a chance to redeem his character and make him somewhat palatable on the screen. I wrote the scene, showed it to the director, took notes on how to best do the performance, and then filmed it. I had great anticipation of seeing the final product because I had really done my best to make the scene sell as a funny scene. Oh... it was funny all right.

Apparently, I somehow managed to transform Harry from a stick in the mud boring Jedi into a cross between Denethor (from LOTR, played excellently by John Noble) and Liberace. For a scene that I wrote and performed, I was shocked at the way it finally came out. I almost didn't recognize my own performance as the in the closet Pink Jedi. And I seriously contemplated reshooting the entire scene until I realized that it made me laugh - oh how it made me laugh. Unintentionally I had made Harry's scene the silliest thing in the entire movie. Sure, it doesn't match any other Harry scene in the film, but it was so over the top that it kind of balances him out (like Gollum's two-face scene kind of balances out all the scenes where he's just obnoxious). So Liberace Harry survives in the final film and I have, once and for all, completely assassinated this character never to be resurrected again.

Yes, there are many things to be thankful for. So keep up the good spirits, fight the winter and holiday blues, and come back again tomorrow when I compare and contrast Bond and Batman (who's going to die this week - or so I heard).

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Glorious and the Absurd

Sometimes I feel a little like a sponge - soaking up the mood of the world and then regurgitating it to everyone else. This can make you great at a party, but a bit much at a wake. Lately, we've been much more in the dark than the light and, as such, my blog's been about as much fun as a hangnail. I'm aware of it, but I've been merely writing what's been overwhelmingly on my mind at the time. I'd like to change that now. I'd like to spend some time in the sunlight. So, for the rest of the year, I shall be concentrating entirely on the glorious and the absurd.

On Friday, I was witness to an act of athletic terrorism. The Academy of Art Urban Knights, in their first preliminary season, tried to enter the gates of Basketball Valhalla on the hilltop of the University of San Francisco. The USF Dons set the dogs on them. It wasn't pretty. The Urban Knights ran around the court like they were being chased by their own tails. I think even the coaches were just hoping a mercy rule could be implemented. I've never seen a team destroy an opponent by 51 points and know that it should have been much worse. Still, the hot dog was good and the half time entertainment was a scrimmage by the kids of a youth center in Marin City - a notoriously lower class neighborhood across the bridge from San Francisco. It was good to see kids just having a good time (and thinking that maybe, just maybe, it would have been more merciful to have the Urban Knights play the kids from Marin City ;)

On Saturday, I was able to sleep in. Do you remember the days of old when we all used to be able to sleep until past noon on a Saturday? Yeah... those were good times. After that, I visited with friends and then headed over to my sister's to help celebrate my nephew's fifth birthday. There are some skills my sister and her husband have not quite perfected yet, but parenting isn't one of them. Her kids are delightful and I always enjoy spending time there (especially if Carl makes me a cup of coffee - his coffee skills are at the opposite spectrum of his acting abilities and that is indeed something to rejoice about ;) I'm trying to figure out a good time to take them to see Bolt - the newest Disney movie.

On Sunday, during the Children's sermon, our wonderful head of Christian Education - J.D. - was trying to teach the young children the importance of feeding the hungry. After explaining to them about the economics of the world (fully half of the people on the planet make less than $2 a day - which apparently is just enough to get a good toy at the dollar store ;) he then asked the kids for some advice. He said he had some money in his wallet and he needed their help to decide what he should give to the local food bank. So he pulled out a one and a five and a twenty and ended with a hundred dollar bill. Then, one by one, he asked the kids which bill he should send to the food bank. Each one answered the hundred dollar bill. But when he got to the last kid, he asked, "Why do you think I should give them the hundred dollar bill?" And the kid looked at him and replied, "Because my daddy has one just like it in his wallet." Needless to say, that brought the house down. God does indeed work in mysterious ways.

I'd like to pass on some prayer requests here as I receive them. A.J. from over at Bittersweet Life is asking for prayers for his family and for his upstart church project in downtown Kansas City. I really think this is a cool idea and I'm fairly certain that God does so as well. Still, a quick prayer for his endeavor and for his family can't hurt and might just lend them a feeling of strength and support. Also, prayers of thanksgiving for my good friend Nick Kibre and his wife Susan who are celebrating the birth of their second child and first son, Nathan Rhys Kibre. Congratulations you two (and a little extra prayer to their daughter, Winnie, who now has a little brother to protect).

That was fun. And I feel much better than evil sponge Will, so I'll probably continue in this vein until the end of the year.

Check back tomorrow when I lay out the gory details of my very first, and maybe not last, character assassination (and long overdue if I might say so). Yes, that's right, movie news - tomorrow!

Friday, November 21, 2008

NFSC - Not For Safe Christians

Blackness. I'm Lord knows where. Not thinking. Don't even know if I'm breathing. Doesn't matter. I'm in the sweet embrace of the unknowable, the unseeing, the unbeing. Shattered, by the sound of a large gray metal trashcan crashing down the aisle. I shoot up in bed, bewildered, shocked, and in that moment before I know where I am, images come flooding into my brain.

I am nearly forty - how the hell did I get to be nearly forty?! My life has not turned out at all like I expected it. But the disappointment is hidden behind a genial smile and a punishing schedule of new activities and goals. I am still at church (well, there's something good at least), but I seem to be seeking something, some answer. I'm not even sure I know what it is.

Back to the course wool blanket and the hard bunk, back to the uniform blue sailors storming through the barracks yelling, "Get up! Get dressed! Get out of beds!" My eyes go wide in shock. How the hell did I get here?

She is before me, her curves melting into my thin straight line. My young mind explodes with heretofore impossible thoughts. There is a nagging thought somewhere in the back of my mind, a wisp of a bad dream remembered from youth group, something about temptation and desire and... oh hell, she looks good and her skin is so warm and smooth. My brain shuts down.

I want to scream, but I can only manage to blink back the sleep deprivation hard. I spin in my top bunk, my face already feeling as tough as the stiff, cold clothes that I slip on the second my feet land on the frigid tile floor of the barracks. I watch as a complete stranger is roused out of his bunk by two uniforms who prod him with yelling and cursing. Chaos swirls around me, but I'm stuck in slow-motion, as my brain tries to make sense of it all.

How did I get to be like this? Forty years of broken dreams lie behind me like the remains of an archaeological dig. I sift through the wreckage to find the clue. While everyone else is prospering, I don't seem to be going forward. Its like my life is in neutral. I go back through recent classes, back through family issues, back through one job, back through another state... I see friends with kids, friends getting married, and I keep going back, back through a crappy job, back through college, back into the Navy. I see nothing, nothing at all to point me on to this path.

We are rushed out of the barracks. Pushed, prodded, the cold black air assaults us like nothing else. Nut to butt, we are thrust together like puzzle pieces from the opposite end of the box. Cold, shivering from more than the physical sensations, we are told things - words that wash over us. My watch calls to me and I look at the time through tired eyes - 3:30am. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

She reclines under my weight. Long past the point of no return, I pause, briefly, and I hear this screaming admonition - STOPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!! - but I ignore it and plunge ahead. It feels so good. This must be love.

We stumble through the cold morning to stand under harsh street lamps in a big square. I expect to see German Shephards dragging guards around the perimeter, straining to be set free on defenseless fresh meat, but there is only the cold to keep us at bay. More blue clones arrive and depart, and we stand there - first to arrive, last to leave into the nice warm confines of a chow hall. Food is on our plate and we sit, only to be told that we're done. We snatch something off our plate, shove it into our mouths, and lunge to our feet. Poked and prodded again. Why am I here? Why am I doing this?

Back through my tour in Hawaii (Hawaii... cool!) Back through my school in Virginia. Back to boot camp... I see me standing there, outside the chow hall, looking dazed, confused, and completely miserable. I pause... but realize that this is not it. This does not explain me at 40. I keep going back.

I catch a fleeting glimpse of me at 40 and I know it must be a trick of my sleep deprived mind. We are marching again, if you can call it that. Marching to who knows where. We don't ask. We just move. Move forward without knowing what we're doing or why. We obey. As we enter another room and watch our hair fall to the ground, and another room and watch as we're thrown into matching blue uniforms, each room peeling back a layer of who we are and who we wish to be - I feel like I'm losing myself to this place and I can hear the screams of outrage coming from my pampered inner self. Don't let me go down into that good night! Don't let me die! But I'm too cold and numb to try and save me. I succumb. I give in. I don't fight it. I become something else.

She is beauty and love and warmth and I embrace her. Her face looks to me like heaven. Her lips feel like promises of things to come; good promises, factory warranties and blue ribbons. I brush those lips with my own and I can't help but thinking that I would do anything for those lips, and that because of that resolve, I will be able to conquer the world and be its master. It is a good feeling.

We are no longer people with names. We are part of something greater. Individuals with a combined purpose. We struggle daily to accomplish simple tasks and work together. But there are occasional flare ups of individuality and we work hard to stamp them out. We temper those feelings with hard labor and work to strain them from the whole. Because we have an important mission to perform and we can't have any one going off in their own direction when it might have an effect on the lives of everyone else.

Back to my life before the Navy, back to High School, back... slowing now... back to her. Stop. Back to that moment... yes, that moment. That first moment. I see it now from the vantage of forty years. I see us lying there and we think we know it all and we think that we will conquer the world. But what I see is someone who ought to know better, who thinks that the rules don't apply to him, who is so desperate for love and understanding that he is going to delude himself into thinking that he can find it in her. She looks young and indifferent, clearly not in the same place as him, clearly not seeing him as the end all and be all of life. She has become his idol. She has become his icon of hope and glory. And I just know that this is it, that this is the moment where he rebelled against God.

The moment where the sun shines upon you and suddenly you are basking in its glow. Part of something bigger than you now. You have been broken down, destroyed, left in despair, and bewildered, so that you can then be put back together again in a new mold. Now, I belong to something bigger. Now I am just a small part of a large whole. I take orders and hopefully I follow them. But I understand and appreciate the consequences of failure now. I know the difference between life and death... and I've decided, finally, to choose life.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Total gibberish

I'm so totally exhausted right now. I've been basically firing on all cylinders for the last five days, with at least two days more to go. This on top of the previous four weeks of nuclear scheduling and academic Armageddon. Besides dealing with the cluster**** created by the new government safety regulations, I've been fighting through the opening weeks of basketball season, upcoming preparations for church holiday season, completion of all my final film projects, finishing the edit on my film, and my own financial meltdowns. But this morning I woke up woozy and I haven't stopped feeling woozy all day long. I think my synapses have all decided to take the day off and are sipping margaritas on a sunny beach somewhere without me. Its hard to take serious things seriously when you feel like you're rolling end over end in the tumble dryer of life. Drum roll... and WIPE OUT!

Its probably just fatigue mixed with hay fever or something, but stress induced pre-cardiac arrest sounds more in keeping with the rest of the economy right now.

(Its really hard to spew depressing rotgut in my blog when I'm too busy smiling - one of the curious side effects of wooziness. I seem to be happy in my misery).

Anyway, ignore me until I feel myself again... which should be sometime after January 20th.

Friday, November 14, 2008

When the credit crisis hits home

On Sunday, my Mom had two of her credit cards credit amounts slashed to $500. On Monday, my Step-Mom had a credit card lose about $1400 of credit. On Wednesday, my Dad had a credit card drop to just $100 credit. And yesterday, it was my turn - one credit card lost $1100 credit.

The Great Depression hit America a full six months after the market collapse. There have been many reasons credited for the start of the Depression, but the main factors included a tightening of money, a loss of jobs, and extremely low consumer confidence. I'm not making any predictions, but when we're daily hearing about companies slashing thousands of jobs, and extremely low consumer spending trends, do we really want to add fuel to the fire by also cutting off people's access to what funds they do have?

I should point out that all four people mentioned here have EXCELLENT credit. So, if we're being targeted already, how much longer until the rest of the country finds its credit gone?

These idiots were the ones who got us into this mess. Are we really going to expect them to make wise business decisions now?

Its time to start fixing up a nice cozy cardboard box for a house and to find a nice, defensive place in the park to live in. The Greater Depression is coming. Its as unavoidable as stupid people on the highway.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Beach Nut

I'm either a little early or a little late, but I always remember the birthday of a certain blog celebrity falls right around Veteran's Day, and so I'd like to wish him a happy birthday.

When I met my friend, he lived a little bit less than a mile from the beach (maybe 500 yards as the crow flies?). We were fellow youth at Lakeside Presbyterian Church. We grew up together in boys choir, then youth fellowship, then bell choir, and youth group. Basically just our entire formative years together. I can relate hundreds and thousands of adventures we shared, laughs we made, and a few tears we shed. I was a co-best man at his wedding and met his children when they were both very newly born. Through it all, through all the good times (2002 World Series) and bad times (1985 Giants season), we've remained best friends.

So I'd just like to wish my fellow beach person, Andrew Lie, a happy 30-somethingth Birthday (actual age shall not be disclosed for reasons of the fifth amendment!) and hope that he has many, many, many more adventures in his lifetime.

Just no more sailing in Lake Powell in a leaky boat... okay?

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Greatest Songs of the 80's

I usually ignore "Greatest of" lists because I tend to find them to be very self-selective. The basis for the rankings on these lists tend to be as subjective as, "Well, this is what I like." But half the people voting will have no idea what they're in fact voting for. I lived through the 80's and, quite frankly, I'd have a hard time coming up with a personal list of the greatest songs from that decade, but if I did, I guarantee you that it would look remarkably different than a list of songs generated by someone half my age. So, it was with some reservations that I flipped on this special on VH1 the other day to watch.

I happened to catch the top 13 songs (out of 100) and I couldn't disagree with any of the songs being on the list - but in the top 13? Maybe only a couple of them belonged there. Tops. And there were some definite omissions (presumably they ranked lower in the top 100).

I remember watching lists like this from earlier time periods and invariably the greatest song of the 1980's would ALWAYS be Thriller. This time it was Living on a Prayer from Bon Jovi. It got me to thinking about the nature of these kinds of polls and how we are influenced by current events into how we think about the past.

Clearly Jon Bon Jovi is still a very vibrant and sexy singer to most of his fans. Does this play into the fact that Living on a Prayer is now the #1 song versus Thriller - from a guy who has most recently been linked with alleged child molestation? Surely that was a factor in most people's decision to vote. One interesting fact given on the VH1 show was about the Journey song, "Don't Stop Believing" that was in the Top 5. They noted that the song set a record for Amazon downloads after it aired as part of the soundtrack for Laguna Beach. Did that have an effect on it being in the top 5?

Now, I don't want to sound bitter. As I said above, I doubt I could come up with a list myself and quite frankly, I don't care where songs rank on a hypothetical list. I know what I like and to heck with the rest of you. But I was wondering why we constantly feel the need to come up with these lists?

Culture seems so intent on justifying itself and we seem intent on justifying our beliefs in our culture that these lists keep appearing for everything. Its not enough to read a book and like it; we seem obsessed with making sure that others like it as well - as if our opinion on matters isn't important if it doesn't have the backing of millions of anonymous people as well.

But we humans have been at this justification game for a long time, asking questions to certify that we are on the right path with the right opinions and the right decisions. Even Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment.

He answered that the greatest commandment is to love God with all your heart, mind and soul. And the second was like the first, to love your neighbor as yourself. That in these commandments was the law and the prophets - meaning everything that God had been trying to tell them for years.

Here is God's answer to our need for Greatest lists - its simple, "Love God and love everyone else." God's answer to the greatest songs of the 80's - He loves all the musicians equally. God's answer to the greatest novels of the 20th century - He loves all the writers equally. God's answer to the greatest philosophers of all time - He loves them all equally. Every single one of us is precious in God's sight and every time we love God or love one another, God approves. Everything else is either a variation on that, or its not. God doesn't need 100 top commandments, He only has two.

Friday, November 07, 2008

Experiment Gone Awry

I have a shocking confession to make.

Back in 1991, when I was in the intelligence field, I became part of a secret government experiment called Operation - 1M. After scouring the African continent for years, the United States of America had finally amassed one million primates for a dubious project.

Secretly smuggled into a hallowed out volcanic crater in Hawaii, these monkeys were fed, housed, and ultimately trained. Strapped into chairs, in eight hour shifts, and placed in front of keyboards, the monkeys tapped away - all day and all night. The government thought that we could finally prove the theory, one way or another, that an infinite number of monkeys pecking away at a typewriter will eventually write the great American novel.

But the folly doesn't end there.

Some politicians discovered the project and derailed its original intent by getting the government employed monkeys to start writing political dialog for them. However, this plan was quickly scrapped when it was realized that the monkey's spelled potato with an "e". So, instead, the monkeys were set loose to write, once again, anything that they felt like writing.

At first, random nonsense escaped from their typewriter keyboards, but eventually, through neuro-motorized autanomic feedback responses and other technological mumbo-jumbo, their nonsense became less randomized. The experiment was finally released onto the unsuspecting public when the monkeys started posting randomly to newsgroups in the mid-1990's via the internet. When no one suspected this, new avenues for expression were sought - first with homemade websites, then with social networking sites like myspace and facebook, and finally with comment driven interactive media available everywhere.

Most people assume when they read comments on the web these days that there are some pretty ignorant people out there typing this stuff, but the truth is, all of these comments are written by a bunch of randomly writing monkeys in a lab in Hawaii. The government experiment has clearly gone too far and its time to return to normal civil discourse again.

So, if you'll all please join the outcry and tell everyone you know to Stop Monkeying Around On The Internet so that we can get back to our normal peaceful conversations, I would appreciate it.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Towards a better world

Regardless of what both candidates might want us to believe, change begins with us. To that end, I've been reading a lot lately about a movement out of the Catholic Church (USA) towards a Sanctity of Life. The idea is a profound one - that before we can simply embrace an end to abortion, we must adhere to an idea that ALL LIFE is sacred - not just the life in the womb. I think this idea has resonated with me because although I've been labeled pro-choice my entire life, I've really been pro-sanctity of life my entire life.

The way I see it is that we'd be hypocritical indeed to just ban abortion without also addressing the very real problems of what happens to all humans after they're born. While I recognize that all life is sacred, I certainly don't feel comfortable forcing others to conform to my beliefs. But I would feel differently if I felt that society wasn't just claiming that life was sacred, while doing everything in its power to show that it was otherwise. It seems that if you're going to claim that life is sacred, then you can't advocate the taking of life whenever it suits your other needs or fears. You can't be pro-life and pro-death penalty, for instance. Or pro-life and pro-war. Those things, in my opinion, don't mix. However, to balance that, I'm wondering whether such a sanctity of life movement can really work or if I'm just being naive. Is it possible to live in a world where all life really is sacred? And, if so, what sort of world might that be?

I'm not convinced that Jesus wanted us to create an equitable society where everyone had equal opportunities to succeed and such, but I do think that Jesus was interested in creating a just society where goodness and mercy thrived and evil and condemnation did not. Amongst the very basics, to create such a world, I think we'd need to address the issues of adoption and foster care for all unwanted children. They need to be able to grow up - if not equally - then certainly safely. I've heard so many horror stories about orphanages and foster homes that I wouldn't condemn the worst child on the planet into such a state as a punishment, much less an entire generation of unborn children. Education is, naturally, a priority - though I'm not sure we need to provide a college level education to every child. Health care for all is a good idea (even if its just the basics of a place to go when you're sick and dying) and not necessarily a separate issue. And, of course, there's the real question of capitol punishment. These are all aspects of the Right to Life debate, but I'm not sure they all have solutions.

What I'd like to do is invite anyone and everyone who would like to leave a civil comment to address what they would do to make this a better world if they could just snap their fingers and make things happen. It seems to me if we could at least agree upon what sort of world we want, then the matter of figuring out how to get there should be much easier to address.

Monday, November 03, 2008

Some valleys are deeper than others

You might say its because I'm getting closer to 40, or it might be an attack from the Enemy, or it might even be some sort of depression, but I think its just exhaustion. No matter what the cause, lately I've been feeling bluer than normal. Its hard to remain optimistic when you slog into yet another hard period of your life and know that there will be little to show for it on the other side. It makes you start questioning things that ought not be questioned.

I know that God loves me, but there are times when I just feel like paraphrasing Dr. Evil and saying, "Could you throw me a frickin' bone here, Jesus?" I look around at other more settled lives and I think, why not me? What did I do differently? Where's my happiness? Am I just meant to be lonely and tired and sad my whole life?

See, it's clearly a case of the blues.

Happiness, like sadness, is usually just a matter of perspective. If I were a Katrina refugee or a hunted tribesman in Congo or Somalia or something, my problems wouldn't amount to a hill of beans. Others might chastise me for worrying about being lonely when I have a ton of friends and family that care for me. And still others, more poignantly and pointedly might just say, "You don't look like your starving... for attention or otherwise."

In the famous poem, "Footprints," the author wants to make it clear that there are hills and valleys in every life and I'm not sure that comparing one life to another, for good reasons or bad, is very helpful. No matter how well off I am or how bad off, I still have feelings of joy and sadness, hope and despair, like everyone else. It is in those bad times that faith in Jesus carries us... even if we question whether He has our best interest at heart.

So, somehow I'll muddle through until the sun comes out, and then I'll be right as rain again. I'm not sure when that'll be since I don't see an end in sight until the middle of December for all this hard work. But I can guarantee that by early to mid-January, I'll be getting back to myself by doing something that I know will make me feel better.

Until then...

I work all day...
And edit all night...
don't make no money...
but that's all right...
Ain't got no one...
to spend it on anyway...

I've been so down...
but I don't gotta pay...
Cause da Blues is free
for one and for all
Whether you want'em
They come to call

Da Blues Is free...

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The True Barack Obama

And now it can finally be revealed... we've been hearing rumors for months, Barack is the anti-christ, or a muslim terrorist, or a communist infiltrator bent on destroying democracy, or he is "that one," but the truth is far more insidious and I am here to tell it to you.

Barack Hussein Obama is actually Darth Opraspictakis - a Sith Lord - and Joe Biden, aka Darth Futindamowthakis, is his Sith Apprentice.

Warned, you are... Take seriously this, you must... Forget all that you have learned, and studied, and experienced, and vote on this rumor, you shall. Your brain shall you leave at home. Trust your rumors, you know they are true.

(Okay... I'm officially sick and tired of the election! I'm definitely tuning out now. Someone tell me how it ends.)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The First Thing To Go...

As President, here is the first thing I would eliminate... The Consumer Product Safety Commission - a group of well-meaning, but completely inept people who will use a bull-dozer to find a china cup (to paraphrase Belloq).

In trying to craft sweeping legislation to prevent the sort of boondoggle we had last year with lead contents in children's toys, they've created new laws that go into effect November 12th that, amongst other things, require:

1) A certification of compliance with all current safety regulations on the books be sent by the manufacturer, importer, and any other interested party to all distributors and retailers for every single product covered by an existing safety regulation.

2) That this certification show the date and time the product was tested to meet these regulations and the name of the certified testing agent (of which there are only a handful worldwide).

Okay, here's the problem with this legislation in a nut shell. Paper. Ordinary paper. Paper is covered under the Federal Hazardous Substance Act where it says, to wit: Paper is safe. However, since Paper is under the FHSA, by this new law, certification must be obtained from the manufacturer that claims that this product is in compliance with the FHSA, and it must provide the name of the testing company that proves that this product is in compliance with the FHSA. So, Paper companies need to get their manufacturers and testing companies to agree that paper is, in fact, paper and therefore safe. And they need to do it for all of their paper products and by November 12th.

All this because some cheap ass Chinese products were found to be bathed in lead paint.

Gee, I'm so glad the government is looking out for me. I feel safer already.

Keep in mind, that all of this testing and labeling and certifying costs money and takes time. And who gets to pay for the cost of this colossal waste of time - the consumer.

So the next time you buy paper, you might want to ask your local retailer if they can prove that its safe. After all, we wouldn't want to think this was just paperwork for paperwork's sake.

P.S. If I'm not around between now and November 12th, guess what I'll be doing.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Doom and Gloom

I admit that one of the things that I generally found annoying about the otherwise excellent An Inconvenient Truth was the ending. After being told the entire planet was about to crap out, Al Gore comes along and says, "Now, wait... there's something you can do. Inflate your tires. Use CFL lightbulbs. Drive less. And Global Warming will GO AWAY! YAY!" I'm paraphrasing in a South Park kind of way. The argument, while giving us some hope to cling to, always came across a little bit like Duck and Cover in case of a nuclear attack. Extremely optimistic, to say the least.

Which is why I was extremely pleased, and entirely disheartened, to watch the Frontline report on PBS the other night, "Heat" about the Global Warming crisis. Make no mistake about it, Frontline doesn't sugarcoat anything. When things were bad in Iraq, they told us just how bad they were. The same thing with Global Warming. By the end of the episode, I was fairly convinced that the planet was screwed.

The problem is that whether we like it or not, Americans tend to be the leaders of the free world. And, as Americans, we tend to react to things rather than act preventively. I mean, let's be realistic, we've known about the concept of global warming since the 50's (one of the rather amusing highlights of the Frontline documentary was a TV show clip from the 50's where the scientist explains the concept of Global Warming and what it might do if it happens, and everything he mentions has pretty much happened). But we've never done anything to act upon it. We knew about Hitler and didn't get involved in the war until 1941. And many of us suspected the financial crisis that is destroying us now, and we did nothing to stop it either. How much more so are we reacting to global warming?

Well, that was the truly scary part of the documentary - so far, we aren't. We've paid a lot of lip service to the idea of attacking global warming, but on every single issue that's come up as a potential solution, the American people, the American government, and, most obviously, American business have worked hard to successfully thwart the solution. Electric cars - flattened. More robust fuel standards - slashed. Clean burning coal - too expensive. Anything that we've come up with as a solution has been stopped.

In the meantime, the world keeps getting hotter. And whether its man made or not - the situation is getting dire. In twenty five years, Peru could lose up to 70% of its river water as the last Andes glaciers completely melt. In thirty to thirty five years, over 500 million people in the Indian sub-continent might be out of water and over 250 million people in China, as the glaciers in the Himilayas disappear. The desertification of a good portion of the world that once fed our growing 6 Billion Plus population is an ongoing problem - one that will spiral out of control if we can no longer water these lands. We are literally a world civilization on the brink of destruction.

Like I said, they don't pull any punches. At the end of the episode, Al Gore didn't come out and tell us to use more peanut butter or some such nonsense. The entire gist of the show was, we're screwed, and if you're expecting big business or government to bail us out, you're also delusional.

Now, that being said, we Americans do tend to bounce back from hard hitting disasters - whether it be the Dust Bowl, the Great Depression, Pearl Harbor or 9-11. If global warming really does start to impact the United States, I've got to believe that we're going to do something about it - something really profoundly good. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that it'll probably already be too late. We basically need to change the entire world society in the next ten years or we're all toast.

Is it any wonder that I stayed up late last night to watch South Park and SNL? When faced with doom and gloom, sometimes the only response is to laugh about something a little more tangible. And by those standards, maybe Al Gore was right.

Friday Light

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- In the beginning, there was a long line for Judgment Day ale.

Shortly after the doors opened on the 27th Great American Beer Festival, a crowd congregated at the booth offering that and other pours from The Lost Abbey of San Marcos, California, where the tap handle is a Celtic cross and the legacy of beer-brewing monks endures.

Standing under a banner promising "Inspired beers for Saints and Sinners Alike," proprietor and former altar boy Tomme Arthur had a confession: He's using God to sell some beer.

"It's the oldest story ever told -- the struggle between good and evil," said Arthur, 35, a product of Catholic schools in his native San Diego. "There is a battle being waged between those who make good beer and those who make evil beer."

Without question, unholy excess is in evidence anytime 18,000 gallons of alcohol is served to 46,000 people over three days. See: women in Bavarian maid outfits and "Beer Pong" tables.

Yet perhaps surprisingly, God could be found at last week's Great American Beer Festival -- in the crassly commercial, in homage to religion's long history in brewing, in needling faiths that turn a suspect eye on drinking, and (if the prophet of home-brewing is to be believed) at the bottom of every glass.

While alcohol and religion don't always mix, no less a figure than Benjamin Franklin once said: "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Charlie Papazian, author of "The Complete Joy of Homebrewing," the undisputed bible of the craft, can cite many intersections of beer and the divine. Mayan and Aztec priests controlled the brewing of beer in pre-Columbian days, monks in Bavaria brewed strong bocks for sustenance during Lent and the first brewery in the Americas was founded by Belgium monks in Ecuador in 1534.

Before Louis Pasteur pinpointed yeast as the culprit in the 1850s, brewers didn't know what caused fermentation, said Papazian, president of the Boulder, Colorado-based Brewers Association. So they invented one run-on word to describe the mysterious stuff at the bottom of the bottle: "Godisgood."

"As you drain a glass of beer, look at the yeast at the bottom and be reminded that God is good, because that's the way it feels," Papazian said.

Like most business owners, brewers tend to avoid politics and religion out of fear of alienating customers. At the same time, microbrewing has become an intensely competitive industry, so putting a saint on a bottle can help a guy stand out.

When Brock Wagner was looking to name his new brewery in Houston 14 years ago, his search took him to the library of a local Catholic seminary. There, he found the story of St. Arnold of Metz, the French saint of brewers and one of many patron saints of the brewing arts.

As the tale goes, Arnold (580-640) urged his people, "Don't drink the water, drink beer" because he believed water boiled in beer was safer than tainted water sources.

Centuries later, St. Arnold Brewing Co. became Texas' first craft brewery, with a "divine reserve" single-batch beer and 21 fermenters named for different saints.

"One purpose of religion is the formation of communities, and our brewery kind of has that effect, of bringing people together," said Wagner, who describes himself as spiritual but wary of organized religion. "Some of our regulars say going on our brewery tour is going to church."

Jeremy Cowan, the marketing mind behind He'Brew (the chosen beer), was absent from his company's booth on the festival's first day; it was Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement.

Established in 1996 (or 5757), Cowan's Schmaltz Brewing Co. uses Jewish humor, scripture and imagery in packaging its beers, all of them kosher. There's Genesis Ale ("our first creation") Messiah Bold ("the one you've been waiting for") and Jewbelation ("L'Chaim!").

"I am passionately Jewish," Cowan said. "I don't get as caught up in the legal minutiae. I'm more fascinated in the project of Judaism as a civilization. This is the way I participate."

Some faith traditions reject alcohol as an intoxicant that invites bad behavior and abuse. Observant Muslims and Mormons, among others, abstain from drinking on religious grounds.

Last year, an evangelical church targeting young adults in the St. Louis area got in trouble with the Missouri Baptist Convention for holding a church ministry at a microbrewery. (The Southern Baptist Convention opposes making, advertising, distributing and consuming alcohol).

At Denver's Great American Beer Festival, four ex-Mormons who met at Utah State University ran a booth selling "X-Communicated Mormon Drinking Team" T-shirts, sweatshirts and other products.

"Our business model is to sell enough T-shirts to pay the cost of a group of our friends getting together and having fun for the weekend," said Mike Hansen, 36, of Whitefish, Montana.

Another entrepreneur peddled "WWJB: What Would Jesus Brew?" T-shirts, with an image of a smiling Jesus with a mash paddle in one hand and a pint glass in the other.

Vinnie Cilurzo of Russian River Brewing Co. in Santa Rosa, California, brews a series of religion-themed beers that began with "Damnation." A strong golden ale, the beer's name is a nod to the great Belgian beer Duval, which comes from the Flemish word for devil.

A restaurant around the corner from Cilurzo's brewery refused to stock it.

"It all started with 'Damnation,"' said Cilurzo, who has no religious affiliation. "I felt like if we started with 'Damnation,' we needed to be redeemed. We needed 'Salvation."'

Cilurzo's latest creation, Consecration, was a festival hit and an answered prayer -- a richly textured sour ale aged for nine months in Cabernet Sauvignon barrels with black currants.

God is good.

Monday, October 20, 2008

The End Is Near?

I received this e-mail yesterday (it wasn't the first time) and it really ticked me off:

According to The Book of Revelations the anti-Christ is: The anti-Christ will
be a man, in his 40's, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with
persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....the prophecy says
that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace,
and when he is in power, will destroy everything..

Do we recognize this description??

I STRONGLY URGE each one of you to post this as many times as
you can! Each opportunity that you have to send it to a friend or media outlet..do it!
I refuse to take a chance on this unknown candidate who came out of nowhere.


So, I just had to respond. Let's first examine what Revelations 13 actually says, shall we?

Revelation 13

1And the dragon[a] stood on the shore of the sea.
The Beast out of the Sea
And I saw a beast coming out of the sea. He had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on his horns, and on each head a blasphemous name. 2The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion. The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority. 3One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was astonished and followed the beast. 4Men worshiped the dragon because he had given authority to the beast, and they also worshiped the beast and asked, "Who is like the beast? Who can make war against him?"

5The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise his authority for forty-two months. 6He opened his mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven. 7He was given power to make war against the saints and to conquer them. And he was given authority over every tribe, people, language and nation. 8All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast—all whose names have not been written in the book of life belonging to the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.[b]

9He who has an ear, let him hear.
10If anyone is to go into captivity,
into captivity he will go.
If anyone is to be killed[c] with the sword,
with the sword he will be killed. This calls for patient endurance and faithfulness on the part of the saints.
The Beast out of the Earth
11Then I saw another beast, coming out of the earth. He had two horns like a lamb, but he spoke like a dragon. 12He exercised all the authority of the first beast on his behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed. 13And he performed great and miraculous signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to earth in full view of men. 14Because of the signs he was given power to do on behalf of the first beast, he deceived the inhabitants of the earth. He ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. 15He was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that it could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed. 16He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, 17so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name.

18This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666.


Okay, so let's look at the e-mail and figure this out:

1st: The Anti-Christ will be a man.
Actual: Then I saw another beast, coming out of the earth. He had two horns like a lamb, but he spoke like a dragon.

Um, it says he's a beast. It says he has two horns like a lamb, but speaks like a dragon. I'm not exactly sure where people interpret that as a man, but we'll let this one go for now.

2nd: He will be... a man, in his 40's...
Actual: Doesn't mention his age at all.

3rd: He will be... of MUSLIM descent...
Actual: Doesn't mention that at all. In fact, ISLAM wasn't even created until four centuries after the writing of Revelations.

4th: He will be one... who will deceive the nations with
persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....the prophecy says
that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace,
and when he is in power, will destroy everything.
Actual: Well, Revelations 13 says some of this. But some of it is only an interpretation of the rest of Revelations. The truth is that the Anti-Christ will not win, so he can't destroy everything. Ultimately, he will be destroyed in Christ's second coming. This, of course, is the whole reason this e-mail is so preposterous.

You see, IF BARACK OBAMA was the Anti-Christ, then all of you whose names are not written in the Book of Life are pretty much screwed anyway. The Bible says:

All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast—all whose names have not been written in the book of life belonging to the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.

All inhabitants... which includes most of us. But here's the thing, this is a pre-ordained thing, right? That means that whether you VOTE for Barack Obama or not, it doesn't matter. If he really is the Anti-Christ, he will still come to power. There will still be the mark of Satan. And the world will still come to an end at its appointed time. In fact, if you really truly do believe that Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ, you'd be better off not even worrying about this election. You should be getting your religious house in order, praying for forgiveness and getting your soul in line with Christ in a big hurry, because the END IS NEAR!

I'm growing sick and tired of people selectively reading the Bible as a means to score points - political, social, or whatever. The last group of people who did this, as I recall, were the religious leaders of Jesus's day - who found justification to murder God in the scrolls of the Torah. How many times do we have to use the Bible to destroy people's hopes, dreams, and lives, before we stop reliving that day some 2000 years ago? Well, if this e-mail is correct, maybe not much longer.

In California right now, we have a very contentious amendment to the California State Constitution on the ballot - Proposition 8 - which seeks to forever clarify marriage as being that of a man and woman. Now personally, I don't really care where people stand on this issue one way or the other. What I really hate is when people argue the issue on religious grounds. The Bible tells them that its okay to persecute a population and that, as a result, we all have the right to persecute these people. I see "religious" rallies on the News where people say such venomous things because the Bible tells them that its okay, so long as the outcome conforms to what the Bible says. Kill Jesus for being unclean! He ate with the lepers and the tax collectors! Kill him! KILL HIM! He HEALED people on the SABBATH! Doesn't He know that's against the Bible! It says so right here!

I think the perfect solution might just be a taste of their own medicine. After all, if Proposition 8 passes, it will amend the Constitution of California. There will be no other debate about it, unless you can get the Amendment repealed or overturned by the Supreme Court. So, instead of fighting for the right to marry, I think those affected by this proposition ought to put a new Amendment on the ballot defining marriage as Permanent before the Eyes of God - I.E. No More Divorce! I say, if they love marriage that much, let's follow the strict Biblical interpretation and outlaw divorce again! It'll never pass... but it will expose the hypocrites for what they are.

Of course, I think we all know what happens when hypocrites are exposed... someone is arrested in the garden late at night and executed the next day.

The more we change, the more we stay the same. Only God can heal our sinful hearts.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Alternate Views on Tonight's Debate

WHAT WE'D LIKE TO HEAR:

"You know Senator McCain, that's a really good idea and when I'm President, I'll be calling on patriots like you and others with great ideas to figure out a way out of this crisis. Its time to end the partisan bickering that has paralyzed our nation and that still cripples us to this day. I'd like to pledge an end to the negative ads, the lies, and the distortions over the final three weeks of my campaign so that the American people can hear, for once and for all, the truth from both Senator McCain and myself. Will you join me, John?"

"Yes I will Senator Obama. I, too, have been ashamed by some of the nasty tactics employed by both parties in this election. They are Un-American and dangerous in these tough times. We would both be completely cynical indeed to continue these false attacks at a time when the American people need us to be entirely up front and straight forward with them. From here on out, my campaign pledges to be truthful, honest, and respectful of the high office that I seek."

WHAT WE'RE LIKELY TO HEAR (*sigh*):

"My opponent is, IN FACT, the mastermind behind the entire economic crisis and the one who has been pulling George Bush's strings for the last 8 years. Senator McCain actually collaborated with the Viet Cong during the war and has never once voted for a single bill in Congress that didn't help destroy this great nation."

"My Arab counterpart is so much of a terrorist that you can't believe a single word coming out of his lying, Al-Qaeda mouth! If Osama's elected, you'll all be blown to bits by terrorists and then taxed for the bomb making equipment!"

Is anybody else ready for the election to be over yet?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Things hoped for

I never claimed to understand God's plan - just to follow it. But there are times when I feel like I'm just doing things and claiming that God has sanctioned it because HE hasn't said no. Day to day things or, sometimes, even life altering decisions can FEEL right, but are they God's design? Sometimes, I just have to have faith that God will let me roam forward and rein me back in whenever I get too far afield.

It's really felt that way when it comes to making films. I can't deny that I've always loved films and always assumed that I would be a film maker someday. But life intervenes, and to be fair, the few times that I've tried to become a film maker, things have not gone well and I've never really bonded with the process. But this time has been different.

I started back into the film world because I was asked by my youth group members to help them make a film. I did, but was so disappointed with the outcome that a crazy idea came to me - go back to film school. I did... without any idea where this would lead me. When I realized that it was time to make my first film, I became enamored with the idea of shooting the film at my church. Something told me that this was the way to go and that the church would be open to the idea. They were and I shot the film there. I thought that would be the end of the story - that my church shooting time was over and I was glad to move on to more professional film shoots that had nothing to do with my church.

Out of the clear blue, I got a request from one of the film makers who helped me with the film if they could use my church for a film (a film, not too ironically, about redemption and faith). In the back of my mind, in my wildest dreams, I had imagined that I might someday plant a seed for someone to remember my church. It hasn't been two months since I stopped filming and already those seeds are growing.

A month ago my sound class was assigned a documentary film to shoot. When I met with my group to discuss possible subjects the first idea floated was to interview a crack addict that lived near one of the guys jobs (he's a bouncer at a downtown club). I started to wonder what I was getting myself into. Fortunately, someone else suggested doing a documentary about a group of people who train formerly homeless people to install solar panels. This group was going to have an installation training in Richmond and we all agreed that this sounded like a good idea. But, the training was canceled and our documentary was without a subject. I then remembered that my church was giving a concert in honor of the International Year of the Organ and because it was the fifth anniversary of our new pipe organ. It being a sound class, I thought this might be a good subject for the documentary. So with a little trepidation, I mentioned the idea to my group, and they all liked it.

I bring this up because this weekend we shot the film. Not only did the filming go smoothly but, to my great surprise, my organist suddenly discovered two new fans. They loved the organ. They loved to hear about how it was built and how it made sound. They promised to go to the concert. Then we spent two hours going around my church sanctuary in a love fest of beautiful film making to match the beautiful organ music we'd recorded. I can't wait to see the final documentary because my church might not ever look that good again.

The lesson I learned this week is that God is the ultimate producer. He maneuvered all the pieces around this weekend in a way that not only accomplished the task of making a great film, but also of glorifying His name and His church. We are amateurs when it comes to planning things out and getting pieces in place and then hoping that things turn out the way we planned. With God, completion is a guarantee and the results are never in doubt. He maneuvers things years in advance before any of us even suspect that we are being maneuvered; so that in all things, whether it be crossing the street or saving the Earth, His plan is the one that is accomplished. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, but I think its also the only chance we can ever get to seeing some of God's plan in action. To see, you must first believe.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

History of Thanksgiving in Canada

The history of Thanksgiving in Canada goes back to an explorer, Martin Frobisher, who had been trying to find a northern passage to the Orient. In the year 1578, he held a formal ceremony, in what is now the province of Newfoundland and Labrador, to give thanks for surviving the long journey. The feast was one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations in North America, although celebrating the harvest and giving thanks for a successful bounty of crops had been a long-standing tradition throughout North America by various First Nations and Native American groups. First Nations and Native Americans throughout the Americas, including the Pueblo, Cherokee, Cree and many others organized harvest festivals, ceremonial dances, and other celebrations of thanks for centuries before the arrival of Europeans in North America [7]. Frobisher was later knighted and had an inlet of the Atlantic Ocean in northern Canada named after him — Frobisher Bay.

At the same time, French settlers, having crossed the ocean and arrived in Canada with explorer Samuel de Champlain, also held huge feasts of thanks. They even formed 'The Order of Good Cheer' and gladly shared their food with their First Nations neighbours.

After the Seven Years' War ended in 1763 handing over New France to the British, the citizens of Halifax held a special day of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving days were observed beginning in 1799 but did not occur every year. After the American Revolution, American refugees who remained loyal to Great Britain moved from the United States and came to Canada. They brought the customs and practices of the American Thanksgiving to Canada. The first Thanksgiving Day after Canadian Confederation was observed as a civic holiday on April 5, 1872 to celebrate the recovery of the Prince of Wales (later King Edward VII) from a serious illness.

Starting in 1879 Thanksgiving Day was observed every year but the date was proclaimed annually and changed year to year. The theme of the Thanksgiving holiday also changed year to year to reflect an important event to be thankful for. In the early years it was for an abundant harvest and occasionally for a special anniversary.

After World War I, both Armistice Day and Thanksgiving were celebrated on the Monday of the week in which November 11 occurred. Ten years later, in 1931, the two days became separate holidays, and Armistice Day was renamed Remembrance Day.

On January 31, 1957, the Canadian Parliament proclaimed:
“ A Day of General Thanksgiving to Almighty God for the bountiful harvest with which Canada has been blessed … to be observed on the 2nd Monday in October.[1]


From Wikipedia

My own experiences with Canada began in 1986. As my last family vacation, we drove north from San Francisco stopping in Portland and in Seattle to visit relatives along the way before arriving in Vancouver for the 1986 World Expo.

This incredible event was well attended by major corporations and governments of the world including huge pavilions from the USSR (a warehouse sized model of the Soviet Union complete with model trains that had to be seen from a catwalk above), the United States (a recreation of the up and coming International Space Station), Disney - (in essence, it was the entire Space Ship Earth ride from Epcot), and Belgium (entirely dedicated to Tintin - yay!). They had decent rides including a two loop roller coaster whose loops were in between two separate sections of a freeway, a really great log ride, and a giant parachute drop.

But the thing I remember most about Vancouver from that trip was Fog N Suds - a local brew pub that is still in existence. They had a FogNSuds burger there that is still one of the all time great burgers ever. It was basically two 1/2 lb patties served Big Mac style on a double decker bun, but with an additional deck that included a fresh off the grill sausage. The entire thing was bigger than my mouth and I literally had to crush the entire sandwich into a thin pulp just to fit it in my mouth. But not to worry, because while I was trying to satisfy my teenagerish stomach, I had plenty to keep me entertained as a local cheerleading squad was across the street in the parking lot in bikini's doing a car wash for charity. Ah, Canada... I will never forget thee.

I've been back to Vancouver once more, Victoria twice, and Toronto and Montreal once each. I really loved Toronto, but wasn't a big fan of Montreal. But overall, I've loved Canada every time I've visited. It seems to me like they're our nice, kind, and respectable neighbors to the North - the Ned Flanders of the North American Continent.

So, Hi-dee-hoe neighorette's... and have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, eh!

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Volunteers needed

So what have I been up to lately?

Besides an Advanced Cinematography class and an Advanced Sound for Film class, both of which have had me shooting assignments pretty much every weekend for the last month, I've been busy doing things for the website and other projects. I'm hoping to finish filming 12 Step Jedi this weekend, for one. And I've been working on the new website for another (about 40% done so far). I should have a preview up for 12 Step Jedi and the first episode of Adventure Saturday up as well when the new website launches. I would have had it online by now, but all this extra work made me vulnerable to the flu and I've only just recovered.

But the biggest news, for me anyway, is that I've been actively working on my second novel. You see, only about ten days ago, I had an idea out of the clear blue (after the Mudpie idea, Andy) and I liked it so much that I just started writing out the outline of the entire novel. It took me only three days to figure out the entire story from beginning to end (although I have two endings in mind, depending on the outcome of the poll from the previous blog). Since then I've been using every spare moment I've had to write the first draft of the synopsis for this new novel.

So, here's the gist of the new story in a word or two - Amelia Earhart, time traveler.

Of course, nothing I write is that simple, but that was the hook that got me into the story.

Anyway, I thought that instead of handing out 250-300 page flawed novels to my friends and family and begging them to read it and tell me what was wrong with it, that I'd start this time by having people read and comment on a much more manageable 20 page synopsis. That way I can fix the story problems before I actually write the darn thing. So I need some volunteers who are willing to thumb through a very basic synopsis and tell me what they think and whether there are any obvious flaws in the story. Its kind of like getting to taste the cookie dough to determine if there's enough sugar before the cookies go into the oven.

So, any volunteers?

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Help me with Novel #2 - simple poll!

Blindness

You know how people always say that hindsight is 20/20. Of course, we all know that it means that if we could look backwards, we'd never make a mistake. But I'm not entirely sure that's true. There's a very good reason that history repeats itself and I think that it has something to do with the source of blindness, or nearsightedness, that overcomes us all from time to time. When it comes to the human heart, greed makes us all blind.

There is no mistake in the fact that Jesus was born into the poorest of poor families - with just enough to get by in this world. Not only did the young family have to rely upon God to feed them and keep them safe, but there was no real chance for any upward mobility. The irony of the statement, "The poor will always be with us," is that Jesus was poor himself. If you think about it, a great many parables of Jesus speak to money - whether it be talents being put to use or the daily wages of workers or lost coins, Jesus was a poor man who spoke to the poor about a kingdom not of this Earth where wealth and worth were to be measured in our value to others in service to them.

It is hard for us to imagine the Kingdom of Heaven, let alone see it, because of this blindness that engulfs us all. We want our lives and we want our homes and we want our friends and we want our money and then we want even more. And every time we want something we don't have and we don't need, we grow more blind. Like Children running a muck in a candy store, we are gorging ourselves on greed.

Its not just a recent issue. In 2001, when I first started at this company, the decision was made to switch over from a profit sharing plan to a 401K plan. The entire company was brought into the conference room and we sat down across from some bankers. The bankers started throwing out their numbers with smiles and rosy pictures. It was all going to be SO golden. Now, at that point, I had not invested a single dollar into either program, but many of my co-workers had their entire retirement savings in the plan. So I asked, "What happens if this rosy picture you're painting isn't as rosy as you expect?" It was like I had popped the party balloon. Everyone, and I mean everyone, looked at me as if I was insane.

"Well, there are risks, of course," the bankers hedged, "But really, the market always keeps going up. So any money you invest will eventually pay off with huge dividends."

"But what if it doesn't?" I persisted.

"It will," they replied.

Two months later, our 401K plans went into effect, transferring all the money that my co-workers had earned over the previous twenty years with the company into these stock market plans. For my own part, I contributed nearly $100 of my hard earned money to my 401K. The next day, crazed Muslim extremists flew two planes into the World Trade Center in New York and one plane into the Pentagon. Every single person in my company lost 25% of their savings from a plan that would, "eventually pay off with huge dividends." I lost $25. Some of my co-workers lost a thousand times that, or more.

Of course, nobody learns these things. Its like they no longer explain the concept that things too good to be true, usually are. Housing costs continue to go up... so they always will. Stock Markets never go down, so they never will. It can't happen here, until it does. What is the one underlying cause of this blindness?

Greed. Pure and simple. Not the kind of salivating Lothario with the twisty handlebar mustache kind of greed, but the kind that says, "I have a pretty good life, but I still want more." Its a more benign form, but still every bit as dangerous and disastrous.

Those bankers weren't bad people. They weren't trying to mislead the people of my company. They, like my co-workers, were convinced that what they were saying was true. But they were basing their convictions on false evidence and on their own assumptions about the world and about the unchanging nature of things. They assumed that since everything was doing fine today, it would continue to do so into the future. Their faith in the financial institutions was based upon a very limited knowledge of the future. My response to them was borne out of a faith of a different nature - a faith in God who tells me that, "Even these walls shall one day crumble." The only thing that is constant in life is God and His love for me - all other things are sketchy at best. Their view of the world was skewed by the idea that because they had gained so much wealth before, the world would continue to provide it to them and to all who did as they did.

So at the core of the world's problems right now is a fundamental blindness caused by Greed. Those who had, wanted more. Those who didn't have, wanted in. It was the world's largest and most elaborate Ponzi scheme ever devised - most bubbles are. And, as usual, the repercussions will be felt by everyone - guilty and innocent alike.

I read the other day of a "poor" couple who were about to become homeless with their three kids. It seems that this Northern California couple invested the equity in their long held family home and bought another home with it, which they rented out to tenants - whose rent was used to pay off the mortgage. This worked so successfully that they used the equity on the second home to buy a third, and then a fourth, and then a fifth. And it all worked so wonderfully. For a few years, they were very well off and enjoying life. And then the market collapsed and the values of these new homes plunged. And suddenly this family couldn't afford the mortgages on the new homes, nor on their own home. In the end, I can only assume that they lost everything.

Its easy to look back and ask, "What we're they thinking?" But I'm telling you my friends, if you want to keep from stumbling in the darkness of blindness, you need to keep your eyes open now, not in hindsight. What they were thinking is that they didn't have enough already and that with a few quick and easy "turns" of these new homes, they could become even more wealthy than they already were. And as a result, they lost everything. They gambled their own home on four others, and temporarily won, but ultimately lost. How much more the Kingdom of Heaven?

This is the attitude that has brought us to this point. It is nothing new. It did us in in 1988. It did us in in 1929. It did us in in 1898. It did us in in the 1870's. It has done us in in every nation and every land we've come from. It did in the Kingdom of Israel. It did in the Kingdom of Judah. It did in Egypt. It is a human condition that goes back to the fall of Man.

The only hope is to humble our ambitions and walk closely with God. All other paths will leave us stumbling in the dark in a state of blindness of our own choosing. We can have perfect clarity in God and avoid the pitfalls and snares of this world, but to do so, we first have to renounce the importance of things and embrace the omnipotence of God.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Work and Pray

"There are many rooms in my mansion... and they all need cleaning!"

Sometimes I get really strange ideas in the shower. My mind tends to drift with the hot water and I make connections in ways that I never made them before - sort of a bi-partisan creative mode that brings ideas from one side of the mind over to mingle with ideas from the other side of the mind to create new ideas that are the best of both worlds. Often times the path that these thoughts take is lost in the hot water. But in this case, it was painful memories that dredged up the above quote.

A great servant of the Lord passed away last week - a man who served at my church for many, many years. Most of the time we got along well, but there was one stretch where things were very disfunctional at my church and he said something to me that just shocked me. It was a reminder of that quote that led to the above quote.

You see, I was the head of a Welcoming Committee at my church and it was my job to find ushers every week. The ushers not only greeted people who came to church on Sunday, but also collected the offering. There were always four ushers. Now, normally, it was no problem finding ushers. It's like a three minute job and there are usually a ton of volunteers. But during this one stretch when things were so disfunctional, I suddenly found my supply of volunteers dwindling to the point where a couple of times, I was the only usher.

Finally, at one point near the end of all these troubles, said servant of the Lord came up to me and explained that he and his group of dissenters would not be volunteering any more because of the disfunction in the church. Like I said, I was very shocked.

I admit at times that it feels as if we're all overburdened with our jobs. Heck, I was just replaced as youth leader at my church (unofficially - I think they're hoping I'll come back... and I might ;) because my real life load was getting too burdensome. I know that on one particular fund raiser after I'd organized, set up, cooked, and served, someone was still upset because I didn't help clean up as well (though I was actually helping clean up at the time, I guess I hadn't quite helped enough ;) But I always like to think that I've chipped in and helped as much as humanly possible whenever I could reasonably lend a hand. But to willfully go on strike to make a point that has nothing to do with Christ but has everything to do with church politics made no sense to me.

It seems that when we are called to be servants of Christ, we are explained the rules of our employment. We are told that the road will be hard. We are told that there is a lot of work to do. We are told that this path is not for everyone and that, indeed, many who start on this path will not reach the end. And we are told that our decision to join is entirely up to us. It is a decision that we get to make. Its not made for us. And its a decision that should be made joyfully, fully aware of the burdens we are about to take on.

How many of us know people who have arrived at the Mansion and at the first sign of chores have quietly slipped out the back to soak in the sun by the pool? Work is for others. It is beneath them. They have not joined this religion to do work. They have joined for all the fringe benefits. And when they are cornered and asked to work, they do so with grumbles and complaints and then talk up their accomplishments as if they're secretly running the entire household behind our backs.

I think we're all given to fits and piques over the hard labor of the Lord. There are times where we all grumble, but then we keep going, we keep doing, because there are many rooms... and they all need to be cleaned... and they're not going to clean themselves.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Some Changes Coming - A Friday Response

In response to Andy's blog over at A Mile From The Beach, I've decided to make ten changes to my blog on Monday. To wit, these changes are:

1) Starting on Monday, in order to make more money, I will run advertising on my blog for the Republican Party, Fox News, and, of course, ENRON.

2) Also to boost my blog ratings, I will be changing the name of this blog to IDOL.

3) I will be leaving all reference to my Christian name behind and adopting my blog name of Lanz Franco so that I might more easily defame my enemies from the anonymity of my, by then, world famous blog.

4) I will write my blog 7 days a week (twice on Sundays!)

5) I will thoroughly trash anyone who comments, pointing out how obviously inferior they are to me.

6) Anyone who posts to my blog will be subject to character assassination. Be warned! My ninjas are already warming up!

7) We will have a weekly discussion on how I can get into the sack with the newly married Scarlett Johansen.

8) All of my content will be liberally borrowed from other bloggers so that I don't have to taint my pure writing talent by talking down to the masses.

9) I will talk endlessly about Andy's shady business dealings with the Hanso Foundation.

10) I will not rest until my blog stock is as high as Andy's and my counter clicks over twice as many times as his does.

I hope everyone appreciates my new changes. I think they will give me a better life like good old King Ahab!

Sincerely,

Lanz Franco - an American Icon today, a worldly Idol on Monday!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Another film, another protest ...

Blindness Film Facing Protest

1 October 2008 12:01 PM, PDT | From wenn.com

Members of the U.S. National Federation of the Blind (NFB) are planning to protest the release of Julianne Moore's new movie Blindness - because the film portrays the blind as "monsters".

The movie, a big-screen adaptation of Jose Saramago's 1995 book of the same name, is about a small town which is thrown into social chaos when the residents are hit by a sudden epidemic and go blind.

But the plot has angered the NFB's 50,000 members and the organisation's leaders have called for a boycott of the movie when it hits U.S. cinemas on Friday.

Marc Maurer, president of the NFB, says, "The movie portrays blind people as monsters and I believe it to be a lie.

"The Nfb condemns and deplores this film, which will do substantial harm to the blind of America and the world. Blind people in this film are portrayed as incompetent, filthy, vicious, and depraved. They are unable to do even the simplest things like dressing, bathing, and finding the bathroom.

"The truth is that blind people regularly do all of the same things that sighted people do."

The Nfb's planned boycott action has "saddened" bosses at Miramax, the studio behind the film.

In a statement, they say director Fernando Meirelles "worked diligently to preserve the intent and resonance of the acclaimed book, that is a courageous parable about the triumph of the human spirit when civilisation breaks down".

You know what I find discouraging. These people are protesting a film they haven't even seen.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Killing Two Birds!

Here's just an idea. I tried to pass it on to Nancy Pelosi, but apparently e-mail being what it is, my message was derailed. SO, if she's paying attention to things like this, maybe she can read this and see what she thinks. As usual, all my good ideas are free of charge and open to pilfering.

One of the biggest problems with the potential Bail Out is that as an American I feel like I'm funding the very same people who screwed up and I'm not getting anything in return. Oh sure, the potential for return on the investment of my tax payer money is decent, but what am I actually getting for that money? Any money earned will just go back into some nebulous government bank account to be used for something like subsidizing GM to build more SUV's, or something equally useless.

So here's my simple proposal... Any money gained through the sale of bad debt mortgages should be put in the Social Security fund so that we might re-fund Social Security.

Let's face it. Spending 700 billion bucks is a bit of a boondoggle. Getting anyone to agree to re-funding Social Security is also a bit of a boondoggle. Now we can kill two birds with one stone. We have to bail out bad mortgages. We have to re-fund Social Security. With one fell swoop, we can do both, and Congress can actually be seen to be doing something positive.

Voila! Lemonade out of lemons!