The Further Adventures of Jeremiah the Prophet

The Further Adventures of Jeremiah the Prophet

Chapter One
1 And so it came to pass that the great Jeremiah the Prophet who had spoken of God's displeasure to an evil and corrupt Judah escaped the destruction of Jerusalem by the Babylonians and fled with his remnant people towards any country that might spare him. 2 And thus did he pass out of all knowledge of the great books.

The Coming of the Great Scribe
3 Thus it was that the great scribe, Wilsephus found the Prophet in a refugee camp near the land of Midian as was foretold by the stars. 4 He presented himself to Jeremiah with the words his master had told him to say, "Oh wise and wonderful man of God, I come to you seeking employment. For it is written that you are semi-retired and yet, the people still come to you seeking words of wisdom or just to hear your latest forecast of doom and gloom. I grovel at your feet to learn the ways of being truly dark." 5 And the great Prophet looked at Wilsephus and sayeth...

"What the heck is that?"

"I'm sorry, Master, did my scribing offend?"

"That's not even close to the true story."

"That's true, oh great Prophet, but I assumed that when your new adventures are published some day they will rival your original book's popularity and be included with other great religious works. Therefore I was merely formatting the actual story of our fortuitous meeting in the style of the religious texts of today."

"Formatting? You were blatantly lying. Besides, I've already told you, Wilsephus, that there was nothing special about me. God simply chose me to say the things that needed saying and I did. That's hardly a skill set that you can profit by. In fact, if anything, saying the things that need saying tends to be rather detrimental to your future career. Did you know that I spent time in the dungeons?"

"Were you tortured?"

"Why do you have that gleam in your eye, Wilsephus?"

"Torture sells better."

"Yours is a sick and twisted world."

"People like to hear about suffering, oh wise master - especially the suffering of others, especially the unjust suffering of others, especially the unjust suffering of others yet to be. Why do you think you've been popular so many years?"

"You say I was popular?"

"Many people read your words, oh great one."

"Yet, they did not heed my warnings!"

"Well... nobody actually believed you. There were many priests that said your warnings were not scientifically based and the king hired many scribes to say you were full of hogwash."

"What I spoke was the truth, young one."

"No doubt. And in hindsight, I think they can all agree that your words were somewhat accurate."

"Somewhat?"

"For the most part."

"My words were from God and they were the truth."

"And you suffered for that truth?"

"Yes, Wilsephus. I suffered a great deal. Telling the truth can be inconvenient from time to time."

"Tell me about the suffering, Jeremiah... were the beatings bloody and gory? Did they use any torture devices?"

"Enough with the suffering, Wilsephus. If you wish to remain my scribe, you will tell only the truth from now on. Is that understood?"

"Truth... as I see it?"

"The Truth as it is known."

"Very well, oh wise one. I will tell the truth."

"Very good, you can start by telling everyone how we truly met."

"Yes, master."

The Further Adventures of Jeremiah the Prophet
(revised)

Chapter One
When last we saw Jeremiah the Prophet, he had just escaped the Babylonian captivity and was headed for lands unknown with a group of refugees. After wandering through the desert for many days, he came upon a camp for refugees set up by the Egyptian army. While several of the younger men were immediately pressed into service, Jeremiah was spared the harder labor and was given the job of writing correspondence to the head of the army in Memphis. As such, he was assigned the assistance of a certain Greek slave by the name of Wilsephus (the wise and wonderfu... WILSEPHUS! I'M WARNING YOU!... who was just a slave) that happened to know how to write the complex Egyptian hierogylphics...

Next time in The Further Adventures of Jeremiah the Prophet, Jeremiah and Wilsephus do battle with the priests of Kon-Sumer and their false religion.