In response to Andy's blog over at A Mile From The Beach, I've decided to make ten changes to my blog on Monday. To wit, these changes are:
1) Starting on Monday, in order to make more money, I will run advertising on my blog for the Republican Party, Fox News, and, of course, ENRON.
2) Also to boost my blog ratings, I will be changing the name of this blog to IDOL.
3) I will be leaving all reference to my Christian name behind and adopting my blog name of Lanz Franco so that I might more easily defame my enemies from the anonymity of my, by then, world famous blog.
4) I will write my blog 7 days a week (twice on Sundays!)
5) I will thoroughly trash anyone who comments, pointing out how obviously inferior they are to me.
6) Anyone who posts to my blog will be subject to character assassination. Be warned! My ninjas are already warming up!
7) We will have a weekly discussion on how I can get into the sack with the newly married Scarlett Johansen.
8) All of my content will be liberally borrowed from other bloggers so that I don't have to taint my pure writing talent by talking down to the masses.
9) I will talk endlessly about Andy's shady business dealings with the Hanso Foundation.
10) I will not rest until my blog stock is as high as Andy's and my counter clicks over twice as many times as his does.
I hope everyone appreciates my new changes. I think they will give me a better life like good old King Ahab!
Sincerely,
Lanz Franco - an American Icon today, a worldly Idol on Monday!
3 comments:
And Exile to Babylon on Tuesday!
Get it right, Lanz, it's my business dealings with Massive Dynamics. Hanso's my non-profit arm.
You're lucky it's Friday. On Monday, I would have to murder you with comments. But for now, I'll let it pass.
Besides which, we all know that whether its Massive Dynamics or Hanso, you were all for deregulation until last week!
The only way you could get in the sack with Johanssen is if you hire someone to kidnap the both of you and gave them only one sack.
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