What Do You Want?

In Babylon 5, a mysterious stranger comes aboard the space station and begins to ask each of the main characters one simple and haunting question, "What do you want?" The stranger never elaborates from the question and each of the characters, naturally, has a different answer. Finally, one of the main characters gets frustrated with the same question being asked over and over again, so he answers with a long monologue about what he wants - glory, riches, his empire returned to power, etc... Being a good sci-fi show, this stranger provides all of these things for him - though not all at once and not without strings attached. It has always made me wary of answering that simple, yet loaded, question. "What do you want?"

On Palm Sunday I had a full slate. I had written down several games for the Youth Group to play during our Youth Meeting after church. I finished writing the letter to be sent to all of our former youth for a big Youth Group Reunion in May. I had to rush out to the store that morning because I had promised to provide the cookies and coffee for our church coffee hour after services. I barely got to church on time to get everything done - from setting up the tables to making the coffee to warming up my voice for the church choir. During Choir warm-ups I was asked to recite part of the opening litany for the service which I gladly did. The service went ahead as scheduled and right as the announcements were being read, I slipped out the back of the choir loft and ran downstairs to get the last of the coffee service ready for after church. Then came the congregation and I had to serve them coffee and cake and cookies and then clean up. Then it was time for Youth Group and I had to run all the games. And then clean up. And then I had to rush out of the church to go home and get changed for T-Ball Practice with Andy.

As I climbed into my car, I was rather annoyed that someone had left my CD case upended on my front seat. I threw it over into the passenger seat on top of all the stuff that had been in my glove box and inserted the key into the ignition and checked the rear view mirrors and started the truck and... Wait a second here! I slowly turned and looked at the pile of stuff in my passengers seat and the thought finally dawned on me - what was that stuff doing all over the inside of my car. Then I turned, almost comically, and looked into the back seat and saw the glass that was now smashed all over the inside of my car. I'd like to say that I was very calm and cool about it right from the get go, but despite the fact that I'd just spent five hours in church, a very choice epithet escaped from my lips. Someone had broken into my car.

As I went through my truck putting things back in their place and looking for things that were missing, several thoughts clamored for my attention right away. Believe it or not, I thanked God. Not because I was happy that someone had done this but because I knew it could have been much worse. With all the help I've been giving people moving things lately, my truck was virtually empty - and what had been there had been looked through, but nothing of great value had been stolen. I normally carry a change dish in my car and have been carrying it for years and last week, out of the clear blue, I decided to empty it into my coin bank. So, though my car had been broken into, I had not actually lost anything of value. My second thought was probably the same one you've all had by now, "ON PALM SUNDAY?!" The brazen act of smashing someone's car window in and rifling through that person's stuff in order to commit petty theft is bad enough, but on Holy Ground on a Holy Day - that really takes the cake. But then my third thought swept over me like a peaceful stream - who cares? Its only things. And if these people needed it more than I did, they were welcome to it. I was actually worried for their souls.

We've all done terrible things before - maybe not as brazen as a smash and grab on Palm Sunday, but certainly bad enough. How many times has someone prayed to God about your terrible dark deeds? Prayed for your deliverance? Prayed for your guidance? Prayed for your soul? I'd both like to feel and hate to feel that many people have prayed for me over the years. I'd hate to think that I have been that much of a nuisance, but at the same time, it gives me comfort to know that someone professes a love of Jesus Christ that is deep enough to pray for me and my transgressions against them.

I know I should be angry, but I'm not. I know I should be afraid, but I'm not. It is Holy Week, the week where we all prepare anew to receive God's saving grace for our lives. How can something so trivial upset me in a week like this?

What do I want? (Besides a new piece of glass for my car ;) I want to find the people responsible for this. I want to get alone in a room with them. And I want to forgive them and pray with them and offer them other things that they need. I want to live in a world where living my convictions isn't so hard because everyone lives them as well. I want to make this world a better place than I left it. I want to live an exemplary life and show people the way to Christ - to take up not only my own cross and burdens, but some of theirs as well, and say, "Follow me and I'll take you before the Throne." That is what I want.