This was going to be my glorious coming out party post. I was going to rededicate my life to God and to the idea of attaining perfection. I was going to announce my new found goal of putting my life in order - of getting into shape, finding my true love, settling down, and becoming the productive God fearing citizen that I know God and the Republican party want me to be. But then I read something that made me change my mind.
Paris Hilton has been pegged to play Mother Theresa.
You know, I didn't even read the article. And I know that Netscape News is often misleading with its headlines. It was the very concept of this headline that drew my attention. I had to look it up. Sure enough, in the Revelations of Christ to St. Wobegone, I found this: WOE 14: 1-4 "And in this day, a woman of no virtue whatsoever will end up acting as a woman of great virtue, thus blurring the lines of virtue for all to see and forever more. And this shall happen so that you know that I am God and that you are not. This is but one sign of the apocalypse to come - before the blooding of the moon and after the throwing of the syringe. And a fat man shall become thin."
There it is in black and white. Paris Hilton, Mother Theresa - a sign of the Apocalypse to come. These are the end times. Prepare yourself for the second coming!
1 comment:
This is but one sign of the apocalypse to come - before the blooding of the moon and after the throwing of the syringe. And a fat man shall become thin.
Brilliant.
Game on, my friend. So how many push ups and crunches did you do this morning?
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