Days of Future Perfect - Day One

I was trying to get the RSS Feed (whatever that is) working on my blog and I must have done something wrong. Instead of RSS'ing, when I hit the enter key, this blog post from the future spit out. It was dated September 8th, 2006. I thought for sure that it was a mistake or something, until I read the last line. Anyway, I just thought you might like to read ahead a little. Oh, and now that you know what's going to happen - forewarned is forearmed.

My So-Called Vacation - Part One

It's nice to finally be settled in my room here at the Wilderness Lodge Resort at Walt Disney World, if for no other reason than to be away from all that constant political yammering going on in the news lately. But it has certainly been a trip from Hell so far.

With the lingering effects still being felt from Hurricane Jack, we thought it a good idea to check in at the airport a little early. My brother and I had shared a bedroom at my house last night so that we could get to the airport early. My sister's family and my Mom stayed at a hotel near the airport. We were all going to meet at the airport. I lugged my luggage down the stairs to the living room at about 4:30am and then had to lock the dogs in the basement so that my brother could come down - but of course he wanted to take a shower and dawdle all the while the dogs were barking and waking up the whole neighborhood. Needless to say, I was already on edge by the time the shuttle bus arrived.

We loaded the bus and started off and two blocks later I remembered the box of Noah's bagels I'd left on the kitchen table. That was our breakfast, so I had to convince the driver to take us back. He wasn't too pleased with me as I ran inside to get the bagels. Finally, about 5:15am we arrived at the airport. My sister and family was nowhere to be seen.

My brother and I checked on to the flight and then waited for my sister to arrive. I'll give her some credit. She's got three little kids to get up every morning and that's got to take some time - but one of them is her husband, and that's her own fault for not training him when she had the chance ;) They arrived half an hour after us and we all had to rush to get through security. Ironically, chronic terrorist suspect Carl (my sister's husband) was not pulled aside by security, but I was. Practically strip searched for no apparent reason (I sincerely doubt my agent has been sharing the contents of my book with Homeland Security, but with all the revelations these days about what they've been snooping into, one never knows ;) I was eventually reunited with the rest of my family at the boarding gate.

As I passed out the bagels to everyone, my brother decided then to inform me that he didn't eat bagels and that he was promised breakfast. My brother doesn't even begin to wake up until noon, so I knew that logic and reason weren't going to work. I decided to placate him and we ran off to a restaurant to get him a crappy wannabe Egg McMuffin. They were calling the flight by the time we got back and I was not looking forward to cramming a bagel in my mouth before the flight. But it was not going to be a problem as my sister's youngest, Natalie, had managed to get her hands into the cream cheese and "paint" all the remaining bagels with half eaten bagel particles and cream cheese. I threw the remaining bagels into the trash and hoped that they at least served peanuts on the flight.

Okay, people, I've been losing weight now for nearly four months and I still felt like a sardine rolled into a giant tin. Since when did airlines decide that the average person weighs like 100 pounds? You know, now that I think about it, I remember thinking airline seats were small when I was 100 pounds. Our flight boards, rolls out on to the tarmac, and then sits in a 30 minute delay while the kids become more and more apoplectic about the whole concept of vacation. Finally, we took off and in the case of the kids, I mean it. I saw the flight attendants roll their eyes as they looked at my adorable niece and nephew throwing a fit despite the best attempts of my sister and her husband to quiet them down.

There was a brief stopover in Dallas, and then we boarded another plane for Orlando. I only just managed to grab a cheeseburger at the Burger King when we landed. It wasn't on my diet, but hell, it was the only thing I'd eaten all day. I ended up sharing it with my nephew. We weren't in Dallas long enough to see any of the effects of Jack, but as we flew towards Orlando, the damage was visible from the air.

We arrived in Orlando right on schedule. The air was sultry and hot and I thought for sure that that was a bad sign - but the thunderstorms had already passed by for the day, so we were safe. We found our chartered bus driver waiting for us and we loaded all our bags and kids into the bus and were off in about twenty minutes. I was just joking with my sister that now that we were in Florida things were finally running smoothly when I heard the pop and hiss, and we had to pull over. Rather than wait for another bus, Dave and I climbed out onto the shoulder of the expressway with the driver and we put the spare on the bus. Even then, the driver was reluctant to take us the rest of the way. But we persuaded him with an extra large tip. As a result, we missed our stop at the grocery store - which made Heather irate since this was the only reason we'd rented the charter bus in the first place. We were a surly lot when we finally drove up in front of the Wilderness Lodge and disembarked from our trip to Hell.

One look at the lobby of this majestic hotel and the look of awe and wonder in the kids eyes however, made us all cool down and just enjoy the trip for what it was. The check in went smoothly and soon we were up in our rooms with a great view of nothing but wilderness all around. I think Heather had hoped to see the castle or something, but for me, this was what it was all about. Despite the SARS warning about the mosquitoes, I happily stood on the balcolny and just absorbed the nature through my pores.

We went swimming for a half hour before we all got dressed for a quick dinner at the Whispering Canyon Cafe where the kids were already drooping. Despite the fact that it was only 5pm back home, we were all exhausted and ready for a good night's sleep and we came up to the room.

Of course, I had to post a blog since Andy gave me this wonderful laptop for my birthday. Still don't know what posessed him - especially considering what he's gone through in the past three months. Sure enough, as I logged on just now there was an e-mail from him and his family. They've arrived at the Seminary and checked in. Soon to be Pastor Andy still hasn't had a chance to get a DSL account, but says that they're coming by to hook him up later this week. He wanted everyone to know that his kids have been enrolled in the local school and his wife has a nursing job already lined up. He'll be back online shortly. He said that Dan came down to help him move which was really cool, but considering Dan's access to the private jet from his new company, I guess its not as much of a burden any more.

Well, its getting late and I have a whole day of Disney adventures tomorrow to write about and I have to get up early for my jog (Yes, Sue, you task master, I'm running even on my vacation!). I also got an e-mail update from my agent, but I'll share that with you tomorrow. Take care everyone.

P.S. I can't believe the Giants have clinched the N.L. West so early this year! Whatever happened to the Dodgers?

Well, as you can see, that last line clinches it. This must be a real post from the future. I was surprised to discover that as I read this one, nine more blog posts appeared in my inbox - also from the future. So, come back tomorrow, to find out what happens next.

(P.S. You should read the comments from the future as well... but I'll let you add your own. Its hard to believe what happens to some of you in the future... ;)