Your Health, Non-Israelite!

In an effort to get around spam filters, I think I've been insulted. I'm not quite sure what insult there is in being a non-israelite, but I'm sure its not a compliment. How do I know? Because the second spam headline read, Your Health, Milking Shorthorn - which I believe is some sort of lactating goat. Surely, that's an insult if I ever saw one.

Its Friday, and I have had little sleep. Last night, I watched a scary movie all the way up until the scary part then decided that I didn't want all that stuff running around in my head, so I shut it off. The movie in question was Peter Jackson's Heavenly Creatures which was the debut of young Kate Winslet. Its a haunting movie about a true story of two NZ girls who have an "unsavory" relationship that eventually leads to murder. Its opening is great film making. It starts with a 1950ish travelogue about New Zealand and its quiet peaceful capitol city of Auckland which perfectly sets the tone and gives you a little overview of the city. Then, we see a very brief dreamlike sequence of the girls dancing gaily on a steamship, followed immediately by the same girls running through the woods with their clothes splattered in blood. Very effective. Anyway, I watched the movie all the way up to the point where they were about to commit the murder, and then I shut it off.

I needn't have bothered with the whole sleep thing. A half hour later my dog threw up. I spent the next half hour waiting for my dog to finish self-medicating herself with grass (pure 100% Pacifican Backyard Weeds ;) When she finally finished, and came inside, I shut the backyard door, turned off the lights and climbed into bed. Ten minutes later, she threw up BIG TIME (In the darkness at first, I thought there was a stuffed animal next to her - but it was a big pile of undigested grass EWWW GROSS!) So, out she went again. After an hour of this, she came in and settled down and we went back to sleep. 4:15am I bolt upright in bed cause I hear this massive gasp and choking cough. Turn on the lights and the first thing I see is my dog heading for the backyard and this mass of red something all over the wall. I run to my dog to see if she's okay and then seeing that there's no permanent harm, I let her outside. Curious, I head back into the bedroom to discover the red "blood" all over the wall, was actually the red string hair of a dog toy half buried under a dog bed so that only the red is showing against the white wall. Anyway, the last two hours of the night I got to sleep straight through.

Right before I left for work this morning, I decided to watch the murder scene. It lasted about two minutes, didn't really show anything, and then cut to the credits. Somehow I think I must have offended the film gods last night by trying to go to sleep three minutes before the end of the film. Had I only known...

Maybe, after I lose this job from a lack of sleep, I can get a job writing insults for spammers? I think I can easily say, Your Health, Heaping Fry Mound!