The Last Perfect Moment

I realized that I have been taking my own sweet time with the editing of my novel not out of any concern for its quality, but merely as a means to savor this one last perfect moment.

In my head, the Novel was one thing - perfect in its conception, but never more than just a concept. I could not see if it was even possible to complete. I kept it there, out of love for the concept, knowing that it could never be as perfect as I conceived it in my head. But eventually, I knew it was time to write it.

On paper, the Novel certainly had a rough start. I wrote and rewrote the first chapter at least twelve times - never getting just that perfect balance. In my head, I could fast forward through the boring parts and zero in on the drama. But in practice, I had to include the boring parts to make the book work. My perfect concept was fading, being replaced by something new, something wonderful.

Slowly, really, really, slowly, the Novel took shape. And after each rendering, the concept became fainter and fainter - until it vanished entirely. It was replaced by a real thing. A real Novel that you could touch and read and feel. A perfectly made entity - the best work of its kind ever written... and edited... and edited again (to make it more perfect, of course).

And so now, I sit in wonder and in awe of this perfect story, this wonderful creation of mine, and I know that the final step in the process is about to begin. Once I send this Novel out to be read, it will stop being a perfect creation. Flaws will develop. Cracks where cracks had not existed before. Characters will seem less wonderful. Dialogue not as crisp. Descriptions will become confused and muddled. A million literary holes will spring forth in the perfect dike of my novel and there will not be enough fingers to plug them all. Perfection will end. Reality will arrive. And I will never be able to reenter this perfect garden of writing again. My Novel will have fallen and taken me with it.

So, I linger and savor this last perfect moment. The first ten chapters have been edited and are ready to send out to any willing readers. I will make five copies. I have five readers lined up. When I get those copies back, I will send them to whomever. By the end of the week, submissions will be sent to agents. The moment is coming to an end. Perfection is dashed. And all I can look forward to now is redemption.