It seems impossible for us to create those hot summer nights spent out in the woods with our best buds and newest friends - sharing ghost stories, s'mores, and lots of Narnia books. I remember vividly my entire week in summer camp when I was... 10 years old (Had to think when Skylab fell). I don't remember any of the kids that were there. I don't remember the name of the camp. But I remember the trip to the tide pools. And I remember the long hike through the woods that somehow ended at an ice cream shop in a nearby town. I remember swimming and playing in the stream. I remember hiking through the stream because it was cool on the feet. I remember sitting in my bunk reading Prince Caspian and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. I remember all of these amazing things about camp.
Camps have grown up now. You don't go to Camp. You go to _____ Camp. You fill in the blank. Computer Camp. Music Camp. Basketball Camp. Etc... Its bad enough that our kids spend all year long cramming useless facts into their heads. God forbid they go into the woods and just learn to enjoy hiking. Hiking Camp, anyone?
I've got to know that a great many of us went to camp when we were kids. We remember what camp was and what it ought to be again. That is why I am proposing to add in the Future Wing of Eventual Projects To Be Built When I Figure Out How To Make A Ton Of Money And Have A Lot Of Free Time - Camp Will.
A visit to Camp Will will be the highlight of any summer. Nestled in the woods (if there are any left by that time) as far from civilization as humanly possible, it will be our goal at Camp Will to make your kids forget everything they learned in school that year. This "unfinishing" school will be to education what Daniel Boone was to Socrates. Here kids will learn to swim, fish, skip rocks, play tag, read books, sleep in hammocks, goof off, throw water baloons, play softball, toss horseshoes, ride horses, make cheap art projects, swim some more, eat lots of comfort food, run around a lot, and make lots and lots of friends. Generous doses of s'mores and sing-a-longs will be doled out every evening. If we don't turn your Kid into a kid by the end of the summer, you will get your money back. Guaranteed.
Future sign ups for this camp will commence as soon as I finish building my string of pub/fitness centers across the country.
I don't want to be the Apprentice. I want to be his boss! ;)
4 comments:
Yeah, and one of the purposes would be to get the kids to call Socrates the way Bill and Ted called him..
SEW - CRAAAATES. Not SAH-CRUH-TEEZ.
Bill and Ted might have to be one of those Theme Weeks at the camp. Excellent! (Insert Guitar Music here).
Hmmm... I can see it now "Camp Wigmore." Make Wigmoores by the camp fire. Every Thursday, Beans and Wiggies.
Can I be your PR person?
I can't wait to see the Wigmore Talent Evening.
I went to camp once - girl scout camp. It was awesome. I recommend girl scouts to any little girls.
We also went once with our troop. It rained the whole weekend. We were supposed to spend the night in tents, but spent it in a cabin, instead. We had a blast. The second day, while still pouring and just going bonkers in the cabin, our leader decided we would just go out and get dirty. Since we were wet anyhow, we waded into the stream, waist high, and hiked its entire length. We found newts and salamanders, sang, skipped rocks, hiked - - it was awesome. 5 of the 7 kids came home with poison oak, but they didn't care.
Westminster Woods was also excellent. Must've been 3rd or 4th grade when I went to "Sherwood Forest" with the whole Robin Hood theme. Very cool stuff.
The Junior High Camp, "Railroad Camp" was pretty good, but it was really cliquey and there were a fair number of kids who were bullies. But we did have a camp-wide Capture the Flag game that was most excellent, and I recall nearly getting the opponents flag (I was within 5 feet of it) before getting caught myself.
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