I've been stolen. Of course, by now, after parading around as me for a while, I'm sure they've discovered that I'm not such a great person to be.
I imagine they were quite excited to become me at first - the thrill of accomplishment if nothing else. "Honey, come quick! I've just become some former military guy named Will Robison in San Francisco!" But the thrill probably quickly wore off the first time they hopped behind the wheel of their car and immediately started cussing out the nearest driver. "Woah!" they probably thought, "Just what have I become." And then, a while later, as they approached the ATM to attempt to withdrawal my massive amounts of funds, they probably saw a McDonalds nearby and were overcome with a crippling desire for a really big cheeseburger - only to realize that they only had enough money to buy one miniscule burger. "I really ought to get a better job," they realized.
In the Wal-mart/E-bay highest bidder takes all world that we live in, I imagine my identity is back on the market trading somewhere in value below the surplus bat guano in the shape of Tom Bosley. The auction begins with, Please! Take this off my hands!
So to the person out there that has acquired my identity, along with the other 25 million ID's of military veterans in the United States, all I can say is, "You're welcome!" As to me, I'm starting over. I've decided to be Britney Spears husband... unless that identity is already taken.
3 comments:
Boy, would I feel sorry for you if you wound up as Britney's husband. Talk about a trainwreck that we witness on a daily basis.
Good luck (and my prayers to you) on getting it back...whoever you are.
Will: Excuse me interrupting you but I had to answer your comment re my blog in Randall's comment box. Honestly I don't think you would hate it. Randall did make it sound a bit 'Peg's Paper' but it is more than that - mainly how it was then to be young with different strictures and morals. And - if you can wait that long it does have a happy ending with the proviso that there never is a happy ending because one of you woill die. Now I've probably put you off even more. At least you could look at the photos.
Just saying!
I got the letter too! Whoever took my identity, good luck getting a line of credit at the local gas station.................
Britney????? She's got an awful lot of baggage.....What about Paris?
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