I am told that sometimes my thinking can be positively primeval. I disagree. (Ugh. Scratch. Grunt. I smash people over head with big wooden stick and drag them by hair to my cave.) The leader of these people, I'll call her... "Mom", for short... suggests that my thinking about these green things that other people eat may be old fashioned. I think she uses too many big words for my limited brain to understand. One of those big words, Vegetables, is particularly alien to me.
However, witch doctor say that I am developing Big Club Elbow and that reason I no bop mate over the head for many moons. He say eating these vegetable things might make future mate bop me instead. Ugh. Me no think that such a bad idea.
Vegetables aren't as bad as saber-toothed tigers. They don't run as fast. They don't try to eat you. And they are easier to catch. But they no taste as good. Even with large measures of cheese and salad, veggies no taste as good as Brontosaurus burger. Me no understand how they attract mates. Me becoming very scrawny and cold when walk on glacier to chase Mastadon. Me no get winded when do fire dance. Me need less dinojuice because me walk everywhere. Me save large amounts of green paper.
Me no pansy, though. Me still like animal flesh. Ugh. Grunt. Snarl. Me still think Dodger Fans whimps! Me still cook fish. Me still drink mead. Me still enjoy football. So, vegetables no change me that much.
Still no mate bop me yet. But me hopeful.
3 comments:
YOU, my friend are one HILARIOUS guy!! I laughed my way through this entire post. :o)
You are not alone in your dislike of vegetables. I am more of a fruit person myself.
No matter how much of a fungi I am, I still don't like veggies. ;)
Amen.
Although some I tolerate more than others...
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