The Instruction Book

A One Act Play
Starring
Kino and Jokem

Jokem stands stage center with a black book in his hand. Kino enters stage left and approaches Jokem.

Kino: Hey, Jokem, whatcha doing?

Jokem: Reading.

Kino: Whatcha reading?

Jokem: An instruction book.

Kino: An instruction book? What do you need instructions for? Instructions are for morons. What are you trying to do?

Jokem: I'm trying to love my neighbor as myself and the man with too much starch in his collars said that this was the instruction book for that.

Kino: Well, you could read that instruction book cover to cover my friend and not get any closer to figuring this one out. Fortunately for you, I happen to be an expert.

Jokem: Really?

Kino: Really... now put down that instruction book and follow me. Besides, how hard can loving your neighbor be?

Jokem: I don't know Kino... the guy that wrote this is a carpenter and he's pretty smart.

Kino: Carpenter? Bah! Any fool can use a hammer and nails. Come on, I'll show you. Look, here comes a neighbor now.

A NEIGHBOR enters stage right and walks across the stage, right past Kino and Jokem. As he's passing, Kino gets his attention.

Kino: Howdy, Neighbor.

The Neighbor looks at Kino and just keeps walking.

Kino: I said, Howdy, Neighbor!

The Neighbor keeps walking.

Kino: Hey, Jerk! I said Howdy. You're supposed to say Howdy back to me! What kind of idiot are you?!

Neighbor: What did you call me?

Kino: I called you a jerk. What are you going to do about it?!

As Kino and Neighbor get into a big fight on the stage, Jokem frantically reads through his instruction book.

Jokem: Kino! Kino! I think you're doing it wrong!

Kino: I'm skipping some steps (oof!) Jokem. I'm going straight (pow!) to the part where I tell my neighbor (bam!) about how he's supposed to be (argh!) more friendly... or else.

Kino finalls knocks out his Neighbor and stands over his unconscious form.

Kino: See, Jokem... its simple. I am loving my neighbor by showing him the error of his ways. Now there is peace in our time.

Jokem: I'm not sure that loving my neighbor is supposed to look like this. I think I'm going to read the instructions some more.

Kino: Well... if you want to. But don't blame me if you waste your time and discover I was right all along. As I always say, Jokem, instructions only get in the way.

The End

(Everyone have a great weekend!)