Bush Government Supresses The Truth! EVIDENCE!

Somewhere deep in the bowels of the White House...

"Well, Bat Boy, now that you've returned from Iraq what should we do now? Should I send you to the moon to rescue Lincoln's brain? Or maybe have you raise Mrs. Cheney's alien baby? Or perhaps you could once and for all prove that Kennedy was killed by Cuban zombie assassins?"

"No, Mr. President, it is my patriotic duty to defend this country and our boys and girls overseas from an insidious danger - a magazine that is leaking the truth to the unsuspecting masses. Ever since they revealed the truth about the Space Shuttle being powered by alien technology, I haven't had a moment's peace. We must stop them!"

"You don't mean..."

"Yes, Mr. President... I intend to shut down the Weekly World News and keep their truths from reaching the light of the world."

"You think that'll stop them?"

"Unless there is some other brave soul out there willing to take their place, yes."

And so, back at TAC Headquarters...

"A toast to Weekly World News! You kept us entertained (and cough cough, informed) for nearly thirty years!"

"To the Weekly World News!"

"And now, people, we've got work to do. There are so many undiscovered truths out there! We must find them and bring them to the light of the world! We must take up their mantle and be a beacon of truth! Let's get started with our first story... Bush Government Supresses The Truth!"

And so, the Truth rolls on...

IN MEMORIAM
WEEKLY WORLD NEWS
1979 - 2007