If you haven't read the other six Harry Potter books by now, what the heck are you waiting for? Either way, stop reading now! There be spoilers ahead...
Ah, that's better... a little breathing room.
As you may know, Harry Potter's final book is being released in ten days and I'd thought I'd jump on the bandwagon and make a few terrible predictions about the final book as well. Since I was so wonderfully astute with my Hagrid Is The Half Blood Prince observation, I should warn you about the accuracy of these predictions. But then again, the accuracy of these predictions will speak for themselves.
#5) DUMBLEDORE IS HARRY'S REAL FATHER - It will be revealed in the last book of the illicit love affair between Dumbledore and his student Lily Evans and that after the affair, Lily tricked James Potter into marrying her and naming Dumbledore's son Harry.
#4) SNAPE IS HARRY'S REAL FATHER - See above, only in this case it was Severus Snape and Lily Evans who had the illicit love affair.
#3) THE SORTING HAT IS A HORCRUX - Having gone back in time to steal something of Godric Gryffindor, Voldemort actually kills Godric and uses his hat as a Horcrux, thus permanently animating this vile and punny hat.
#2) DOBBY IS THE ILLICIT SON OF LEGOLAS - Having borrowed so heavily from Greek Mythology, this is clearly an attempt by JK Rowling to tie her story to a more contemporary mythology.
#1) HARRY POTTER LIVES - Realizing that dying would suck, Harry decides to give up his quest to kill Voldemort and live it up. Cashing in on his fame to get into parties and concerts and to star in how own reality series where he uses Magic to pretend he can do a whole bunch of normal muggle tasks, Harry quickly discovers the excesses of fame. With Harry out of the way, Ron and Hermione die a little inside.
So, there you have it. In ten days, we'll all know the accuracy of these predictions. Personally, I'm really hoping for a perfect 0 for 5 score.
3 comments:
Considering that I found the first book to be an absolute bore (and only made it about 1/2 way through), these sound pretty darn good to me. ;-)
I had the opposite reaction. I picked up the first book prior to the first movie expecting it to be along the lines of R.L. Stine's horror books or Lemony Snicket's books - simple, childish, commercial.
Instead, I was hooked by the bizarre world of Harry Potter and the story that kept getting better the more I read. I read the first three books in about two weeks. I then bought the fourth book and was completely transfixed.
But I know a lot of people like you who don't like them. I don't say you're right or wrong to not like them, but I do feel sorry that you can't get the same delight out of them that so many other people have. Imagine not "getting" Star Wars or LOTR. Well, that's kind of what it feels like.
And please, don't judge the books by the movies... they just don't begin to match up.
Ah Padawan...know me that well you do not then...
Of course I wouldn't judge the books by the movies. I merely judged the book by the book, and I couldn't stand it. Do I judge those who like it? Of course not.
Don't feel sorry for me that I don't get the same delight as others...it just ain't my cuppa tea...
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