James Cameron is a Poo Poo Head

Just some odd thoughts, cheap shots, and connect the dots on this lazy Tuesday afternoon.

James Cameron is a poo poo head. And not entirely because he produced a rather salacious and stupid documentary about the Tomb of Jesus being found in Jerusalem. The whole concept of the documentary is just insane and the worst sort of science. I'm an archaeologist and I've just uncovered a tomb in Jerusalem from 2000 years ago and, HEY LOOK, there's some ossuaries with names written on them and one of them says Joshua, son of Jesus. THEREFORE, 2000 YEARS OF RELIGION MUST BE WRONG! Cause, quite frankly, that's the ONLY conclusion we can reach from this chain of events, right? Dumb, dumb, dumb - idiots! But rhe real reason James Cameron is a poo poo head is Aliens, T2, Titanic, and then... The Tomb of Jesus. Wow! Way to underwhelm me, film guy. I'm the KING OF THE WORLD! Now let me take off my clothes and run around naked in the streets! Get off your lazy money grubbing butt and start making real movies again and leave the theology to the professionals before you hurt something!

And speaking of dumb and stupid and wrong conclusions, I read a headline yesterday that made me check to see if it had been written by The Onion. But, no, in fact, it was written by real news writers who were actually reporting the real news. Crazy. It seems that the young actor who plays Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe, has been stretching his acting limbs in interesting ways. Trying not to be forever typecast as a teenage wizard who flies around on brooms, young Daniel auditioned for and received a role in the British production of EQUUS. He plays a troubled young man who has a thing for horses and, at one point, walks onto stage entirely in the nude - with his little wand hanging out for all the world to see. You can see where I'm going with this right? You can see the protests coming from parents all over the world that young Harry Potter is on stage with his little broom hanging out there? Well, you'd be wrong on that. There are protests all right, but not about wee nudity. NO! The Horror of the Situation Is... HE SMOKES! That's right! With Real Cigarettes! On Stage! There's no word on whether he lights up in the buff, but that hardly matters! When parents take their impressionable young ones to see Harry Potter in the All Nude Horse Review, their kids might be traumatized by Harry smoking a cigarette! Mr. Radcliffe, my advice to you is to get a sensible job where people don't give a crap whether you smoke or walk around naked with horses... um... I'm sure there's a job out there like that somewhere... probably in Vegas.

And finally, I just realized that if I lengthen my penis, enhance my breasts, refinance my mortgage, take hundreds of prescription medications, and help a poor guy in Nigeria with his financial windfall... I'd still have an e-mail cache filled with SPAM. Makes me want to go on a Viking raid!