Donald Miller ends the second chapter of his book, "Searching For God Know's What," with this pronouncement and it was the last thing I read before going to bed. I tossed and turned all last night after reading this terrible sentence. I'm hoping the book gets better after this, or else its going to be a very short book in terms of a Christian Message (Searching For God Know's What - a new book about Christian Spirituality from someone who doesn't believe in God ;)
The passage in the book equates belief in God to belief in Santa - that many of us have Christianity stamped on us like children have Santa stamped on us. Eventually we grow older and stop believing because God was never a real construct for us. While I debated posting yesterday's blog about Reality vs. Fiction, this second chapter was really making my point for me and I realized that I needed to post the blog so that everyone could understand my further discussions of this book.
In my College English term paper entitled, "The Arm Chair Diety," I argued that people write to change the world. It is my firm belief that we humans try to emulate the real world in our arts by creating an idealized version of it. The daily drives and tediums of reality can never be fully captured in the arts because, quite frankly, who would want to capture it? No matter how good the play, the movie, the book, the poem, the painting, etc... it can not capture the minute by minute experience of daily life. We don't go to a movie to watch two hours of a character's life - to see them walk around thinking inane thoughts, sit at their computer and type their daily blog, go to the bathroom, wash their hands, contemplate lunch, make phone calls, scratch themselves, etc... It would be boring and pointless. We emulate the real world in such a way that we can skip all that in-between stuff and get straight to the point - love is good, evil is bad, heroes thrive, villians die, etc... Thus showing the world the way we want it to be, not the way it is. But in doing so, we also show the world the way it needs to go, or warn it against going a certain way.
Writing has greatly affected the world. The Bible has had a lasting impact on generation after generation. Mein Kampf led the world into unspeakable horrors. Shakespeare continues to enlighten and enthrall.
A good writer can lead us into places we do not want to contemplate. I was thinking about this after reading Miller's above passage. I have certain things that I simply refuse to contemplate. I just know I'm not strong enough to resist the intellectual urge and I'm afraid that once I start down that path of discovery, I will never be able to find my way back to safe, normal thinking. The first, and foremost, is What if there isn't a God? Not going there. Don't need to. The second, and almost as scary, is For what would I sell my soul? Again, not going there. Don't need to. Don't want to. I'm afraid that just contemplating such a question may create a pact between you and the Devil. As if the question is just floating out there, an unsigned contract, and mere contemplation and decision would seal the deal. Hell no! Not me! And finally, I never contemplate suicide. There's just bad karma waiting around the bend on that one. Donald Miller is making me confront that first question... and I don't like it... but I'm sticking with it for now.
Am I stuck in some sort of adolescent stage as a result? Is my unwillingness to challenge my own belief in God mean that I am clinging to some Santa Claus ideal of God - some wish fulfillment fantasy? I don't think so. I am old enough to know now that God has some better things planned for me, but in terms of denseness, I make the original disciples look like super geniuses. God keeps having to beat my head against the wall to get me to learn anything ;) Or, rather, I should say, I keep beating my head against the wall and God continues to say, "Will, there is a better way, if you'd just listen to me."
Anyway, I look forward to chapter three where I'd better read these words, "Not believing in God wasn't a great idea..." or Donald Miller will have some serious explaining to do. And so will Andy for that matter... ;)
2 comments:
Stick with it. Blue Like Jazz is the Reader's Digest condensed version of his faith journey compared to Searching For God Knows What. This second book is a deepening of his faith journey.
I just know I'm not strong enough to resist the intellectual urge and I'm afraid that once I start down that path of discovery, I will never be able to find my way back to safe, normal thinking. That's exactly the path that the Enemy and his minions want to take - and if I recall - Miller addresses something similar in that book.
It is the appeal of Miller's writing - that he is so open about his questions, the same questions we all have on our journey. Confronting those questions ultimately makes us stronger. Yes, the testing continues!
If Miller aims to accomplish certain goals, then "to raise questions" has to be at the top of his list. He is an instigator with his writing.
It's good to keep in mind that not all questions are equally helpful to all people at all points in time. My advice: Just grapple with the ones that seem to actually relate.
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