More

I've been spending time these last couple of weeks thinking about my own needs. Not in the selfish way that I usually do, but in a philosophical way intended to better myself. I think my biggest problem is that I always want More. More money, more food, more happiness, more love. Isn't it the Bhuddists who say that all of our problems are created by not accepting things as they are? I don't really know. All I know is I want More Knowledge on the subject.

Emile Durkheim proposed a theory at the turn of the century that all religions speak to the desires of the society. The theory suggested that if a society wants law and order, the religion will promote just that. Its really hard to agree or disagree with the theory because as an American I have grown up in a poly-religious society. If I want a religion that promotes law and order, I can go find one. There is no one religion that we all belong to. But I have often thought that the single greatest flaw in this theory is how counter-intuitive Christianity is. We all strive to be first in everything - that is human nature - but Christ said, The Last shall be First and the First shall be Last. And I don't see a societal shift of everyone racing to be Last.

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be self-less - to take yourself completely out of the equation. I mean, think about that. What if you were to make every choice, and every decision, on the basis of what it would mean to other people? I'm not sure it can be done. I'm not sure that even Jesus did it. Even He stopped to feed himself from time to time. Even He didn't give all His possessions to the poor. Presumably He kept the clothes on His back and the sandals on His feet. But Christ did give everything for us. He sacrificed Himself for us. He took the whip for us. He took the flail for us. He took the Cross for us. Even though He knew He could stop it at any time. I'm not sure that I'd be anywhere near as good. I hate pain. I can't even stand to go hungry. I'd be broken a lot faster than three cock crows. I'd probably break after the second... or maybe the first.

So what does it mean to want More? What does it mean when you spend your entire life thinking about how you can do things that benefit you the most? Does it just mean you're human? Does it mean that you're trying to be the best you you can be? Or does it mean that you are not yet self-less? Or dare I say it, selfish? Is Greed a part of my daily life?

I don't know. I want to know more. I think we all do. I'm pretty sure that doesn't make me greedy. But I'll bet God is the judge of that.