World Weariness Sets In

I'm tired. Soul bending tired. Crushed down by the weight of a fallen world, I can barely rise against all that pressure, barely walk, barely stand.

Moments of my weekend life chose to lift me beyond the weariness - being able to see so many of my friends and family this weekend, eating a good meal, spending quality time with my brother. But others chose to highlight my weaknesses and my frailities - the old fears worn like a blanket, the new fears attaching themselves like ticks. It was enough to sap my strength during the high moments and drag me below the waves during the dark moments. I sputtered alot and drank a lot of sea water, and at times, I fell. So far. So far. The darkness engulfed me and there was no light, just the shadow of light from above.

Some days you feel like the straightforward account and some days you feel like poetry. Feelings are easier to describe with poetry. David knew this. He wrote psalm after psalm after psalm. And compared to him, my problems amount to little more than a hill of beans. They wouldn't nearly be so troublesome if they weren't so persistent. I suppose David never had to worry about mounting credit card debt, high gas prices, and how to finish a novel that seems to be taking its own sweet time. But then, I don't have to worry about someone consistently trying to kill me with an entire army. The small trade-offs in life make all the difference.

Oh, Lord,
Be a cool dark place
for resting my head.

When I am weary, Lord,
be a soft blanket
for my bed.

Soothe away the nightmares,
bring on the happy dreams,
awaken in me a powerful soul.

Let my snores be psalms,
and my dreams be prayers,
restore me to life, rested and whole.

For you are my Lord.
I am your servant.
Forever to be led.