Its not so much silence as it is keeping my mouth shut!

I have a lot to say.

But I'm not going to say it.

My inner dialogue has been growing increasingly frustrated over the past several weeks as one bad thing after another has been going on around me. Its like the near end of Pirates 3 where the bad guy is walking through a barrage of cannon shot in slow motion. Nothing seems to effect him - he seems lost in thought - as the world around him crumbles into fine splinters of nothing. That's kind of what I've been feeling like.

So, instead of a long litany of compaints that you could all probably guess at, I've decided to keep my mouth shut. Its not censorship. Its not even self-censorship. Its a melancholy boredom. The world sucks... but you've probably heard me say that a thousand times already and even I'm tired of hearing it.

I've been trying, instead, to concentrate on things of import. But my mood has only allowed me to find the faults in the things that I used to enjoy. Food - that's bad for you. Sex - pretty much a sin no matter what you do. Reading - such a waste of valuable time. Movies - they're all pretty much the same these days. Baseball - The Giants suck this year. Etc... I've absorbed so much poison from the toxic atmosphere that I can't seem to get it out of my system. Nothing tastes right anymore.

But this is Friday. Good, wonderful, delicious Friday! A weekend is upon us and a chance to rest, relax, and try to suck the poison from my system. I know God is watching out for me and that in Him there is a cure - but I'm afraid that my infected thinking may be dragged with me into His presence. I've had too much of the world lately. Stop the ride, I want to get off. But I can feel His hand out there in the darkness and I know that eventually I will be able to reach it and be pulled to safety.

Until then... the Giants really do suck! ;)