Friday, June 15, 2007

Will Almighty

Okay, I finally saw Bruce Almighty last night and it was annoying in parts and really touching in others. I thought Bruce was maybe a little too much of an archetype to really be believable, but it made for some effective storytelling. And when Bruce finally learns his lesson, I admit that it hit me pretty hard. But that's not what this blog is about.

It got me to think, what would I do if I had God's power for one day. And then I narrowed it down to what I would do if I had His power for one moment, one action, one "wish" so to speak.

And so, here, in no particular order are the "injustices" I would fix if I were embued with God's power for a moment...

1) I'd like to teach the world to drive. Can you imagine if suddenly everyone knew how to use their turn signals and be courteous?

2) I'd like to uninvent cell phones, and home video game consoles, and the last eight years of Republican rule.

3) I'd like the Giants to win a World Series in my lifetime (maybe just one of those biblical promises sort of things - a Isaiah like prophecy! And the Lord said, "Lo, the sun shall not set on Will Robison's life before the San Francisco Giants win the World Series!")

4)I'd make chocolate a cure for depression.

5) I'd allow some scientist to discover cold fusion with seawater in a matter that could never be perverted into a weapon of any kind.

6) I'd repopulate the world's oceans with fish.

7) I'd add a few mandatory religious holidays to the calendar.

8) I'd rewrite portions of the Bible to make it clear about my stance on telemarketers.

9) I'd find worthy parents for all orphans.

and, finally,

10) I'd send a small person sized meteorite down upon any Hollywood executive that suggested a classic movie be remade.

I'm not sure my movie would be all that interesting though. Just for curiosities sake on this Friday afternoon, what would you do if you had THE POWER for a few minutes?

1 comment:

Andy said...

If it were "Andy Almighty"....

1) Food would not make you fat, nor have high BP, nor high cholesterol, etc. Eat up...as much of it as you want!

2) The Boston Red Sox would have never traded Babe Ruth to the Yankees.

3) The San Francisco Chronicle, in its existing form, would never exist, and therefore, would never have found out about BALCO.

4) As a corollary to that, all illegal substances would never have been invented in the first place (for sports, anyway), and therefore HR chases and such would have remained pure. (Which also means that the single season HR record probably would still be 61...but that's for another day).

5) Kids would never get hurt playing Little League baseball, and therefore every kid would play!