Okay, so I don't know everything. And here I was thinking I was SOOOO smart. Apparently being a writer does not automatically make you some sort of religious Jeopardy champion. Apparently, when it comes to God, I know very little.
So I thought I'd play it smart - cut out the distractions, quit blogging for a while, maybe use that time in wise meditation on the true essence of a good book. What I didn't realize, however, was the fact that I needed all that clutter around my mind like some sort of literary human shield. You all were there to protect me from the inner workings of my sick and twisted mind, bashing away errant thoughts and allowing me to focus on the Novel that has become the small precious golden ring around my neck. Thoughts of midnight snacks - bashed away by discussions of Proustian logic in 2nd Corinthians. Lascivious desires for rock and roll stardom - bashed into the ground by the mere thought of the Toys R Us Kids Praise Song (I don't wanna grow up, I'm one of God's Kids...) Destructive depression of how much my book sucks - bashed into space by the thoughts of all my adoring writing fans (you know who you are - Sue ;) The fact is, my day dreams of winning the Oscar and announcing, "You like me! You really like me!" were fast changing into plaintive cries of, "Do you like me? Do you really like me?"
So, after a week of failed attempts to get my writing restarted, I've decided to rededicate my blog and start over again. It seems that God was up on his throne shaking his head at me for the past week saying, "That boy just doesn't get it! He never gets it! Just when I was about to let him get to the end of his novel, he decided to go it alone... again! That kid puts the I in independence. Okay - zap! - no more writing until he gets the message! May the words in his brain dry up faster than San Francisco support for the GOP Presidential Convention!" Okay, so I get it now. I need you guys. I need my Christian brothers and sisters. I love you all. Can I write now?
Actually, I had a thought this morning in prayer and it was so poetic I just thought I'd share it with you - not something I usually do in these private conversations with God, but considering my normal poetic abilities range somewhere on the cultural meter between Dukes of Hazard and Pauly Shore movies, I thought I'd try to get back into your good graces by plagarizing prayer.
I started by apologizing to God for not praying more often. My first thought was that I was too busy, but I knew that was just my brain lashing around for excuses. Of course, God was reading my heart like PG&E reads the gas meter. I could have talked til I was blue in the face, thrown every single excuse I'd ever invented at Him, but He knew the truth anyway. So, anyway, I was making up this excuse and I suddenly realized that I hadn't been praying enough because a) I was too wrapped up in my own little world, and b) My own little world was pretty damn lonely. And then I started to ask God to make me less lonely - ("preferably a red head" is usually the way the prayer goes ;) - when I realized that the reason I was lonely was because I had taken my own little world and wrapped it around me like a blanket to keep out the cold night. See, poetic. So I asked God to help me open my heart so that I could stop being so lonely - to let people in to my little world so that it could illuminate my darkened heart.
So, I guess I've learned a few things this week. One - I need the clutter of human interaction in order to write. Two - I need to pray more. Three - even a blind pig finds a poetic acorn once in a while. Four - Cap'n Andy gets to go to Hawaii a lot more than me, but I still lived there for three years, so ha! Five - Red heads are cool, but God is tired of that refrain. Six - I need to open up my heart and my life and let more people inside. And Seven - Did you know that the top luger on two-man luge has a seat to sit on? And that he's got a seatbelt to keep from sliding off the sled? Me neither.
Okay, so party in my heart. Bring chips, dip, beer, and single red headed female friends, and I'll provide the karaoke.
I don't wanna grow up, I'm one of God's kids,
I've got the best, and I'm so blessed,
It really flips my lid!
No bikes, no trains, no video games,
He's the biggest Lord there is! Gee whiz!
I don't wanna grow up, cause baby if I did,
I wouldn't be one of God's kids!
3 comments:
Brilliant post. You need to post the Toys R Us Praise Song over as a comment on my blog (since it is the definitive compilation).
As to Hawaii...yes, you lived there for 3 years, but it was on O'ahu, an island that's only 64 square miles larger than Kauai but has a population of 900,000 (not exactly "getting away from it all") as opposed to Kauai's 57,000 residents.
God called.
You listened.
Most excellent.
Hi Will,
I'm glad you need us because your blog has been exactly what I needed. There are few people who understand the conversations I have with Christians, except other Christians. I really missed my Bible Study meetings but you have been able to fill that void. It certainly can be lonely when I don't have that kind of interaction with other people... on a spiritual level. I think you interact with us so well, not only because you write well, but you are in touch with your spirit and the Holy Spirit touches you.
God bless you and keep writing. Glad you couldn't stay away.
Everyone - It's good to be back. I will have a new post later that will tell you just how good it is. Thank you for your comments. I really appreciate the support.
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