It Doesn't Get Any Better... A Square Peg Into A Round Hole Part Two

I really hated Jr. High. I attended a school far outside my "price range" starting in 1980. This was the time when fashion began to make an appearance in a child's dialog and I was never going to afford being one of the cool kids. But besides appearance as a dividing factor, social skills became increasingly important, and I didn't have the kind of cutthroat social skill set that makes all those cliche teenage TV shows so popular. I was the loner kid and after getting a taste of the "in-crowd" I discovered that I wanted nothing to do with them.

Its funny because Jr. High was such a productive time for me almost precisely because I wasn't part of any social group. I was able to develop my own unique story telling ability and voice because I wasn't being influenced by pop culture nor by peer pressure. But despite these productive gains in creativity, those three years were the years that I was tormented and bullied.

For the most part I was left alone, but that was because I preferred it that way. However, every time I was forced to interact with the rest of the class or with the teaching staff, I was mocked and ridiculed. I maintained my aloofness mostly because being part of the crowd was the fastest way to social destruction.

Three instances really stand out for me.

I was at lunch once bouncing my baseball into my Dad's baseball glove on the wall - a perfectly normal activity that can be done by oneself. Some kids came over and started messing with me and once they'd drawn me away from my baseball glove, they filled it with mustard. The next day, I found the same kids playing handball. I waited until the ball got loose, ran after it, picked it up and chucked it as far as I possibly could out of the school grounds. Instead of gaining respect, I got sent to detention.

Another time, we had a substitute teacher in English class and this guy saw that the other students didn't like me, so he started mocking me at the board. I didn't take this lying down either - I mocked him right back. Of course, the students wouldn't back me up, but I think I got in some pretty good licks on the "substitute teacher". Needless to say, I ended up in trouble.

On the final day of Jr. High, my teacher took the entire class to a local pizza parlor. Everyone was supposed to have a partner to split the cost of the pizza. None of my classmates wanted to be my partner. The teacher allowed them to form groups of three or four or five just to avoid being partners with me. SO, I went to the pizza parlor, ordered the extra large with everything on it, and ate the entire thing in front of my class. My Dad wasn't pleased when I didn't bring home any change, but it was so worth it to get my just desserts. I should add that I was skinny as a rail back then, so no, I wasn't being irresponsible with my diet.

I, of course, focus on the bullying moments where I fought back - but there were many moments where I either couldn't fight back nor where I had the energy to fight back. I couldn't stay out of the crosshairs of an entire student body for too long. I felt their bullying constantly and there was nothing I could do to change it.

The main effect of all this is that if ever there had been a moment where I could have come out of my awkward inner phase and become one of the Us's of the World, I would have had to join those very people that were making my life a living hell. Those kids were all the driven world beaters whose parents could afford to give them whatever the hell they wanted to have. Though I was every bit their intellectual and creative equals, I could never match their lifestyle and, as a result, I was never going to be accepted into their world.

I ended up coming out of Jr. High not only hating every single student that had tormented me, but also the entire system of education that had allowed such bullying to occur. The only thing I had learned for the three years of Jr. High that I had been forced to attend was how to endure and survive on my own. While useful as a skill, as a social building exercise, this tended to make my default setting - retreat to the bunker of my mind. I had been forced to live in my own mind for so long, I preferred it to real life.

But then, I got to High School and something dramatically changed all that... in Part Three.

It Doesn't Get Any Better... A Square Peg Into A Round Hole Part One

Earlier this week I finally realized what it was that drove me nuts about all these YouTube videos proclaiming that life gets better for the victims of bullies - they're not true. It doesn't get any better. Or, at least, it might not get better for you.

Most of the reason that this is true is because people tend to fall into one of two categories throughout most of their lives - Us and Them. Depending on whether you're an Us or a Them at any particular point in your personal journey is the determining factor of whether you'll be bullied. Us's like people that belong to their category and are generally intolerant of Them's. Them's can't figure out why the Us's hate them and wouldn't know how to change to become an Us even if it were possible. Us's bully Them's. As pretty much everyone in their life goes through a Them cycle, you probably know what bullying is all about. But as you discover that you don't like being one of Them, you join Us, and the bullying stops. But not everyone joins Us. Some people remain Them no matter what. For Them, there is no end to the bullying they endure.

I have almost always been one of Them - you know, the weird kid that marches to his own set of drums. I remember in Kindergarten quickly surmising that I was pretty darn smart. I was easily ahead of the rest of the class on the learning curve - so much so that I pulled back, lest I get too far ahead. I enjoyed having friends and being the smart kid meant that I didn't have friends. But there wasn't a whole lot that I couldn't figure out on my own.

Throughout grade school I was able to associate with the smart kids in school. But unlike them, I didn't excel in my education. In turning away from education and learning as a goal in and of itself, my mind found the world of fantasy and make-believe to play around in. I often tell of the creation of my first story. We were supposed to write a paragraph about Halloween. I spent four hours and wrote ten pages. I had to be forced outside to join the rest of the kids in the Halloween parade, and I asked to take the story home so that I could finish it.

I loved to spend time in that fantasy world battling aliens and monsters, ghosts, spies, etc... But, as you can imagine, this made me the weird kid. I was aware of other kids at the school, but after third grade when all of my friends moved on to private schools, I was stuck in a classroom with nothing to interest me and no friends to keep me grounded in what was cool. I went off on tangents and became less and less connected to education and the things that all other grade school kids were interested in.

I wasn't quite bullied yet, unless you count loneliness as a form of bullying. I had "friends" but I didn't really have anyone to talk to. They were all going off into things like cars or girls or comics and I was lost in my fantasy world. I began to run not only as a form of exercise but also because it was the one sport I could do where I got to spend all of this time just thinking up things.

Of course, that all changed when I got to Jr. High... but that's up for discussion next time.

Thoughts in search of a well-thought out essay...

I am not a crackpot, but this is definitely a crackpot idea... unless, I'm on to something here.

These thoughts were prompted by two things. 1) During an excellent 9/11 sermon given at my church by First Responder Chaplain, Toby Nelson, who worked at Ground Zero, Katrina, and other places, he mentioned one thing that I'd never put my finger on but that definitely had the ring of truth about it. He said, "While I watched the planes crashing into the buildings again and again and again, I found that I was getting more agitated every time I watched." And 2) I just saw a headline for a "News" video that said, "WATCH: A man gets naked before breaking into a store." And I really had to wonder, "Who would want to watch something like that?"

So, here, in a nutshell, is my crackpot idea...

Is the Internet, Satan?

I offer these points of comparison. 1) Both lie. Incessantly. Or tell the truth in such a shade of lie as to mislead and misrepresent. 2) Both show us things we want to have and want to believe and makes it easy for us to obtain these things - none of which bring us happiness. 3) Both, by their very existence, stir up trouble. 4) Both tempt us to do and say things we'd never have done before. 5) The world is definitely more agitated because of their existence.

Now, normally I'd argue that the same could be said about any form of mass-communication. But can it? Certainly books, when they were introduced, caused a stir - but not nearly to the level that the internet has and in such a quick and dangerous way.

Would you agree that since the internet first appeared on the scene back in the early 90's, that the world has gotten steadily worse?

Anyway, I will leave this thought at this stage of its development. If any wish to take up my lance and attack this particular windmill, I shall be happy to join your quest.

The Eighth Samurai

We join our story halfway through the first act...

We have just seen the seven samurai graduating from samurai college. They are a happy bunch - before the inevitable downfalls that will lead them to the beginning of the story that we know as Akira Kurosawa's Seven Samurai. But in this blockbuster prequel with the explosions and heavy special effects all shot in 3-D and tons of extra bonus features on the Blu Ray DVD (plus don't forget the teaser for the sequel to be found at the end of the 30 minute long credits) our master director has decided to add an edgy twist - Chris Tucker is The Eighth Samurai.

And it doesn't matter that he's black... and that he's spouting off stupid American ghetto hip-hop slang... this is 18th century Thailand (it was cheaper to film the prequel there, so they changed the story too) and anything goes in 18th Century Thailand. So as our 8 samurai warriors prepare the school for battle with environmentally unfriendly and immigration hating corporate Thai bad guys with thick Russian accents who all look like rejects from the WWE for some reason, we get to hear the montage accompanied by the latest Rap Star combo pack - P-Nut Enima and Slo-Slice.

But here is where it gets bad... the director couldn't leave well-enough alone. No, he had to dub in a few words that completely changed the meaning of the scene. And he had the samurai fire first. Stupid bad director.

I'm going to complain about this, but to be a completist, I will have to pre-order my DVD/BluRay combo pack with the extra toy inside.

I just wish that Hollywood knew how to run their business. They're going to go bankrupt at this rate.

Mammon

Why does money and power always corrupt? I find that even if you try to have a perfectly sane and normal conversation about money or power, eventually the worst nature of all human beings comes out - on either side of the debate.

I have said things here in the past two posts that I truly believe. But in saying these things, I may have hurt a fellow brother in Christ. I don't know why its hard to have a debate without it devolving into pain and recrimination, but I do know that that was never my intent.

Still, I find it hard to drop the subject. I don't know what part of my ego insists that I am right and that others are wrong, but if that part of my ego is causing pain in others, I need to shut it down. It should have no place in my life.

I recently took over as the Head of the Stewardship Committee at my Church with the one personal caveat that I would be certain this committee did not engage in Church politics. I have seen the corrupting influence it can have on Church committee's even when everyone on the committee is well-intentioned. I suppose I should add that such a mixture of politics and finances in my own life can also have a corrupting influence.

Therefore, I am hereby declaring an end to the discussion of politics and money from now on here at this blog. Neither right wing nor left wing - I shall remain flightless from here on out.

Rebuttal

Why Taxing the Rich Is Good for America

By Loren Berlin Posted 10:30AM 08/24/11 Columns, Economy, People, Taxes

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Last week, Warren Buffett wrote an incredible opinion piece in The New York Times asking the federal government to raise taxes on the wealthiest Americans, himself included. "My friends and I have been coddled long enough by a billionaire-friendly Congress," he argued. "It's time for our government to get serious about shared sacrifice."

Buffett's editorial sent economists and politicians into a frenzy as they debated the merits and implications of his request. Underlying the chatter is an important question: Does our country benefit, financially, from taxing our wealthiest citizens?

According to Bruce Bartlett, who's held senior policy roles in both Ronald Reagan's and George H. W. Bush's administrations, as well as on the staffs of Reps. Ron Paul and Jack Kemp, "in 2008, those in the top 1 percent of the income distribution, with incomes over $380,000, had an effective tax rate of 23.3 percent. In 1986, a year when the real gross domestic product grew a healthy 3.5 percent, their effective tax rate was 33.1 percent. It has been much lower every year since."

Bartlett, who culled Internal Revenue Service data for his analysis, which appears this week in his New York Times column, goes on to say: "If this group were still paying 33.1 percent, federal revenue would have been more than $166 billion higher in 2008 alone. That would be enough to reduce the budget deficit by about 10 percent this year. If the top 1 percent of taxpayers had continued to pay the same effective tax rate they paid in 1986 every year from 1987 to 2008, the federal debt today would be $1.7 trillion lower."

While Bartlett acknowledges the assumptions implicit in his calculations, the bottom line is clear. America has lost boatloads of money thanks to our willingness to cut taxes on those who can most easily afford to pay them. This despite our country's history of successfully taxing the rich. Under Reagan, for example, the richest 1% of Americans paid one-third of their income to the federal government.

Between High European Taxes and Low U.S. Rates, a Happy Medium

Those who argue against higher taxes often fear that an increase will slow economic growth. But history dispels that myth. As William G. Gale, an expert on tax policy at the nonpartisan Brookings Institution, wrote on CNN.com, "Even the massive tax increases during and after World War II -- amounting to a permanent rise of 10% to 15% of gross domestic product -- and the much smaller tax increases in 1990 and 1993 did no discernible damage to U.S. economic growth."

The debate over whether and how much to tax the rich isn't new. But it's extremely important in the current economy. The debt ceiling deal reached earlier this month includes spending cuts, but does nothing to increase revenues. Additionally, the spending cuts come primarily from programs that support low- and middle-income households. The richest Americans? They're virtually exempt from chipping in to resolve the nation's budget problems.

Which is why Buffett is publicly asking to pay more in taxes -- and why he's right. After all, "households in the top 1% of the distribution can afford to contribute," argues Gale. "They have done enormously well during the past 30-plus years. In 1979, their income accounted for 10% of total income. According to the most recent data (from 2008), their share of total household income more than doubled to 21%. In contrast, real income for middle-class workers has remained roughly constant over the same time frame."

In his opinion piece, Gale outlines a variety of options for raising taxes. In all cases, he's advocating for moderation. "None of this means that the U.S. needs to move to European taxation levels," he writes. "But between the depleted tax revenues we raise now -- the lowest share of the economy in six decades -- and the high taxes experienced in European countries, there is plenty of room to raise revenues in an economically sound manner to support a reasonable level of government."

Or, to put it more bluntly, our country is in the throes of a debt crisis. We're delusional to think that we can continue with the current tax rates. So let's stop asking whether or not we should raise taxes on the rich and instead turn our attention to how we can most effectively do so.

Loren Berlin is a reporter with the AOL Huffington Post Media Group. She can be reached at loren.berlin@teamaol.com, on Twitter at @LorenBerlin, and on Facebook.

See full article from DailyFinance: http://srph.it/nWl920

If I Was President... (completely disregarding the way politics actually works)

I had some good ideas over the weekend, and I thought I'd pass them along to whoever is listening out there. Hopefully, someone will listen and together we can solve all of our countries problems PDQ! So, here goes...

1) Solving the Immigration/Afghanistan/Economic Problems In One Fell Swoop - First, you grant amnesty to all of the illegal immigrants in this country. Deadline: April 1st, 2012. All illegals in this nation have to apply with weight granted to those who have been here the longest (wait for it...) In addition to place of birth, etc, we collect information on how they've been surviving here in this country (I.E. Who's been paying them and keeping them employed). On April 2nd, we close the borders. Anyone caught sneaking into the United States after that will be dealt with thusly - they will be sent to a detention camp, they will be treated nicely, then they will be loaded on to a plane and flown to Afghanistan. Not to fight, mind you, but just to be deported. Since Afghanistan doesn't share a border with the US, they will not return to this country. AND, as a bonus, an influx of illegal immigrants into Afghanistan will likely overwhelm the country and drive the Taliban out as that country implodes from all the extra mouths to feed. End of war. Two problems solved.

On May 1st, the IRS will be handed all of the information collected from the formerly illegal immigrants and asked to collect back taxes from not only the new citizens, but also from all the people that employed them. Fines for late fees, unfiled tax forms, and lying on official paperwork will be assessed, but jail time will not be required. That should fill our coffers and also replenish all the money we spent on 50 million non-tax paying freeloaders. Two more problems solved.

2) Dealing with my Republican Counterparts and Compromising On Fiscal Philosophy - I don't agree with the Republicans that rich people shouldn't pay their fair share of taxes because they need that money to create jobs, but I'm willing to compromise a solution.

First, we set the new tax standards on all corporations to a REALLY high percentage (like say close to 50%). Then, and this is the important part, we allow for the taxes to be lowered permanently based upon the current US jobless rate. We tie the lower amount to an attainable goal (say 5% jobless rate) and so long as the jobless rate remains that amount, the corporate taxes shall be at their lowest rate. Incentive: Create Jobs to Get Good Tax Rates. And if they try to just pocket the money, or ship jobs overseas, the tax rate soars and the government then has the funds to make sure the safety nets remain funded. Two More Problems Solved.

3) It's time we abolish WHOM from the English language. Nobody can darn well remember whether its whom or who that they're supposed to say. And really, in what other context is whom even a word? Its like someone added that letter M just to confuse people, or, dare I say it, its a conspiracy amongst English Teachers to keep their jobs!

(As an addendum... Obama shouldn't receive any credit for Libya if Democrats aren't also going to hand Bush credit for Iraq. In both cases, the President got us involved in a conflict that we really didn't need to be involved in and in both cases neither President really did anything substantial to bring about the end of the conflict. Kudos to Obama for at least keeping our ground troops out of the fight.)

There are some things you don't jinx...

So, in a nutshell, here's what happened.

My Dad went in for a routine check-up, which prompted some tests, which lead to an angioplasty, which revealed the need for a bypass operation. This all literally happened over the course of a couple of weeks. Now, my Dad is generally very healthy. He wasn't really having too many symptoms and he wasn't really in much danger - except of course that he could have a coronary at any moment. So, it was decided to do the operation.

Now my Dad tends to be extremely private when it comes to things like this. He didn't really want the news getting out far and wide. So, I didn't spread the news. I kept it to myself. But there was a second reason I didn't pass it on. I was extremely confident that he was going to be okay.

Don't get me wrong. I didn't leave you all out of the loop because I didn't feel like you needed to know. On the contrary, I really wanted to tell someone. But combined with this "knowledge" that he was going to be okay, was this real fear that I didn't want to jinx it. Something told me to keep my mouth shut. So I did. And he's all right. So... there's that.

Its easy to say that its childish to be superstitious about things, but I never said I knew exactly how the universe works. If a butterfly can cause a hurricane, who knows what an errant comment can change? Loose lips sink ships, why can't they also reverse the outcome of surgery?

Anyway, my Dad is recovering. I am extremely grateful for all the prayers that found their way here. Please don't feel that I left you out of anything on purpose. I really just didn't want to jinx the outcome. And I'm glad my Dad is fine.

Marvin Mudpie Will Return

I used to love sitting through the end of a James Bond movie credits just to see those words at the end, "James Bond Will Return". To me it meant continuity but also made me excited for further adventures.

Now, my own ne'er-do-well spy, Marvin Mudpie, hasn't had quite as much luck. Started as a collaboration with Ian Thriters, Marvin Mudpie's first book, "Dunebreaker" was completed in 1984. His second adventure, "Stilleto," was completed the following year. Since then there have been about four short stories written and one mini-series that explored his origins. He also was a co-star in the Bimbotech saga, but we'll ignore that for now. Mudpie has been largely absent around these parts for 11 years.

This points out the answer to the question about how do I get my ideas. For some stories, I can force an answer. If the story needs a mundane solution to a mundane problem, I just think one up. But for other characters or stories, there is never anything mundane about them, and you have to wait for a story idea to pop into your head.

Well, POP! I had a DOOZY of an idea on Sunday on my way to church. It still makes me chuckle even now. It came out of the clear blue and let's just say that it will finally answer all of your questions about our debt crisis and who is behind the last few years of economic unrest - while presenting our hero, Marvin Mudpie, with his greatest villain yet!

But the thing is, I don't ever plan for a Mudpie story. I had probably written him off as a hero a while back. 11 years is a long time to go between stories. And yet, there are some story ideas that can only be handled by this master spy. As soon as the idea occurred to me, I KNEW it was a Mudpie story.

So, now I have to cram yet another story idea onto my very full plate. Don't expect it anytime soon. You won't see the first chapter of this story until the middle of September on the newly revised TAC website. Until then, remember that old spies never die, they just become plumbers.

Health

I fleetly flee, I fly
on fantastical feet
no more defeat, repleat
with life, my legs cry

no more with pain
I embrace my joy
like a spinning toy
the world to gain

I walk, gambol
dance with passion
toes - try not to mash on
liberty for my soul

When its gone
and all that
leg is fat
like a cat
chair I sat
the world flat
full of chat
SCAT!
I weigh a ton.

It's come back
my knee healed
my heart revealed
a lack, I lack

Soaring
no longer snoring
forget boring
on the dance flooring!

I'M FREE!

So now this curse
is set in verse
And it is time
To end this rhyme.

There's A New Blog A'Comin...

I can't believe it took me THIS long to figure out what to do with all this vast and completely useless Disney Knowledge in my head. Seriously, I've been trying to figure out the best use for all this stuff for years now. It's probably the one thing that I study more seriously than film or writing or anything else and I've never had an outlet for all this knowledge. Most of the cool Disney info is out there already and I didn't want to be just another ME TOO! But the somewhat obvious answer hit me over the weekend.

You see, I've been pestering my family for years. Before every WDW trip I've done a countdown leading up to the day of travel. I would write a little blurb about some aspect of our trip - a paragraph or two about a hotel, attraction, restaurant, etc... - and then I would e-mail it to my family. I've kept these past countdowns with the idea that for my next trip, I wouldn't have to write them all from scratch. So, as I was thinking about starting up the new Countdown for my next trip in December, it occurred to me that what I had was the start of a really good idea for a blog - A Daily Disney reminder.

So that's what I'm going to do - a Disney Blog that, quite frankly, is designed to make me happy. I get to expound my Disney knowledge and if people read it, even better. I need a little time to get this up and running, so don't expect anything for a week or two. But I'll let you all know when it's ready.

Playing with the big boys

Dear Congress Person:

My new E-Bay business has fallen on hard times and I need your help to secure TARP money to continue forward. So far, I have managed one sale. But of my four other bids, all are failing. Prior to 2008, I didn't have a single E-Bay sale failure. This is a new thing for me.

Recently, I voted to give myself a one million dollar bonus. As you can see, with the economy stuck in the toilet like it is, I probably won't be able to afford that bonus and continue to operate my business. But I need myself to keep this business running and since I'd probably end up leaving this company if I don't receive the bonus, it is imperative that this bonus be honored and that there still be enough capital funds to keep my business afloat.

Therefore, I am asking for a loan of $2,000,000 of TARP money to keep my E-Bay business afloat and to still be able to give my employee the bonus that he deserves. Since this amount is just a drop in the bucket for the TARP money, I suspect that approval should be forthcoming in a timely manner. I await your funding and your response.

Sincerely,

Will Robison
A Tax Paying American Citizen That Is Too Big To Fail

Tea Party For One

Do not feel sorry for me. I am broke.

As of Friday, I discovered that I had maxed out one of my two remaining credit cards. (One, unfortunately, was shut down on me as a result of economic downturn. I had plenty of credit on that card and was easily making my payments, but the company just decided to shut down my account - mostly because I think they were close to bankruptcy at the time). Now, I've never maxed out a credit card before. Suddenly realizing that one half of your credit is gone shines a light on the fact that the party is over. And now that the booze are gone, it's time to tell the freeloading guests to go home. When I get into this situation where belt-tightening is called for, my radical brainless side comes out and I start my own little slash and burn tea party for one.

What does that mean? I'm going cold turkey. No more spending. Period. End of story. No donations. No dutch treats. No treats. No movies. No books. No nothing. If it ain't free, it ain't me.

Oh sure, some bills I don't have any option over. I still need gas and car payments and insurance and stuff. And those pesky credit cards still need to get paid. But don't ask me out for dinner any time soon (unless you want to pay) and don't expect me to be knowledgeable on current movies after this weekend. Cold Turkey! It's not just for the day after Thanksgiving anymore...

I could give you 100 different reasons for being in this situation, but the truth of the matter is, I saw this iceberg coming a long ways off and I didn't turn from it. I kept hoping that it would shrink or the current would push it aside, but that iceberg kept coming. Well, it finally hit me. And I'm finally taking on water faster than I can bail it out. I'm not ready to man the lifeboats just yet, but I am starting to sink.

Nope. I have no money. Reality has not just settled in, it's foreclosed on me. I have no choice but to stop spending money.

Of course, if there's a silver lining to all this (one that's not easily removed and sold on E-Bay that is) its that now I have a lot of time to spend getting projects done. My novel will no longer languish from a lack of attention and other projects will get the time they deserve as well. So... good timing, I guess.

Reasons for my absence

I thought I'd end my month long silence here by detailing all the profound thoughts I've had over the last month. So here goes...

(Chirp... chirp... cricket... cricket...)

It's hard to write a blog when you don't really have anything to say. That's been an ongoing trend in my life of late - a move to silence. It's as if I've already thought all the profound things I'm ever going to think. I'm the new target demographic for the Boob Tube... emphasis on Boob. I've simply run out of things to say.

Now, I might be tempted to just call it quits, to hang up the old pen and go quietly into that good night. But I don't have any good ideas about how I might do that, so instead I think I'll just fade away - like an after-image on a black holes event horizon. I'm already gone, crushed, and turned into so many exotic particles, but you still see me here - a comfortable presence - and wonder as I slowly shift red in my old age how I can linger without taking the final plunge.

Or maybe I'm just waiting until I get older and can start writing blog entries about how kids these days don't know the first darn thing about music, or respecting their elders, or life in general. They're disrespectful and rude and they ought to be seen and not heard - like it was when I was their age and I had to walk uphill both ways through the snow to get to school, barefoot, and then work 20 hours straight at the mill afterwords... God, I hope I never get that old.

Or perhaps, I'm just not cool enough to have blog entries. I don't get to go on these great hiking adventures every other day and take tons of pictures.

Or maybe I'm just lazy. I may not be taxing myself enough. Perhaps I feel as if I've been taxed enough and that, for once, maybe the rich people should have the burden of being taxed.

Yeah, that's it... I'm just waiting for a rich person to take over and start writing my blog for me. It's time they pulled their weight around here.

WHAT... EVAH!

I'm out...

until I think of something else to write.

A Strong-Arming Saint of The Lord

There is a little old lady at my church who is neither little, nor old, despite her diminutive size and 80 plus years of age. She still tap dances. She still runs an annual show to raise funds for veterans and she sells poppies on both Memorial Day and Veteran's Day. She is also a great supporter of my step-mom's school, helping out with a program there called The Graham Cracker Fairy. But beyond all that, this church saint is also a master at strong-arming people into doing the Lord's work.

Case in point.

This weekend, my step-mom received a call from this saint. She had been in a darling boutique where they sold children's clothing and was so enamored of the wonderful outfits that she asked the owner if she had any clothes they were giving away - for the children at my step-mom's school. She had arranged for one or two bags of clothes to be picked up on Sunday and all my step-mom had to do was show up and pick them up.

Now school gets out this week, so my step-mom was a bit hesitant, but our dear church saint wouldn't take no for an answer. So my step-mom made arrangements to pick up the clothes.

On Sunday, she shows up at the little boutique and finds a half dozen people standing outside waiting for her to arrive. They are each carrying two or three bags full of children's clothes. My step-mom is shocked. She was expecting a couple of bags at most. She gets out of the car and asks the first person where she can find the church lady. The guy gives her a blank look, "Who?" "The woman who gave you the clothes?" "Oh... she's over in the parking lot."

So my step-mom goes over to the parking lot and discovers that this little old lady has figured out a way to block all of the cars in the parking lot from leaving. She has then asked each driver to help her carry the clothes over to my step-mom's car before being allowed to drive away. Six perfect strangers help my step-mom load more than a dozen bags of children's clothes into her car - just so they'll be allowed to drive away.

I'd like to say that this is one-time only behavior, but I'm afraid not. If this wonderful saint of our church asked a mountain if it could please help her by moving ten feet to the right, the mountain would get up and move ten feet to the right and would feel good about doing it. Some saints are just like that.

And deliver us from evil...

I am of two opinions about the death of Osama Bin Laden. My first opinion is very much along the same lines as the one expressed by Andy Lie over at A Mile From The Beach. This is no time to gloat. We killed Osama and we should be humbled at his death and not boastful. My second opinion, however, is a little more in keeping with what we're seeing on the news. I think both of my opinions are justified - one by faith and the other by unfortunate reality.

My second opinion was earned through that toughest of schools - life experience - and it speaks to what is probably the most human and base interests inside me. I am a pacifist at heart. I believe that some of the most profound words ever spoken were those of the poet and prophet Rodney King, "Can't we all get along?!" But during my time in the Navy and particularly during my years in Naval Intelligence I learned that the unfortunate answer to that question is, "No. Not yet."

You see, there are bad people out there. Evil really does exist. And these people will not accept any other fate than their own destruction. I don't hate them. I pity them. But at the same time, I accept their demise and rejoice when it happens. Why? Because we will never have peace on this world while evil of that sort is allowed to continue. It must be stamped out, hard, and quickly in every case for peace to reign.

After 9/11 I waited for the other shoe to drop. I knew that a man like Osama Bin Laden would not stop until he had achieved his goal of as many American deaths as possible. And so I waited for bad things to happen - more 9/11 attacks, more USS Cole's, more embassy bombings, and maybe worse things - dirty bombs, back pack Nukes, biological or chemical attacks. Bin Laden's only restraints, it seemed, were money and access to weapons of mass destruction.

Truth be told, I was terrified of what a mad man like Osama was capable of doing and that was why I was so terribly upset with "W" and his stupid attack on Iraq. Saddam was a putz. It was like Batman decided to go after a jaywalker while the Joker was running loose in Gotham. The guy we really needed to run to ground was Osama. We needed to stomp on him and end his threat sooner, not later - which was a lesson I think we learned in the aftermath of the Mission: Accomplished speech. We might have toppled Saddam, but the real threat was still Al Qaeda and Bin Laden.

And so, in the end, we have finally killed Bin Laden and while I know that the threat isn't completely gone, it has lost a lot of its heart. Killing Bin Laden will not end the War on Terror, but the War on Terror could not end while he was still alive. I will rejoice in the man's death because I can breath a little easier now. There is a little less evil in the world - there is one less threat to my survival and to the survival of the human race.

So while I sat at home last night visibly upset at all the posturing and shouts of USA USA, deep down inside of me I could distinctly hear myself saying in a low voice, "WE GOT THAT C***S***ER! Thank God!" And those are my two opinions on this matter.

Blow'd Up!

Once again, I was trying to repair myself through long lists of things to do. And it was working. I was eating right (sort of). Exercising correctly (sort of). I was watching my dollars and getting my tasks done (sort of). I was flying high... or so I thought.

In the back of my mind, there were doubts. While I had started the list of foods that I was eating so that I could start eating better foods, I discovered that 1000 calories of salad was the same as 1000 calories of Big Mac - and who wouldn't rather eat a Big Mac? And the same with hiking. 5 hours of hiking over tough mountains and rocks was the same as 5 hours walking through a mall. And it was easy to justify a few bucks for a book when I hadn't spent hardly any money in a week and if I broke down my jobs into the smallest increments, I could check a job off my list after a mere five minutes work and then reschedule the rest of the job for the next day. Yeah... I was using my lists to slack off.

Not too ironically, if you've paid any attention whatsoever to the way God works, I was doing EXACTLY what the Israelites were doing for hundreds of years in Judea and Israel. God laid out a list of laws and tasks and said, "Follow these and you'll be just fine." And the Israelites followed the laws, sort of, and did all the tasks, kind of, that God laid out for them. What God wanted them to do was to embrace the laws and embrace the tasks and to do things whole heartedly for God and for themselves - what they did was the minimum whenever possible, and even less more often than not. They changed the laws and tasks to the point where they no longer came anywhere close to the ones that God had given them - and then they ignored the new laws and tasks anyway.

So what did God do? He blewed up the laws and tasks! Blewed dem Sky High!

In my case, God sent an infection to my leg. What happened? All of my lists and tasks and everything were completely thrown out the window. My schedule, my diet, everything... just completely thrown out. I found myself lying in bed and back at square one - wondering whether to start over with lists and schedules and things, or whether I should just embrace the spirit behind the lists and schedules and things and get my life changed without all the written checklists.

But for the Israelites, God did something even more devious and completely awesome. He sent Jesus. And Jesus threw out all the schedules and laws and tasks. He fulfilled them. He told the Israelites that if they really wanted to be closer to God like they'd been trying to do with all the laws and prophets, then they needed to become close to Him. Simple. Follow me and I will be the way for you. There is no law to follow, no prophet to listen to, no test, no record keeping, no lawyer that will keep you safe - just do as I've done, and you will find yourself close to God.

You know it's funny... the more things change, the more they stay the same. Time to move on and start over again. Only this time, I'm going to do it right.

The Long Roller Coaster

It feels like I've been down this road before. I am weary and tired and ready to just kick my feet up and relax until I realize that I've only just started.

I finished my synopsis for my novel... again... last night. This is a process that I began on my first novel that never saw the light of day. The story was entirely too complicated to keep it all in my head, so I began by writing down a synopsis of each and every chapter - working through the novel in such a way that I knew I wouldn't encounter any roadblocks while writing it. It took me two drafts of that before I was able to start writing my novel - a process that lasted nearly five years before I gave up the whole enterprise as being flawed from the outset.

Live and learn.

Or did I? No, for my second novel I finally decided to start working on my magnum opus time travel saga. Lanz Franco, to me, was going to be a story where I crammed in every time travel idea I'd ever had and yet somehow managed to make it fun and thrilling - like Indiana Jones with time travel. The somehow managed part was the bit that made me realize I needed to write a synopsis first. Doing all those mental gymnastics of cause and effect and effect and cause that only time travel stories can really play with and still trying to keep the story about a character who is in love with his wife... well, that kept me up at nights - plugging away on a synopsis.

After nearly a year of working on the time travel story I finally figured out how to make it work - but the story was so complex that I realized I would have to spread out the complexity over three books. So, as soon as I finished one synopsis I went to work writing the next two synopsees. And finally, after a year and a half, I had all three books in synopsis form and was ready to start.

For nearly a year I toiled on the novel and it was coming along just fine... until I reached the half way point. And then, casually, I realized that I needed to figure out this character's origin story so that I knew his background a little more. So I started thinking about this character's origin and... well... I realized that his origin was WAY better than the story I was writing and that it really illuminated the entire time travel saga. SOOO, painfully, I decided to scrap the story I was working on and go back and write this character's origin story as my first book.

Of course, this meant coming up with another synopsis. And then to add complexity to my madness, I realized during the writing of this synopsis that I needed two more books to bridge the gap between the origin story and the trilogy of stories that I already had synopsized. Six books in all.

Ugh! BUT the good news is that I am finally done with the first synopsis of the first book and it doesn't need to be rewritten and it only took me about two and half months to complete.

So tomorrow, I begin writing my first novel... again... and hopefully, this time, it sticks!

P.S. I should have learned guitar and written a number one Country Song, "Mama, Don't Let Your Baby Grow Up To Be A Science Fiction Writer."

Did I get my money's worth?

I was just watching the amazing footage from Kenya that I received from the Kenya Mission Group's latest journey. They returned to Kenya in February and resumed their relationships with our partners in Meru. Going along for the ride vicariously, I sent along my video camera to capture more footage so that we might continue telling our story through film. But after watching the footage, I couldn't help but start to think about the amazing investment this camera has been. Below is just a partial list of all the places and events where this camera has taken video...

Chicago (twice), Detroit, Toronto, Montreal, Cooperstown, Rochester, Cleveland, the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics (2002 Games), Philadelphia, Gettysburg, Washington D.C., New York, Boston, Goffstown, Salem, Orlando (twice), Boise and Challis, ID (three times), Las Vegas, Anaheim, Juneau, Sitka, Ketchikan, Vancouver, Victoria, Marysville, Brookville, Nairobi and Meru (twice)... and countless hikes (Yosemite, Big Basin, Castle Rock, Dipsea, Boot Jack, Mt. Diablo, Pinnacles) and other events (Sister's graduation from law school, etc...)

I guess it's safe to say that I did get my money's worth... and for a Scot, that's all I can ask.

No one is watching...

I am by myself at work. There is a big tray of chocolate right across from my desk and absolutely nobody is watching. I could dash over there and have one... or two... of four. Nobody can stop me and nobody would be the wiser.

That ultimately is the problem with will-power. It is a struggle against invisible forces. The only restriction that occurs is the one in my head. I can justify that short walk a million different ways. I know. I have. And I've forgotten the number of times I've broken down and given in to those few steps of invisible restraint. It doesn't make me a better person for going over there, it doesn't make me a worse. It just means that it takes me longer to get to where I want to go. A stumble. A detour around a large rock - a large invisible rock that I just made for myself. My path becomes rockier and rockier the more failures I have. I am being bled to death by paper cuts.

So, no chocolate for me. Not now anyway. My path remains straight, my walk steady. But I see a lot of stumbling blocks in the road ahead. If only I had a lamp to light my way.