The Eighth Samurai

We join our story halfway through the first act...

We have just seen the seven samurai graduating from samurai college. They are a happy bunch - before the inevitable downfalls that will lead them to the beginning of the story that we know as Akira Kurosawa's Seven Samurai. But in this blockbuster prequel with the explosions and heavy special effects all shot in 3-D and tons of extra bonus features on the Blu Ray DVD (plus don't forget the teaser for the sequel to be found at the end of the 30 minute long credits) our master director has decided to add an edgy twist - Chris Tucker is The Eighth Samurai.

And it doesn't matter that he's black... and that he's spouting off stupid American ghetto hip-hop slang... this is 18th century Thailand (it was cheaper to film the prequel there, so they changed the story too) and anything goes in 18th Century Thailand. So as our 8 samurai warriors prepare the school for battle with environmentally unfriendly and immigration hating corporate Thai bad guys with thick Russian accents who all look like rejects from the WWE for some reason, we get to hear the montage accompanied by the latest Rap Star combo pack - P-Nut Enima and Slo-Slice.

But here is where it gets bad... the director couldn't leave well-enough alone. No, he had to dub in a few words that completely changed the meaning of the scene. And he had the samurai fire first. Stupid bad director.

I'm going to complain about this, but to be a completist, I will have to pre-order my DVD/BluRay combo pack with the extra toy inside.

I just wish that Hollywood knew how to run their business. They're going to go bankrupt at this rate.