Not five minutes ago, I walked normally for the first time in weeks. I walked about thirty feet before my knee buckled out of fatigue. At least I think I'm past the point of lasting repercussions every time my knee buckles. Right now, I just need to re-strengthen the muscles that keep me walking, going up and down stairs, etc... Its a constant battle between doing what I want to do and doing what I can. If I overdo it, I might relapse and be right back to hobbling around again.
When I left Kenya, I had every intention of taking a short recuperation period then jumping in with both feet and doubling my efforts to help our partners there. But after returning, I discovered that I was hobbled by previous injuries. Every time I got started, some new source of pain seemed to hop up and drag me back down to where I had been before I left. In my fight to help the people of Kenya, I face a constant battle between doing what is right and doing what I can. Whether it be financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, or otherwise, I am not a spring chicken anymore. I am afraid of relapsing - of returning to that pre-Kenya state of being.
But I am buoyed by the chance to put all my thoughts and feelings into my Kenya film. I have been pulling footage off of my camera and onto my computer for the last week with the idea of editing it together into a film about my experiences in Kenya. The more footage I watch, the more I am reminded of what it was that shaped me and defined me for three weeks of my life - the more strength I get in my soul to help me avoid relapse.
Kenya was a special moment in my life. If I can even do slight justice to the events that I experienced and the people that I met that transformed me, then my film will be a success. I already think that this might well be my best film ever made (and believe me, the footage sucks ;). I can't wait to show everyone and have them experience Kenya through my lens.
So, I'm going to remind everyone - May 1st, 2010 - the Kenya Dinner and Kenya Film screening. I hope to see everyone there. And I hope to be fully walking, if not running, by then.
3 comments:
I feel your pain.
After many years of Rice Crispie sounds emanating from my left knew, the result of a few youthful mountaineering indiscretions, I finally had a partial PCL tear a couple of weeks ago. Surgery is in the offing when I have some free time, but it's a huge pain worrying about crumpling in a heap at an inopportune moment.
Cheers.
Will, I'm afraid I won't be able to make it on May 1. Will you be posting your opus to YouTube?
Randall - May your knee get better soon! Not too ironically, I injured my knee hiking on a mountain that included some very basic mountaineering sections (that I'd completely forgotten about). Fortunately, my knee joint was just inflamed.
Ranger - I am still trying to determine what I can and can't show online. There are privacy issues to be concerned with and also way too many people shown to have considered getting releases from them all. I need to research this better as I don't think there's anything shown that might be considered offensive, so if I can find legal footing to stand on, I might release parts of the movie.
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