The Road

"What I want to know is what's next? If I do this, how far do I go?"

Profoundly deep and personal questions asked of no one in particular on a journey down a long road by a good friend of mine. The answers, I suspect, will come in due time. But the timing of these questions of concern over a path whose end cannot be seen came to me right as I stood at a crossroads in my own life, and right after I had finally gained the answer that I knew I would find.

When I reached the end of my last path it was March of 2000. I had been with Century Theatres for nearly 9 years by that point and knew that I could no longer bide my time with them any longer. Without having any clue what I would do next, I wrote out my two weeks notice and handed it in. At that time, I had only a vague notion of the God that would walk with me over the next part of my journey.

Within a week I had a new job - one that afforded me weekends for the first time since I'd left High School. I decided to go back to church, having existed in that gray area of the unchurched for far too long by that point. Soon I made a commitment to myself to start reading the Bible - something I'd never done before in any meaningful way. I committed to one chapter a night. I wondered to myself if I'd ever be able to keep that up. After a couple of months, I found myself being drawn to the Lakeside choir and to bell ringing. I'd had no intention of doing either ever again. Then there was a new opening in the previously well staffed youth group. I volunteered to fill it. I had no idea what I was getting into. A few months after that, I was asked to sit on the church's governing body. I considered it carefully, but eventually accepted the position.

During the three years I was on the governing body, my church was rocked with scandals, three clergy people and one music director left before we were able to call a new minister, and I found myself not only assisting the youth group, but actually leading it. I was tempted to leave many times, but I stuck with this rocky road because God had called me to it. It was three of the most difficult years in my life.

My leadership of the youth led me to some special relationships. Two of the youths approached me and wanted to make a movie. I said, okay. We made a movie. It sucked. So I went back to film school to figure out a way to make the movie better. Three years later, I finished my first film and have plans to make more.

After seven years as youth leader at my church, I finally felt called to lay down the leadership of the youth in order to go in a different direction - where, I didn't know. This January, I joined fellow church members on a mission trip to Pearlington, MS to help rebuild homes and lives left devastated by Katrina. I ended up gaining so much more than I gave. When I got back to church, I knew I couldn't wait another year to get involved again. I looked around and found another group that was planning to help street children in Kenya.

Kenya? What the heck did I know about Kenya? Wait just one second here... what's next? If I do this, how far down this road will I go?

I went to the meetings and watched the movies. I tried to figure out what it was that I was supposed to do here. They needed someone to film something... okay, but it didn't feel right - not my calling. I jumped at the opportunity to help plan the trip to Kenya by a small group of volunteers. Trip planning is something I'm good at and something I enjoy. Why, I'm planning three trips of my own over the next three years to Florida and Europe and... what's one more trip to plan? Was this what God wanted me to do? Was this going to be a short journey after all?

Less than half an hour before I heard those words uttered yesterday, I had a vision. I was walking down a dusty road. People were passing me on both sides - women carrying large jars on their heads and men dressed in loose cotton shirts and wearing shorts and sandals. I had a group of small children running in my wake carrying a soccer ball. And I knew that I was in Kenya and that my heart was full of love and peace and understanding.

No, my dear Will, you do not get to stay home and help others go to Africa. You must go to Africa and feed my sheep.

So, sometime next January or February, I will board a plane for Kenya. I don't have a darn clue how I'm going to pay for it. I don't have a darn clue what I'm going to do there. I don't know what this means for my job or my plans or anything else. But I've seen it happen. I will walk that road because that is where I am called.