Friday, February 22, 2008

The New Revised H333 Heavenly Form For Indulgent Behavior

I just finished filling out my H333 Form for Indulgences and I had a few questions for any religious accountants out there - especially as there have been some much talked about revisions since last year's code.

1) When filling out the section on worship time, do I include the commute time it takes for me to get to church on Sunday, or does it only include the actual time I'm in the Sanctuary worshipping God. I mean, if you add commute time, that puts me into a whole other Indulgence bracket and I may qualify for a minor miracle or two, but at the very least I should be able to release a few more souls from Purgatory and I'm hoping to earn enough this year to spring the entire 1919 Black Sox team.

2) Do we have to declare our 401K earnings as part of our income not given to help the Church? Or is that considered responsibility free until retirement?

3) Does tacit support of war count as something that might need to be declared as a sin under the category of large sins of omission?

4) Is there a standard amount to declare when adding up billing hours for volunteer work? I mean can I declare $50 an hour for Youth Group work and $100 an hour for Choir work, or should it all be a standard amount.

5) Just to clarify, since my computer is down and I can't use my TurboIndulgence software this year, after I determine the amount of Christian work I've done for God, and subtract my blessings and sin deductions, what I'm left with is the amount of Indulgences I've earned for the year, right? Or is the Indulgent Index on Line 33 checked off against the Tables of Indulgence in Appendix T and cross-indexed by weight, height, and the number of hairs on our head, to determine our Indulgent Quotient and from there our actual Indulgence Rebate or Debt?

6) Can I take the unusual pain and suffering deduction for a real bad sermon? ;)

Okay, I'm just kidding about the last one.

You know, my accountant from last year said that it's okay to cheat a little when filling out this form - everybody claims some things that they never actually do and tends to leave off a few sins and forget a few blessings when filling out the form. But I don't know. It seems like sooner or later, you'd be found out. And I hear the audit can be brutal and the judgment is absolutely final.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Actually, according to the Indulgence Revenue Service the following applies:

1) You can take a deduction for the amount of time spent in prayer in the entryway prior to the worship service. Commute time does not count, but there is a special credit if you spend at least 30 minutes of quiet time at some point on Sunday morning.

2) 401K only becomes tithable upon withdrawal. So you're right on.

3) I believe the statute of limitations on this expired during the Old Testament.

4) It depends on whether you use the standard deduction or if you itemize your volunteer hours. And you actually have it reversed: $50/hour for choir, $100/hour for youth group work (plus a health and safety deduction of $25/hour). Being church treasurer, however, entitles you to unlimited deductions.

5) There is legislation pending calling for a flat indulgence tax that would clarify this question.

6) Yes. Especially if it's a CoC sermon.

Will Robison said...

Good stuff, Andy. I knew the accountant in you couldn't wait to respond. ;)