A Perfect Storm

Standing at the bottom of a very large wave of incoming projects, I can't help but be awed by the perfect storm of events that have led me to this moment. Every single project that I have undertaken to perform is a logical extention of me, my interests, and my beliefs. So, how did I end up here? How did I get to the point where I'm about to be flattened by the sheer enormity of work I'm about to face?

First, the obvious... I have to work to make a living. Money doesn't grow on trees in California ever since they were all cut down to make way for freeways. So, working is a constant 9 to 5 interupption in the rest of my normal routine. Sometimes, I hardly notice it. And sometimes... Massive Sales Meeting, New products arriving, China Lead Tests everywhere, preparing for next year's big show and even more new products, inventory incredibly out of whack, two major orders in the same week depleting all of my stock... sometimes work can almost be a perfect storm in and of itself.

Second, the committments... Being a youth group leader can be fun, but getting a program restarted can feel a little bit like one of those intensely dramatic moments of E.R. - where the patient is not only lying on the operating table, dying right in front of you, but the city has been plunged in a huge black out, the back up generators don't work, terrorists have seized the hospital, and a large semi-helicopter just crashed through one of the walls, and, of course, the patient has a bomb strapped to their chest. Nevertheless, God shrugs His shoulders and says, "That's your problem." So, I have an Ice Cream Social this week, and the launch of a youth group program in two weeks, several youth events to plan, and meetings to attend, and people already questioning my committment to the program because I have to miss two weeks for basketball (see below). Yet, I wouldn't give it up, nor singing in the choir, nor playing the handbells, nor serving on the website committee, because a) I'm committed to the church and to my fellow Christians and to following the way of Jesus Christ. Between church and work, I've already committed over 50 hours a week.

Third, the education... So, what was I thinking then, when I decided to go back to school? What could have possibly lead me down this path? Yet, for the past two decades I've always had an outside project that was a means to furthering my education or enriching my knowledge in some way. Whether I was learning how to build websites, or Flash, or writing a Novel, or exploring the city and state, I have always been active in doing things that don't let me sit on my a$$ and watch TV. Going back to college, something I have been planning since I left the darn place, was just a logical next step in my educational plans. Two classes, plus an online class, and all the homework, reading, and projects that those classes entail, and suddenly my committment is well over 60 hours a week.

Fourth, the family... I'm including basketball here because as much as I love watching the college game, I wouldn't be doing the stats for USF if it weren't for family ties. An average of two games a week means an additional 6 hours of committment from November through March, and often at times when I really can least afford it. Yet, I dare not abandon this job because of its connection to my family. But there are other family committments as well. I really learned this lesson while working on the Novel, that as much as it helped get the story written, abandoning my family and friends for weeks and months on end while I wrote put a severe strain on my relationships and on my health. It seems that the more time you commit to other things, the more you have to make room for family and friends (which might be contradictory, but is certainly born out by life.) So, if I was doing 60 plus hours before, after I add family and friends to my list, that number grows to over 80 hours a week.

Fifth, the incidentals... And this is the Katrina like fear of anyone with 80 plus hours of committment already guaranteed - the incidentals, the surprises, and the things beyond our control. Illness, fatigue, lost hours, road blocks, detours... all of these things that seem to come out of nowhere and take what little time we already had and leave us with almost nothing for ourselves. We become shells of people, shadows, barely able to concentrate on one project while already planning the next one. If something should even go minorly wrong, the whole perfect schedule should collapse. It only takes one hole in a levee before flooding can occur, and sometimes only one more inch of rain will swamp an entire county. All I can do with the incidentals is hope that they aren't severe and see what I can do to minimize them.

So, what's left of me? What's left for time to watch TV? What's left for time to excersise? What's left for prayer and prayerful consideration? Am I a product of this fast paced world we live in? Or am I merely taking advantage of all this free time I've been granted? I don't know and I don't have time to contemplate the answers. Instead, I'll just keep plunging forward until I hit a wall and have to stop.

I apologize in advance if I'm absent a great deal these next few months. I'll be somewhere amongst the large waves of my life - trying to stay afloat and happy for a chance to swim.