Thursday, August 09, 2007

A N N O U N C E M E N T ! ! !

I'm








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Pregnant




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Expecting






You All








To visit my new website: WWW.HELPWILLTRAIN.ORG

(whenever it is finally finished... ;)

Over the next 12 months I have an ambitious plan to transform myself from overweight wallflower (to wallflowers what the ivy at Wrigley Field is to hanging plants) into studmuffin extraordinaire, Will T. Thrill (the last of the red hot louvers ;)

In order to accomplish this amazing feat - a task so monumental that tunneling under the English Channel looks easy by comparison - I will need a dedicated group of volunteers to help me train for this task. I will need physical trainers and weight training coaches and people to hike with me and people to kick me when I'm down and people to pray for me and people to not tempt me with ooozy thick pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, mushrooms, some of those spicy flakes that you pour on top with the parmesan cheese and... uh, where was I?

Anyway, that's where I need all of your help. You see, it occurred to me the other day that its more fun to be in agony with friends, family, and other assorted oddballs and so I thought it might be an interesting experiment to spread the wealth, so to speak. If I could, then, find a way to arrange it so that when I decide to go for a jog on a Friday evening, someone could join me and tell me I run like a girl (or guy, depending on the gender of this jogging companion), I thought I might actually tone up, tune in, and avoid take out a lot faster.

So, my trusty HELP WILL TRAIN webmaster and computer guru, Carl Tanner and I have been secretly developing the latest technology over the past, oh, six days or so, to create just such a website. This was all going to be explained to you in a fantastic film that I've been creating for the site, but, alas, I have run out of time. You'll just have to wait to see the film when the site goes active sometime tomorrow evening.

Anti-climactic, right? Would it help if I said I can prove that Global Warming is true? No, probably not, huh... I've dashed your expectations that I was a)Winning the lottery and would treat you all to a trip to Disney World, b)Meeting a man in Paris whose kind and wonderful and I'm getting married (Father of the Bride, in case you were wondering), or c)Discovered my long lost twin while at summer camp this year. Well, get over it. Compared to your deflated expectations, my problems are colossal!

And now... on with your lives...

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