Speed

This is probably an inappropriate post considering its taken me over an hour just to get to the point where I can type in these words into my blog. But I shall endeavor to go ahead anyway. In fact, I might even keep it short. (Quell HORROR!)

I was driving home last night and I knew I was not in the zone. It wasn't that God wasn't talking to me, but more like I was out of touch with Him. I was in a hurry and I couldn't understand why these stupid people in front of me didn't feel the need to go anywhere near the speed limit. The feelings of frustration and anger were jarring and no matter how much I tried to relax and center myself, I kept my foot pretty firmly planted on the accelerator.

A few weeks back, when I was in the zone, it was the thing I noticed the most - relaxing, quiet trips to and from work. I was all smiles. All happy. And I don't recall being late or driving slow. I gave the other drivers plenty of space and my foot only accelerated as necessary. While its possible that for a brief time there was a professional core of drivers on the roads between my work and my home, I'm more inclined to believe that the change from one week to the next was my doing.

It prompted a single question in my mind, "Why am I in such a damn hurry?"

I realized that the anxiety I felt in all things was the same anxiety I felt behind the wheel of my car only magnified behind the wheel. Here, in my truck, I COULD speed, I COULD rush to my destination, I COULD somewhat control how fast I moved. But in the rest of my life, my speed was controlled by the whims of fate and by the desires of other people. It made me wonder what was behind this anxiety - why I felt compelled to get to the destination as fast as possible.

Speed is a description of a process that is relational. When we have speed, we are saying that we are moving in a direction towards an object and away from another object. Our speed is measured as a ratio of distance traveled versus time spent to travel that distance (Miles Per Hour, for instance). The relationship then occurs that we have to pass things for speed to happen. If we are standing still, or if everything is moving at the same speed as us, there is no speed. When we stand still on Earth, we are immobile. But the Earth is moving. It is spinning and it is hurtling through space. So even when we stand still, we are still moving. But we don't consider it moving because we don't have a direct relation with Earth or with Space. If we were walking across Earth - then we'd be moving. If we were falling through space, then we'd be moving - because we'd have a direct relation with Earth and Space. By the same token, when we are not walking across Earth - we are not moving. And if we were to figure out a way to stand still in space - we would not be moving there either. We can stop moving in any of our relations, by simply being still in comparison. But when we stop moving on Earth, we are still in relation to Earth, but Earth is moving, therefore we are moving as well - but at the same speed as Earth. Therefore, we are going forward in step with Earth when we are still. We are not fighting Earth or trying to surpass it. We are simply connected and moving together.

Here's the thing - if we move faster than the Earth, we have speed on our planet. We can move as fast as we want, even faster than is humanly possible. But ultimately, no matter how fast we move, unless we break that connection with Earth, we are just going in a circle. Speed gets us nowhere. But fast.

Love is patient. God is love. God is patient. Patient is not fast. Patient is not slow. Patient is waiting. God is waiting. God is standing still. We are buzzing around Him trying to connect, but we can not seem to stay with Him. If we want to be simply connected and moving together with God, we need to stop moving. We need to be patient.

When we are with God, the world will buzz around us at its usual frenetic pace. We will not feel anxious at its speed. We will not be in a rush to go places and do things. We will simply be - in the moment, in God's love, in space and time. We will be the world that people try to outrun, but cannot.

Just something to ponder slowly this weekend... while waiting for your Blog Posts to speed up. ;)