Living in God's love can be kind of overwhelming and tiring. I don't think I've ever smiled so much as I have the last two days. I've been happy. I've been filled with joy. I've been warmly embraced by feelings I couldn't have imagined three days before.
I can't begin to explain it. The shortest answer I can give is that I stopped trying to think God, and started to feel Him. Its a paradox to be sure that the only way to know God is with your heart and not your mind - especially since knowledge is so strongly associated with the mind.
The slightly longer explanation, or as near as I can figure it, is that God is Love. I know this boils it down to as simple a concept as possible, but the ramifications are overwhelming. It doesn't begin to explain God, or define God, because to do so would be to define Love or explain Love. It can't be done. And that's why it fits so wonderfully.
Picture, if you will, what you imagine love to be. Not the romantic, sappy, love song kind of love that they try to sell you on a daily basis, but true abiding love - the love between a parent and child, or the love between a man and a woman - a love so pure that there can be no imperfections. To be a part of this love, then, one would have to be as nearly perfect in love as the love itself. One would need to be a perfect recepticle and distributor of love.
What is this thing we are always craving? Its love, of course. Its that feeling of belonging, of warmth, of safety, of bliss. We are constantly trying to replace that feeling with things that may take us to these places temporarily. We are constantly trying to replace Love with Things. But it can't be done. That yearning that we feel is for love... not just any love, but one so perfect that it can fill us up with eternal water.
Wow. You know... I think this topic may be beyond my ability to explain it. I keep trying to grasp it in my mind, to understand it in its entirety, but I can't begin to fathom it all. Its just sounds like new age John Denver lyrics - but it is infinitely more profound than that. Mere words can't do it justice.
Three days ago, I was the mathematical equivalent of a person trying to understand how X could be a number, and now my mind is whirling in the region of calculus and quantum mechanics. I'm not sure my mind can keep up with this pace. I'm not sure I'll ever grasp the entire concept. But my mind and my heart are open now and God willing, they'll never be shut again.
I've just got to try and figure out how to explain this Good News to everyone so that they can share in the abundant joy I've felt. I need more love! God will explain it to me!
1 comment:
You know, I felt the same way in those days and weeks right after my "testimony" message in church last September. It was this overwhelming feeling of love and joy that I couldn't explain, which is probably why I started blogging.
And even now, I can't quite explain it - but I'm with you - how do I share this joy?
I found myself sharing this type of info with others at the youth reunion, but I'm not sure they understood - even others at my own church don't quite understand it when I share it with them.
I think we need to open our hearts to God and as for patience as we speak our joy to others - continue to plant seeds, and show our love for them.
The patience is one of the hardest things, because I want others to experience what I've felt.
And I have to say, again, how ecstatic I am for you, bro!
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