This blog is dedicated to the song that has kept my brain wrapped up for the past several weeks - Piano Man, by Billy Joel. Not really the whole song, mind you, just the one line, "Son, I believe this is killing me, as the smile ran away from his face, for I'm sure that I could be a movie star, if I could get out of this place."
Dave Story #1 - My brother Dave tells these stories that I have no idea if they're true, but they sound true. I spread them with the aforementioned warning as to their veracity. According to Dave, Billy Joel had a really bad agent when he first started out. He made an album and got so royally screwed on the deal that when he went to renegotiate the deal for this second album, and the producer wouldn't change the terms, he packed up his stuff and moved to Los Angeles to play piano at a bar until the length of his contract ended. The experiences of those years formed the background for his most famous and vivid song - Piano Man - which he recorded under a brand new deal as soon as he was able to get a better contract. Again... I have no idea if this is true, but if you listen to the lyrics of Piano Man, you can almost picture an LA bar at night and these guys coming up and saying, "Man, what are you doing here?"
The reason I find myself so enraptured with this lyric is because writing my novel is killing me. To be sure, not all at once. I'm not holding a gun to my head. But slowly, inexhorably, like the Terminator, it is relentless in its killing desire.
It attacks me mentally - hour after hour after hour spent planning, editing, writing, editing, planning, editing, writing, editing, planning... you get the gist. There are times when I am done writing when my brain is literally mush. After a few hours of work, there are times when I can't construct a simple sentence. I have rubbed all my brain cells together. I'm not sure I have that many left. I must have drank too much in college.
It attacks my physically - after spending all day at work almost always crunching numbers at a computer for most of the day, I come home and sit in front of my computer writing, often until midnight or later. My sleep cycle while I'm writing is most often between 5 and 6 hours a night for days and weeks on end. I get so tied up sitting at my computer that I'm getting cramps and Charlie Horses in my unused and stiff muscles. Before I started work on my Novel - in 2003 - I used to hike all the time. Now I get out about twice a year. That will change in March when I finish, of course. But I just hope that my Novel isn't published posthumously in the meantime.
It attacks me morally - you can't write a book with big baddies, if they're not big and bad. Like a method actor, I have to envision my story as if I was each character. If a character does something morally unacceptable, I have to get into that character's head space and write the scene. Murder, Rape, and other mayhem have run through my head the past four years (I started the synopsis in 2002). You would think, as I thought, that writing an evil scene wouldn't be any more taxing than writing a good scene - but it is. There are just parts of you that scream out that what you are picturing is evil. But Good isn't nearly as good with the evil to counter balance it. Luke Skywalker blowing up the Evil Galactic Butterfly Catcher is not only silly, but makes Luke appear to be sadistic in context. I just counterbalance my evil scenes with one's filled with good and hope that you'll all forgive me when you realize that just about everyone dies in a tragic way in this book.
So, pretty much I'm in bad shape. My next project may be the big screen adaption of The Wiggles. But this won't occur until I spend at least a year walking all over Europe, studying the religious works of the great Masters, while raising funds for the war orphans of the world.
And only then will I be able to pass an Aerobee again.
Have a good weekend, all. And God bless.
7 comments:
While I think it's commendable that you've given yourself a target of March to complete, it does you no good NOT to get out, too. Enjoy life out there, and perhaps you'll be able to attack the novel with a renewed energy and vigor.
Of course, that probably means the novel drags out into April...
I don't do well without pressure. I finally was able to figure this out about myself yesterday... after only like 30 something years ;) I wondered if I was being lazy or just a procrastinator, until I realized that when it came down to crunch time, I really pushed like an insane man. I never would have finished the first draft if I'd been lazy or a procrastinator. I just need to set a good deadline. If I change the deadline, I lost motivation. Its a close thing. I won't kill myself to reach the deadline... but if the Novel kills me first, I won't have to ;) Let's just say I'm watching my back when I get close to my computer lately... ;)
Will- I almost believe this could be a game show: Dave Stories - Truth or Fiction? I have to say, I researched this one, and its true. Here's what Yahoo Biography had to say about Mr. Joel:
Joel returned to playing music in 1971, signing a deal with Family Productions. Under the terms of the contract, Joel signed to the label's parent company, Ripp, for life; the pianist was unaware of the clause at the time, but it would come back to haunt him -- Ripp received royalties from every album Joel sold until the late '80s. Joel refashioned himself as a sensitive singer/songwriter for his debut album, Cold Spring Harbor, which was released in November of 1971. Due to an error in the mastering of the album, Cold Spring Harbor was released a couple of tape speeds too fast; the album remained in that bastardized form until 1984. Following the release of the album, Joel went on a small live tour, during which he would frequently delve into standup comedy. The tour received good reviews but Joel remained unhappy with the quality of his performance and, especially, the quality of the album. Furthermore, he lost a manager during this time and Family Productions were experiencing legal and financial difficulties, which prevented him from recording an immediate follow-up.
Early in 1972, he moved out to Los Angeles with his girlfriend Elizabeth. Joel adopted the name Bill Martin and spent half a year playing lounge piano at the Executive Room. Toward the end of the year, he began touring, playing various nightclubs across the country. At the beginning of 1973, Joel married Elizabeth Weber and she enrolled at UCLA's Graduate School of Management. Around the same time, a radio station began playing a live version of "Captain Jack" that was recorded at a Philadelphia radio broadcast. Soon, record companies were eagerly seeking to sign the pianist, and he eventually signed with Columbia Records. In order for Joel to sign with Columbia, the major label had to agree to pay Ripp Productions 25 cents for each album sold, plus display the Family and Remus logos on each record Joel released.
By the end of 1973, Billy Joel's first album for Columbia Records, Piano Man, had been released. The record slowly worked its way up the charts, peaking at number 27 in the spring of 1974. The title track -- culled from experiences he had while singing at the Executive Room -- became a Top 40 hit single.
Hi Will,
Again, I have been completely enthralled with your last three postings. I love listening to you confess you are suffering--not because I’m a blog sadist or anything like that. But when you write, you are so *real*, so utterly vulnerable. And unlike, Peter’s blog where I feel like I am the slow student among the “gifted”, I read what you have to say and I know exactly what you mean. Your vulnerability makes your writing powerful. You make me want to write!
I want to comment on your discussion of how some cultures do not fight unless there are not enough resources to go around. I agree that we humans, have a conflict between flesh and spirit, especially because the world in finite. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that human beings were kind of an “experiment”. I think that because God is omnipotent--owns everything, knows everything, *is* everything-- he must have wanted company. Of course he had his angels, but they were servants and spirits. He decided to do something interesting and put a spiritual being in an animal’s body. Granted it was the smartest of all the animals and had skills other animals lacked such as being pre-wired for speech, but the human animal still had to eat, sleep, procreate and survive. It is this reason that learning our true nature, to be with God again, is such struggle.
When you speak of your struggle to portray evil characters in your book because you have to “get into their heads”, I completely understand. It is a terrible revelation to know you really can put yourself there. I remember reading something by Tom Clancey; there was this horrific description of a murderer/predator cornering and killing his victim. I could totally get into his head and understand his need to capture, dominate, possess and kill this poor woman. It’s about power. Having the power over life or death of another human being is the closest a human can ever get to having the power of God. Desiring the power of God is probably the most destructive sin a human can commit. Satan was God’s favorite angel before he decided he wanted to be God and he was punished for it. So I can understand that the process of putting yourself into the head of an evil character could be completely draining and physically debilitating. However, Will, I think your book needs to get finished. Your preamble to your book says “It could happen here”, and I think you are right. What you postulate can happen in this country and someone needs to write about it.
Lucky for us, God decided that He would create a human flesh form of Himself, Jesus Christ, to connect with us again. This wonderful gift was bestowed on us because as humans, we lost the holiness of our spiritual nature through the sins of the world and could no longer come back to Him. He paid our debts for us. I try to praise God everyday for this Gift but I still fall short. Such is the human dilemma. But God knows what He wants to do with each and every one of us. It is our job to keep our minds open to Him so that we know too.
I look forward to your next post, Will.
When I first signed up with an online music operation, my first six purchases were: Piano Man, The Stranger, Scenes from an Italian Restaraunt, Just the Way You Are, She's Always a Woman, and She's Got a Way. Needless to say, I can relate to the Billy Joel-ness of your post. Boy was I upset when Billy Joel left real music behind and committed himself to raking in the cash with bubblegum pop music. How could Billy Joel walk away from the talent he displayed in Piano Man, The Stranger, and 52nd Street.
Hang in there! Can't wait to read it. Great meeting you this weekend. DD
hey Andy, with!
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