Friendship

You might think this blog would be about Andy. But it isn't. Andy has been my friend for many years. We grew up together. We went to Church together. We like the Giants. We like Star Wars. We have so much in common. Being Andy's friend is easy - maybe even too easy sometimes. But that's not what this blog is about. This blog is about Jay. Jay, as you'll soon understand, is not an easy friend to have.

I met Jay in High School. He'd just moved to California from New Hampshire and he really didn't know anyone. He sat behind me in English class and was a really nice guy. My oldest best friend, Fish, and I starting messing with Jay. It was actually easy. We were all bored to death in English class. So when Jay wasn't looking, we stole his essay and started writing random sentences. As I recall, it was an essay about the life of Shakespeare. By the time the three of us were done with it, it was an esoteric performance art masterpiece.

Jay got into trouble. The entire English department met to discuss this paper that "he'd" written. With its troubling death metal lyrics and bad poetry interspersed with tidbits about the life of Shakespeare, the old fogies in the English Department (average age was about 89) didn't know what to make of it. After meeting with the entire department and basically parroting back to them what we'd told Jay to say about the artistic merits of the piece (just as made up as the piece was, I assure you) they decided to just have Jay turn in a more conventional essay and dropped the whole subject. For Jay's troubles, he earned our friendship and trust.

When I first met Jay, he was a Southern Baptist from New Hampshire with a Wiccan Mother and an Alcoholic Father. Next to his Bible on his bookshelf was a book on witchcraft. I always thought that was a perfect analogy for Jay's life.

Jay was brash, outspoken, quick tempered, and completely insane. But he was also loyal, fun, and a really nice guy. He reminded me of my dog, Paws, who was such a sweetheart, if you knew her, and Cujo if you didn't. Jay is the guy we all know that we like but that you constantly hear everyone complaining about. You know, the one you're embarassed to invite to parties, but that everyone asks about when they realize he isn't there. He, like a fungus, kind of grows on you.

When I left High School, I dabbled with film school for a while and Jay went with me. A year later, neither one of us going anywhere, Jay decided to join the Navy. Not having anything better to do, I decided to do the same. When I got out of the Navy, we shared an apartment in San Francisco and I went back to college while he got a job. When I went off to Idaho to finish my degree, he remained behind and...

Jay left the church sometime around the end of high school. It had never been his choice in the first place. He didn't leave it because it was a drag or a hassle, he left it because it had never been anything to him. He dabbled with this and that for a while, never really latching on to any philosophy or religion for too long. Somewhere along the line, he started reading the Satanic Bible. And that brought him to the attention of Anton LaVey - the writer of the Satanic Bible and the avowed High Priest of the Satanic Church.

When I came back from Idaho, Jay had moved on from providing security for LaVey to studying for the Satanic Priesthood. I find it interesting that Jay was the last Satanic Priest ever named, because shortly afterwards, Anton LaVey died. Just as I was starting to return to the church that had raised me, Jay was becoming a Satanic Priest. A power struggle in the church ensued after LaVey's death and Jay wanted nothing to do with it. As far as I know, the Satanic Church died with LaVey.

Jay remained my friend. We had a once spoken pact between us, not to talk about religion. Somehow, though, I knew there was a way to bring Jay back into the fold. I figured that if Jay saw me as a Christian and saw how well I was doing, he'd be moved to discover that which I knew. I'd like to say that it's worked. But I'll just say that I think its starting to work... I actually heard him say something complimentary about Christianity the other day - though he immediatley followed that with a blasphemous denouncing of God. I'll take what I can get. Only God can soften his heart. I can just be there to help pick up the pieces.

The reason I mention all this is because scripture is pretty clear that I should abandon my friend and have nothing to do with him. In many places it tells me not to spend time with evil people. I've learned a thing or two about not paying attention to what the Bible says, and I'm worried about what might happen if I once again ignore its teachings.

Being friends with Jay is hard. Its not easy, like it is with Andy. He smokes, drinks, swears too much, and says a lot of inappropriate comments. But when we went hiking in Big Basin and I literally was on my last dregs of energy, he got behind me and pushed me up the hill. And when I got a new bike, he happily agreed to help me train and to teach me the proper techniques of bicycle riding. He is troubling, and yet loyal. He is dark, and yet the nicest guy you'll meet. He does things that you and I could never imagine, and yet, you can't help thinking that he'd make a great Christian someday.

So, I ask you two things. First, help me pray for my brother, Jay, that we can get him back into the fold. And Second, pray for me, that I know what I'm doing by remaining his friend and that I might someday have a positive influence on him. That's all I can ask.

The rest is up to God.