The Adventure Chronicles was started on a July day in 1983. For the past 22 years it has come to represent my dream for a company of creative equals. But in recent months, I have come to suspect that the dream might finally be over and that I might just be too stubborn to accept the idea. While I've long known that I was the heart and soul of TAC and that the dream of TAC was mine alone, I'd always thought that I'd have plenty of energy to carry TAC's dream to fruition. Lately, however, I've begun to doubt my will and my level of energy. How long can one person hold on to an unfulfilled dream?
For as long as I can remember I've wanted to make this dream a reality. Before TAC, in 3rd Grade, the company was called JDW Films, and that changed to SDW Films, and then, at one point, it was WAG. But with the writing of the words The Adventure Chronicles Present, TAC was born and came to symbolize to me every thing that I'd always dreamed could one day happen.
I pictured a huge entertainment empire on the scale of Disney - where creativity was king, and not just a commodity to be bought and sold or gone without if the budget didn't allow for it. Naturally, I'd be the leader - but only since this would allow me the resources to bring my own ideas to fruition, not because I wanted to boss anyone around.
The problem with this dream was that to have a huge empire, you need more than just yourself. I created TAC with the idea that I could lure people over to my side of the fence, that I could instill this dream in them.
But time and again, I failed. And let's face it, who wants to bank on a dream? A dream doesn't get you a good job. A dream doesn't get you a spouse or kids or a nice house. A dream doesn't buy you fancy things or send you on vacations. When all is said and done, a dream is just a dream - a flighty figment of fantasy.
And so, I've been thinking of chucking it, throwing it out, abandoning it to a world of childish pasttimes. I've been thinking of all those things I missed and all those things that I can have, if I can just forget the dream and go after practical pursuits.
Aye, but there's the rub.
I can't. I've thought about it, and thought about it, and sometimes even fantasized about it, but I can't abandon the dream. I can't abandon TAC.
You see TAC is more than just a dream to me - TAC is me. Whenever I think of ending it, I get short of breath and panicky. To abandon it, to shut it down, to move on to greener pastures, at the expense of never again imagining leaping from an exploding blimp, using Mock Fu to disarm a large opponent with bad breath, stealing a rickshaw, or traveling to countless worlds and countless adventures - I just can't do it. TAC is more than just a few words on a page, it is an attitude, a way of life, that says that life is precious, and crazy, and thrilling, and extraordinary. And by extraordinary, I don't mean MORE ORDINARY, I mean SO FAR BEYOND ORDINARY THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND IT. I could no more shut down TAC than I could will myself to stop breathing.
TAC is like my inner flame. It takes a few blows from time to time. It dims. It flickers. But it never goes out.
So, no more dreams of money, or women, or children or fancy real estate. If I never quite achieve the TAC Potential, so be it. My life is set. My course is laid. My bed is made... only figuratively, of course. ;)
And now, back to work on TAC... and my next great Adventure.
3 comments:
TAC must always exist - it might only be a place where a small legion of fanatics visit, but that place must always be there. Where else can you find the pictures of us in the hot tub in Mendocino, but at the TAC archives?
TAC is our youth, too. And it's home.
I'm with you, Will. But I've forgotten how to find my way to TAC. Did I ever know? Was it only a dream? One brief shining moment...of TAC?
You can't post a blog entry like that and not tell us where to find TAC!
Oh! I get it. This is some kind of wickedly shrewd strategy, isn't it? At the very moment you threaten to take it from us, we hunger for TAC all the more. We must have it. Give us TAC!!!
Here's a serous suggestion: how about a TAC podcast? I predict that podcasts will eventually become a more dominant medium than television. Just remember where you heard it first. Speaking for myself, I love podcasts, and I don't even have an iPod. I just have a dumb little mp3 player, but it works great. I listen mostly to NPR programs on my little Rio Sport, but there's not that much good, intelligent, and entertaining stuff out there. It's the perfect medium for a creative writer such as yourself.
The TAC Website is starting its 7th year of business and is showing signs of age... again. Does it ever stop needing to be refreshed?
I've amended the blog with the link - I had actually thought of doing it yesterday, but I ran out of time. The website is kind of a mess right now. Its in a state of flux because I just spent 2 years writing my novel and sort of let the website lapse during that time. I'm actually just at the beginning of a process for renewing the website for next year - which is only one side effect of this blog and TAC's brush with death. My priority right now is actually to get the TAC Store up and running. We're pretty close right now.
By the way, its good to hear from you Dave. Thanks for being such a great youth leader. I look to our youth group for inspiration every time I try to run a youth event at Lakeside. The Ice Cream Social, in particular, was quite succesful last year thanks to your example. I just wish we had a youth group of a similar size. Oh well...
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