And now it can finally be revealed... we've been hearing rumors for months, Barack is the anti-christ, or a muslim terrorist, or a communist infiltrator bent on destroying democracy, or he is "that one," but the truth is far more insidious and I am here to tell it to you.
Barack Hussein Obama is actually Darth Opraspictakis - a Sith Lord - and Joe Biden, aka Darth Futindamowthakis, is his Sith Apprentice.
Warned, you are... Take seriously this, you must... Forget all that you have learned, and studied, and experienced, and vote on this rumor, you shall. Your brain shall you leave at home. Trust your rumors, you know they are true.
(Okay... I'm officially sick and tired of the election! I'm definitely tuning out now. Someone tell me how it ends.)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The First Thing To Go...
As President, here is the first thing I would eliminate... The Consumer Product Safety Commission - a group of well-meaning, but completely inept people who will use a bull-dozer to find a china cup (to paraphrase Belloq).
In trying to craft sweeping legislation to prevent the sort of boondoggle we had last year with lead contents in children's toys, they've created new laws that go into effect November 12th that, amongst other things, require:
1) A certification of compliance with all current safety regulations on the books be sent by the manufacturer, importer, and any other interested party to all distributors and retailers for every single product covered by an existing safety regulation.
2) That this certification show the date and time the product was tested to meet these regulations and the name of the certified testing agent (of which there are only a handful worldwide).
Okay, here's the problem with this legislation in a nut shell. Paper. Ordinary paper. Paper is covered under the Federal Hazardous Substance Act where it says, to wit: Paper is safe. However, since Paper is under the FHSA, by this new law, certification must be obtained from the manufacturer that claims that this product is in compliance with the FHSA, and it must provide the name of the testing company that proves that this product is in compliance with the FHSA. So, Paper companies need to get their manufacturers and testing companies to agree that paper is, in fact, paper and therefore safe. And they need to do it for all of their paper products and by November 12th.
All this because some cheap ass Chinese products were found to be bathed in lead paint.
Gee, I'm so glad the government is looking out for me. I feel safer already.
Keep in mind, that all of this testing and labeling and certifying costs money and takes time. And who gets to pay for the cost of this colossal waste of time - the consumer.
So the next time you buy paper, you might want to ask your local retailer if they can prove that its safe. After all, we wouldn't want to think this was just paperwork for paperwork's sake.
P.S. If I'm not around between now and November 12th, guess what I'll be doing.
In trying to craft sweeping legislation to prevent the sort of boondoggle we had last year with lead contents in children's toys, they've created new laws that go into effect November 12th that, amongst other things, require:
1) A certification of compliance with all current safety regulations on the books be sent by the manufacturer, importer, and any other interested party to all distributors and retailers for every single product covered by an existing safety regulation.
2) That this certification show the date and time the product was tested to meet these regulations and the name of the certified testing agent (of which there are only a handful worldwide).
Okay, here's the problem with this legislation in a nut shell. Paper. Ordinary paper. Paper is covered under the Federal Hazardous Substance Act where it says, to wit: Paper is safe. However, since Paper is under the FHSA, by this new law, certification must be obtained from the manufacturer that claims that this product is in compliance with the FHSA, and it must provide the name of the testing company that proves that this product is in compliance with the FHSA. So, Paper companies need to get their manufacturers and testing companies to agree that paper is, in fact, paper and therefore safe. And they need to do it for all of their paper products and by November 12th.
All this because some cheap ass Chinese products were found to be bathed in lead paint.
Gee, I'm so glad the government is looking out for me. I feel safer already.
Keep in mind, that all of this testing and labeling and certifying costs money and takes time. And who gets to pay for the cost of this colossal waste of time - the consumer.
So the next time you buy paper, you might want to ask your local retailer if they can prove that its safe. After all, we wouldn't want to think this was just paperwork for paperwork's sake.
P.S. If I'm not around between now and November 12th, guess what I'll be doing.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Doom and Gloom
I admit that one of the things that I generally found annoying about the otherwise excellent An Inconvenient Truth was the ending. After being told the entire planet was about to crap out, Al Gore comes along and says, "Now, wait... there's something you can do. Inflate your tires. Use CFL lightbulbs. Drive less. And Global Warming will GO AWAY! YAY!" I'm paraphrasing in a South Park kind of way. The argument, while giving us some hope to cling to, always came across a little bit like Duck and Cover in case of a nuclear attack. Extremely optimistic, to say the least.
Which is why I was extremely pleased, and entirely disheartened, to watch the Frontline report on PBS the other night, "Heat" about the Global Warming crisis. Make no mistake about it, Frontline doesn't sugarcoat anything. When things were bad in Iraq, they told us just how bad they were. The same thing with Global Warming. By the end of the episode, I was fairly convinced that the planet was screwed.
The problem is that whether we like it or not, Americans tend to be the leaders of the free world. And, as Americans, we tend to react to things rather than act preventively. I mean, let's be realistic, we've known about the concept of global warming since the 50's (one of the rather amusing highlights of the Frontline documentary was a TV show clip from the 50's where the scientist explains the concept of Global Warming and what it might do if it happens, and everything he mentions has pretty much happened). But we've never done anything to act upon it. We knew about Hitler and didn't get involved in the war until 1941. And many of us suspected the financial crisis that is destroying us now, and we did nothing to stop it either. How much more so are we reacting to global warming?
Well, that was the truly scary part of the documentary - so far, we aren't. We've paid a lot of lip service to the idea of attacking global warming, but on every single issue that's come up as a potential solution, the American people, the American government, and, most obviously, American business have worked hard to successfully thwart the solution. Electric cars - flattened. More robust fuel standards - slashed. Clean burning coal - too expensive. Anything that we've come up with as a solution has been stopped.
In the meantime, the world keeps getting hotter. And whether its man made or not - the situation is getting dire. In twenty five years, Peru could lose up to 70% of its river water as the last Andes glaciers completely melt. In thirty to thirty five years, over 500 million people in the Indian sub-continent might be out of water and over 250 million people in China, as the glaciers in the Himilayas disappear. The desertification of a good portion of the world that once fed our growing 6 Billion Plus population is an ongoing problem - one that will spiral out of control if we can no longer water these lands. We are literally a world civilization on the brink of destruction.
Like I said, they don't pull any punches. At the end of the episode, Al Gore didn't come out and tell us to use more peanut butter or some such nonsense. The entire gist of the show was, we're screwed, and if you're expecting big business or government to bail us out, you're also delusional.
Now, that being said, we Americans do tend to bounce back from hard hitting disasters - whether it be the Dust Bowl, the Great Depression, Pearl Harbor or 9-11. If global warming really does start to impact the United States, I've got to believe that we're going to do something about it - something really profoundly good. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that it'll probably already be too late. We basically need to change the entire world society in the next ten years or we're all toast.
Is it any wonder that I stayed up late last night to watch South Park and SNL? When faced with doom and gloom, sometimes the only response is to laugh about something a little more tangible. And by those standards, maybe Al Gore was right.
Which is why I was extremely pleased, and entirely disheartened, to watch the Frontline report on PBS the other night, "Heat" about the Global Warming crisis. Make no mistake about it, Frontline doesn't sugarcoat anything. When things were bad in Iraq, they told us just how bad they were. The same thing with Global Warming. By the end of the episode, I was fairly convinced that the planet was screwed.
The problem is that whether we like it or not, Americans tend to be the leaders of the free world. And, as Americans, we tend to react to things rather than act preventively. I mean, let's be realistic, we've known about the concept of global warming since the 50's (one of the rather amusing highlights of the Frontline documentary was a TV show clip from the 50's where the scientist explains the concept of Global Warming and what it might do if it happens, and everything he mentions has pretty much happened). But we've never done anything to act upon it. We knew about Hitler and didn't get involved in the war until 1941. And many of us suspected the financial crisis that is destroying us now, and we did nothing to stop it either. How much more so are we reacting to global warming?
Well, that was the truly scary part of the documentary - so far, we aren't. We've paid a lot of lip service to the idea of attacking global warming, but on every single issue that's come up as a potential solution, the American people, the American government, and, most obviously, American business have worked hard to successfully thwart the solution. Electric cars - flattened. More robust fuel standards - slashed. Clean burning coal - too expensive. Anything that we've come up with as a solution has been stopped.
In the meantime, the world keeps getting hotter. And whether its man made or not - the situation is getting dire. In twenty five years, Peru could lose up to 70% of its river water as the last Andes glaciers completely melt. In thirty to thirty five years, over 500 million people in the Indian sub-continent might be out of water and over 250 million people in China, as the glaciers in the Himilayas disappear. The desertification of a good portion of the world that once fed our growing 6 Billion Plus population is an ongoing problem - one that will spiral out of control if we can no longer water these lands. We are literally a world civilization on the brink of destruction.
Like I said, they don't pull any punches. At the end of the episode, Al Gore didn't come out and tell us to use more peanut butter or some such nonsense. The entire gist of the show was, we're screwed, and if you're expecting big business or government to bail us out, you're also delusional.
Now, that being said, we Americans do tend to bounce back from hard hitting disasters - whether it be the Dust Bowl, the Great Depression, Pearl Harbor or 9-11. If global warming really does start to impact the United States, I've got to believe that we're going to do something about it - something really profoundly good. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that it'll probably already be too late. We basically need to change the entire world society in the next ten years or we're all toast.
Is it any wonder that I stayed up late last night to watch South Park and SNL? When faced with doom and gloom, sometimes the only response is to laugh about something a little more tangible. And by those standards, maybe Al Gore was right.
Friday Light
DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- In the beginning, there was a long line for Judgment Day ale.
Shortly after the doors opened on the 27th Great American Beer Festival, a crowd congregated at the booth offering that and other pours from The Lost Abbey of San Marcos, California, where the tap handle is a Celtic cross and the legacy of beer-brewing monks endures.
Standing under a banner promising "Inspired beers for Saints and Sinners Alike," proprietor and former altar boy Tomme Arthur had a confession: He's using God to sell some beer.
"It's the oldest story ever told -- the struggle between good and evil," said Arthur, 35, a product of Catholic schools in his native San Diego. "There is a battle being waged between those who make good beer and those who make evil beer."
Without question, unholy excess is in evidence anytime 18,000 gallons of alcohol is served to 46,000 people over three days. See: women in Bavarian maid outfits and "Beer Pong" tables.
Yet perhaps surprisingly, God could be found at last week's Great American Beer Festival -- in the crassly commercial, in homage to religion's long history in brewing, in needling faiths that turn a suspect eye on drinking, and (if the prophet of home-brewing is to be believed) at the bottom of every glass.
While alcohol and religion don't always mix, no less a figure than Benjamin Franklin once said: "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Charlie Papazian, author of "The Complete Joy of Homebrewing," the undisputed bible of the craft, can cite many intersections of beer and the divine. Mayan and Aztec priests controlled the brewing of beer in pre-Columbian days, monks in Bavaria brewed strong bocks for sustenance during Lent and the first brewery in the Americas was founded by Belgium monks in Ecuador in 1534.
Before Louis Pasteur pinpointed yeast as the culprit in the 1850s, brewers didn't know what caused fermentation, said Papazian, president of the Boulder, Colorado-based Brewers Association. So they invented one run-on word to describe the mysterious stuff at the bottom of the bottle: "Godisgood."
"As you drain a glass of beer, look at the yeast at the bottom and be reminded that God is good, because that's the way it feels," Papazian said.
Like most business owners, brewers tend to avoid politics and religion out of fear of alienating customers. At the same time, microbrewing has become an intensely competitive industry, so putting a saint on a bottle can help a guy stand out.
When Brock Wagner was looking to name his new brewery in Houston 14 years ago, his search took him to the library of a local Catholic seminary. There, he found the story of St. Arnold of Metz, the French saint of brewers and one of many patron saints of the brewing arts.
As the tale goes, Arnold (580-640) urged his people, "Don't drink the water, drink beer" because he believed water boiled in beer was safer than tainted water sources.
Centuries later, St. Arnold Brewing Co. became Texas' first craft brewery, with a "divine reserve" single-batch beer and 21 fermenters named for different saints.
"One purpose of religion is the formation of communities, and our brewery kind of has that effect, of bringing people together," said Wagner, who describes himself as spiritual but wary of organized religion. "Some of our regulars say going on our brewery tour is going to church."
Jeremy Cowan, the marketing mind behind He'Brew (the chosen beer), was absent from his company's booth on the festival's first day; it was Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement.
Established in 1996 (or 5757), Cowan's Schmaltz Brewing Co. uses Jewish humor, scripture and imagery in packaging its beers, all of them kosher. There's Genesis Ale ("our first creation") Messiah Bold ("the one you've been waiting for") and Jewbelation ("L'Chaim!").
"I am passionately Jewish," Cowan said. "I don't get as caught up in the legal minutiae. I'm more fascinated in the project of Judaism as a civilization. This is the way I participate."
Some faith traditions reject alcohol as an intoxicant that invites bad behavior and abuse. Observant Muslims and Mormons, among others, abstain from drinking on religious grounds.
Last year, an evangelical church targeting young adults in the St. Louis area got in trouble with the Missouri Baptist Convention for holding a church ministry at a microbrewery. (The Southern Baptist Convention opposes making, advertising, distributing and consuming alcohol).
At Denver's Great American Beer Festival, four ex-Mormons who met at Utah State University ran a booth selling "X-Communicated Mormon Drinking Team" T-shirts, sweatshirts and other products.
"Our business model is to sell enough T-shirts to pay the cost of a group of our friends getting together and having fun for the weekend," said Mike Hansen, 36, of Whitefish, Montana.
Another entrepreneur peddled "WWJB: What Would Jesus Brew?" T-shirts, with an image of a smiling Jesus with a mash paddle in one hand and a pint glass in the other.
Vinnie Cilurzo of Russian River Brewing Co. in Santa Rosa, California, brews a series of religion-themed beers that began with "Damnation." A strong golden ale, the beer's name is a nod to the great Belgian beer Duval, which comes from the Flemish word for devil.
A restaurant around the corner from Cilurzo's brewery refused to stock it.
"It all started with 'Damnation,"' said Cilurzo, who has no religious affiliation. "I felt like if we started with 'Damnation,' we needed to be redeemed. We needed 'Salvation."'
Cilurzo's latest creation, Consecration, was a festival hit and an answered prayer -- a richly textured sour ale aged for nine months in Cabernet Sauvignon barrels with black currants.
God is good.
Shortly after the doors opened on the 27th Great American Beer Festival, a crowd congregated at the booth offering that and other pours from The Lost Abbey of San Marcos, California, where the tap handle is a Celtic cross and the legacy of beer-brewing monks endures.
Standing under a banner promising "Inspired beers for Saints and Sinners Alike," proprietor and former altar boy Tomme Arthur had a confession: He's using God to sell some beer.
"It's the oldest story ever told -- the struggle between good and evil," said Arthur, 35, a product of Catholic schools in his native San Diego. "There is a battle being waged between those who make good beer and those who make evil beer."
Without question, unholy excess is in evidence anytime 18,000 gallons of alcohol is served to 46,000 people over three days. See: women in Bavarian maid outfits and "Beer Pong" tables.
Yet perhaps surprisingly, God could be found at last week's Great American Beer Festival -- in the crassly commercial, in homage to religion's long history in brewing, in needling faiths that turn a suspect eye on drinking, and (if the prophet of home-brewing is to be believed) at the bottom of every glass.
While alcohol and religion don't always mix, no less a figure than Benjamin Franklin once said: "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Charlie Papazian, author of "The Complete Joy of Homebrewing," the undisputed bible of the craft, can cite many intersections of beer and the divine. Mayan and Aztec priests controlled the brewing of beer in pre-Columbian days, monks in Bavaria brewed strong bocks for sustenance during Lent and the first brewery in the Americas was founded by Belgium monks in Ecuador in 1534.
Before Louis Pasteur pinpointed yeast as the culprit in the 1850s, brewers didn't know what caused fermentation, said Papazian, president of the Boulder, Colorado-based Brewers Association. So they invented one run-on word to describe the mysterious stuff at the bottom of the bottle: "Godisgood."
"As you drain a glass of beer, look at the yeast at the bottom and be reminded that God is good, because that's the way it feels," Papazian said.
Like most business owners, brewers tend to avoid politics and religion out of fear of alienating customers. At the same time, microbrewing has become an intensely competitive industry, so putting a saint on a bottle can help a guy stand out.
When Brock Wagner was looking to name his new brewery in Houston 14 years ago, his search took him to the library of a local Catholic seminary. There, he found the story of St. Arnold of Metz, the French saint of brewers and one of many patron saints of the brewing arts.
As the tale goes, Arnold (580-640) urged his people, "Don't drink the water, drink beer" because he believed water boiled in beer was safer than tainted water sources.
Centuries later, St. Arnold Brewing Co. became Texas' first craft brewery, with a "divine reserve" single-batch beer and 21 fermenters named for different saints.
"One purpose of religion is the formation of communities, and our brewery kind of has that effect, of bringing people together," said Wagner, who describes himself as spiritual but wary of organized religion. "Some of our regulars say going on our brewery tour is going to church."
Jeremy Cowan, the marketing mind behind He'Brew (the chosen beer), was absent from his company's booth on the festival's first day; it was Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement.
Established in 1996 (or 5757), Cowan's Schmaltz Brewing Co. uses Jewish humor, scripture and imagery in packaging its beers, all of them kosher. There's Genesis Ale ("our first creation") Messiah Bold ("the one you've been waiting for") and Jewbelation ("L'Chaim!").
"I am passionately Jewish," Cowan said. "I don't get as caught up in the legal minutiae. I'm more fascinated in the project of Judaism as a civilization. This is the way I participate."
Some faith traditions reject alcohol as an intoxicant that invites bad behavior and abuse. Observant Muslims and Mormons, among others, abstain from drinking on religious grounds.
Last year, an evangelical church targeting young adults in the St. Louis area got in trouble with the Missouri Baptist Convention for holding a church ministry at a microbrewery. (The Southern Baptist Convention opposes making, advertising, distributing and consuming alcohol).
At Denver's Great American Beer Festival, four ex-Mormons who met at Utah State University ran a booth selling "X-Communicated Mormon Drinking Team" T-shirts, sweatshirts and other products.
"Our business model is to sell enough T-shirts to pay the cost of a group of our friends getting together and having fun for the weekend," said Mike Hansen, 36, of Whitefish, Montana.
Another entrepreneur peddled "WWJB: What Would Jesus Brew?" T-shirts, with an image of a smiling Jesus with a mash paddle in one hand and a pint glass in the other.
Vinnie Cilurzo of Russian River Brewing Co. in Santa Rosa, California, brews a series of religion-themed beers that began with "Damnation." A strong golden ale, the beer's name is a nod to the great Belgian beer Duval, which comes from the Flemish word for devil.
A restaurant around the corner from Cilurzo's brewery refused to stock it.
"It all started with 'Damnation,"' said Cilurzo, who has no religious affiliation. "I felt like if we started with 'Damnation,' we needed to be redeemed. We needed 'Salvation."'
Cilurzo's latest creation, Consecration, was a festival hit and an answered prayer -- a richly textured sour ale aged for nine months in Cabernet Sauvignon barrels with black currants.
God is good.
Monday, October 20, 2008
The End Is Near?
I received this e-mail yesterday (it wasn't the first time) and it really ticked me off:
So, I just had to respond. Let's first examine what Revelations 13 actually says, shall we?
Okay, so let's look at the e-mail and figure this out:
1st: The Anti-Christ will be a man.
Actual: Then I saw another beast, coming out of the earth. He had two horns like a lamb, but he spoke like a dragon.
Um, it says he's a beast. It says he has two horns like a lamb, but speaks like a dragon. I'm not exactly sure where people interpret that as a man, but we'll let this one go for now.
2nd: He will be... a man, in his 40's...
Actual: Doesn't mention his age at all.
3rd: He will be... of MUSLIM descent...
Actual: Doesn't mention that at all. In fact, ISLAM wasn't even created until four centuries after the writing of Revelations.
4th: He will be one... who will deceive the nations with
persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....the prophecy says
that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace,
and when he is in power, will destroy everything.
Actual: Well, Revelations 13 says some of this. But some of it is only an interpretation of the rest of Revelations. The truth is that the Anti-Christ will not win, so he can't destroy everything. Ultimately, he will be destroyed in Christ's second coming. This, of course, is the whole reason this e-mail is so preposterous.
You see, IF BARACK OBAMA was the Anti-Christ, then all of you whose names are not written in the Book of Life are pretty much screwed anyway. The Bible says:
All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast—all whose names have not been written in the book of life belonging to the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.
All inhabitants... which includes most of us. But here's the thing, this is a pre-ordained thing, right? That means that whether you VOTE for Barack Obama or not, it doesn't matter. If he really is the Anti-Christ, he will still come to power. There will still be the mark of Satan. And the world will still come to an end at its appointed time. In fact, if you really truly do believe that Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ, you'd be better off not even worrying about this election. You should be getting your religious house in order, praying for forgiveness and getting your soul in line with Christ in a big hurry, because the END IS NEAR!
I'm growing sick and tired of people selectively reading the Bible as a means to score points - political, social, or whatever. The last group of people who did this, as I recall, were the religious leaders of Jesus's day - who found justification to murder God in the scrolls of the Torah. How many times do we have to use the Bible to destroy people's hopes, dreams, and lives, before we stop reliving that day some 2000 years ago? Well, if this e-mail is correct, maybe not much longer.
In California right now, we have a very contentious amendment to the California State Constitution on the ballot - Proposition 8 - which seeks to forever clarify marriage as being that of a man and woman. Now personally, I don't really care where people stand on this issue one way or the other. What I really hate is when people argue the issue on religious grounds. The Bible tells them that its okay to persecute a population and that, as a result, we all have the right to persecute these people. I see "religious" rallies on the News where people say such venomous things because the Bible tells them that its okay, so long as the outcome conforms to what the Bible says. Kill Jesus for being unclean! He ate with the lepers and the tax collectors! Kill him! KILL HIM! He HEALED people on the SABBATH! Doesn't He know that's against the Bible! It says so right here!
I think the perfect solution might just be a taste of their own medicine. After all, if Proposition 8 passes, it will amend the Constitution of California. There will be no other debate about it, unless you can get the Amendment repealed or overturned by the Supreme Court. So, instead of fighting for the right to marry, I think those affected by this proposition ought to put a new Amendment on the ballot defining marriage as Permanent before the Eyes of God - I.E. No More Divorce! I say, if they love marriage that much, let's follow the strict Biblical interpretation and outlaw divorce again! It'll never pass... but it will expose the hypocrites for what they are.
Of course, I think we all know what happens when hypocrites are exposed... someone is arrested in the garden late at night and executed the next day.
The more we change, the more we stay the same. Only God can heal our sinful hearts.
According to The Book of Revelations the anti-Christ is: The anti-Christ will
be a man, in his 40's, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with
persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....the prophecy says
that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace,
and when he is in power, will destroy everything..
Do we recognize this description??
I STRONGLY URGE each one of you to post this as many times as
you can! Each opportunity that you have to send it to a friend or media outlet..do it!
I refuse to take a chance on this unknown candidate who came out of nowhere.
So, I just had to respond. Let's first examine what Revelations 13 actually says, shall we?
Revelation 13
1And the dragon[a] stood on the shore of the sea.
The Beast out of the Sea
And I saw a beast coming out of the sea. He had ten horns and seven heads, with ten crowns on his horns, and on each head a blasphemous name. 2The beast I saw resembled a leopard, but had feet like those of a bear and a mouth like that of a lion. The dragon gave the beast his power and his throne and great authority. 3One of the heads of the beast seemed to have had a fatal wound, but the fatal wound had been healed. The whole world was astonished and followed the beast. 4Men worshiped the dragon because he had given authority to the beast, and they also worshiped the beast and asked, "Who is like the beast? Who can make war against him?"
5The beast was given a mouth to utter proud words and blasphemies and to exercise his authority for forty-two months. 6He opened his mouth to blaspheme God, and to slander his name and his dwelling place and those who live in heaven. 7He was given power to make war against the saints and to conquer them. And he was given authority over every tribe, people, language and nation. 8All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast—all whose names have not been written in the book of life belonging to the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.[b]
9He who has an ear, let him hear.
10If anyone is to go into captivity,
into captivity he will go.
If anyone is to be killed[c] with the sword,
with the sword he will be killed. This calls for patient endurance and faithfulness on the part of the saints.
The Beast out of the Earth
11Then I saw another beast, coming out of the earth. He had two horns like a lamb, but he spoke like a dragon. 12He exercised all the authority of the first beast on his behalf, and made the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose fatal wound had been healed. 13And he performed great and miraculous signs, even causing fire to come down from heaven to earth in full view of men. 14Because of the signs he was given power to do on behalf of the first beast, he deceived the inhabitants of the earth. He ordered them to set up an image in honor of the beast who was wounded by the sword and yet lived. 15He was given power to give breath to the image of the first beast, so that it could speak and cause all who refused to worship the image to be killed. 16He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, 17so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name.
18This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666.
Okay, so let's look at the e-mail and figure this out:
1st: The Anti-Christ will be a man.
Actual: Then I saw another beast, coming out of the earth. He had two horns like a lamb, but he spoke like a dragon.
Um, it says he's a beast. It says he has two horns like a lamb, but speaks like a dragon. I'm not exactly sure where people interpret that as a man, but we'll let this one go for now.
2nd: He will be... a man, in his 40's...
Actual: Doesn't mention his age at all.
3rd: He will be... of MUSLIM descent...
Actual: Doesn't mention that at all. In fact, ISLAM wasn't even created until four centuries after the writing of Revelations.
4th: He will be one... who will deceive the nations with
persuasive language, and have a MASSIVE Christ-like appeal....the prophecy says
that people will flock to him and he will promise false hope and world peace,
and when he is in power, will destroy everything.
Actual: Well, Revelations 13 says some of this. But some of it is only an interpretation of the rest of Revelations. The truth is that the Anti-Christ will not win, so he can't destroy everything. Ultimately, he will be destroyed in Christ's second coming. This, of course, is the whole reason this e-mail is so preposterous.
You see, IF BARACK OBAMA was the Anti-Christ, then all of you whose names are not written in the Book of Life are pretty much screwed anyway. The Bible says:
All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast—all whose names have not been written in the book of life belonging to the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.
All inhabitants... which includes most of us. But here's the thing, this is a pre-ordained thing, right? That means that whether you VOTE for Barack Obama or not, it doesn't matter. If he really is the Anti-Christ, he will still come to power. There will still be the mark of Satan. And the world will still come to an end at its appointed time. In fact, if you really truly do believe that Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ, you'd be better off not even worrying about this election. You should be getting your religious house in order, praying for forgiveness and getting your soul in line with Christ in a big hurry, because the END IS NEAR!
I'm growing sick and tired of people selectively reading the Bible as a means to score points - political, social, or whatever. The last group of people who did this, as I recall, were the religious leaders of Jesus's day - who found justification to murder God in the scrolls of the Torah. How many times do we have to use the Bible to destroy people's hopes, dreams, and lives, before we stop reliving that day some 2000 years ago? Well, if this e-mail is correct, maybe not much longer.
In California right now, we have a very contentious amendment to the California State Constitution on the ballot - Proposition 8 - which seeks to forever clarify marriage as being that of a man and woman. Now personally, I don't really care where people stand on this issue one way or the other. What I really hate is when people argue the issue on religious grounds. The Bible tells them that its okay to persecute a population and that, as a result, we all have the right to persecute these people. I see "religious" rallies on the News where people say such venomous things because the Bible tells them that its okay, so long as the outcome conforms to what the Bible says. Kill Jesus for being unclean! He ate with the lepers and the tax collectors! Kill him! KILL HIM! He HEALED people on the SABBATH! Doesn't He know that's against the Bible! It says so right here!
I think the perfect solution might just be a taste of their own medicine. After all, if Proposition 8 passes, it will amend the Constitution of California. There will be no other debate about it, unless you can get the Amendment repealed or overturned by the Supreme Court. So, instead of fighting for the right to marry, I think those affected by this proposition ought to put a new Amendment on the ballot defining marriage as Permanent before the Eyes of God - I.E. No More Divorce! I say, if they love marriage that much, let's follow the strict Biblical interpretation and outlaw divorce again! It'll never pass... but it will expose the hypocrites for what they are.
Of course, I think we all know what happens when hypocrites are exposed... someone is arrested in the garden late at night and executed the next day.
The more we change, the more we stay the same. Only God can heal our sinful hearts.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Alternate Views on Tonight's Debate
WHAT WE'D LIKE TO HEAR:
"You know Senator McCain, that's a really good idea and when I'm President, I'll be calling on patriots like you and others with great ideas to figure out a way out of this crisis. Its time to end the partisan bickering that has paralyzed our nation and that still cripples us to this day. I'd like to pledge an end to the negative ads, the lies, and the distortions over the final three weeks of my campaign so that the American people can hear, for once and for all, the truth from both Senator McCain and myself. Will you join me, John?"
"Yes I will Senator Obama. I, too, have been ashamed by some of the nasty tactics employed by both parties in this election. They are Un-American and dangerous in these tough times. We would both be completely cynical indeed to continue these false attacks at a time when the American people need us to be entirely up front and straight forward with them. From here on out, my campaign pledges to be truthful, honest, and respectful of the high office that I seek."
WHAT WE'RE LIKELY TO HEAR (*sigh*):
"My opponent is, IN FACT, the mastermind behind the entire economic crisis and the one who has been pulling George Bush's strings for the last 8 years. Senator McCain actually collaborated with the Viet Cong during the war and has never once voted for a single bill in Congress that didn't help destroy this great nation."
"My Arab counterpart is so much of a terrorist that you can't believe a single word coming out of his lying, Al-Qaeda mouth! If Osama's elected, you'll all be blown to bits by terrorists and then taxed for the bomb making equipment!"
Is anybody else ready for the election to be over yet?
"You know Senator McCain, that's a really good idea and when I'm President, I'll be calling on patriots like you and others with great ideas to figure out a way out of this crisis. Its time to end the partisan bickering that has paralyzed our nation and that still cripples us to this day. I'd like to pledge an end to the negative ads, the lies, and the distortions over the final three weeks of my campaign so that the American people can hear, for once and for all, the truth from both Senator McCain and myself. Will you join me, John?"
"Yes I will Senator Obama. I, too, have been ashamed by some of the nasty tactics employed by both parties in this election. They are Un-American and dangerous in these tough times. We would both be completely cynical indeed to continue these false attacks at a time when the American people need us to be entirely up front and straight forward with them. From here on out, my campaign pledges to be truthful, honest, and respectful of the high office that I seek."
WHAT WE'RE LIKELY TO HEAR (*sigh*):
"My opponent is, IN FACT, the mastermind behind the entire economic crisis and the one who has been pulling George Bush's strings for the last 8 years. Senator McCain actually collaborated with the Viet Cong during the war and has never once voted for a single bill in Congress that didn't help destroy this great nation."
"My Arab counterpart is so much of a terrorist that you can't believe a single word coming out of his lying, Al-Qaeda mouth! If Osama's elected, you'll all be blown to bits by terrorists and then taxed for the bomb making equipment!"
Is anybody else ready for the election to be over yet?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Things hoped for
I never claimed to understand God's plan - just to follow it. But there are times when I feel like I'm just doing things and claiming that God has sanctioned it because HE hasn't said no. Day to day things or, sometimes, even life altering decisions can FEEL right, but are they God's design? Sometimes, I just have to have faith that God will let me roam forward and rein me back in whenever I get too far afield.
It's really felt that way when it comes to making films. I can't deny that I've always loved films and always assumed that I would be a film maker someday. But life intervenes, and to be fair, the few times that I've tried to become a film maker, things have not gone well and I've never really bonded with the process. But this time has been different.
I started back into the film world because I was asked by my youth group members to help them make a film. I did, but was so disappointed with the outcome that a crazy idea came to me - go back to film school. I did... without any idea where this would lead me. When I realized that it was time to make my first film, I became enamored with the idea of shooting the film at my church. Something told me that this was the way to go and that the church would be open to the idea. They were and I shot the film there. I thought that would be the end of the story - that my church shooting time was over and I was glad to move on to more professional film shoots that had nothing to do with my church.
Out of the clear blue, I got a request from one of the film makers who helped me with the film if they could use my church for a film (a film, not too ironically, about redemption and faith). In the back of my mind, in my wildest dreams, I had imagined that I might someday plant a seed for someone to remember my church. It hasn't been two months since I stopped filming and already those seeds are growing.
A month ago my sound class was assigned a documentary film to shoot. When I met with my group to discuss possible subjects the first idea floated was to interview a crack addict that lived near one of the guys jobs (he's a bouncer at a downtown club). I started to wonder what I was getting myself into. Fortunately, someone else suggested doing a documentary about a group of people who train formerly homeless people to install solar panels. This group was going to have an installation training in Richmond and we all agreed that this sounded like a good idea. But, the training was canceled and our documentary was without a subject. I then remembered that my church was giving a concert in honor of the International Year of the Organ and because it was the fifth anniversary of our new pipe organ. It being a sound class, I thought this might be a good subject for the documentary. So with a little trepidation, I mentioned the idea to my group, and they all liked it.
I bring this up because this weekend we shot the film. Not only did the filming go smoothly but, to my great surprise, my organist suddenly discovered two new fans. They loved the organ. They loved to hear about how it was built and how it made sound. They promised to go to the concert. Then we spent two hours going around my church sanctuary in a love fest of beautiful film making to match the beautiful organ music we'd recorded. I can't wait to see the final documentary because my church might not ever look that good again.
The lesson I learned this week is that God is the ultimate producer. He maneuvered all the pieces around this weekend in a way that not only accomplished the task of making a great film, but also of glorifying His name and His church. We are amateurs when it comes to planning things out and getting pieces in place and then hoping that things turn out the way we planned. With God, completion is a guarantee and the results are never in doubt. He maneuvers things years in advance before any of us even suspect that we are being maneuvered; so that in all things, whether it be crossing the street or saving the Earth, His plan is the one that is accomplished. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, but I think its also the only chance we can ever get to seeing some of God's plan in action. To see, you must first believe.
It's really felt that way when it comes to making films. I can't deny that I've always loved films and always assumed that I would be a film maker someday. But life intervenes, and to be fair, the few times that I've tried to become a film maker, things have not gone well and I've never really bonded with the process. But this time has been different.
I started back into the film world because I was asked by my youth group members to help them make a film. I did, but was so disappointed with the outcome that a crazy idea came to me - go back to film school. I did... without any idea where this would lead me. When I realized that it was time to make my first film, I became enamored with the idea of shooting the film at my church. Something told me that this was the way to go and that the church would be open to the idea. They were and I shot the film there. I thought that would be the end of the story - that my church shooting time was over and I was glad to move on to more professional film shoots that had nothing to do with my church.
Out of the clear blue, I got a request from one of the film makers who helped me with the film if they could use my church for a film (a film, not too ironically, about redemption and faith). In the back of my mind, in my wildest dreams, I had imagined that I might someday plant a seed for someone to remember my church. It hasn't been two months since I stopped filming and already those seeds are growing.
A month ago my sound class was assigned a documentary film to shoot. When I met with my group to discuss possible subjects the first idea floated was to interview a crack addict that lived near one of the guys jobs (he's a bouncer at a downtown club). I started to wonder what I was getting myself into. Fortunately, someone else suggested doing a documentary about a group of people who train formerly homeless people to install solar panels. This group was going to have an installation training in Richmond and we all agreed that this sounded like a good idea. But, the training was canceled and our documentary was without a subject. I then remembered that my church was giving a concert in honor of the International Year of the Organ and because it was the fifth anniversary of our new pipe organ. It being a sound class, I thought this might be a good subject for the documentary. So with a little trepidation, I mentioned the idea to my group, and they all liked it.
I bring this up because this weekend we shot the film. Not only did the filming go smoothly but, to my great surprise, my organist suddenly discovered two new fans. They loved the organ. They loved to hear about how it was built and how it made sound. They promised to go to the concert. Then we spent two hours going around my church sanctuary in a love fest of beautiful film making to match the beautiful organ music we'd recorded. I can't wait to see the final documentary because my church might not ever look that good again.
The lesson I learned this week is that God is the ultimate producer. He maneuvered all the pieces around this weekend in a way that not only accomplished the task of making a great film, but also of glorifying His name and His church. We are amateurs when it comes to planning things out and getting pieces in place and then hoping that things turn out the way we planned. With God, completion is a guarantee and the results are never in doubt. He maneuvers things years in advance before any of us even suspect that we are being maneuvered; so that in all things, whether it be crossing the street or saving the Earth, His plan is the one that is accomplished. Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, but I think its also the only chance we can ever get to seeing some of God's plan in action. To see, you must first believe.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!
History of Thanksgiving in Canada
The history of Thanksgiving in Canada goes back to an explorer, Martin Frobisher, who had been trying to find a northern passage to the Orient. In the year 1578, he held a formal ceremony, in what is now the province of Newfoundland and Labrador, to give thanks for surviving the long journey. The feast was one of the first Thanksgiving celebrations in North America, although celebrating the harvest and giving thanks for a successful bounty of crops had been a long-standing tradition throughout North America by various First Nations and Native American groups. First Nations and Native Americans throughout the Americas, including the Pueblo, Cherokee, Cree and many others organized harvest festivals, ceremonial dances, and other celebrations of thanks for centuries before the arrival of Europeans in North America [7]. Frobisher was later knighted and had an inlet of the Atlantic Ocean in northern Canada named after him — Frobisher Bay.
At the same time, French settlers, having crossed the ocean and arrived in Canada with explorer Samuel de Champlain, also held huge feasts of thanks. They even formed 'The Order of Good Cheer' and gladly shared their food with their First Nations neighbours.
After the Seven Years' War ended in 1763 handing over New France to the British, the citizens of Halifax held a special day of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving days were observed beginning in 1799 but did not occur every year. After the American Revolution, American refugees who remained loyal to Great Britain moved from the United States and came to Canada. They brought the customs and practices of the American Thanksgiving to Canada. The first Thanksgiving Day after Canadian Confederation was observed as a civic holiday on April 5, 1872 to celebrate the recovery of the Prince of Wales (later King Edward VII) from a serious illness.
Starting in 1879 Thanksgiving Day was observed every year but the date was proclaimed annually and changed year to year. The theme of the Thanksgiving holiday also changed year to year to reflect an important event to be thankful for. In the early years it was for an abundant harvest and occasionally for a special anniversary.
After World War I, both Armistice Day and Thanksgiving were celebrated on the Monday of the week in which November 11 occurred. Ten years later, in 1931, the two days became separate holidays, and Armistice Day was renamed Remembrance Day.
On January 31, 1957, the Canadian Parliament proclaimed:
“ A Day of General Thanksgiving to Almighty God for the bountiful harvest with which Canada has been blessed … to be observed on the 2nd Monday in October.[1]
From Wikipedia
My own experiences with Canada began in 1986. As my last family vacation, we drove north from San Francisco stopping in Portland and in Seattle to visit relatives along the way before arriving in Vancouver for the 1986 World Expo.
This incredible event was well attended by major corporations and governments of the world including huge pavilions from the USSR (a warehouse sized model of the Soviet Union complete with model trains that had to be seen from a catwalk above), the United States (a recreation of the up and coming International Space Station), Disney - (in essence, it was the entire Space Ship Earth ride from Epcot), and Belgium (entirely dedicated to Tintin - yay!). They had decent rides including a two loop roller coaster whose loops were in between two separate sections of a freeway, a really great log ride, and a giant parachute drop.
But the thing I remember most about Vancouver from that trip was Fog N Suds - a local brew pub that is still in existence. They had a FogNSuds burger there that is still one of the all time great burgers ever. It was basically two 1/2 lb patties served Big Mac style on a double decker bun, but with an additional deck that included a fresh off the grill sausage. The entire thing was bigger than my mouth and I literally had to crush the entire sandwich into a thin pulp just to fit it in my mouth. But not to worry, because while I was trying to satisfy my teenagerish stomach, I had plenty to keep me entertained as a local cheerleading squad was across the street in the parking lot in bikini's doing a car wash for charity. Ah, Canada... I will never forget thee.
I've been back to Vancouver once more, Victoria twice, and Toronto and Montreal once each. I really loved Toronto, but wasn't a big fan of Montreal. But overall, I've loved Canada every time I've visited. It seems to me like they're our nice, kind, and respectable neighbors to the North - the Ned Flanders of the North American Continent.
So, Hi-dee-hoe neighorette's... and have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday, eh!
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Volunteers needed
So what have I been up to lately?
Besides an Advanced Cinematography class and an Advanced Sound for Film class, both of which have had me shooting assignments pretty much every weekend for the last month, I've been busy doing things for the website and other projects. I'm hoping to finish filming 12 Step Jedi this weekend, for one. And I've been working on the new website for another (about 40% done so far). I should have a preview up for 12 Step Jedi and the first episode of Adventure Saturday up as well when the new website launches. I would have had it online by now, but all this extra work made me vulnerable to the flu and I've only just recovered.
But the biggest news, for me anyway, is that I've been actively working on my second novel. You see, only about ten days ago, I had an idea out of the clear blue (after the Mudpie idea, Andy) and I liked it so much that I just started writing out the outline of the entire novel. It took me only three days to figure out the entire story from beginning to end (although I have two endings in mind, depending on the outcome of the poll from the previous blog). Since then I've been using every spare moment I've had to write the first draft of the synopsis for this new novel.
So, here's the gist of the new story in a word or two - Amelia Earhart, time traveler.
Of course, nothing I write is that simple, but that was the hook that got me into the story.
Anyway, I thought that instead of handing out 250-300 page flawed novels to my friends and family and begging them to read it and tell me what was wrong with it, that I'd start this time by having people read and comment on a much more manageable 20 page synopsis. That way I can fix the story problems before I actually write the darn thing. So I need some volunteers who are willing to thumb through a very basic synopsis and tell me what they think and whether there are any obvious flaws in the story. Its kind of like getting to taste the cookie dough to determine if there's enough sugar before the cookies go into the oven.
So, any volunteers?
Besides an Advanced Cinematography class and an Advanced Sound for Film class, both of which have had me shooting assignments pretty much every weekend for the last month, I've been busy doing things for the website and other projects. I'm hoping to finish filming 12 Step Jedi this weekend, for one. And I've been working on the new website for another (about 40% done so far). I should have a preview up for 12 Step Jedi and the first episode of Adventure Saturday up as well when the new website launches. I would have had it online by now, but all this extra work made me vulnerable to the flu and I've only just recovered.
But the biggest news, for me anyway, is that I've been actively working on my second novel. You see, only about ten days ago, I had an idea out of the clear blue (after the Mudpie idea, Andy) and I liked it so much that I just started writing out the outline of the entire novel. It took me only three days to figure out the entire story from beginning to end (although I have two endings in mind, depending on the outcome of the poll from the previous blog). Since then I've been using every spare moment I've had to write the first draft of the synopsis for this new novel.
So, here's the gist of the new story in a word or two - Amelia Earhart, time traveler.
Of course, nothing I write is that simple, but that was the hook that got me into the story.
Anyway, I thought that instead of handing out 250-300 page flawed novels to my friends and family and begging them to read it and tell me what was wrong with it, that I'd start this time by having people read and comment on a much more manageable 20 page synopsis. That way I can fix the story problems before I actually write the darn thing. So I need some volunteers who are willing to thumb through a very basic synopsis and tell me what they think and whether there are any obvious flaws in the story. Its kind of like getting to taste the cookie dough to determine if there's enough sugar before the cookies go into the oven.
So, any volunteers?
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Blindness
You know how people always say that hindsight is 20/20. Of course, we all know that it means that if we could look backwards, we'd never make a mistake. But I'm not entirely sure that's true. There's a very good reason that history repeats itself and I think that it has something to do with the source of blindness, or nearsightedness, that overcomes us all from time to time. When it comes to the human heart, greed makes us all blind.
There is no mistake in the fact that Jesus was born into the poorest of poor families - with just enough to get by in this world. Not only did the young family have to rely upon God to feed them and keep them safe, but there was no real chance for any upward mobility. The irony of the statement, "The poor will always be with us," is that Jesus was poor himself. If you think about it, a great many parables of Jesus speak to money - whether it be talents being put to use or the daily wages of workers or lost coins, Jesus was a poor man who spoke to the poor about a kingdom not of this Earth where wealth and worth were to be measured in our value to others in service to them.
It is hard for us to imagine the Kingdom of Heaven, let alone see it, because of this blindness that engulfs us all. We want our lives and we want our homes and we want our friends and we want our money and then we want even more. And every time we want something we don't have and we don't need, we grow more blind. Like Children running a muck in a candy store, we are gorging ourselves on greed.
Its not just a recent issue. In 2001, when I first started at this company, the decision was made to switch over from a profit sharing plan to a 401K plan. The entire company was brought into the conference room and we sat down across from some bankers. The bankers started throwing out their numbers with smiles and rosy pictures. It was all going to be SO golden. Now, at that point, I had not invested a single dollar into either program, but many of my co-workers had their entire retirement savings in the plan. So I asked, "What happens if this rosy picture you're painting isn't as rosy as you expect?" It was like I had popped the party balloon. Everyone, and I mean everyone, looked at me as if I was insane.
"Well, there are risks, of course," the bankers hedged, "But really, the market always keeps going up. So any money you invest will eventually pay off with huge dividends."
"But what if it doesn't?" I persisted.
"It will," they replied.
Two months later, our 401K plans went into effect, transferring all the money that my co-workers had earned over the previous twenty years with the company into these stock market plans. For my own part, I contributed nearly $100 of my hard earned money to my 401K. The next day, crazed Muslim extremists flew two planes into the World Trade Center in New York and one plane into the Pentagon. Every single person in my company lost 25% of their savings from a plan that would, "eventually pay off with huge dividends." I lost $25. Some of my co-workers lost a thousand times that, or more.
Of course, nobody learns these things. Its like they no longer explain the concept that things too good to be true, usually are. Housing costs continue to go up... so they always will. Stock Markets never go down, so they never will. It can't happen here, until it does. What is the one underlying cause of this blindness?
Greed. Pure and simple. Not the kind of salivating Lothario with the twisty handlebar mustache kind of greed, but the kind that says, "I have a pretty good life, but I still want more." Its a more benign form, but still every bit as dangerous and disastrous.
Those bankers weren't bad people. They weren't trying to mislead the people of my company. They, like my co-workers, were convinced that what they were saying was true. But they were basing their convictions on false evidence and on their own assumptions about the world and about the unchanging nature of things. They assumed that since everything was doing fine today, it would continue to do so into the future. Their faith in the financial institutions was based upon a very limited knowledge of the future. My response to them was borne out of a faith of a different nature - a faith in God who tells me that, "Even these walls shall one day crumble." The only thing that is constant in life is God and His love for me - all other things are sketchy at best. Their view of the world was skewed by the idea that because they had gained so much wealth before, the world would continue to provide it to them and to all who did as they did.
So at the core of the world's problems right now is a fundamental blindness caused by Greed. Those who had, wanted more. Those who didn't have, wanted in. It was the world's largest and most elaborate Ponzi scheme ever devised - most bubbles are. And, as usual, the repercussions will be felt by everyone - guilty and innocent alike.
I read the other day of a "poor" couple who were about to become homeless with their three kids. It seems that this Northern California couple invested the equity in their long held family home and bought another home with it, which they rented out to tenants - whose rent was used to pay off the mortgage. This worked so successfully that they used the equity on the second home to buy a third, and then a fourth, and then a fifth. And it all worked so wonderfully. For a few years, they were very well off and enjoying life. And then the market collapsed and the values of these new homes plunged. And suddenly this family couldn't afford the mortgages on the new homes, nor on their own home. In the end, I can only assume that they lost everything.
Its easy to look back and ask, "What we're they thinking?" But I'm telling you my friends, if you want to keep from stumbling in the darkness of blindness, you need to keep your eyes open now, not in hindsight. What they were thinking is that they didn't have enough already and that with a few quick and easy "turns" of these new homes, they could become even more wealthy than they already were. And as a result, they lost everything. They gambled their own home on four others, and temporarily won, but ultimately lost. How much more the Kingdom of Heaven?
This is the attitude that has brought us to this point. It is nothing new. It did us in in 1988. It did us in in 1929. It did us in in 1898. It did us in in the 1870's. It has done us in in every nation and every land we've come from. It did in the Kingdom of Israel. It did in the Kingdom of Judah. It did in Egypt. It is a human condition that goes back to the fall of Man.
The only hope is to humble our ambitions and walk closely with God. All other paths will leave us stumbling in the dark in a state of blindness of our own choosing. We can have perfect clarity in God and avoid the pitfalls and snares of this world, but to do so, we first have to renounce the importance of things and embrace the omnipotence of God.
There is no mistake in the fact that Jesus was born into the poorest of poor families - with just enough to get by in this world. Not only did the young family have to rely upon God to feed them and keep them safe, but there was no real chance for any upward mobility. The irony of the statement, "The poor will always be with us," is that Jesus was poor himself. If you think about it, a great many parables of Jesus speak to money - whether it be talents being put to use or the daily wages of workers or lost coins, Jesus was a poor man who spoke to the poor about a kingdom not of this Earth where wealth and worth were to be measured in our value to others in service to them.
It is hard for us to imagine the Kingdom of Heaven, let alone see it, because of this blindness that engulfs us all. We want our lives and we want our homes and we want our friends and we want our money and then we want even more. And every time we want something we don't have and we don't need, we grow more blind. Like Children running a muck in a candy store, we are gorging ourselves on greed.
Its not just a recent issue. In 2001, when I first started at this company, the decision was made to switch over from a profit sharing plan to a 401K plan. The entire company was brought into the conference room and we sat down across from some bankers. The bankers started throwing out their numbers with smiles and rosy pictures. It was all going to be SO golden. Now, at that point, I had not invested a single dollar into either program, but many of my co-workers had their entire retirement savings in the plan. So I asked, "What happens if this rosy picture you're painting isn't as rosy as you expect?" It was like I had popped the party balloon. Everyone, and I mean everyone, looked at me as if I was insane.
"Well, there are risks, of course," the bankers hedged, "But really, the market always keeps going up. So any money you invest will eventually pay off with huge dividends."
"But what if it doesn't?" I persisted.
"It will," they replied.
Two months later, our 401K plans went into effect, transferring all the money that my co-workers had earned over the previous twenty years with the company into these stock market plans. For my own part, I contributed nearly $100 of my hard earned money to my 401K. The next day, crazed Muslim extremists flew two planes into the World Trade Center in New York and one plane into the Pentagon. Every single person in my company lost 25% of their savings from a plan that would, "eventually pay off with huge dividends." I lost $25. Some of my co-workers lost a thousand times that, or more.
Of course, nobody learns these things. Its like they no longer explain the concept that things too good to be true, usually are. Housing costs continue to go up... so they always will. Stock Markets never go down, so they never will. It can't happen here, until it does. What is the one underlying cause of this blindness?
Greed. Pure and simple. Not the kind of salivating Lothario with the twisty handlebar mustache kind of greed, but the kind that says, "I have a pretty good life, but I still want more." Its a more benign form, but still every bit as dangerous and disastrous.
Those bankers weren't bad people. They weren't trying to mislead the people of my company. They, like my co-workers, were convinced that what they were saying was true. But they were basing their convictions on false evidence and on their own assumptions about the world and about the unchanging nature of things. They assumed that since everything was doing fine today, it would continue to do so into the future. Their faith in the financial institutions was based upon a very limited knowledge of the future. My response to them was borne out of a faith of a different nature - a faith in God who tells me that, "Even these walls shall one day crumble." The only thing that is constant in life is God and His love for me - all other things are sketchy at best. Their view of the world was skewed by the idea that because they had gained so much wealth before, the world would continue to provide it to them and to all who did as they did.
So at the core of the world's problems right now is a fundamental blindness caused by Greed. Those who had, wanted more. Those who didn't have, wanted in. It was the world's largest and most elaborate Ponzi scheme ever devised - most bubbles are. And, as usual, the repercussions will be felt by everyone - guilty and innocent alike.
I read the other day of a "poor" couple who were about to become homeless with their three kids. It seems that this Northern California couple invested the equity in their long held family home and bought another home with it, which they rented out to tenants - whose rent was used to pay off the mortgage. This worked so successfully that they used the equity on the second home to buy a third, and then a fourth, and then a fifth. And it all worked so wonderfully. For a few years, they were very well off and enjoying life. And then the market collapsed and the values of these new homes plunged. And suddenly this family couldn't afford the mortgages on the new homes, nor on their own home. In the end, I can only assume that they lost everything.
Its easy to look back and ask, "What we're they thinking?" But I'm telling you my friends, if you want to keep from stumbling in the darkness of blindness, you need to keep your eyes open now, not in hindsight. What they were thinking is that they didn't have enough already and that with a few quick and easy "turns" of these new homes, they could become even more wealthy than they already were. And as a result, they lost everything. They gambled their own home on four others, and temporarily won, but ultimately lost. How much more the Kingdom of Heaven?
This is the attitude that has brought us to this point. It is nothing new. It did us in in 1988. It did us in in 1929. It did us in in 1898. It did us in in the 1870's. It has done us in in every nation and every land we've come from. It did in the Kingdom of Israel. It did in the Kingdom of Judah. It did in Egypt. It is a human condition that goes back to the fall of Man.
The only hope is to humble our ambitions and walk closely with God. All other paths will leave us stumbling in the dark in a state of blindness of our own choosing. We can have perfect clarity in God and avoid the pitfalls and snares of this world, but to do so, we first have to renounce the importance of things and embrace the omnipotence of God.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Work and Pray
"There are many rooms in my mansion... and they all need cleaning!"
Sometimes I get really strange ideas in the shower. My mind tends to drift with the hot water and I make connections in ways that I never made them before - sort of a bi-partisan creative mode that brings ideas from one side of the mind over to mingle with ideas from the other side of the mind to create new ideas that are the best of both worlds. Often times the path that these thoughts take is lost in the hot water. But in this case, it was painful memories that dredged up the above quote.
A great servant of the Lord passed away last week - a man who served at my church for many, many years. Most of the time we got along well, but there was one stretch where things were very disfunctional at my church and he said something to me that just shocked me. It was a reminder of that quote that led to the above quote.
You see, I was the head of a Welcoming Committee at my church and it was my job to find ushers every week. The ushers not only greeted people who came to church on Sunday, but also collected the offering. There were always four ushers. Now, normally, it was no problem finding ushers. It's like a three minute job and there are usually a ton of volunteers. But during this one stretch when things were so disfunctional, I suddenly found my supply of volunteers dwindling to the point where a couple of times, I was the only usher.
Finally, at one point near the end of all these troubles, said servant of the Lord came up to me and explained that he and his group of dissenters would not be volunteering any more because of the disfunction in the church. Like I said, I was very shocked.
I admit at times that it feels as if we're all overburdened with our jobs. Heck, I was just replaced as youth leader at my church (unofficially - I think they're hoping I'll come back... and I might ;) because my real life load was getting too burdensome. I know that on one particular fund raiser after I'd organized, set up, cooked, and served, someone was still upset because I didn't help clean up as well (though I was actually helping clean up at the time, I guess I hadn't quite helped enough ;) But I always like to think that I've chipped in and helped as much as humanly possible whenever I could reasonably lend a hand. But to willfully go on strike to make a point that has nothing to do with Christ but has everything to do with church politics made no sense to me.
It seems that when we are called to be servants of Christ, we are explained the rules of our employment. We are told that the road will be hard. We are told that there is a lot of work to do. We are told that this path is not for everyone and that, indeed, many who start on this path will not reach the end. And we are told that our decision to join is entirely up to us. It is a decision that we get to make. Its not made for us. And its a decision that should be made joyfully, fully aware of the burdens we are about to take on.
How many of us know people who have arrived at the Mansion and at the first sign of chores have quietly slipped out the back to soak in the sun by the pool? Work is for others. It is beneath them. They have not joined this religion to do work. They have joined for all the fringe benefits. And when they are cornered and asked to work, they do so with grumbles and complaints and then talk up their accomplishments as if they're secretly running the entire household behind our backs.
I think we're all given to fits and piques over the hard labor of the Lord. There are times where we all grumble, but then we keep going, we keep doing, because there are many rooms... and they all need to be cleaned... and they're not going to clean themselves.
Sometimes I get really strange ideas in the shower. My mind tends to drift with the hot water and I make connections in ways that I never made them before - sort of a bi-partisan creative mode that brings ideas from one side of the mind over to mingle with ideas from the other side of the mind to create new ideas that are the best of both worlds. Often times the path that these thoughts take is lost in the hot water. But in this case, it was painful memories that dredged up the above quote.
A great servant of the Lord passed away last week - a man who served at my church for many, many years. Most of the time we got along well, but there was one stretch where things were very disfunctional at my church and he said something to me that just shocked me. It was a reminder of that quote that led to the above quote.
You see, I was the head of a Welcoming Committee at my church and it was my job to find ushers every week. The ushers not only greeted people who came to church on Sunday, but also collected the offering. There were always four ushers. Now, normally, it was no problem finding ushers. It's like a three minute job and there are usually a ton of volunteers. But during this one stretch when things were so disfunctional, I suddenly found my supply of volunteers dwindling to the point where a couple of times, I was the only usher.
Finally, at one point near the end of all these troubles, said servant of the Lord came up to me and explained that he and his group of dissenters would not be volunteering any more because of the disfunction in the church. Like I said, I was very shocked.
I admit at times that it feels as if we're all overburdened with our jobs. Heck, I was just replaced as youth leader at my church (unofficially - I think they're hoping I'll come back... and I might ;) because my real life load was getting too burdensome. I know that on one particular fund raiser after I'd organized, set up, cooked, and served, someone was still upset because I didn't help clean up as well (though I was actually helping clean up at the time, I guess I hadn't quite helped enough ;) But I always like to think that I've chipped in and helped as much as humanly possible whenever I could reasonably lend a hand. But to willfully go on strike to make a point that has nothing to do with Christ but has everything to do with church politics made no sense to me.
It seems that when we are called to be servants of Christ, we are explained the rules of our employment. We are told that the road will be hard. We are told that there is a lot of work to do. We are told that this path is not for everyone and that, indeed, many who start on this path will not reach the end. And we are told that our decision to join is entirely up to us. It is a decision that we get to make. Its not made for us. And its a decision that should be made joyfully, fully aware of the burdens we are about to take on.
How many of us know people who have arrived at the Mansion and at the first sign of chores have quietly slipped out the back to soak in the sun by the pool? Work is for others. It is beneath them. They have not joined this religion to do work. They have joined for all the fringe benefits. And when they are cornered and asked to work, they do so with grumbles and complaints and then talk up their accomplishments as if they're secretly running the entire household behind our backs.
I think we're all given to fits and piques over the hard labor of the Lord. There are times where we all grumble, but then we keep going, we keep doing, because there are many rooms... and they all need to be cleaned... and they're not going to clean themselves.
Friday, October 03, 2008
Some Changes Coming - A Friday Response
In response to Andy's blog over at A Mile From The Beach, I've decided to make ten changes to my blog on Monday. To wit, these changes are:
1) Starting on Monday, in order to make more money, I will run advertising on my blog for the Republican Party, Fox News, and, of course, ENRON.
2) Also to boost my blog ratings, I will be changing the name of this blog to IDOL.
3) I will be leaving all reference to my Christian name behind and adopting my blog name of Lanz Franco so that I might more easily defame my enemies from the anonymity of my, by then, world famous blog.
4) I will write my blog 7 days a week (twice on Sundays!)
5) I will thoroughly trash anyone who comments, pointing out how obviously inferior they are to me.
6) Anyone who posts to my blog will be subject to character assassination. Be warned! My ninjas are already warming up!
7) We will have a weekly discussion on how I can get into the sack with the newly married Scarlett Johansen.
8) All of my content will be liberally borrowed from other bloggers so that I don't have to taint my pure writing talent by talking down to the masses.
9) I will talk endlessly about Andy's shady business dealings with the Hanso Foundation.
10) I will not rest until my blog stock is as high as Andy's and my counter clicks over twice as many times as his does.
I hope everyone appreciates my new changes. I think they will give me a better life like good old King Ahab!
Sincerely,
Lanz Franco - an American Icon today, a worldly Idol on Monday!
1) Starting on Monday, in order to make more money, I will run advertising on my blog for the Republican Party, Fox News, and, of course, ENRON.
2) Also to boost my blog ratings, I will be changing the name of this blog to IDOL.
3) I will be leaving all reference to my Christian name behind and adopting my blog name of Lanz Franco so that I might more easily defame my enemies from the anonymity of my, by then, world famous blog.
4) I will write my blog 7 days a week (twice on Sundays!)
5) I will thoroughly trash anyone who comments, pointing out how obviously inferior they are to me.
6) Anyone who posts to my blog will be subject to character assassination. Be warned! My ninjas are already warming up!
7) We will have a weekly discussion on how I can get into the sack with the newly married Scarlett Johansen.
8) All of my content will be liberally borrowed from other bloggers so that I don't have to taint my pure writing talent by talking down to the masses.
9) I will talk endlessly about Andy's shady business dealings with the Hanso Foundation.
10) I will not rest until my blog stock is as high as Andy's and my counter clicks over twice as many times as his does.
I hope everyone appreciates my new changes. I think they will give me a better life like good old King Ahab!
Sincerely,
Lanz Franco - an American Icon today, a worldly Idol on Monday!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Another film, another protest ...
Blindness Film Facing Protest
1 October 2008 12:01 PM, PDT | From wenn.com
Members of the U.S. National Federation of the Blind (NFB) are planning to protest the release of Julianne Moore's new movie Blindness - because the film portrays the blind as "monsters".
The movie, a big-screen adaptation of Jose Saramago's 1995 book of the same name, is about a small town which is thrown into social chaos when the residents are hit by a sudden epidemic and go blind.
But the plot has angered the NFB's 50,000 members and the organisation's leaders have called for a boycott of the movie when it hits U.S. cinemas on Friday.
Marc Maurer, president of the NFB, says, "The movie portrays blind people as monsters and I believe it to be a lie.
"The Nfb condemns and deplores this film, which will do substantial harm to the blind of America and the world. Blind people in this film are portrayed as incompetent, filthy, vicious, and depraved. They are unable to do even the simplest things like dressing, bathing, and finding the bathroom.
"The truth is that blind people regularly do all of the same things that sighted people do."
The Nfb's planned boycott action has "saddened" bosses at Miramax, the studio behind the film.
In a statement, they say director Fernando Meirelles "worked diligently to preserve the intent and resonance of the acclaimed book, that is a courageous parable about the triumph of the human spirit when civilisation breaks down".
You know what I find discouraging. These people are protesting a film they haven't even seen.
1 October 2008 12:01 PM, PDT | From wenn.com
Members of the U.S. National Federation of the Blind (NFB) are planning to protest the release of Julianne Moore's new movie Blindness - because the film portrays the blind as "monsters".
The movie, a big-screen adaptation of Jose Saramago's 1995 book of the same name, is about a small town which is thrown into social chaos when the residents are hit by a sudden epidemic and go blind.
But the plot has angered the NFB's 50,000 members and the organisation's leaders have called for a boycott of the movie when it hits U.S. cinemas on Friday.
Marc Maurer, president of the NFB, says, "The movie portrays blind people as monsters and I believe it to be a lie.
"The Nfb condemns and deplores this film, which will do substantial harm to the blind of America and the world. Blind people in this film are portrayed as incompetent, filthy, vicious, and depraved. They are unable to do even the simplest things like dressing, bathing, and finding the bathroom.
"The truth is that blind people regularly do all of the same things that sighted people do."
The Nfb's planned boycott action has "saddened" bosses at Miramax, the studio behind the film.
In a statement, they say director Fernando Meirelles "worked diligently to preserve the intent and resonance of the acclaimed book, that is a courageous parable about the triumph of the human spirit when civilisation breaks down".
You know what I find discouraging. These people are protesting a film they haven't even seen.
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