In explaining why he had run in all the way from Right Field to tackle a Yankee's baserunner who had gone in spikes up into second base, local Northern California native Johnny Gomes said, "I was taught all the way back to T-Ball to have my teammates back."
You know, Andy from Mile at the Beach and I coached T-Ball for three seasons together, and he coached for four seasons and has now moved up to the next coaching level, and in that entire time I never remembered teaching the 5 and 6 year old players to start a bench clearing brawl in order to protect their fellow teammate from bodily harm. Of course, there was usually one week in there where I was off on vacation, so maybe that was the week Andy taught them that.
Ten other things I DID NOT teach my T-Ball players:
10. To grab their crotch at any time.
9. How to inject steroids into the butts of other players.
8. Why the DH loving American League is superior to the God fearing and all-natural National League
7. How to compute the slugging percentage of left handed hitters against Venezuelan pitchers who bat above the Mendoza line but do poorly in Winter Ball.
6. How to spit tobacco juice into pop cans.
5. What to say to your agent before an arbitration hearing.
4. How to take HGH and not get caught.
3. The LA Dodgers Fight Song.
2. How to make coach an excellent martini while cleaning his pool.
1. How to make the game so exciting that picking up dirt wasn't more interesting ;)
I take responsibility for one of those things. The rest, I had no intention of teaching them until they were much older. ;) But then again, maybe they teach things differently in the T-Ball league of Petaluma. I'll have to remember to keep my kids from playing those guys - just in case we accidentally start a bench clearing brawl by suggesting that the other team has cooties.
2 comments:
The problem with the next level up is that if the player is hit by a pitch and charges the mound, he'd have to pound the pitching machine.
Considering that the kids can hit a ball I pitch but not one the pitching machine pitches...I guess it's okay that they pound the living crap out of it. It wasn't me who spent $700 on it.
That said, in T-Ball, they fight each other on the bench...over who gets to sit next to whom...
Maybe that's what they mean when they say they've got each other's back? ;)
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