I Choose Life

There's a perfect symmetry in life that seems to grow the longer you live. Or maybe its always there and never changing and you just become more aware of its size as you get older. Either way, I had a symmetrical trip to Central Idaho that was, as usual, brought home by a passage from the Bible.

I spent the entire week in God's country fishing, hiking, freezing, picturing, eating, communing, and four wheeling. There was an ebb and flow to the pattern of life that was very rhythmic - like the casting of a line into a gentle stream (I cast a lot of line, watched it flow down river, then reeled it in. I did this about 500 times with the same results each time.) Through it all, I was able to get reacquainted with my good friend and brother from another mother, Russ, as we got caught up on each other's lives, loves, and fortunes - mis or otherwise.

In my final week before the trip, I was out filming with some friends for a class and someone asked me about my schedule, "Why do you do so much?" I thought about it then and I told him that I did so much because I didn't want to waste my life sitting on the couch watching TV. I thought a lot about that exchange this weekend as the topic of conversation between Russ and I invariably moved into this same exact area.

I tried to explain to Russ that I was happy and content because I had plenty of things to do. But I think I was failing to make the point that it wasn't the things that made me happy and content, but the context of the things and the fact that I was doing the things in communion with others - that it was the sharing of the task that was the most pleasing thing.

As I struggled to find the right words to tell my friend exactly what I thought about all the things that I do, I came across a passage at the end of the Deuteronomy where God is communicating through Moses to the people of Israel and urging them to choose life. Now, when I read the passage, my initial thought was that God was reminding the Israeli's of the consequences of breaking the covenant with Him. But, at almost the same moment, I was reminded of a line from The Shawshank Redemption where Tim Robbins turns to Morgan Freeman and says, "Well, I guess its time to get busy living, or get busy dying." I've always liked that line and I've always remembered it. I think it breaks down our choices into two camps more accurately than anything else I've ever heard. Live or Die. It's our choice - every single time we make a choice. A few minutes later, as I was going through the NIV notes about the text, I came across the "writers" interpretation of the text and I noted what the "writer" said about the same passage - that God was reminding the people of Israel to choose life and all the things that are associated with it - community, family, etc... I realized that this was exactly what I'd been trying to say all week.

You can have a million bucks and a fancy house and a plethora of servants and accolades and adoring fans, but none of that is more important than spending a week with your friend fishing up in God's country - or helping build a playground - or enjoying a barbeque with your church family - or taking the kids to the park to play. Choosing Life means choosing the things that make life wonderful - not the complex pleasures that leave unsatisfying holes in our lives, but the things that make us whole, happy, and that keep us connected to each other.

I may not be prosperous in the conventional ways, but God gives me more gifts than I could possibly use on a daily basis, and those are treasures that most people not only can't obtain, but don't even understand.

Its good to be back home... I can't wait to go fishing again.

And I'm Outta Here...

See you all at the end of the month!

Will

The reason my novel isn't finished yet... ;)

Novelists Strike Fails To Affect Nation Whatsoever

Geek First Half of Round One Wrap Up

And the final picks were:

Ben Hur
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Conan The Barbarian
and
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

And now, I'm shutting ICON down for two weeks as I head off for some very much needed R&R while spring fishing.

To be continued when I return...

Geek Wars Weekly Wrap Up #2

O.k. business first...

The voting has opened for all of the remaining first half of Geek Action Films polls (#1/#16, #8/#9, #5/#12, and #4/13). This will conclude the first half of the first round of voting. It will be followed by an approximately two week hiatus. The first new Geek Film voting will continue on March 31st when I return from the Fishin' Hole!

So, here's the recap...

First Half of Classic Sci Fi Films:

Winners:
#1 Star Wars
#8 Close Encounters of the Third Kind
#5 Blade Runner
#4 E.T.

First Half of Fantasy Films:
#1 Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
#9 Time Bandits
#5 Wizard of OZ
#13 7th Voyage of Sinbad

First Half of Current Sci Fi Films:
#1 Matrix
#9 Contact
#12 Total Recall
#4 Armageddon

Currently Voting Through Monday:
Geek Action Films

#1 Ben Hur
vs
#16 Pirates of the Carribean: Curse of the Black Pearl

#8 Mad Max
vs
#9 The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

#5 Children of Men
vs.
#12 Conan the Barbarian

#4 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
vs
#13 Die Hard

Commentary:
Okay, the last groupings were kind of a dud. Honestly, I don't care how much money the films made, Matrix and Armageddon and Total Recall, etc... These films just don't light a candle in comparison to the creativity and imagination of the old school sci-fi and fantasy movies. But now that we're in the Action Film section, we suddenly see this cross-blend of old and new films that are all classics in their own right, and it becomes nearly impossible to pick. Making the list was hard enough. This category could have filled an entire tournament by itself.

So, #1 is Ben Hur. Why? Because until Titanic and Return of the King, it was THE ACADEMY AWARDS CHAMPION. Until Titanic and ROTK tied it, BEN HUR had more awards than any other movie ever made. With classic action sequences like the naval ship battle and the always thrilling Chariot Race mixed with serious sequences of the story of Jesus Christ, this film has held its sway over me since I saw it for the first time. Look at the list of Action Films found here and see just how many films were up for Best Picture, let alone won? This is #1 on the list for the same reason Return of The King is on the list.

#16 POTC (the first movie) made the list on the sheer brilliance of its first script and the lunacy of Johnny Depp's Captain Jack. But the action sequences were pretty cool as well - especially some of the intricate sword fights.

#8 Mad Max - the original thunder from down under, Mel Gibson really dominated this movie about an honest cop in a not quite apocalyptic future looking for revenge. But this film really is all about the car.

#9 The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - Clint Eastwood. Spaghetti Western. Classic movie anti-heroes, villains, and a race for gold. "Dig!" What more is there to say? If you haven't seen this film, you're just not a man.

#5 Children of Men - This film was also nominated for Best Picture and mixes a sci-fi story with some incredible special effects and the always kick-a$$ Clive Owen to make a pretty intense action film. The ending of this movie, especially, will keep you on the edge of your seat.

#12 Conan the Barbarian - Arnold in all his glory. He may have been better in Terminator, but he was never more Arnoldy as he was in this film.

#4 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - This is the film that gave Matrix its head-start. Without the absolutely insane fight sequences in this modern re-imagining of the classic Chinese Sword film, Matrix would probably have never worked. This is the only sub-titled film to make the top 64 Geek Films.

#13 Die Hard - Yippie Ki Yay! Die Hard was the original and the best and has been the father of many, many, deformed bastard children. Michael Bay, Quentin Tarantino, and a whole slew of other directors and action filmmakers owe their existence to this little film. Plot be damned, give me a building, a terrorist, and a cop with a chip on his shoulder and I'll make you one hell of an action film.

So, good luck... the voting only gets harder from here on out.

(For a preview, your very first vote when I come back from my fishing trip? Empire Strikes Back vs. Return of the Jedi - let the Ewok bashing begin!)

Maybe I wasn't such a good coach...

In explaining why he had run in all the way from Right Field to tackle a Yankee's baserunner who had gone in spikes up into second base, local Northern California native Johnny Gomes said, "I was taught all the way back to T-Ball to have my teammates back."

You know, Andy from Mile at the Beach and I coached T-Ball for three seasons together, and he coached for four seasons and has now moved up to the next coaching level, and in that entire time I never remembered teaching the 5 and 6 year old players to start a bench clearing brawl in order to protect their fellow teammate from bodily harm. Of course, there was usually one week in there where I was off on vacation, so maybe that was the week Andy taught them that.

Ten other things I DID NOT teach my T-Ball players:

10. To grab their crotch at any time.
9. How to inject steroids into the butts of other players.
8. Why the DH loving American League is superior to the God fearing and all-natural National League
7. How to compute the slugging percentage of left handed hitters against Venezuelan pitchers who bat above the Mendoza line but do poorly in Winter Ball.
6. How to spit tobacco juice into pop cans.
5. What to say to your agent before an arbitration hearing.
4. How to take HGH and not get caught.
3. The LA Dodgers Fight Song.
2. How to make coach an excellent martini while cleaning his pool.
1. How to make the game so exciting that picking up dirt wasn't more interesting ;)

I take responsibility for one of those things. The rest, I had no intention of teaching them until they were much older. ;) But then again, maybe they teach things differently in the T-Ball league of Petaluma. I'll have to remember to keep my kids from playing those guys - just in case we accidentally start a bench clearing brawl by suggesting that the other team has cooties.

The Cat's Slowly Wriggling Free...

It's not quite out of the bag yet, but the cat has gotten a flap open and has poked its head out.

While it appears that I have been slumbering lately (and, in many ways I have) I haven't entirely been asleep. Though I've mentioned it before, I will state it a bit more clearly now. I have been working behind the scenes intensely on my website rebuild. Projects that have been long dormant are being reawakened and new projects are racing through the pre-visualization stages of development.

On April 1st (or thereabouts) I will come completely clean on what is brewing, but for now, I'm sure you'll here the occasional rumble around here. Some of you, or your kids, might even get cast for things without knowing why.

(Okay, one little tidbit, two days ago I completed a test for my new front page and it came off just as well as I imagined it - I'm talking Disney ThemePark-esque! I'm really excited about this new website, but almost as excited about not having to work on that stupid novel again!)

Anyway, if you want a long wait for a free preview (I'm still working out a few technological kinks) you can go to my website now by clicking on The Adventure Chronicles link in my link bar.

That's it. Suitably vague. But hopefully my enthusiastic drivel was contagious!

I Know You've Been Curious...

As I know that I've been curious, so last week when I read on a website that one of the best things you could buy at a fast food place was the Low Cal Six Dollar Burger at Carl's Jr (I believe its called Hardees on the East Coast) which comes in at only 400 calories, I decided that I just had to try it. So I planned for a day when I could work off the calories later and I drove out to Carl's Jr for lunch today.

So, what is a low cal six dollar burger? Let's start with the burger. It's a 8oz Angus Beef Burger cooked and seasoned and quite tasty. Its topped with a single slice of American Cheese, catsup and mayo. They use a real thick bread and butter pickle, fresh tomatoes, and red onion as well. Presumably, you could get the burger without one or more of these ingredients. So far, you're probably asking yourself what's the difference? Well, the difference is that instead of a big thick enriched flour bun, they wrap the burger in two giant lettuce leaves. That's right, Lettuce Leaf, Burger, Fixings, Lettuce Leaf.

Sounds kind of messy? Well, it can be. Fortunately, I have YEARS of experience in eating fast food and Carl's Jr particularly has a reputation for messy eating experiences. So I was well prepared.

My first thought upon opening the cardboard box was that this burger was heavy and it made me wonder how the lettuce could possibly hold up under the strain. It was wrapped in a white food paper that made it easier to hold, but the paper was so large that you could only nibble a bit off the top before you had to start shedding the paper. As I took a bite and realized that there was almost no support for the burger contents inside the lettuce, I knew that it was going to be a race against time as to whether I could finish the entire burger before its contents were shed all over the front of my shirt.

I raced through the eating and towards the end, I pulled the empty cardboard box underneath the burger. This turned out to be fortuitous because all the burgers juices, normally absorbed by the bun, started flowing out - but they poured into the box instead. The end result was that I finished the burger without a single drop spilled, but this is by no means a beginner's burger - expert eaters need only apply.

As for the burger itself, it was still kind of heavy. I'm not sure about that 400 calorie claim, but I was quite satisfied with the amount of food - and that's not necessarily a good thing. Afterwards, I went for a walk and I felt slightly sluggish from the digestion of the meal. Still, I enjoyed the burger. It was quite excellent and I really didn't miss the bun at all. In the future, I will probably order this burger again. But this is definitely not something I would include regularly in my diet. It was a nice distraction, but by no means was it a proper replacement for a good meal. However, considering the lack of options at fast food restaurants today, it was definitely a better choice than any chicken sandwich or salad with chicken or meat inside. So in that respect, it was a good fast food option.

All told it cost me about $6.50 for the burger and a bottled water. And I will give it 2 1/2 Wigs out of 5. (Though considerably less if I were an amateur fast foodie)

No Points, No Pre-Packaged Foods, Just Faith

I've been keeping a lid on this for a while, mostly because I didn't want to fail and bring discredit to God. But I've finally seen quantifiable results and I had to finally pass it on. The Lord has been good to me.

One of the things I knew I needed to do when I finished my novel was to take care of myself. Through long months of bashing my head against a wall, being up at all hours of the night writing, and generally spending weekends and all my free time stressing out over the mundane details of this particular scene or that particular character, I had become something of a shadow of my former self - a large 300 pound plus shadow. While I have never really cared one way or another for my physical condition, I wanted to get back into shape so that I could once again enjoy hiking and fishing and other outdoor pursuits.

The only problem with my plan was that I like food. A lot.

When you are an alcoholic, you need alcohol, but even you'd admit somewhere deep down that if you stopped drinking, it wouldn't kill you. Same thing with smoking. Really, deep down, you don't need alcohol or cigarettes or porn or any of the millions of myriad things we get addicted to. But food... that's another matter altogether. Everyone needs food. There is no way to get away from it. And so imagine telling an alcoholic that he doesn't need to stop drinking, he just needs to cut back to one small glass of beer a day. Yeah, right. Fat chance. Put any alcohol in front of the alcoholic and he'll just keep drinking.

So, how does one stop when one needs to keep eating, but manage it in a normal manner?

It occurred to me that in the past I had tried two methods. First, I had decided that I would only eat when I was hungry. That would help for a little while. Instead of eating whenever it was "time" I would only eat when I felt that first pang of hunger. But, of course, I didn't say what I would eat. And quite frankly, if you had to choose between a nice cheeseburger and a spinach salad, what would you choose? So, I realized that appealing to my body to stop myself from eating too much was a bad choice - akin to putting the fox in charge of the hen house. The second method I had tried was to intellectually decide not to eat. After all, I KNEW what I needed to do. I KNEW what was good to eat and I KNEW how much exercise to do. Logic and right thinking would take care of the rest. I just had to listen intellectually to what my brain had to say and I would be just fine. Until my brain said, "I'm tired. I've been very good this week. One cheeseburger won't kill me. I'll just walk faster tomorrow." And then the next day, "I've been under so much stress lately, perhaps this isn't a good week to be dieting. I'll stop now and start up again next week." And then... well, you get the point. Intellectually, I was a dieting idiot. If the body was the fox in the hen house, the brain was like a Republican in charge of the treasury. It wasn't that the rules weren't there, but that they could be gotten around through incorrect justification.

Um... No body, no brain... am I out of options?

To be honest, I was kind of pissed off at myself. How weak was I? My body couldn't be trusted and my intellect was as leaky as a sieve. What kind of man was I that I couldn't force myself to stop eating? After all, it was just a choice wasn't it? The simplest thing we do on a daily basis. We make a choice. The answer is yes or no, this or that. Two outcomes and we know which one is the right one and yet, somehow, we still pick the wrong one - every time. How can that be?

It reminded me of sin.

And that was when I realized that the reason that I always chose the wrong outcome was that I was putting the authority behind the decision making process in the wrong place. Make a choice, let the body decide. Make a choice, let the brain decide. Each of these entities chose on the basis of the way they were feeling at that moment based upon hunger or desire. What I needed was an authority that would not waver, that would not change, and that would not allow me to stumble or fall. And so, I asked God to be my decision maker. I asked God to remind me what was the right choice to make and then hold me accountable for making that decision.

Simple. Make a decision. Always make the right choice. And then never worry about making the wrong choice because God will forgive me for being human if I should ever stumble. It can't be that easy, can it?

I started my diet around the middle of January. Last night, looking in the mirror, I suddenly noticed a new svelteness that I had not seen in the previous weeks. Today, I weighed myself and discovered that I had lost 17 and a half pounds - but more importantly, I had crossed under the 300 pound barrier for the first time in a long time.

I don't say this as a chastisement of people with a little more weight than others. People's body shapes and sizes are their own choice. I certainly never felt bad because I was overweight (in fact, many times I felt good ;) I just missed some things that I could no longer do. I'm not now losing weight to curry any sort of popularity or love. The kind of people that would like me more because I'm 200 pounds vs. 300 pounds are not the kind of people I want to associate with anyway. I'm saying this because I think we all have choices that we make consistently and we always seem to make the wrong choice again and again. Next time you're going to make that choice, ask God to help you make the right choice.

Its that simple. Yes or no. Right or wrong. Left or right. Everything comes down to a choice and if God backs you, you'll always make the right decision. No diet plans, no points, no calorie counting, no expensive nutritionists or psychologists, no nothing - just God and a choice.

(If you want to know more about my incredible diet method, please send me $19.95 plus shipping and handling and I'll send you a great book that will tell you all about how you too can make the right choices in life. Please specify whether 15th century English or modern English is your preference. ;)

Geek Wars UPSET Update

Over the weekend, there were two major upsets in the Geek Wars Film Tournament.

#9 Time Bandits scored a mild 4-2 upset over the #8 seeded Clash of the Titans. Apparently, fans were not that enamored with the special effects work of Ray Harryhausen in the last of his films. However, there was plenty of love for Ray and old school fantasy when #13 7th Voyage of Sinbad, considered by many to be Ray's best film, upset the recently dominant Best Picture nominee, Pan's Labyrinth by a final vote of 4-1. 7th Voyage is the lowest seed to advance so far this tournament.

In other tourney news, #5 Wizard of Oz easily destroyed Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone 6-0 to advance to a round two match up against #13 7th Voyage.

A new category begins this week - Current Sci Fi - which covers all sci-fi movies that have come out post Computer Graphics.

Good luck and good voting!

Geek Wars Weekly Wrap Up

This just in from:
Da da da... da da da...
GeekFilmCenter at ESPN (Early Science of Predicting Nerdliness)

Our weekly Geek Wars Film Wrap Up for the week that was...

The first four qualifiers for the Geek Film Wars were selected this week in the Old School Sci Fi Film category and quite frankly, Bob, there weren't any upsets.

None were really expected.

The top seeded Star Wars cruised to an easy victory as did the 4th Seeded E.T. and the 5th seeded Blade Runner. In fact, Blade Runner had the easiest time of it, crushing its opponent 5-0. The only tight contest in the entire early old sci-fi round was the #8-#9 match up between Close Encounters and The Day The Earth Stood Still. Apparently, Spielberg still has his touch, as Close Encounters came away with a close 2-1 victory.

Also in early action this week, the #1 seeded Return of the King knocked off the #16 seeded Neverending Story, but the contest was a far closer 2-1 final, that nobody really expected. What do you think happened Bob?

Well, too many people just love Neverending Story from their childhood, Tom. I think the story of Atreu and the giant rock dude and the snail that goes faster than a Ferarri plus all those 80's clothes and music - what's there not to love. But ultimately the first geek Best Film winner won out. But ROTK is in a tough bracket and will next have to contend with the likes of either Clash of the Titans or Time Bandits, and the likely winner of the Wizard of Oz/Pan's Labyrinth match up from the second round. This is no easy bracket with lots of potential bracket busters and the end of too many people's fantasy picks.

And on tap for this weekend, two picks for Friday (Friday and Saturday's), that should help round out the early Fantasy category by Monday. And then we move on next week to New School Sci-Fi (post CGI) and the finally, by Thursday of next week, the Action Film Category. And that bracket ought to be really explosive.

Sorry, Bob, I couldn't resist.

And that's it for us tonight. Stay tuned to ESPN for our continuing award winning coverage of the Stallone Report on Steroid Use in Hollywood Films...

Ashton Kutcher is a F***ing Genius!

I liked Kelso on That 70's Show. But most of the Ashton Kutcher stuff I could really do without. However, I heard people tell me about Punked and I thought it was a great premise for a show. Now, however, Kutcher has moved beyond Punked into brilliant satire territory.

For the past three months, he and his Hollywood pals have been faking incidents for the Paparazzi to report. They have been doing this for a new show that will air on E in a month or so. They haven't told anyone what they are doing and, in fact, they've done such a good job that they even faked out E's own news reporting group.

The idea of punking the paparazzi is such a good one that I'm surprised nobody else thought of it before. The fact that they've been able to get away with it for three months is absolutely genius. Once this show airs, people are finally going to be a)questioning all those tabloid reports they read (was the paparazzi punked?) and b) questioning the real value of all this celebrity gossip (ultimately, who cares?)

Anyway, I don't get cable, and I'm not sure I'd watch anyway. But just the thought that someone is going around hoodwinking these vultures of "culture" brings a smile to my heart.

I'm audi...

Kinda quiet around here...

For a change, I've been busy doing things I want to do.

After I finished the novel, I promised to myself to take some time off until March before deciding what I wanted to do next. Well, I almost made it to March before I decided, but I definitely made it to March before I started work.

I'm not going to give out all the details of what I've got cooking up in my mad scientist's lab but I will say that it has something to do with my long slumbering website (not upgraded since 2002 - Q'ELLE HORROR!) If you'd like to sit and wait a REALLY long time, I have a teaser up at the website now that you can view. Or if you want more specific details, you can wait until April 1st and visit the site then.

Either way, I'm going to be busy busy busy between now and October. But then again, I choose to be busy, so that's cool.

P.S. On the novel front, I'm waiting for a well-known and much respected literary critic to quit whining about his kitchen remodel and to get back to me about how incredibly awesome my novel is. After that, or 3/31/08 (whichever comes first) I will be seeking the much more professional advice of a real literary agent - one who intends to get me some dough.

In the meantime, keep voting. Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires and Pick The Geekiest Film Of All Time!