Or Erotica for Easy Chairists...
The whole point, to me anyway, of porn or erotica is to create in the mind a fantasy like state whereby we con ourselves into thinking, however briefly, that we might someday be able to do or see the things listed in the magazines in real life. Naked pictues of beautiful women - I wouldn't mind seeing that for real someday again. Stories of seducing beautiful college girls at the local sorority - yeah, it could happen to me! Honest!
But lately, I've become seduced by another type of erotica, another quality of porn. After a brief foray into my manly mountain man phase of slogging through the mud and grunting and lifting heavy things, I've become convinced that there is a Neanderthal hiding inside my office chair framed body. And this new erotica that I have been seeing and reading has only convinced me that I could let this Neanderthal out and become the kind of person I read about in these fantasies.
Yeah, I'm talking about National Geographic's Adventure Magazine which is hard core adventure porn for pudgy people like myself. When I read about climbing Mt. Everest, or Mt. Kenya, or hiking through Red Rock outside Vegas, or kayaking down an obscure Alaskan river where I won't see anyone for nearly five days, I start to picture myself in such situations and feel my inner Neanderthal crying to be let loose. I want to climb. I want to hike. I want to live for days on nothing but freeze dried pork. I want to haul my tent, kayak, and supplies through mountain terrain and scare off bears with nothing more than a growl and standing tall. I want to stand on top of the world, ice covering my scraggly beard, and text message Andy at the beach thousands of miles away.
Of course, I've got a better shot with those sorority girls, but that's the thing about fantasies. They seem so real... until you drag them out under the inscrutible light of day and you realize that they are merely desires, figments of an overactive imagination.
Not that I'm going to stop reading Adventure magazine, mind you. A little porn is healthy and can spur all sorts of crazy schemes to get a real fix. But, I think I'll keep my caribiner in my pocket for a little while, all the same.
Have a great weekend.
1 comment:
Adventure is good, but I prefer Backpacker. The suggested trips are more realistic, more likely for me to accomplish than scaling Annapurna and then donning a tux for caviar at the Gurkha Club in Kathmandu.
Cheers.
Post a Comment