I have in front of me the latest, and greatest, National Geographic Expeditions brochure for 2007. In this wonderful tome is every dream vacation an explorer born three hundred years too late could ever want. While I have contemplated the wonderful 15 Day Antartica Cruise before (at $10,000 - a real bargain!) as of yesterday, I have a new winning vacation goal.
You see, you start by boarding a private 757 Jet with about one hundred other passengers and a tour guide who is most famous for his discovery of the Incan Ice Princess Mummy (I'm sure he's slumming for research money). Your picture is taken on board by a for real National Geographic photographer who is probably suffering from Bengal Tiger and Flying Fish withdrawal but who can nonetheless say "Cheese!" with the best of them. After a short flight from Washington D.C., you arrive in Peru.
First stop: Machu Pichu - the 14,000 foot plus home of the ancient Incan culture.
After a few days acclimating and deacclimating to such a height, you board your plane again for the next leg of your journey.
Second stop: Easter Island - Yes, that Easter Island with the giant Tiki Statues.
Then, Samoa. Then, Australia - but not just anywhere in Australia, no. Get on your scuba gear and snorkeling IPOD's cause you're going swimming with the fishes at the Great Barrier Reef.
Tired, yet.
I hope not, because on your way from Australia to Chengdu in China, you have to stop in Cambodia to visit the Angor Wat shrine. And then, after only a brief one day layover in Chengdu, you make a quick roundtrip to the high holy mountain city of Lhasa in Tibet, before flying on to India.
But not just anywhere in India - of course, you're visiting the Taj Mahal. Get a postcard though, cause you have to board your plane again and you wouldn't want to be left lion around, as your next stop is Africa and particularly the Serengetti Animal Preserve.
At Serengetti you have the option of a photo safari with real National Geographic explorers, or a brief one day visit with the Leakey's at Olduvai Gorge. Then you board the plane yet again for a short flight to the Luxor - in Egypt, as opposed to Las Vegas. After another side trip to the Pyramids at Giza, you board your plane for a cross continent flight for your last stop on this trip - Marrakesh in Morocco - before a quick transworld flight back to Washington D.C..
Forget taking a world cruise that takes 10 months and visits exciting Calcutta and other "exotic" ports of call. For my money, I'll take the 24 Day, personal 757 tour that visits just about every place on the globe I've ever wanted to see and allows me to meet people that I've always wanted to know.
And even though you don't get a complete set of Ginzu knives, I'd bet you'd be willing to pay quite a bit for this once in a lifetime travel experience. Well, you needn't rob a bank. Because for the low low price of one day of Barry Bonds' contract, you could afford to make this trip. That's right, just a mere $49,950 (double occupancy) or $56,120 (single occupancy) will put you on this wonderful vacation experience. So, order now. Operators are standing by!
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