There will be a major announcement on my newly revised website in a month or so, but for now, I will leave it to say that I am in training for an event. And the most important part of any person's training cycle is, of course, to look good while doing it. And hence, I need a new hat.
While I have had hiking hats before, I have tended to find them too large, too silly, or too annoying. I need a new hat - one that won't make me sick, one that will drive my walk, and make me feel 6 inches thick. (Sorry, Huey, couldn't help it!) I need a new hat for hiking. I need a hat that will keep my head warm and cool at the same time. I need a hat that will be comfortable. I need a hat that will keep the sweat out of my eyes, the sun off my face, and my hair out of my way. But, mostly, I need a new hat that won't make me look like a dork, or that is so comfortable to wear, I don't care if I look like a dork.
So, does anyone have any suggestions about where I might obtain this holy grail of a hiking hat?
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Pass the praise...
I'm not one to pass the praise too often since I like to keep it all for myself, but my sister wrote a rather funny blog post about trying to read a Bible story to her son, Joshua, who turns three in a couple of weeks or so. This is a good laugh.
Check it out here.
Check it out here.
WHY?
In the second season of the hit television series, Battlestar Galactica, Captain Adama sits down to have a talk with Sharon who is a former Viper pilot who discovered that she was, in fact, a Cylon that had been infiltrated into the Colonial fleet as a sort of ultimate sleeper agent. Sharon and Adama have history. At the end of Season One, she discovered that she was a Cylon when she walked up to Adama and shot him in the chest at point blank range because her programming (her nature) overcame her and she was unable to stop herself from pulling the trigger. Despite the near death experience, Captain Adama starts talking with Sharon - trying to get information about the Cylons on the one hand, but as a sort of catharsis on the other, working his way towards forgiveness. At the end of one episode, he finally asks, "Why do the Cylons want to destroy us?"
And she responds, "Because you've never asked yourselves why you deserve to survive."
A long time before, in a galaxy far, far away, groups of survivors struggled through the wilderness together moving from clump of brush to clump of brush looking doggedly over their shoulders for pursuing Babylonian soldiers. Jerusalem had been destroyed - its king carried off into exile. The city had been ransacked and burned. Its people had been hacked to death, burned, and, the lucky ones, carried off into exile. Those few who had managed to flee hoped to get as far as Egypt. But they couldn't understand what had gone wrong and why the Babylonians pursued them across the wilderness. "Why do the Babylonians want to destroy us?" they asked. And the prophet might have answered, "Because you never asked yourself why you deserve to survive."
Yesterday, in my church choir loft, surrounded by the few hundred or so remainders of what had once been a thriving church in a once thriving denomination, we sat and listened as our Pastor intoned the terrible news, "If the statistical averages continue to drop, there will be no Presbyterian Church in the United States in 30 years." Our numbers continue to drop. Our new membership classes dry up. We struggle in vain to survive as a denomination and as a church. But we can't understand why we continue to perish. "Why does the world want to destroy us?" And we can't even fathom the answer, "Because we never asked ourselves why we deserve to survive."
Battlestar Galactica is a TV Show and on its flashy surface, you will discover what you expect to see - space jocks, space opera, and great special effects. But at its heart, it asks the tough questions - the questions we each should be asking ourselves. When the world is beating us down and when all things seem gloomy and despair is the last emotion you can find, instead of asking God why He is doing this to us, why He is trying to destroy us, perhaps we should ask God, "How can I deserve to survive?"
What have we done to survive? Our salvation is guaranteed by the blood of Jesus Christ, but what have we done, as a species, to deserve our salvation and our continued survival? We can't feed the hungry. We can't clothe the naked. We can't house the homeless? We can't cure the sick. What exactly have we done to deserve our continued survival? It is only God's love that continues to shield us from extinction. It is only His mercy for which we can hope.
Where does all this doom and gloom come from on such a fine Monday morning? If you saw the way my 49er's played this weekend against the Bears, you wouldn't have to ask. ;)
And she responds, "Because you've never asked yourselves why you deserve to survive."
A long time before, in a galaxy far, far away, groups of survivors struggled through the wilderness together moving from clump of brush to clump of brush looking doggedly over their shoulders for pursuing Babylonian soldiers. Jerusalem had been destroyed - its king carried off into exile. The city had been ransacked and burned. Its people had been hacked to death, burned, and, the lucky ones, carried off into exile. Those few who had managed to flee hoped to get as far as Egypt. But they couldn't understand what had gone wrong and why the Babylonians pursued them across the wilderness. "Why do the Babylonians want to destroy us?" they asked. And the prophet might have answered, "Because you never asked yourself why you deserve to survive."
Yesterday, in my church choir loft, surrounded by the few hundred or so remainders of what had once been a thriving church in a once thriving denomination, we sat and listened as our Pastor intoned the terrible news, "If the statistical averages continue to drop, there will be no Presbyterian Church in the United States in 30 years." Our numbers continue to drop. Our new membership classes dry up. We struggle in vain to survive as a denomination and as a church. But we can't understand why we continue to perish. "Why does the world want to destroy us?" And we can't even fathom the answer, "Because we never asked ourselves why we deserve to survive."
Battlestar Galactica is a TV Show and on its flashy surface, you will discover what you expect to see - space jocks, space opera, and great special effects. But at its heart, it asks the tough questions - the questions we each should be asking ourselves. When the world is beating us down and when all things seem gloomy and despair is the last emotion you can find, instead of asking God why He is doing this to us, why He is trying to destroy us, perhaps we should ask God, "How can I deserve to survive?"
What have we done to survive? Our salvation is guaranteed by the blood of Jesus Christ, but what have we done, as a species, to deserve our salvation and our continued survival? We can't feed the hungry. We can't clothe the naked. We can't house the homeless? We can't cure the sick. What exactly have we done to deserve our continued survival? It is only God's love that continues to shield us from extinction. It is only His mercy for which we can hope.
Where does all this doom and gloom come from on such a fine Monday morning? If you saw the way my 49er's played this weekend against the Bears, you wouldn't have to ask. ;)
Friday, October 27, 2006
A Quarter Thousand and One
This is my 251st blog. So let's have fun at my expense...
Today's Category:
Name the three real reasons Will (that's me) came back to blogging after only a week of lay off...
The best answer wins the mutual admiration and condemnation of all participants! So, hop to it!
Today's Category:
Name the three real reasons Will (that's me) came back to blogging after only a week of lay off...
The best answer wins the mutual admiration and condemnation of all participants! So, hop to it!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
The Mysteries of Faith - Part One "Heroes"
This will be an ongoing series on mysteries or questions that bother me in the Bible because there are no definitive answers, only faith and questions. I am a rational person who reads the Bible and tries to connect the dots. But when things seem to contradict themselves, or blanket statements seem to good to be true, it leaves me wondering about the validity of the document that we call the Bible. And my only answer to that is to believe it anyway because I'm obviously missing some vital truth that will set my mind at ease. So, please, do not think I am attacking Christianity with these questions. I am merely asking questions in the hopes of finding some answer that will strengthen my understanding of God.
Part One - Heroes
On the TV Show, Heroes, several people have seemingly developed super powers overnight according to a theory of evolution posited by one of the main characters now deceased father. The idea being that these "Heroes" would gain these powers just in time to preserve the human race from some disaster, much like evolution teaches us that giraffe's developed long necks so that they could eat leaves higher up in the branches - had they not done so, they would have gone extinct. Its the idea that the chicken comes before the egg. But that is neither here nor there. These heroes have super powers. They can fly and teleport and go backwards and forwards into the future and paint the future and hear thoughts, etc... No clue as to how these particular abilities are going to save the world, but I'll leave that to the writers to decide.
In the Bible, there are many "heroes" who also develop super powers. Joseph can interpret dreams. Moses is able to part the Red Sea and call down plagues upon Pharoah. Daniel can calm lions. Many can prophesy. Jesus can heal the sick and even raise the dead. All of these "heroes" are sent by God to save the world (a few people at a time, perhaps, or in the case of Jesus, all of us at once). We are then lead to believe that in order to gain super powers, we must be sent by God. We hope to hear His voice in our ears, telling us to leap tall buildings in a single bound. But, of course, it doesn't work that way.
Yet, Jesus said that if we had faith as small as even a mustard seed, we could tell mountains to jump out of the way, and they would move. Now that would be a neat trick.
In today's world, its easy to dismiss the Bible's super powers because, after all, raising the dead isn't nearly as cool as bending over backwards and dodging super-sonic bullets, or stopping in mid-air, turning around and kicking an opponent in the head. Nobody in the Bible has spider sense. Nobody flies. Nobody has metallic claws to gut their opponents. As super powers go, walking on water is pretty lame. In this world of computer animation and fictionalized stories, the Bible pales in comparison.
Except, of course, that they're real. They really happened. Didn't they?
We can recreate the parting of the Red Sea with special effects, draw down plagues on people with computer animation and make-up, and every other show on television seems to resurrect some villain or hero once a week or so. Walking on water? Heck, even Dash from the Incredibles can do that. Feed the 5000? Give me a Star Trek Replicator and a little power from the Dilithium Crystals and I can do that.
In dealing with thoughts of the incredible its hard not to let your imagination take over. And imagination is make believe - not faith. We don't expect man to really fly, nor swing on spider webs through the city. People can't really dodge bullets, and nobody can really raise the dead, nor walk on water, nor spend the night in a cave with hungry lions. And anyone who claims they can interpret your dreams is probably a very good con artist. These things must be simple flights of the imagination combined with some flim flam.
So how does one move mountains? How does one raise the dead or heal the sick? How can faith really do all these things? If I ask God to part San Francisco Bay, would He do it? What if I really concentrated hard and pictured the Bay parting, when I opened my eyes, would it have parted? What missing ingredient am I missing? How do you believe the unbelievable? And how does belief in Christ and His resurrection allow you to move mountains?
I'd like to undo mistakes in my past. There are times when I try to imagine myself in the past and how I'd change things. I concentrate really hard. I close my eyes. I pray. But when my eyes open, nothing has changed. I can not even manage a mustard seed.
Perhaps Yoda was right, "Do, or do not, there is no try."
Part One - Heroes
On the TV Show, Heroes, several people have seemingly developed super powers overnight according to a theory of evolution posited by one of the main characters now deceased father. The idea being that these "Heroes" would gain these powers just in time to preserve the human race from some disaster, much like evolution teaches us that giraffe's developed long necks so that they could eat leaves higher up in the branches - had they not done so, they would have gone extinct. Its the idea that the chicken comes before the egg. But that is neither here nor there. These heroes have super powers. They can fly and teleport and go backwards and forwards into the future and paint the future and hear thoughts, etc... No clue as to how these particular abilities are going to save the world, but I'll leave that to the writers to decide.
In the Bible, there are many "heroes" who also develop super powers. Joseph can interpret dreams. Moses is able to part the Red Sea and call down plagues upon Pharoah. Daniel can calm lions. Many can prophesy. Jesus can heal the sick and even raise the dead. All of these "heroes" are sent by God to save the world (a few people at a time, perhaps, or in the case of Jesus, all of us at once). We are then lead to believe that in order to gain super powers, we must be sent by God. We hope to hear His voice in our ears, telling us to leap tall buildings in a single bound. But, of course, it doesn't work that way.
Yet, Jesus said that if we had faith as small as even a mustard seed, we could tell mountains to jump out of the way, and they would move. Now that would be a neat trick.
In today's world, its easy to dismiss the Bible's super powers because, after all, raising the dead isn't nearly as cool as bending over backwards and dodging super-sonic bullets, or stopping in mid-air, turning around and kicking an opponent in the head. Nobody in the Bible has spider sense. Nobody flies. Nobody has metallic claws to gut their opponents. As super powers go, walking on water is pretty lame. In this world of computer animation and fictionalized stories, the Bible pales in comparison.
Except, of course, that they're real. They really happened. Didn't they?
We can recreate the parting of the Red Sea with special effects, draw down plagues on people with computer animation and make-up, and every other show on television seems to resurrect some villain or hero once a week or so. Walking on water? Heck, even Dash from the Incredibles can do that. Feed the 5000? Give me a Star Trek Replicator and a little power from the Dilithium Crystals and I can do that.
In dealing with thoughts of the incredible its hard not to let your imagination take over. And imagination is make believe - not faith. We don't expect man to really fly, nor swing on spider webs through the city. People can't really dodge bullets, and nobody can really raise the dead, nor walk on water, nor spend the night in a cave with hungry lions. And anyone who claims they can interpret your dreams is probably a very good con artist. These things must be simple flights of the imagination combined with some flim flam.
So how does one move mountains? How does one raise the dead or heal the sick? How can faith really do all these things? If I ask God to part San Francisco Bay, would He do it? What if I really concentrated hard and pictured the Bay parting, when I opened my eyes, would it have parted? What missing ingredient am I missing? How do you believe the unbelievable? And how does belief in Christ and His resurrection allow you to move mountains?
I'd like to undo mistakes in my past. There are times when I try to imagine myself in the past and how I'd change things. I concentrate really hard. I close my eyes. I pray. But when my eyes open, nothing has changed. I can not even manage a mustard seed.
Perhaps Yoda was right, "Do, or do not, there is no try."
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Priming The Pump
Word of my blogging demise was, apparently, greatly exaggerated.
It seems that while time away from ICON was good for getting my head back into the game, it didn't actually serve to help me write anything. Words of ICON written in the last week: 0. Words of Novel written since I stopped writing ICON: 0. So, as we move into the second inning, we wipe our hands of any foreign substances and begin again with the score tied.
It seems as if I need to prime the pump for writing. I know, approximately, what I want to say, but the words are just buried below under the gunk of other thoughts, feelings, and potential revelations. I need to clear the baffles. I need to put a scupper in my brain. I need to set sail and dog the hatches and... I've been reading too many nautical books lately.
The time off did give me a chance to clear the air within myself. I flung open the windows of my soul and let a cool breeze blow out all the staleness. I had a tremendous weekend almost entirely devoted to being a Christian. I spent all of Saturday morning helping build a local neighborhood park. It was hard, dirty, and extremely fulfilling work. After that, I took my youth group to a corn maze and got to listen to six teenage girls gab for the entire time. It was an education. On Sunday, after church, I participated in the 2006 Crop Walk to raise funds for the San Francisco Food Bank. Not only did I get to walk my faith, but it was a gorgeous day on the Marina in San Francisco and I got to talk with my church family as we walked to Fort Funston at the foot of the Golden Gate Bridge. The entire weekend was a reminder of what ITS all about.
Community. Friendship. Family. Service. Love. Laughter. Happiness. Working Together.
These aren't just platitudes. They aren't words to be hung on church banners excoriating us to be model Christians. They are what we know to be good things. They are gifts from God, freely given if we but open ourselves to receive them.
So, I'm back. Blog 1, Novel 0. I hope to catch up soon.
It seems that while time away from ICON was good for getting my head back into the game, it didn't actually serve to help me write anything. Words of ICON written in the last week: 0. Words of Novel written since I stopped writing ICON: 0. So, as we move into the second inning, we wipe our hands of any foreign substances and begin again with the score tied.
It seems as if I need to prime the pump for writing. I know, approximately, what I want to say, but the words are just buried below under the gunk of other thoughts, feelings, and potential revelations. I need to clear the baffles. I need to put a scupper in my brain. I need to set sail and dog the hatches and... I've been reading too many nautical books lately.
The time off did give me a chance to clear the air within myself. I flung open the windows of my soul and let a cool breeze blow out all the staleness. I had a tremendous weekend almost entirely devoted to being a Christian. I spent all of Saturday morning helping build a local neighborhood park. It was hard, dirty, and extremely fulfilling work. After that, I took my youth group to a corn maze and got to listen to six teenage girls gab for the entire time. It was an education. On Sunday, after church, I participated in the 2006 Crop Walk to raise funds for the San Francisco Food Bank. Not only did I get to walk my faith, but it was a gorgeous day on the Marina in San Francisco and I got to talk with my church family as we walked to Fort Funston at the foot of the Golden Gate Bridge. The entire weekend was a reminder of what ITS all about.
Community. Friendship. Family. Service. Love. Laughter. Happiness. Working Together.
These aren't just platitudes. They aren't words to be hung on church banners excoriating us to be model Christians. They are what we know to be good things. They are gifts from God, freely given if we but open ourselves to receive them.
So, I'm back. Blog 1, Novel 0. I hope to catch up soon.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
ICON NO MORE
This is my last post.
It has become increasingly obvious to me that blogging, while fun, is not very productive and has begun to use up my creative resources in things of a finite and immediate pleasure. Since I started blogging over a year ago, my writing has nearly ground to a halt and I have not had much success in starting new ventures. Therefore, I will curtail any further blogging until such time as I can get back on track.
With any luck, the text of my next blog will read, "I have just been published!"
Thank you all for reading my little corner of the web. I appreciate your support and your comments. I will not be disappearing entirely, however, so you will still see me active as a reader. But I will not post any more blogs, so you can stop checking to see if there's anything new. I could not have come as far as this without your support.
And now, may the grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ, be with you all, now and forever. Amen.
It has become increasingly obvious to me that blogging, while fun, is not very productive and has begun to use up my creative resources in things of a finite and immediate pleasure. Since I started blogging over a year ago, my writing has nearly ground to a halt and I have not had much success in starting new ventures. Therefore, I will curtail any further blogging until such time as I can get back on track.
With any luck, the text of my next blog will read, "I have just been published!"
Thank you all for reading my little corner of the web. I appreciate your support and your comments. I will not be disappearing entirely, however, so you will still see me active as a reader. But I will not post any more blogs, so you can stop checking to see if there's anything new. I could not have come as far as this without your support.
And now, may the grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ, be with you all, now and forever. Amen.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
The Slow Boat To Redemption
If there is a thicker person on this planet, I challenge them to a slow witted contest. I am like the proverbial Englishman who takes 30 years to get the punchline to a joke - only, in this case, I take 30 years to get the punchline to the truth. Quick to respond, slow to understand - that's me. And I'm not all that quick to respond, but I'm REALLY slow to understand. Any day now, I expect to fully comprehend something that I allegedly learned in Kindergarten, so if you see me yelling Eureka, you'll know why.
My revelations this week come more recently from the past six months and more deeply from events 15 years ago. We'll start with the mea culpas from less than six months ago, while they're still fresh in my mind.
So as not to be unduly influenced by more creative minds around me, I have perfected a filter around my creative brain which weeds out pretty much all stimulae into the creative centers of my tiny mind. This is helpful when I see movies like Back to the Future and decide that what my spine tingling thriller about renegade priests needs most is a time traveling Delorean. With the filter in place, egregious mistakes in tone and plot are eradicated before they are foist upon my readers. With the filters taken out, I am no better than most television executives siezing upon whatever the latest piece of gossip is in order to create a temporary hit TV show.
Where this filter is not helpful, however, is when I ask for help by having people read my stories and give me feedback. In the old days, if anyone criticized my work, I jumped all over them and told them why they were idiots. This had a negative impact on my ability to recruit people to read my stories. I have since learned to keep those spring loaded responses locked safely in my head. However, I will still dispute their criticism even as I'm hearing it (I completely disagree. It's imperative for the Priest to have this time traveling Delorean... don't you see?). I've dropped the idiot from my defense, but the tone is there. I still feel really bad about it. I'm my own worst enemy. Please, please help me read my book... IDIOT! No, wait... that's not what I meant at all...
The point of all this is that, eventually, I come around to their point of view and that makes me feel even worse. Of course, they were right all along. And of course, I still feel like calling them idiots. But the reality is that I'm the only idiot in this conversation. I'm the one who can't see the obvious.
So, the tweaking I'm doing again on the Novel is as a direct result of all the small critiques I received from various idiots... I mean, people... over the last six months. You were right. I was wrong. And if I'd spent more time fixing the problems and less time defending them, I'd have been done a lot sooner.
Having said that, I want to show that this is a constant pattern in my life. I had a stunning insight the other day. I imagined some of the things I said to my ex-girlfriend fifteen years ago, from her perspective at the time, and I came across looking like a completely insane child. Wow. That would crush my ego if I weren't fifteen years removed from said events. But, see, for fourteen years I struggled with the question of why we broke up and its only now that I'm beginning to understand that one of us wasn't really ready for a relationship at the time... and it wasn't her.
I think wisdom is God's way of letting our psyches and egos down gently. We are, after all, ridiculous creatures with grandiose pretentions about our place in the world. If we were to suddenly be able to see where we actually stood in the scheme of things, our brains would probably melt. But with gradual, dawning wisdom, we can recognize ourselves from a distance, see ourselves in a new light and with a new understanding of our own insignificance, and turn our attention to more important matters.
I am a fool for not listening to the great advice I've been getting about my novel, but I'm remedying that now. I only ask that those who have criticized my work keep doing so. I need to be reshaped and remolded as much as, if not more, than my novel. And the only way that will happen is if someone shines the light of truth on my pathetic and glorious reality.
I'm on the slow boat to redemption, but I am still floating.
My revelations this week come more recently from the past six months and more deeply from events 15 years ago. We'll start with the mea culpas from less than six months ago, while they're still fresh in my mind.
So as not to be unduly influenced by more creative minds around me, I have perfected a filter around my creative brain which weeds out pretty much all stimulae into the creative centers of my tiny mind. This is helpful when I see movies like Back to the Future and decide that what my spine tingling thriller about renegade priests needs most is a time traveling Delorean. With the filter in place, egregious mistakes in tone and plot are eradicated before they are foist upon my readers. With the filters taken out, I am no better than most television executives siezing upon whatever the latest piece of gossip is in order to create a temporary hit TV show.
Where this filter is not helpful, however, is when I ask for help by having people read my stories and give me feedback. In the old days, if anyone criticized my work, I jumped all over them and told them why they were idiots. This had a negative impact on my ability to recruit people to read my stories. I have since learned to keep those spring loaded responses locked safely in my head. However, I will still dispute their criticism even as I'm hearing it (I completely disagree. It's imperative for the Priest to have this time traveling Delorean... don't you see?). I've dropped the idiot from my defense, but the tone is there. I still feel really bad about it. I'm my own worst enemy. Please, please help me read my book... IDIOT! No, wait... that's not what I meant at all...
The point of all this is that, eventually, I come around to their point of view and that makes me feel even worse. Of course, they were right all along. And of course, I still feel like calling them idiots. But the reality is that I'm the only idiot in this conversation. I'm the one who can't see the obvious.
So, the tweaking I'm doing again on the Novel is as a direct result of all the small critiques I received from various idiots... I mean, people... over the last six months. You were right. I was wrong. And if I'd spent more time fixing the problems and less time defending them, I'd have been done a lot sooner.
Having said that, I want to show that this is a constant pattern in my life. I had a stunning insight the other day. I imagined some of the things I said to my ex-girlfriend fifteen years ago, from her perspective at the time, and I came across looking like a completely insane child. Wow. That would crush my ego if I weren't fifteen years removed from said events. But, see, for fourteen years I struggled with the question of why we broke up and its only now that I'm beginning to understand that one of us wasn't really ready for a relationship at the time... and it wasn't her.
I think wisdom is God's way of letting our psyches and egos down gently. We are, after all, ridiculous creatures with grandiose pretentions about our place in the world. If we were to suddenly be able to see where we actually stood in the scheme of things, our brains would probably melt. But with gradual, dawning wisdom, we can recognize ourselves from a distance, see ourselves in a new light and with a new understanding of our own insignificance, and turn our attention to more important matters.
I am a fool for not listening to the great advice I've been getting about my novel, but I'm remedying that now. I only ask that those who have criticized my work keep doing so. I need to be reshaped and remolded as much as, if not more, than my novel. And the only way that will happen is if someone shines the light of truth on my pathetic and glorious reality.
I'm on the slow boat to redemption, but I am still floating.
Monday, October 16, 2006
While You Were Worshipping...
I have discovered the ultimate Sabbath Saving sport that is being played on Sunday and that very well may quickly become the new American Past Time. But I'll come back to that in a minute. First, there is some housecleaning to do...
ICON welcomes White Tie & Tales to its impressive and elite Blogging Roll Call. This new blog from newcomer Bill Robison (my accountant - who will likely give me a good rate for advertising his blog ;) is sure to be very impressive, if sporadic. During the next couple of years, he will be detailing his life story. While not quite as thrilling and soap operaish as Pat's over at Past Imperfect, this saga does have one thing that Pat doesn't - San Francisco as a background. And, I may be biased, but that's really something that can't be beat. So, please click on the link here on my page and go read the first installment of White Tie & Tales and encourage my, ahem, accountant to continue his writing career.
For those of you wondering whatever happened to my novel, you can rest easy - I burned it and am starting all over, which clearly explains global warming. Okay, as tempting as that sounds, its not remotely true. Nothing explains global warming. But I digress... oh yeah, the novel. I have begun work on it again after a lengthy absence. I spent an hour on it last night and changed the first Act title to In Full Measure (a biblical reference to Isaiah... honest!). Tonight, I might actually change a word or two of the actual text, then I'll really be on fire. Or as we in the biz like to say, En Fuego!
Now back to our regularly scheduled sabbath busting sports business.
Baseball used to be our national pasttime. But who has time for it anymore? Nobody can afford the organ you need to play in between each batter and now that they're adding cheerleaders... fuggedaboutit.
Basketball came and went as our national pasttime as fast as it took Michael Jordan to dunk over just about anyone. Too many of them, if you know what I mean... (ticket scalpers is what I meant, so keep your lurid thoughts to yourself!)
Football is a great Sunday game - full of violence and whining and violence and beer commercials and violence. A much more appropriate game for the American psyche, but, unfortunately, one which most of us do not actually play. Why? Because we'd much rather sit on our couch, drink beer, flip channels, and eat pizza on Sunday. While this is all good, and somewhat technically qualifies as a Sabbath Saving type event where we do as little as possible on Sunday, much to the chagrin of our families, it doesn't actually qualify as a sport. Though Bridge does, which confuses me.
The reason Couch Potatoing doesn't qualify as a sport is because there is no competition involved. Believe me, if there was, we'd dominate the sport and own the Olympic Gold Metal in this event. Nobody out couch potatoes an American. You could go into just about any neighborhood in this country, knock down a couple of doors, and drag a few lazy SOB's off their couches and create a Dream Team. But, once again, no sport, no sports governing body, no Olympic inclusion. Its all politics, I'm sure.
BUUUUTTTTTTT... there is an alternative that allows you to save Sabbath time by sitting on your butt, watching TV, doing nothing, drinking beer, eating pizza, etc... AND still compete in a sport! This is surely an American invention - A sport where you don't actually have to do Anything!
I'm talking, of course, about Fantasy Football.
You select a team, put them together, and then let them play. While you're sitting on the couch, etc... obeying God's command to rest on His holy day, you are actually competing for points and prestige and valuable prizes. (valuable prizes not available in every league - see league rules for details. Questionable legal babble may apply.)
Just yesterday, while I lay on my bed, remote in hand, contemplating massive title changes to my novel, I was racking up touchdown after touchdown after touchdown - putting points on the board with the greatest of ease. And still completely Sabbath safe from having to lift a finger in work. I may not yet be a five tool Sunday Sports Star (I didn't have pizza or beer, but I did have a remote and I was in a reclined position), but I hope to someday be counted amongst the Sunday elites racking up points on earth and in Heaven at the same time.
(Legal disclaimer: Fantasy Football may, in fact, violate the spirit of the Sabbath. ICON does not endorse its own claims. Play responsibly.)
ICON welcomes White Tie & Tales to its impressive and elite Blogging Roll Call. This new blog from newcomer Bill Robison (my accountant - who will likely give me a good rate for advertising his blog ;) is sure to be very impressive, if sporadic. During the next couple of years, he will be detailing his life story. While not quite as thrilling and soap operaish as Pat's over at Past Imperfect, this saga does have one thing that Pat doesn't - San Francisco as a background. And, I may be biased, but that's really something that can't be beat. So, please click on the link here on my page and go read the first installment of White Tie & Tales and encourage my, ahem, accountant to continue his writing career.
For those of you wondering whatever happened to my novel, you can rest easy - I burned it and am starting all over, which clearly explains global warming. Okay, as tempting as that sounds, its not remotely true. Nothing explains global warming. But I digress... oh yeah, the novel. I have begun work on it again after a lengthy absence. I spent an hour on it last night and changed the first Act title to In Full Measure (a biblical reference to Isaiah... honest!). Tonight, I might actually change a word or two of the actual text, then I'll really be on fire. Or as we in the biz like to say, En Fuego!
Now back to our regularly scheduled sabbath busting sports business.
Baseball used to be our national pasttime. But who has time for it anymore? Nobody can afford the organ you need to play in between each batter and now that they're adding cheerleaders... fuggedaboutit.
Basketball came and went as our national pasttime as fast as it took Michael Jordan to dunk over just about anyone. Too many of them, if you know what I mean... (ticket scalpers is what I meant, so keep your lurid thoughts to yourself!)
Football is a great Sunday game - full of violence and whining and violence and beer commercials and violence. A much more appropriate game for the American psyche, but, unfortunately, one which most of us do not actually play. Why? Because we'd much rather sit on our couch, drink beer, flip channels, and eat pizza on Sunday. While this is all good, and somewhat technically qualifies as a Sabbath Saving type event where we do as little as possible on Sunday, much to the chagrin of our families, it doesn't actually qualify as a sport. Though Bridge does, which confuses me.
The reason Couch Potatoing doesn't qualify as a sport is because there is no competition involved. Believe me, if there was, we'd dominate the sport and own the Olympic Gold Metal in this event. Nobody out couch potatoes an American. You could go into just about any neighborhood in this country, knock down a couple of doors, and drag a few lazy SOB's off their couches and create a Dream Team. But, once again, no sport, no sports governing body, no Olympic inclusion. Its all politics, I'm sure.
BUUUUTTTTTTT... there is an alternative that allows you to save Sabbath time by sitting on your butt, watching TV, doing nothing, drinking beer, eating pizza, etc... AND still compete in a sport! This is surely an American invention - A sport where you don't actually have to do Anything!
I'm talking, of course, about Fantasy Football.
You select a team, put them together, and then let them play. While you're sitting on the couch, etc... obeying God's command to rest on His holy day, you are actually competing for points and prestige and valuable prizes. (valuable prizes not available in every league - see league rules for details. Questionable legal babble may apply.)
Just yesterday, while I lay on my bed, remote in hand, contemplating massive title changes to my novel, I was racking up touchdown after touchdown after touchdown - putting points on the board with the greatest of ease. And still completely Sabbath safe from having to lift a finger in work. I may not yet be a five tool Sunday Sports Star (I didn't have pizza or beer, but I did have a remote and I was in a reclined position), but I hope to someday be counted amongst the Sunday elites racking up points on earth and in Heaven at the same time.
(Legal disclaimer: Fantasy Football may, in fact, violate the spirit of the Sabbath. ICON does not endorse its own claims. Play responsibly.)
Friday, October 13, 2006
Friday Category
Ah, my dear friend Andy is having a bad day so I thought we'd all try to cheer him up. What he needs now is the three best song titles of current songs that could serve as the new theme song of the Girl Scouts of America. (I.E. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.)
So, put on your ITUNES thinking caps and lets dooooo iiiiitttttttt!
Name the three best song titles that could serve as the new theme song of the Girl Scouts of America...
So, put on your ITUNES thinking caps and lets dooooo iiiiitttttttt!
Name the three best song titles that could serve as the new theme song of the Girl Scouts of America...
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Still Waters
I've been very still, very quiet lately. Sitting in my house, watching the new network shows, reading new books, drawing, eating, mostly with my mind in neutral - like a giant computer that has too much data pouring through it at the same time, I look like I'm doing nothing. This idling of my life is strenuous for me. I don't like to sit still. I like to be doing things. I was not made for rest.
Over the weekend I made a movie. I now have footage for three films sitting in my camera waiting for my editing skills to kick in. Each of these projects waits like a long line of cars on the freeway, everyone trying to get to their ultimate destination but the sheer volume of traffic has brought everything to a stand still. I can't edit the movie because...
The novel is going nowhere. It needs to be tweaked. But the tweaks that I'm now contemplating were not tweaks I contemplated before. Do I really want to do another rewrite? What if rewriting it again is the only way I'll ever get it published? But maybe I'm just stalling? Or maybe I'm scared of rejection and I'm using new ideas to delay the inevitable? I can't rewrite until I know the motivation for rewriting. I can't edit until I know if I'm rewriting. I can't very well seek an agent until I know how much more work needs to be done on the novel. I can't do anything with the novel because...
My website needs updating. Its old and haggard and I've gone so far beyond its capabilities. But before I change the website I have to determine what the new site will look like. Before I can decide what the new site will look like, I need to know what the capabilities of the server will be. Before I can figure out the capabilities of the server, I need to determine what capabilities I absolutely need from the server. Before I can determine those capabilities, I need to figure out what sort of things will be on the website. This is getting me nowhere except for the knowledge that I need a new server before I build a new website. I can't do anything with a new server because...
I really need to buckle myself down and work on Heaven lessons for the youth group. But I don't know where to look. And its gonna be a lot of research. And I'm not a very good youth leader. And, oh, this is all so frustrating...
Gridlock. On the surface, I'm calm and cool and collected. I look like a guy without a care in the world - just floating along. But deep down, under those still waters, a storm is raging - horns blaring, people yelling, overturned apple carts, police whistles, unbearable noise and frustration. I'm drowning in things to do and I can't find a life line.
Eventually, I know, I will be able to move one piece and the rest will begin to flow from there. But, in the meantime, I'm bottled up. I can't think. I can't write. And nothing feels or tastes good. Its like sensory overload depression. A straitjacket of indecision.
The last time I felt this way was in 2001. In Novemeber of that year, I finally snapped out of it by deciding to write my Novel. These feelings are nothing new for me. But they sure are annoying. Something is coming, of that I'm sure, but I wish it'd get here already.
Over the weekend I made a movie. I now have footage for three films sitting in my camera waiting for my editing skills to kick in. Each of these projects waits like a long line of cars on the freeway, everyone trying to get to their ultimate destination but the sheer volume of traffic has brought everything to a stand still. I can't edit the movie because...
The novel is going nowhere. It needs to be tweaked. But the tweaks that I'm now contemplating were not tweaks I contemplated before. Do I really want to do another rewrite? What if rewriting it again is the only way I'll ever get it published? But maybe I'm just stalling? Or maybe I'm scared of rejection and I'm using new ideas to delay the inevitable? I can't rewrite until I know the motivation for rewriting. I can't edit until I know if I'm rewriting. I can't very well seek an agent until I know how much more work needs to be done on the novel. I can't do anything with the novel because...
My website needs updating. Its old and haggard and I've gone so far beyond its capabilities. But before I change the website I have to determine what the new site will look like. Before I can decide what the new site will look like, I need to know what the capabilities of the server will be. Before I can figure out the capabilities of the server, I need to determine what capabilities I absolutely need from the server. Before I can determine those capabilities, I need to figure out what sort of things will be on the website. This is getting me nowhere except for the knowledge that I need a new server before I build a new website. I can't do anything with a new server because...
I really need to buckle myself down and work on Heaven lessons for the youth group. But I don't know where to look. And its gonna be a lot of research. And I'm not a very good youth leader. And, oh, this is all so frustrating...
Gridlock. On the surface, I'm calm and cool and collected. I look like a guy without a care in the world - just floating along. But deep down, under those still waters, a storm is raging - horns blaring, people yelling, overturned apple carts, police whistles, unbearable noise and frustration. I'm drowning in things to do and I can't find a life line.
Eventually, I know, I will be able to move one piece and the rest will begin to flow from there. But, in the meantime, I'm bottled up. I can't think. I can't write. And nothing feels or tastes good. Its like sensory overload depression. A straitjacket of indecision.
The last time I felt this way was in 2001. In Novemeber of that year, I finally snapped out of it by deciding to write my Novel. These feelings are nothing new for me. But they sure are annoying. Something is coming, of that I'm sure, but I wish it'd get here already.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Contemplate This...
Hosea 10:12 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
12 Sow for yourselves righteousness,
reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground;
for it is time to seek the LORD,
until he comes
and showers righteousness on you.
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
[NIV at IBS] [International Bible Society] [NIV at Zondervan] [Zondervan]
New International Version (NIV)
12 Sow for yourselves righteousness,
reap the fruit of unfailing love,
and break up your unplowed ground;
for it is time to seek the LORD,
until he comes
and showers righteousness on you.
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
[NIV at IBS] [International Bible Society] [NIV at Zondervan] [Zondervan]
Friday, October 06, 2006
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I figure I got one more career change in me. Whatever I choose to do in 18 months will be my last career change (for now ;). The ideal, of course, is to publish and become a well respected and highly paid author. And that's the career path I will be pursuing. But... its still fun to speculate.
I have thought that if I have to work for someone else there are a few areas that interest me - dream jobs, so to speak. You might notice a trend here. First, my absolute dream job would be as a Disney Imagineer. To sit around all day and dream, plan, and execute the new rides and attractions at Disney Theme Parks would be the ultimate cool job. Of course, I don't know engineering, nor can I draw anything more complicated than a stick figure (as all the laughs at my pathetic storyboards for my new movie remind me ;) But I am handy creatively speaking and I'm willing to try anything creative, so long as you don't expect Michelangelo. Second, I thought it'd be very cool to work as a sound designer for ILM. But, my level of ignorance in this area astounds me. Still, it'd be a fun thing to learn.
There are, of course, all the tried and true career ideas that have come and gone in my head - travel agent, CIA, teacher, etc... Most of these jobs play to one of my strengths - but a career?
I guess the question would be, regardless of your abilities, if there was one job you could do with the proviso that it paid enough to live off of, what would you want to be when you grow up?
I will continue my "job" search.
I have thought that if I have to work for someone else there are a few areas that interest me - dream jobs, so to speak. You might notice a trend here. First, my absolute dream job would be as a Disney Imagineer. To sit around all day and dream, plan, and execute the new rides and attractions at Disney Theme Parks would be the ultimate cool job. Of course, I don't know engineering, nor can I draw anything more complicated than a stick figure (as all the laughs at my pathetic storyboards for my new movie remind me ;) But I am handy creatively speaking and I'm willing to try anything creative, so long as you don't expect Michelangelo. Second, I thought it'd be very cool to work as a sound designer for ILM. But, my level of ignorance in this area astounds me. Still, it'd be a fun thing to learn.
There are, of course, all the tried and true career ideas that have come and gone in my head - travel agent, CIA, teacher, etc... Most of these jobs play to one of my strengths - but a career?
I guess the question would be, regardless of your abilities, if there was one job you could do with the proviso that it paid enough to live off of, what would you want to be when you grow up?
I will continue my "job" search.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Change of Course
I still don't think that's spelled right.
Anyway...
Like some people around here, I've been stuck in the doldrums of life - my sails lying loose as I stare at the still air around me and wonder what new course to set. Lately, I've felt the wind stirring again and I've known that the winds of change are blowing around me.
So today I made a decision. I don't know what I'm going to do next, but I at least know the time frame. Next year, or so, will be my last year at this current company. I've grown bored with the idea of inventory control. I'm ready to try something new. In approximately April of 2008, I will say goodbye to this company and board a plane to Scotland for one month. When I return, I will start a new phase of my life.
The deadline has been set. Now comes the hard part... trying to figure out what to do next.
Anyway...
Like some people around here, I've been stuck in the doldrums of life - my sails lying loose as I stare at the still air around me and wonder what new course to set. Lately, I've felt the wind stirring again and I've known that the winds of change are blowing around me.
So today I made a decision. I don't know what I'm going to do next, but I at least know the time frame. Next year, or so, will be my last year at this current company. I've grown bored with the idea of inventory control. I'm ready to try something new. In approximately April of 2008, I will say goodbye to this company and board a plane to Scotland for one month. When I return, I will start a new phase of my life.
The deadline has been set. Now comes the hard part... trying to figure out what to do next.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
When all else fails...
I admit to now being caught up in a Communist conspiracy to destroy this country. Long believed to have given up due to a lack of recruits, it is clear now that the Communists have merely gone into hiding while they seek to subvert this nation with lies and hypocrisy. But I have caught on to their lies and deceit and I now know better.
I was clearly informed in the news that the writ of Habeus Corpus was being suspended by the bill that the Senate passed last week. I was not the only person who read this article and took its meaning to be that Habeus Corpus was suspended. A very fine lawyer who is a friend of my sister also blogged about the exact same thing and with the exact same passion and anger. We were both duped. According to another very fine lawyer, Randall Sherman, who knows a thing or two about legal gobbledygook used in the writing of these complex bills, Habeus Corpus is not suspended at all. Not even close.
Is this another attempt by Democrats to get a rise out of its supporters by claiming things falsely? Is this another attempt by Republicans to lie to their right wing constituents by showing they are tough on terror, even when they're not willing to suspend the Constitution to go after these bad guys? I know I didn't misread it. Therefore, someone in the know clearly misinformed the public.
Apparently, any news of this bill has long since been buried by the sexual escapades of Congressman Foley of Florida. If you read the headlines on the internet, Congressman Foley was set up by the Democrats to take a fall right before the mid-term elections... or... Congressman Foley's sexual escapades were covered up until after the mid-term elections to help Republicans take control of the house... or... There were no escapades and the Democrats are falsely creating a scandal in order to destroy Foley and Hastert... or... The entire Republican party is a giant cabal of pimps and drug users and evil men intent on destroying the world and bringing Satan back. I've seen all this on the internet. I know I didn't misread it. Therefore, someone in the know might be trying to misinform the public.
The higher the stakes grow, the more outrageous the claims. I half expect to see a front page headline in the San Francisco Chronicle tomorrow that Barry Bonds bites the heads off live bats because of steroids. But, in other papers, I half expect to see a front page headline that ties Foley to the White House and to Monica Lewinsky (depending on which political affiliation's newspaper you happen to read).
Clearly, someone is playing both sides against each other. This is too much of a thing to be random chance. And no amount of ridiculous luck is going to give Al Queda a chance to run such a perfect psy-op on the American people. No, there is only one group smart enough and capable of running such a smear campaign against both parties at once.
If you guessed the Green Party, you're wrong.
No, my friends... the Communists are back! They have infiltrated our government by convincing us that they are our friends again. And now, they have begun the most outrageous conflict of all. They are destroying us from within.
They almost got me. Don't let them get you. Don't believe anything coming out of the White House or Congress anymore. Its not true. Vote your conscience. Vote for the best person. And may the best person win. Its time we stopped looking at party's and started looking at Americans. After all, I'd take a Republican congressman over a communist one any day of the week! So this election year, vote American.
I was clearly informed in the news that the writ of Habeus Corpus was being suspended by the bill that the Senate passed last week. I was not the only person who read this article and took its meaning to be that Habeus Corpus was suspended. A very fine lawyer who is a friend of my sister also blogged about the exact same thing and with the exact same passion and anger. We were both duped. According to another very fine lawyer, Randall Sherman, who knows a thing or two about legal gobbledygook used in the writing of these complex bills, Habeus Corpus is not suspended at all. Not even close.
Is this another attempt by Democrats to get a rise out of its supporters by claiming things falsely? Is this another attempt by Republicans to lie to their right wing constituents by showing they are tough on terror, even when they're not willing to suspend the Constitution to go after these bad guys? I know I didn't misread it. Therefore, someone in the know clearly misinformed the public.
Apparently, any news of this bill has long since been buried by the sexual escapades of Congressman Foley of Florida. If you read the headlines on the internet, Congressman Foley was set up by the Democrats to take a fall right before the mid-term elections... or... Congressman Foley's sexual escapades were covered up until after the mid-term elections to help Republicans take control of the house... or... There were no escapades and the Democrats are falsely creating a scandal in order to destroy Foley and Hastert... or... The entire Republican party is a giant cabal of pimps and drug users and evil men intent on destroying the world and bringing Satan back. I've seen all this on the internet. I know I didn't misread it. Therefore, someone in the know might be trying to misinform the public.
The higher the stakes grow, the more outrageous the claims. I half expect to see a front page headline in the San Francisco Chronicle tomorrow that Barry Bonds bites the heads off live bats because of steroids. But, in other papers, I half expect to see a front page headline that ties Foley to the White House and to Monica Lewinsky (depending on which political affiliation's newspaper you happen to read).
Clearly, someone is playing both sides against each other. This is too much of a thing to be random chance. And no amount of ridiculous luck is going to give Al Queda a chance to run such a perfect psy-op on the American people. No, there is only one group smart enough and capable of running such a smear campaign against both parties at once.
If you guessed the Green Party, you're wrong.
No, my friends... the Communists are back! They have infiltrated our government by convincing us that they are our friends again. And now, they have begun the most outrageous conflict of all. They are destroying us from within.
They almost got me. Don't let them get you. Don't believe anything coming out of the White House or Congress anymore. Its not true. Vote your conscience. Vote for the best person. And may the best person win. Its time we stopped looking at party's and started looking at Americans. After all, I'd take a Republican congressman over a communist one any day of the week! So this election year, vote American.
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