Walking With My Eyes Closed

Sometimes I like to close my eyes while I'm walking and just listen to the sounds of the Earth around me. Typically its the sound of cars, trucks, and other forms of transportation whizzing by. I imagine the people inside with their faces pressed against the glass watching the world go by them in a blur. I can hear my feet tapping along the sidewalk. In spring, it is the sounds of the birds in the trees and the wind gently rolling across the urban grass.

I have to open my eyes occassionally, though, before I walk into someone or something. While my eyes are closed and I am picturing the world around me, I am usually content that a dead body won't suddenly spring up in my path to trip me up. I have walked the path many times before and I have faith in my ability to hear something approaching. The longer my eyes are closed, however, the more that faith is tested. I can not walk very far on faith alone. I need to see where I am going.

Yet, if I were completely blind, I would not have any choice but to walk with my eyes closed. At first, it would be terrifying. And then, likely, it would be extremely depressing - not being able to do that which I had taken for granted for so long. But eventually my other senses would adjust and my faith in my abilities would grow with it. Before long, I would be able to "see" in many different ways that I had not seen before. My faith would grow strong then and I would be able to walk confidently with my eyes closed.

Just one more...

It is the essence of our sinful nature - three little words, "Just One More". We are never satisfied with what we have. If we are in the dirt, completely desolate, we look up and hope for a mere pittance - survival, health, something to stay alive. We get it and we praise God and rejoice and then say, "And now, would it be too much to ask for something else... just a little more, please?"

There is no limit to this acquisitiveness. We could be the high rulers of the entire Earth with dominion over all living things... and we'd still want something else. It is never enough to stop and say, "You know... I've got enough now. I'll stop. Maybe even give some of this stuff away. I haven't read this book in years. I barely watch TV anymore. This extra computer is just gathering dust. I haven't worn these clothes in ages - heck, I've never worn that outfit."

Christmas season is around the corner. Here we are trying to determine the best gifts for everyone. PlayStation 3's or DVD Players or books or music, some token to show that we love someone. It costs us money and effort to secure these gifts. And then on the big day itself, we rush around in a hurry to get everything done, to check off everything on our Christmas checklist - because we can't miss a thing. We can't be deficient in any way come the holidays. We must have it all... and just a little bit more besides.

Sometimes, I just want it to stop. I want to step away from the human condition for just a few hours. I want to go sit under a tree and contemplate my navel while the birds sing to the glory of God because their unencumbered lives are filled with worms and soaring and song. I just get the feeling we're all making it hard on ourselves. But I can't get away from it all. The wheel is spinning too fast and if I jump off someone is likely to get hurt - maybe even me.

Andy writes today, brilliantly, about it never being too much to do things for God. But, sometimes, I wonder. Does He really want this life for us? Does He really want us to be constantly taking on even more burdens so that we become swallowed by them? How many times did Jesus rest? How many times did He just walk away from the crowds and let the birds sing to Him? There is more to following Jesus than work. There is following Jesus in rest. Sometimes we must listen to our heads, as well as our hearts, and lay down our weary load so that others can take them up.

Ocassionally, we must say, "No thanks, I've had enough."

Entirely A Work Of Fiction...

No matter what you read, unfortunately, the following is a work of fiction...

How I Would Handle This, If I Could Handle It Correctly
By
Will Robison

"They're going to do what?" I would exclaim with exasperation. "You're kidding me, right? No. Well, I've got to handle this before it gets out of control."

I would squinch my face really tight, concentrate, and...

Startling several high powered execs in ruffled suits, I would magically appear in front of the Fox Boardroom.

"How did you get in here?" they would ask.

"During times of crisis, humans can evolve special skills necessary to solve problems," I would say.

"What do you want?" they would ask, as they called for security.

I would squinch my face again and stop time. Then I would walk around the table to each of the execs and smack them upside the head as hard as I can. Then I would go to the board and write six words... "Stop the O.J., Save the World!"

When I restarted time, they would find the words written on the board and I would be missing. But where would I have gone?

Appearing in the headquarters of Reaganbooks Publishing, I would seek out the Publisher responsible for this fiasco. After smacking her around, I would write the same words on her board, then find the galleys of this book and burn it.

Then, it would be off to Rockingham, or some golf course somewhere. I would find the devil in this matter. I would talk to him, tell him that he was an idiot, and then get him to confess to the crime in some way that didn't allow him to make money on the deal. After getting the confession, the devil would find himself teleported to a small desert island where he could harm no one else and where he could hunt or be hunted by polar bears all day long.

My work done, I would transport myself back to my office, and blog about it.

But, of course, I can't do any of these things. All I can do is not watch, not read, and not pay any attention to Mr. O.J. Simpson.

Stop the O.J., Save The World!

In Full Measure

I just wanted to let everyone get up to date with news of the Novel. First of all, I decided to split my incredibly long book into three novels (more money for me! ;) so that I could make the saga even longer. Second of all, the name of the first novel will be, "In Full Measure". Third of all, I have started the rewriting necessary to convert the first act of one novel into a stand alone novel. I am one chapter done and have synopsized the second act. Those of you who have read the first ten chapters will notice some minor changes. Those changes will pay off at the end of the first act.

I didn't do this to delay the completion of the novel. I did this for two reasons that sort of hit me simultaneously. In chronological order... Even before I started sending out queries to agents I knew that there was a good possibility that the novel would be unsellable in its original condition (1100 pages is almost unheard of from an established writer, let alone a complete novice). In my mind, I made contingency plans figuring out where to divide the story in half, if I had to. It occurred to me, in passing, that if I were to convert it into three stories, I would have to put a lot of extra work into it - but that I'd have some room to add some things that I deemed too much for the original story.

However, as I reached Chapter 22 of the final tweaking, I ran smack dab into a wall. The chapter didn't read right to me and it was a pivotal chapter in the entire book. As I tried to backtrack to determine how to fix this one chapter, I became more and more disenchanted with the book. It was missing a certain drive, a certain coolness factor that I had in my head. I had gutted the story to make it fit 1100 pages, and in the process, I had taken out all the stuff that made the story cool - in favor of stuff that made the story deep. I realized with something akin to horror that the only way to fix the story would be to make some small, but lengthy changes, to the story.

I cooled my heels for two months, hoping that things would fix themselves. In those two months, I got four rejection letters from agents. While that wasn't an avalanche of negativity, I had thought that I might at least get something other than a form letter after two or three queries. The rejection didn't make me think the whole novel was doomed... but it pushed me to reconsider the parts I had previously left out.

In the end, I knew I had to make the changes. The first act had the fewest changes to make, but the changes would resolve some of the longest problems I've had with the book (problems I never addressed during any version of the story). By having so few changes to make, I hope to finish the novel (again) quickly and get it back out to agents before spring. This time, I have a feeling I'll make a lot more headway.

I'll still get my paycheck for Novel #1 - its just taking a little longer than I thought. The end result is that I'm extremely happy with the changes being made and I think the first act, and first novel, will be much better because of it.

Besides, I think the title is much better than The Thin Line. ;)

Survival of the Fittest

In a recent post about Battlestar Galactica I posed the question about whether we deserved to survive. I've been giving the question much thought lately. But apparently, I'm not the only one. There is a movement afoot by atheists and others questioning the relevancy of not just Christianity, but religion in general. They question whether religion has become a hindrance to further human development. They suggest that perhaps we are holding the human race back with our ancient ways and our redundant beliefs in things that obviously don't exist. Rather than make me angry, this talk has spurred me to question my faith, to question my beliefs, and to wonder if perhaps, they aren't right.

The latest call for the relevancy of religion comes from Sir Elton John himself. While I enjoy his music, I wouldn't say that I turn to him for advice - spiritual or otherwise. But his argument is valid in this current world. Religion seems to be spreading intolerance and hatred, not peace and love. Perhaps we've outlived our usefulness.

With a great deal of humility we must bow our heads and try to see the situation from his perspective. As an avowed homosexual musician, he has surely had his run ins with the religious right of this world. They have no doubt told him that he is damned, that he is evil, and that he is going to hell. They have probably suggested terrible punishments to be delivered to him and have met him with scorn and derision wherever he's gone. If this was the way religious people treated me, I'm fairly certain I would see his point all the way and there would be very little that might disuade me from that opinion.

With an even greater humility, we must admit that he is right. Christians have become murders, rapists, child molesters, thieves, cheats, genocidal leaders, and greedy money hoarding capitalists. We have become the worst sinners. We ought to be damned into irrelevancy. We ought to be destroyed.

But we're not.

And that's my counter argument to the position owned by a growing minority. We are all the terrible things you tell us that we are. We have done all of the things you claim. We have been evil. We have been wicked. We have hurt. We have destroyed. But we are saved despite these things. We are saved because no matter how flawed we are or become, we try to emulate the love and the peace of Jesus Christ, the son of God. We are saved because we hope to be better than we are. We hope to heal, to feed, to clothe, to house. We are saved because we have hope that we will become something that we are not.

If you divide the world into two groups, Christians and the rest, you will discover that both groups have the exact same characteristics. But whereas we hope to be saved through our faith and our actions, they do not have any hope.

Our hope is what sets us apart. Our hope is what keeps us relevant. We deserve to survive precisely because if we disappear, humanity loses all hope.

What I would do now...

We finally won. The country finally came to its senses. And now, here is what I would do next...

Pray.

Lots and lots of prayer. Its time to find out what together we can do for the brotherhood of man. Its time to find out what real plan God has in store for this nation and its people. Its time for quiet discernment on the toughest issues of the day.

I'm not talking political prayer - where one side claims to know what God is thinking. I'm not talking about in your face prayer, "Dear God, thank you for giving us a clear mandate for change and now here's how we're going to run things without anyone else's help." I'm talking about quiet, all-inclusive, bipartisan, heck - non-partisan, heartfelt, deeply yearning prayer.

Call in all the politicians - Democrats, Republicans, Independents - from the highest post in the land to the lowest, add the Judicial branch as well, and the civilian heads of the various departments, and put them in a room together and pray.

Pray for guidance. Pray for deliverance. Pray for thanksgiving. Pray for the world. And let God answer their prayers. Let Him guide them and deliver them. Let Him be thanked and hear concerns. And let us become a force for His good in the world. Let us be a Christian nation in deed as well as word.

We can only survive together if our prayers are the same.

Encouraging bad behavior...

No matter how you voted today, you encouraged bad behavior. Both sides in this election should be sent to their rooms without supper. They were both extremely naughty. No political trick and gimmick was left unused. No negative thing left unsaid. No speech left unexploited. This was American politics at its ugliest.

I may not have the depth of others when it comes to my time at the voting booth. I know others have had more election experience than I have and so, perhaps, there have been dirtier and more confusing elections held before. But this election was the most costliest and had the most media saturation of any election ever - until the next one.

Both sides will tell you that they are only doing this because this is what it takes to win. Well, to be honest, I stopped listening, reading, discussing, and watching politics several weeks ago. My mind was made up a long time before and in some cases, further ads only served to strengthen my opinion or sway me over to the side opposite the one they were trying to cajole me into joining. It got to the point that I ended up voting for some people simply because I liked the sound of their name.

Now, I'm in 100% agreement with the Supreme Court that election materials and advertising is a protected form of speech, and in fact, one of the most important forms of protected speech. But there has to be some sort of restraint involved. We've had wildly inaccurate claims from both sides, innuendo disguised as political fact, and outrageous connections that villify opponents and connote them as terrorists or traitors or both. Conspiracy theories abound. Voters no longer trust the sanctity of the voting booth. Surely the clear and present danger clause of Free Speech covers this.

The whole point of a democratic process is that an INFORMED public goes and votes their mind in a free way to determine the best outcome by a majority of all citizens. If we allow the removal of the Informed process, then our voting is a waste of time. At that point, we are merely voting for the candidate or party or political apparatus that lies the best. That is not only not in the best interest of our nation, it is dangerous to our democracy. We are then voting for rhetoric and not for fact.

We need to change our election process. We need to reward those who speak the truth and keep us informed. We need to embrace those who bring us together with their words and not drive us apart with their politics. We are a mighty nation. We are a good nation. And we have a good system of government. We should all do everything in our power to protect it from all enemies, foreign and domestic, who would seek to subvert it.

Its two years to the Presidential election. We need to move quickly if we are going to avoid another election like this one.

Go Tell It...

First the facts and statistics:
Mt. San Bruno - Summit Trail - 3.1 miles - 725 Feet Elevation Climb - Terrain: Narrow trails through overgrown trees and bushes and rocky paths, 1.5 miles downhill and flat, 1.5 miles uphill - Time to complete: 1 hour 40 minutes.

On Saturday morning, I made my first solo hike in years, my first hike of any sort in at least 9 months, and my first summit in years. I chose Mt. San Bruno not only because its in my backyard, but because it was a relatively short hike. I wasn't as limber as I want to be, but it wasn't nearly as hard as it could have been. I kept a relatively steady pace up the side of the mountain, but stopped frequently to rest my weary legs. My knees and calves held up quite nicely. As this was an exhibition hike and outside of my usual hiking season, I carried the bare minimum - and that didn't include water (mostly because I forgot it in my truck). That means, no pictures. Most of the hiking time was spent getting up the hill. I've never been good with hills - even when I was in fabulous shape in high school.

As I walked along one of the ridge spines towards the summit, some thoughts occurred to me in the form of a prayer.

Lord, you ask us to climb a mountain.
You do not tell us why, but you say it is important.
From the bottom, we look up and can not see the top
because it is shrouded in clouds. Our hearts tremble.
How can we reach the summit? It seems impossible.
But we take a step forward, and then another, and then another.
After what seems a long struggle, we stop and look back
at all that we have accomplished. We can see so much. We have come a long ways.
But then, out of the corner of our eye, we see the mountain
still rising above us - still shrouded in the clouds.
It seems as if we will never reach the top. It seems as if we will
climb forever. But we continue to climb, one step in front of the other,
slowly but deliberately. Each step takes us higher and closer to the top.
Eventually, we will reach the summit, Lord. Eventually, we will do what you wish.
But it has not been easy, and the worst is yet to come as our strength fails us
and our will wavers. We can not summit without you, Lord. It is not possible.
Help us to climb, Oh Lord. Help us to reach the top.
Amen.

The top of Mt. San Bruno was shrouded in fog. I can not tell you what the world looked like below, but I felt a peace up there and an elation because I knew it was all downhill from there.

Next Saturday - I will tackle Butano State Park - maybe even with pictures.

Worst Case Scenario

I found this over at another website and thought that I'd share it with you.

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

So, remember, not everything you read this weekend is true. And on that note, have a nice weekend. See you on Monday!

And you think our guys are out of touch...

Ever since my decision to go to Scotland in 17 months, I've been receiving my daily headlines from the Scottish news via a website called Scotsmen.com. As part of their headlines e-mail every day, they have a bit of This Day in Scottish History. I read this one today and I had to laugh...

Penguin Books were found not guilty of obscenity on this day in 1960, following their trial under the newly introduced Obscene Publications Act after publishing Lady Chatterley's Lover by D.H. Lawrence. Famously, the trial prosecution were ridiculed for being out of touch with the rest of the country after their statement that it was not a book "you would wish your wife or servants to read".

This is just a antidote for all the crazy rhetoric floating around the country right now. If you want my suggestion, boycott all political speech for the next week. You'll feel less soiled on Tuesday.

Failure

If the ultimate goal of interpersonal communication is a well developed relationship, I have failed my brother completely. But I don't know where I went wrong.

For those of you who know my brother Dave, none of what I'm about to say will probably surprise you. In fact, for years I have defended my brother against complaints from all comers - telling them that they just didn't understand his idiosyncracies. Now, I'm not certain that I wasn't only helping to enforce a very negative behavior pattern.

The biggest bruhaha blew up about two months ago. I had made plans to go with my sister and her family to lunch, before heading off to my Mom's house for a family get together that we called Disney Day (we introduce the kids to Disney movies and corrupt them with food and love). My brother Dave is not a big Disney fan and so, even though he'd been invited many times, he didn't usually come along. Well, about an hour before lunch my brother called and wanted to go to lunch with me. I told him that I was already going to lunch with my sister but that he could join us. He said, sure. I told him that I would call him as soon as I learned more. To make a long story short, my sister and I hooked up for lunch and my brother finally called an hour later to say that he was caught in traffic and to keep waiting for him. When I told him that we'd already ordered (because the kids were hungry) he got upset with me and hung up. He called back a minute later and said, "And I'm not going to Disney Day either." And then hung up again. Those were the last, more or less, civil words he's had for me ever since.

Since then, three days before our trip to DisneyWorld he called us and informed us that he wasn't going with us and demanded his money back. We told him to go pound salt in the nicest Christian terms we could manage (but then we tried to get his money back anyway to no effect). He told me that he wouldn't speak to any of us again until he got paid.

I passed all this information along and my parents assumed that he was just blowing hot air. But I just spent the afternoon e-mailing and talking to him again as he reitterated (at the last minute again) that he was not going to help out with Basketball scoring this year. He said several rude things to me, made up many more lies, and then hung up after saying some nasty things.

I have tried to remain calm and civil and Christian. God asks us to forgive and yet the Bible is full of stories about brothers who have the darndest time doing just that. I have asked God for the words of forgiveness and healing, but they don't seem to be coming to me. I have tried to apologize, to beg, to plead, to do anything, but I've mostly just met a wall of silence. His remark today, "As far as I'm concerned, we don't have a relationship anymore," was particularly hurtful - as he intended it.

I am angry. I feel abused. I am confused. I am upset with the lies and the attacks. But mostly I am sad. I feel sorry for my brother who is casting himself loose from my entire family for something he thinks I did to him. If I knew what was at the root of the problem between us, I'd fix it - somehow. I want my brother back. But I can't get that through to him. He doesn't want to listen.

So, when it seems that there is nothing that can be done, I can only turn to God and let Him handle it. I ask your prayers for my brother. And I ask your prayers for me. If my heart has hardened, if I am in the wrong, may I find forgiveness for myself and ask forgiveness of my brother. And if my brother is wrong, may he find forgiveness from me and for himself. And may we both be forgiven by God and restored to his good graces. This has laid heavy on my heart for months now, but I haven't wanted to share because of the ongoing complexity of the situation. But now I need all of your help. So please pray for us.

Amen.

The First Step Begins With A Hat...

There will be a major announcement on my newly revised website in a month or so, but for now, I will leave it to say that I am in training for an event. And the most important part of any person's training cycle is, of course, to look good while doing it. And hence, I need a new hat.

While I have had hiking hats before, I have tended to find them too large, too silly, or too annoying. I need a new hat - one that won't make me sick, one that will drive my walk, and make me feel 6 inches thick. (Sorry, Huey, couldn't help it!) I need a new hat for hiking. I need a hat that will keep my head warm and cool at the same time. I need a hat that will be comfortable. I need a hat that will keep the sweat out of my eyes, the sun off my face, and my hair out of my way. But, mostly, I need a new hat that won't make me look like a dork, or that is so comfortable to wear, I don't care if I look like a dork.

So, does anyone have any suggestions about where I might obtain this holy grail of a hiking hat?

Pass the praise...

I'm not one to pass the praise too often since I like to keep it all for myself, but my sister wrote a rather funny blog post about trying to read a Bible story to her son, Joshua, who turns three in a couple of weeks or so. This is a good laugh.

Check it out here.

WHY?

In the second season of the hit television series, Battlestar Galactica, Captain Adama sits down to have a talk with Sharon who is a former Viper pilot who discovered that she was, in fact, a Cylon that had been infiltrated into the Colonial fleet as a sort of ultimate sleeper agent. Sharon and Adama have history. At the end of Season One, she discovered that she was a Cylon when she walked up to Adama and shot him in the chest at point blank range because her programming (her nature) overcame her and she was unable to stop herself from pulling the trigger. Despite the near death experience, Captain Adama starts talking with Sharon - trying to get information about the Cylons on the one hand, but as a sort of catharsis on the other, working his way towards forgiveness. At the end of one episode, he finally asks, "Why do the Cylons want to destroy us?"

And she responds, "Because you've never asked yourselves why you deserve to survive."

A long time before, in a galaxy far, far away, groups of survivors struggled through the wilderness together moving from clump of brush to clump of brush looking doggedly over their shoulders for pursuing Babylonian soldiers. Jerusalem had been destroyed - its king carried off into exile. The city had been ransacked and burned. Its people had been hacked to death, burned, and, the lucky ones, carried off into exile. Those few who had managed to flee hoped to get as far as Egypt. But they couldn't understand what had gone wrong and why the Babylonians pursued them across the wilderness. "Why do the Babylonians want to destroy us?" they asked. And the prophet might have answered, "Because you never asked yourself why you deserve to survive."

Yesterday, in my church choir loft, surrounded by the few hundred or so remainders of what had once been a thriving church in a once thriving denomination, we sat and listened as our Pastor intoned the terrible news, "If the statistical averages continue to drop, there will be no Presbyterian Church in the United States in 30 years." Our numbers continue to drop. Our new membership classes dry up. We struggle in vain to survive as a denomination and as a church. But we can't understand why we continue to perish. "Why does the world want to destroy us?" And we can't even fathom the answer, "Because we never asked ourselves why we deserve to survive."

Battlestar Galactica is a TV Show and on its flashy surface, you will discover what you expect to see - space jocks, space opera, and great special effects. But at its heart, it asks the tough questions - the questions we each should be asking ourselves. When the world is beating us down and when all things seem gloomy and despair is the last emotion you can find, instead of asking God why He is doing this to us, why He is trying to destroy us, perhaps we should ask God, "How can I deserve to survive?"

What have we done to survive? Our salvation is guaranteed by the blood of Jesus Christ, but what have we done, as a species, to deserve our salvation and our continued survival? We can't feed the hungry. We can't clothe the naked. We can't house the homeless? We can't cure the sick. What exactly have we done to deserve our continued survival? It is only God's love that continues to shield us from extinction. It is only His mercy for which we can hope.

Where does all this doom and gloom come from on such a fine Monday morning? If you saw the way my 49er's played this weekend against the Bears, you wouldn't have to ask. ;)

A Quarter Thousand and One

This is my 251st blog. So let's have fun at my expense...

Today's Category:

Name the three real reasons Will (that's me) came back to blogging after only a week of lay off...

The best answer wins the mutual admiration and condemnation of all participants! So, hop to it!

The Mysteries of Faith - Part One "Heroes"

This will be an ongoing series on mysteries or questions that bother me in the Bible because there are no definitive answers, only faith and questions. I am a rational person who reads the Bible and tries to connect the dots. But when things seem to contradict themselves, or blanket statements seem to good to be true, it leaves me wondering about the validity of the document that we call the Bible. And my only answer to that is to believe it anyway because I'm obviously missing some vital truth that will set my mind at ease. So, please, do not think I am attacking Christianity with these questions. I am merely asking questions in the hopes of finding some answer that will strengthen my understanding of God.

Part One - Heroes

On the TV Show, Heroes, several people have seemingly developed super powers overnight according to a theory of evolution posited by one of the main characters now deceased father. The idea being that these "Heroes" would gain these powers just in time to preserve the human race from some disaster, much like evolution teaches us that giraffe's developed long necks so that they could eat leaves higher up in the branches - had they not done so, they would have gone extinct. Its the idea that the chicken comes before the egg. But that is neither here nor there. These heroes have super powers. They can fly and teleport and go backwards and forwards into the future and paint the future and hear thoughts, etc... No clue as to how these particular abilities are going to save the world, but I'll leave that to the writers to decide.

In the Bible, there are many "heroes" who also develop super powers. Joseph can interpret dreams. Moses is able to part the Red Sea and call down plagues upon Pharoah. Daniel can calm lions. Many can prophesy. Jesus can heal the sick and even raise the dead. All of these "heroes" are sent by God to save the world (a few people at a time, perhaps, or in the case of Jesus, all of us at once). We are then lead to believe that in order to gain super powers, we must be sent by God. We hope to hear His voice in our ears, telling us to leap tall buildings in a single bound. But, of course, it doesn't work that way.

Yet, Jesus said that if we had faith as small as even a mustard seed, we could tell mountains to jump out of the way, and they would move. Now that would be a neat trick.

In today's world, its easy to dismiss the Bible's super powers because, after all, raising the dead isn't nearly as cool as bending over backwards and dodging super-sonic bullets, or stopping in mid-air, turning around and kicking an opponent in the head. Nobody in the Bible has spider sense. Nobody flies. Nobody has metallic claws to gut their opponents. As super powers go, walking on water is pretty lame. In this world of computer animation and fictionalized stories, the Bible pales in comparison.

Except, of course, that they're real. They really happened. Didn't they?

We can recreate the parting of the Red Sea with special effects, draw down plagues on people with computer animation and make-up, and every other show on television seems to resurrect some villain or hero once a week or so. Walking on water? Heck, even Dash from the Incredibles can do that. Feed the 5000? Give me a Star Trek Replicator and a little power from the Dilithium Crystals and I can do that.

In dealing with thoughts of the incredible its hard not to let your imagination take over. And imagination is make believe - not faith. We don't expect man to really fly, nor swing on spider webs through the city. People can't really dodge bullets, and nobody can really raise the dead, nor walk on water, nor spend the night in a cave with hungry lions. And anyone who claims they can interpret your dreams is probably a very good con artist. These things must be simple flights of the imagination combined with some flim flam.

So how does one move mountains? How does one raise the dead or heal the sick? How can faith really do all these things? If I ask God to part San Francisco Bay, would He do it? What if I really concentrated hard and pictured the Bay parting, when I opened my eyes, would it have parted? What missing ingredient am I missing? How do you believe the unbelievable? And how does belief in Christ and His resurrection allow you to move mountains?

I'd like to undo mistakes in my past. There are times when I try to imagine myself in the past and how I'd change things. I concentrate really hard. I close my eyes. I pray. But when my eyes open, nothing has changed. I can not even manage a mustard seed.

Perhaps Yoda was right, "Do, or do not, there is no try."

Priming The Pump

Word of my blogging demise was, apparently, greatly exaggerated.

It seems that while time away from ICON was good for getting my head back into the game, it didn't actually serve to help me write anything. Words of ICON written in the last week: 0. Words of Novel written since I stopped writing ICON: 0. So, as we move into the second inning, we wipe our hands of any foreign substances and begin again with the score tied.

It seems as if I need to prime the pump for writing. I know, approximately, what I want to say, but the words are just buried below under the gunk of other thoughts, feelings, and potential revelations. I need to clear the baffles. I need to put a scupper in my brain. I need to set sail and dog the hatches and... I've been reading too many nautical books lately.

The time off did give me a chance to clear the air within myself. I flung open the windows of my soul and let a cool breeze blow out all the staleness. I had a tremendous weekend almost entirely devoted to being a Christian. I spent all of Saturday morning helping build a local neighborhood park. It was hard, dirty, and extremely fulfilling work. After that, I took my youth group to a corn maze and got to listen to six teenage girls gab for the entire time. It was an education. On Sunday, after church, I participated in the 2006 Crop Walk to raise funds for the San Francisco Food Bank. Not only did I get to walk my faith, but it was a gorgeous day on the Marina in San Francisco and I got to talk with my church family as we walked to Fort Funston at the foot of the Golden Gate Bridge. The entire weekend was a reminder of what ITS all about.

Community. Friendship. Family. Service. Love. Laughter. Happiness. Working Together.

These aren't just platitudes. They aren't words to be hung on church banners excoriating us to be model Christians. They are what we know to be good things. They are gifts from God, freely given if we but open ourselves to receive them.

So, I'm back. Blog 1, Novel 0. I hope to catch up soon.

ICON NO MORE

This is my last post.

It has become increasingly obvious to me that blogging, while fun, is not very productive and has begun to use up my creative resources in things of a finite and immediate pleasure. Since I started blogging over a year ago, my writing has nearly ground to a halt and I have not had much success in starting new ventures. Therefore, I will curtail any further blogging until such time as I can get back on track.

With any luck, the text of my next blog will read, "I have just been published!"

Thank you all for reading my little corner of the web. I appreciate your support and your comments. I will not be disappearing entirely, however, so you will still see me active as a reader. But I will not post any more blogs, so you can stop checking to see if there's anything new. I could not have come as far as this without your support.

And now, may the grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ, be with you all, now and forever. Amen.

The Slow Boat To Redemption

If there is a thicker person on this planet, I challenge them to a slow witted contest. I am like the proverbial Englishman who takes 30 years to get the punchline to a joke - only, in this case, I take 30 years to get the punchline to the truth. Quick to respond, slow to understand - that's me. And I'm not all that quick to respond, but I'm REALLY slow to understand. Any day now, I expect to fully comprehend something that I allegedly learned in Kindergarten, so if you see me yelling Eureka, you'll know why.

My revelations this week come more recently from the past six months and more deeply from events 15 years ago. We'll start with the mea culpas from less than six months ago, while they're still fresh in my mind.

So as not to be unduly influenced by more creative minds around me, I have perfected a filter around my creative brain which weeds out pretty much all stimulae into the creative centers of my tiny mind. This is helpful when I see movies like Back to the Future and decide that what my spine tingling thriller about renegade priests needs most is a time traveling Delorean. With the filter in place, egregious mistakes in tone and plot are eradicated before they are foist upon my readers. With the filters taken out, I am no better than most television executives siezing upon whatever the latest piece of gossip is in order to create a temporary hit TV show.

Where this filter is not helpful, however, is when I ask for help by having people read my stories and give me feedback. In the old days, if anyone criticized my work, I jumped all over them and told them why they were idiots. This had a negative impact on my ability to recruit people to read my stories. I have since learned to keep those spring loaded responses locked safely in my head. However, I will still dispute their criticism even as I'm hearing it (I completely disagree. It's imperative for the Priest to have this time traveling Delorean... don't you see?). I've dropped the idiot from my defense, but the tone is there. I still feel really bad about it. I'm my own worst enemy. Please, please help me read my book... IDIOT! No, wait... that's not what I meant at all...

The point of all this is that, eventually, I come around to their point of view and that makes me feel even worse. Of course, they were right all along. And of course, I still feel like calling them idiots. But the reality is that I'm the only idiot in this conversation. I'm the one who can't see the obvious.

So, the tweaking I'm doing again on the Novel is as a direct result of all the small critiques I received from various idiots... I mean, people... over the last six months. You were right. I was wrong. And if I'd spent more time fixing the problems and less time defending them, I'd have been done a lot sooner.

Having said that, I want to show that this is a constant pattern in my life. I had a stunning insight the other day. I imagined some of the things I said to my ex-girlfriend fifteen years ago, from her perspective at the time, and I came across looking like a completely insane child. Wow. That would crush my ego if I weren't fifteen years removed from said events. But, see, for fourteen years I struggled with the question of why we broke up and its only now that I'm beginning to understand that one of us wasn't really ready for a relationship at the time... and it wasn't her.

I think wisdom is God's way of letting our psyches and egos down gently. We are, after all, ridiculous creatures with grandiose pretentions about our place in the world. If we were to suddenly be able to see where we actually stood in the scheme of things, our brains would probably melt. But with gradual, dawning wisdom, we can recognize ourselves from a distance, see ourselves in a new light and with a new understanding of our own insignificance, and turn our attention to more important matters.

I am a fool for not listening to the great advice I've been getting about my novel, but I'm remedying that now. I only ask that those who have criticized my work keep doing so. I need to be reshaped and remolded as much as, if not more, than my novel. And the only way that will happen is if someone shines the light of truth on my pathetic and glorious reality.

I'm on the slow boat to redemption, but I am still floating.

While You Were Worshipping...

I have discovered the ultimate Sabbath Saving sport that is being played on Sunday and that very well may quickly become the new American Past Time. But I'll come back to that in a minute. First, there is some housecleaning to do...

ICON welcomes White Tie & Tales to its impressive and elite Blogging Roll Call. This new blog from newcomer Bill Robison (my accountant - who will likely give me a good rate for advertising his blog ;) is sure to be very impressive, if sporadic. During the next couple of years, he will be detailing his life story. While not quite as thrilling and soap operaish as Pat's over at Past Imperfect, this saga does have one thing that Pat doesn't - San Francisco as a background. And, I may be biased, but that's really something that can't be beat. So, please click on the link here on my page and go read the first installment of White Tie & Tales and encourage my, ahem, accountant to continue his writing career.

For those of you wondering whatever happened to my novel, you can rest easy - I burned it and am starting all over, which clearly explains global warming. Okay, as tempting as that sounds, its not remotely true. Nothing explains global warming. But I digress... oh yeah, the novel. I have begun work on it again after a lengthy absence. I spent an hour on it last night and changed the first Act title to In Full Measure (a biblical reference to Isaiah... honest!). Tonight, I might actually change a word or two of the actual text, then I'll really be on fire. Or as we in the biz like to say, En Fuego!

Now back to our regularly scheduled sabbath busting sports business.

Baseball used to be our national pasttime. But who has time for it anymore? Nobody can afford the organ you need to play in between each batter and now that they're adding cheerleaders... fuggedaboutit.

Basketball came and went as our national pasttime as fast as it took Michael Jordan to dunk over just about anyone. Too many of them, if you know what I mean... (ticket scalpers is what I meant, so keep your lurid thoughts to yourself!)

Football is a great Sunday game - full of violence and whining and violence and beer commercials and violence. A much more appropriate game for the American psyche, but, unfortunately, one which most of us do not actually play. Why? Because we'd much rather sit on our couch, drink beer, flip channels, and eat pizza on Sunday. While this is all good, and somewhat technically qualifies as a Sabbath Saving type event where we do as little as possible on Sunday, much to the chagrin of our families, it doesn't actually qualify as a sport. Though Bridge does, which confuses me.

The reason Couch Potatoing doesn't qualify as a sport is because there is no competition involved. Believe me, if there was, we'd dominate the sport and own the Olympic Gold Metal in this event. Nobody out couch potatoes an American. You could go into just about any neighborhood in this country, knock down a couple of doors, and drag a few lazy SOB's off their couches and create a Dream Team. But, once again, no sport, no sports governing body, no Olympic inclusion. Its all politics, I'm sure.

BUUUUTTTTTTT... there is an alternative that allows you to save Sabbath time by sitting on your butt, watching TV, doing nothing, drinking beer, eating pizza, etc... AND still compete in a sport! This is surely an American invention - A sport where you don't actually have to do Anything!

I'm talking, of course, about Fantasy Football.

You select a team, put them together, and then let them play. While you're sitting on the couch, etc... obeying God's command to rest on His holy day, you are actually competing for points and prestige and valuable prizes. (valuable prizes not available in every league - see league rules for details. Questionable legal babble may apply.)

Just yesterday, while I lay on my bed, remote in hand, contemplating massive title changes to my novel, I was racking up touchdown after touchdown after touchdown - putting points on the board with the greatest of ease. And still completely Sabbath safe from having to lift a finger in work. I may not yet be a five tool Sunday Sports Star (I didn't have pizza or beer, but I did have a remote and I was in a reclined position), but I hope to someday be counted amongst the Sunday elites racking up points on earth and in Heaven at the same time.

(Legal disclaimer: Fantasy Football may, in fact, violate the spirit of the Sabbath. ICON does not endorse its own claims. Play responsibly.)