After Hole In The Wall, I can see nothing but good times ahead...

It was like getting hit in the head with a giant foam wall and getting knocked into a pool of water. What are the odds of getting two guilty pleasure game shows in one summer season?! First, Wipeout and now Hole In the Wall (kind of like Human Tetris, only with even less mental power needed! ;) But, I digress, because I'm sure that the fact that Hole In The Wall premiered on Fox last night had nothing to do with the epiphanous moment I had today.

So, I kind of understand now what makes me tick. I guess that's a big breakthrough even if I'm not entirely sure of the meaning behind it.

I realized that the one thing I complained about the most (internally) with my youth group was the one thing that I've sort of always been struggling with my whole life, on one end of the spectrum or the other - enthusiasm vs. lethargy.

To recap: To do something you need to have an idea of what to do, you need to know how to do it, you need to have someone willing to do the work, and you need to have someone who has the energy to get the task done.

I have tons of ideas. I am smart enough to know how to do things (most of the time) or to figure out how to do things. I am not always able to find people willing to do the work, but then, most of the time, I'm willing to do the work even if nobody else is. However, where my plans always seem to fall apart is in finding the energy to get the task done. If its a task that I want to do by myself, like writing a novel, I can usually muster whatever energy it takes to do the task even if it sometimes requires prodigious amounts of energy. But when I need help to complete the task, I often find that the people I work with don't come equipped with the enthusiasm to get the task done. I try to be enthusiastic enough for everyone, but their lack of enthusiasm - their lethargy - quickly saps my own enthusiasm and I end up being tired enough for the both of us. The end result may be that the project gets done, but I've lost any enjoyment of it because I'm too tired from getting it completed.

This battle between lethargy and energy has been a constant one for myself. When I get to the end of a project I constantly find myself falling into a period of lethargy afterwards. I've since learned that this is a period where I recharge my batteries for the next challenge, but I've now come to realize that my batteries wouldn't nearly be so drained if I worked with people equally enthusiastic about an outcome.

In my youth group, I've become less enamored with the prospect of running the group primarily because the things I want to do with the group is always met with a lethargic response. "Let's Go On A Mission Trip!" "Yeah, okay... whatever." I can provide the leadership. I can do all the work. But I can't do everything and be enthusiastic enough for the entire group as well. It was really sapping my enjoyment of the entire process to the point where I wondered why I even bothered. But rather than let my enthusiasm for the Lord be overcome by the lethargy of the youth, I decided that perhaps God needed to send someone else to inspire them. He is clearly calling me into areas where my enthusiasm will be better received.

I can also see this process in my decision to make a movie this summer. Though I've tried to make films in the past, I was always fighting the uphill battle of providing the camera, direction, script, and enthusiasm as well. Some of my family and friends were motivated, but not nearly as much as what was needed to finish the project. However, in my film classes, I suddenly met an entire group of people who were as enthusiastic about film making as I was. And in my friend Andrew, I met a group of actors who were enthusiastic about appearing in films as I needed them to be. After spending most of my life having to do all the work and provide all the enthusiasm as well, this was really a most refreshing change. And the end result speaks volumes about my future direction - the movie turned out well, people are still enthusiastic about it, and I've already begun work on my next film project!

I realize that not everyone is as enthusiastic as I am about the things that matter to me. And I realize that I'm not always enthusiastic about the things other people are enthusiastic about. Maybe this is God's way of dividing the Holy Spirit amongst us - not only in the gifts that we receive but in the joy that we finding in doing things.

I think the tragedy of this is when we don't do things because we think nobody will be interested in doing them with us. The Ice Cream Social might meet this fate this year because of the amount of lethargy I'm having to overcome to get it started. I simply refuse to single handedly do everything and provide the energy as well. I'm ready to use my energy where it will be better spent instead of using it to do things that nobody else really wants just because we ought to do it. This might be my new benchmark for determining which projects to tackle and in what order.

Or will that seem a little too much like taking the path of least resistance? Tell me, do you do things that nobody else seems to want to do?