Awakenings

Remember that movie a while back with Robert DeNiro as a mental patient that suffers from a debilitating brain disease that causes him to be a virtual vegetable for most of his life until a doctor discovers a "cure" that wakens him up - only to have some complications along the way (I don't want to give away the ending if you haven't seen it yet). Well, I kind of feel like that right now. My synapses are firing sideways again, or diagonal, or whatever... and I'm feeling especially bizarre.

This is what I like to call... NORMAL.

For those of you who haven't known me for a long time, then you might know the NORMAL me. He has been hiding out for a while (I think he feared extradition to the Hague for Pun Warfare crimes against humanity) biding his time for a return to his evil and wicked ways. Small e evil and small w wicked. This is the NORMAL me who wrote a story, with a certain partner in beachware whose name I won't mention, that ended on an exact replica of Captain Crunch's island from the back of a cereal box. In the same story, I posited a former youth leader of mine piloting the space shuttle. This is the Normal Me who wrote about a wrestling match between a couple of pro-wrestlers and a rock musician on top of a stretch-RV while being pursued through the streets of San Francisco by an entire army (well, it sounded unlikely when I wrote it... now I'm not so sure ;) These are the kinds of ideas NORMAL ME has. These are the kind of mental waves I normally give off. And now, look out... I'm in charge of teaching your children about GOD! BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!

Okay, so admitedly, the idea that I just had about using Fish Dogs to teach kids about God's refining process was a little bizarre - even for me. Fish Dogs are hot dog buns filled with three or so long fish sticks, covered with tartar sauce, and cheese (think of a Filetofish Sandwich in a hot dog bun). I was going to ask for volunteers from the "studio" audience and have them try various things on the old Fish Dog to see if I could "refine" them to make them better. Then I was going to read some of the passages about refining in the Bible and make the comparison that we, and all our sins, are like fish sticks in hot dog buns covered with tartar sauce and cheese. Cause, you know, that's just what it says in the Bible... somewhere... And then God refines us and makes us into something Der Wienerschnitzel can't even imagine ever selling - something that even Pink's or Nathan's would drool over - something so spectacular that that Kobiyashi dude could only eat three or four of, tops!

Do you see where this is going? Cause if you do, let me know. I'm lost. My brain took a left turn somewhere around Topeka and I kept going straight. So, uh, I'm going to Refine my Youth Group plans for this weekend, and maybe go make a Fish Dog while I'm at it. Suddenly I have a craving for one.