Humble Pie

Every once in a while, when we get too full of ourselves, God gives us a nice slice of humble pie to remind us that we have nothing to do with anything. Its all about Him.

I think my last post was a good example of getting too full of one's self. There are times when you look and look and look and all you can see is the dark clouds. You know the silver linings are out there. You believe it deep in your heart. But you just can't see them. Everything looks bad. Everything is depressing. Its easy to get down on yourself and on the world. (For me, its usually when I'm over tired - like a toddler who refuses to take a nap.) On Friday, I knew that I was just tired and I knew that the real world wasn't as dark or bleak as it appeared to me, and yet... I still felt like writing that post. Four rejection letters now - Oh No! It's the End of the World! ;)

But then, I sat down at the long counter of life and God slid a nice slice of humble pie to me and said, "Here. Its kind of bittersweet, but I think you'll like it." I had a few bites on Saturday night when I was looking at the same two kids that had come to youth group for the previous three weeks and I was starting to think that perhaps I was driving the kids away, that maybe someone else should run my youth group - someone the kids liked. The previous week, when I'd been on vacation, the group had swelled to 13 kids. Now there were only two kids. What was I doing wrong? Why was I such a bad youth leader? What sin had I done? What... oh, wait, here comes three more kids!

We had a lot of fun with the games. They sat attentively listening to my "lesson" on Heaven and were eager to participate. And when the evening was over, I felt this huge high. As I got in my car for the ride home, I suddenly thought - I have no control over how many kids show up. Only God can really nudge them to come to youth group. I needn't do anything more than try my hardest and be faithful and God will provide the kids. If He builds it, they will come.

So, then I decided to have a big old piece of that humble pie the next day when our guest sermon was by the Reverend Glenda Hope of Network Ministries in San Francisco. She came to talk to us about a shelter she runs for prostituted women. Her stories were heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time. There wasn't a dry eye in the entire church. Its hard to be down on yourself after that. Its hard to say woe is me when others are going through so much worse and haven't given up yet.

When you are right with God, when you have swallowed that humble pie, its not only easy to see the silver lining in the clouds; its hard to see the clouds through the silver lining. God is truly wonderful. I hope to never forget that... but I'm sure that I will. But its good to know that when I do, God will be waiting there with another slice.