One of the fundamental universal human rights is the right to defend yourself when accused of a crime. If someone says you did something wrong, you must be allowed to have your say about whether the accusation is true or not. If a nation state denies this right to its citizens, it is in violation of those citizens human rights.
I was raised in a country that believes that We the People give our consent to elected officials to create a government that will run this country in such a way as to preserve our rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. In order to preserve these rights, we ordained and established the Constitution of the United States of America. One of the very first ammendments to this Constitution is a guaranteed right to defend ourselves against accusations before being jailed. This right is known by the latin term, Habeas Corpus - which means, Produce The Body.
This right has been suspended once by the President of the United States. Abraham Lincoln in the opening days of the Civil War suspended the writ of habeas corpus in the city of Baltimore so that anti-federalist agitators could be rounded up before they seized the city and separated it from the Union. Considering that Virginia, on one side of Washington D.C. had already seceeded from the Union, had Baltimore also become enemy territory, the United States capitol would have been surrounded. These agitators were rounded up based upon intelligence gathered by real life detectives and they were imprisoned until the threat was considered ended and then released. Even though the act was generally praised as a smart and decisive strategic move, the pro-Lincoln Congress roundly condemned the action of the President as unconstitutional. And indeed, though necessary, Lincoln agonized over the decision before making it.
Today, in the Senate, 51 American Senators under no direct threat whatsoever, threw away our guaranteed constitutional human right to the writ of Habeas Corpus. 51 people have opened up the statue books, found the Constitution of the United States of America, and have ripped them out, torn them up, and burned the pieces. Once this bill takes effect, the Federal Government will be able to have any American citizen arrested without producing evidence or even leveling allegations. They will be allowed to be interrogated here and abroad by means not allowed under the Geneva Convention. And there will be no... NO... recourse nor means to prove one's innocence.
For your information, listed below are the States of this great nation who believe that the Constitution no longer matters based upon their representation in the Senate of the United States:
Grouped by Home State
Alabama: Sessions (R-AL), Nay Shelby (R-AL), Nay
Alaska: Murkowski (R-AK), Nay Stevens (R-AK), Nay
Arizona: Kyl (R-AZ), Nay McCain (R-AZ), Nay
Georgia: Chambliss (R-GA), Nay Isakson (R-GA), Nay
Idaho: Craig (R-ID), Nay Crapo (R-ID), Nay
Kansas: Brownback (R-KS), Nay Roberts (R-KS), Nay
Kentucky: Bunning (R-KY), Nay McConnell (R-KY), Nay
Maine: Collins (R-ME), Nay Snowe (R-ME), Not Voting
Mississippi: Cochran (R-MS), Nay Lott (R-MS), Nay
Missouri: Bond (R-MO), Nay Talent (R-MO), Nay
Nebraska: Hagel (R-NE), Nay Nelson (D-NE), Nay
North Carolina: Burr (R-NC), Nay Dole (R-NC), Nay
Ohio: DeWine (R-OH), Nay Voinovich (R-OH), Nay
Oklahoma: Coburn (R-OK), Nay Inhofe (R-OK), Nay
South Carolina: DeMint (R-SC), Nay Graham (R-SC), Nay
Tennessee: Alexander (R-TN), Nay Frist (R-TN), Nay
Texas: Cornyn (R-TX), Nay Hutchison (R-TX), Nay
Utah: Bennett (R-UT), Nay Hatch (R-UT), Nay
Virginia: Allen (R-VA), Nay Warner (R-VA), Nay
Wyoming: Enzi (R-WY), Nay Thomas (R-WY), Nay
Its time to call it like it is. And its time to tell the truth. This is not a red state/blue state issue, this is a human rights issue. And for those of you who don't feel you have anything to worry about because you're not a terrorist, I believe there are a great many victims of NAZI Germany who had the same attitude at the start of World War II.
Power corrupts. And we've just handed the government the most corrupting power of all - the power to jail us and torture us without charges. I sure hope this makes you feel safer. Because it scares the hell out of me!
Be vigilant. Be safe.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Hypocrisy
I'm not terribly upset about what's currently going on in Washington, but I'm getting frustrated with all the so called pundits who don't seem to have a clue.
Right now, as I write this, the Senate is debating a bill that would allow the continued enforcement of restrictions against our civil liberties - i.e. If the government names you a terrorist suspect, you will not have any right to defend yourself in court. That this information against you will be gathered by covert means despite the fact that the law clearly states such means are illegal seems to no longer be an issue. If it keeps America in business, it must be okay to spy on its own people. Right down the hall, in Congress, executives of HP are being grilled because they spied on their own corporate board members because of intelligence leaks to reporters. Their argument that if it keeps HP in business, it must be okay to spy on its own people, is being universally condemned.
The pundits can't understand where this corporate attitude might have come from and can't figure out why the executive officers would think this was an ethical and moral thing to do. Just in my own head, where ever they said Company, I replaced the word with Country. Guess what? It was the same exact argument.
Further, had the company been spying on its employees to determine who might be leaking information, there would have been no argument whatsoever. Court decision after court decision has backed up a companies right to investigate the privacy of its employees as it relates to corporate matters (I.E. if they think you're doing harm to the company via blogs, e-mails, phone calls, sleeping with employees of other corporations, whatever...)
So, then, the only reason HP is a shock to anyone is because it was Board Executives investigating Board Members... and... reporters (for whom its not illegal to do the same sort of investigation that the Board Executives were doing on them ;)
Secrecy and intelligence gathering is a shadow world where rules and ethics really don't apply. This should be the first thing we all know about the shadow world. The second thing is that you can't be squeamish if you want to play here. If reporters and Congress and the rest of the nation really thinks its okay to delve into this realm, they better plan on checking their rules and ethics at the door. We can't be for spying on our neighbors for the good of the country, if we're not also for spying on ourselves for the good of the country. These things go hand in hand. If reporters are going to attack the business of HP by publishing leaked material gleaned from dark and secret sources, then HP has every right to use the exact same tactics to stop those leaks from occuring.
Only next time, HP should use someone who won't get caught - or if they do, will allow HP to disavow all knowledge of this operation. Jeez, you'd think these Board Executives had never read a spy novel.
Right now, as I write this, the Senate is debating a bill that would allow the continued enforcement of restrictions against our civil liberties - i.e. If the government names you a terrorist suspect, you will not have any right to defend yourself in court. That this information against you will be gathered by covert means despite the fact that the law clearly states such means are illegal seems to no longer be an issue. If it keeps America in business, it must be okay to spy on its own people. Right down the hall, in Congress, executives of HP are being grilled because they spied on their own corporate board members because of intelligence leaks to reporters. Their argument that if it keeps HP in business, it must be okay to spy on its own people, is being universally condemned.
The pundits can't understand where this corporate attitude might have come from and can't figure out why the executive officers would think this was an ethical and moral thing to do. Just in my own head, where ever they said Company, I replaced the word with Country. Guess what? It was the same exact argument.
Further, had the company been spying on its employees to determine who might be leaking information, there would have been no argument whatsoever. Court decision after court decision has backed up a companies right to investigate the privacy of its employees as it relates to corporate matters (I.E. if they think you're doing harm to the company via blogs, e-mails, phone calls, sleeping with employees of other corporations, whatever...)
So, then, the only reason HP is a shock to anyone is because it was Board Executives investigating Board Members... and... reporters (for whom its not illegal to do the same sort of investigation that the Board Executives were doing on them ;)
Secrecy and intelligence gathering is a shadow world where rules and ethics really don't apply. This should be the first thing we all know about the shadow world. The second thing is that you can't be squeamish if you want to play here. If reporters and Congress and the rest of the nation really thinks its okay to delve into this realm, they better plan on checking their rules and ethics at the door. We can't be for spying on our neighbors for the good of the country, if we're not also for spying on ourselves for the good of the country. These things go hand in hand. If reporters are going to attack the business of HP by publishing leaked material gleaned from dark and secret sources, then HP has every right to use the exact same tactics to stop those leaks from occuring.
Only next time, HP should use someone who won't get caught - or if they do, will allow HP to disavow all knowledge of this operation. Jeez, you'd think these Board Executives had never read a spy novel.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
The Straitjacket of Faith
I'm standing on a rock in the fog and I'm declaring my thoughts as of this moment. When then fog clears, a little, I hope to discover that I'm not anywhere near the top of this mountain nor this discussion. If you have differing opinions or thoughts, by all means, call them out to me and I will stumble through the fog towards your voice. That being said...
The Reverend Glenda Hope of Network Ministries started out her sermon the other day by talking to the youth about overcoming peer pressure. She said something to the effect that its really hard to hold strong moral ground when dealing with your peers because of the fear that you will look to be a party pooper. But then she added that when you do stand your ground, you will feel good about yourself. And then you must fight the temptation not to think yourself better than your friends. Its kind of a damned if you do and damned if you don't approach to faith.
These thoughts sort of sum up what I've been trying to wrangle with for several weeks now. Its something I've called the Straitjacket of Faith, and believe me, I think I may be the only one suffering from these conclusions. So this may be a unique mixture of Christian Guilt and my own personality coming together to form gridlock in my brain.
Here's the gist of the problem: Hypothetically, let's say I see a woman and I like her and I want to ask her out. Being a crazy writer, my thoughts race ahead to all sorts of possible scenarios. And many of these scenarios end with my choice of either sinning or losing the woman. I have learned that the quickest way to God's displeasure is to knowingly sin - its double bad because you're not only sinning, but you're knowingly doing so and rejecting God in the process. Therefore, if I get into this relationship with the woman and said sinful scenario comes up and I knowingly reject God in order to sin, then I have really, really, messed up. End result: Its best to avoid that situation entirely. So I won't do anything. Gridlock. Straitjacket.
This is so clearly boneheaded a thought that even I have a hard time following its flawed logic. But the dilemma is still there. God wants us to seek perfection. God wants us to not sin. And yet, we're going to sin when we do things. Therefore, the best way to avoid sinning is to not do anything.
It reminds me of the parable of the servants and their talents. I feel like the one who buried his talents in the dirt so that they would not get lost or stolen. I would look like a genius if the other two servants lost their talents, but they didn't. Because in this scenario, the other two servants are perfect and don't make mistakes. But what would Jesus's response have been had one of the servants invested his two talents and lost them - showing up to his master with nothing to show for his hard work?
There is a risk inherent in doing anything. But it seems to me that seeking perfection and seeking Christ are two very different goals - and yet, maybe, the same thing. Maybe there is a perfection in seeking Christ that allows us to stumble and fall and make mistakes. Maybe there is a perfection in Christ that sees that sometimes we need to take the chance of sinning if it means better understanding.
I don't know. The fog is rolling in again and I still don't see clearly. I'd love to hear your voices on these thoughts.
The Reverend Glenda Hope of Network Ministries started out her sermon the other day by talking to the youth about overcoming peer pressure. She said something to the effect that its really hard to hold strong moral ground when dealing with your peers because of the fear that you will look to be a party pooper. But then she added that when you do stand your ground, you will feel good about yourself. And then you must fight the temptation not to think yourself better than your friends. Its kind of a damned if you do and damned if you don't approach to faith.
These thoughts sort of sum up what I've been trying to wrangle with for several weeks now. Its something I've called the Straitjacket of Faith, and believe me, I think I may be the only one suffering from these conclusions. So this may be a unique mixture of Christian Guilt and my own personality coming together to form gridlock in my brain.
Here's the gist of the problem: Hypothetically, let's say I see a woman and I like her and I want to ask her out. Being a crazy writer, my thoughts race ahead to all sorts of possible scenarios. And many of these scenarios end with my choice of either sinning or losing the woman. I have learned that the quickest way to God's displeasure is to knowingly sin - its double bad because you're not only sinning, but you're knowingly doing so and rejecting God in the process. Therefore, if I get into this relationship with the woman and said sinful scenario comes up and I knowingly reject God in order to sin, then I have really, really, messed up. End result: Its best to avoid that situation entirely. So I won't do anything. Gridlock. Straitjacket.
This is so clearly boneheaded a thought that even I have a hard time following its flawed logic. But the dilemma is still there. God wants us to seek perfection. God wants us to not sin. And yet, we're going to sin when we do things. Therefore, the best way to avoid sinning is to not do anything.
It reminds me of the parable of the servants and their talents. I feel like the one who buried his talents in the dirt so that they would not get lost or stolen. I would look like a genius if the other two servants lost their talents, but they didn't. Because in this scenario, the other two servants are perfect and don't make mistakes. But what would Jesus's response have been had one of the servants invested his two talents and lost them - showing up to his master with nothing to show for his hard work?
There is a risk inherent in doing anything. But it seems to me that seeking perfection and seeking Christ are two very different goals - and yet, maybe, the same thing. Maybe there is a perfection in seeking Christ that allows us to stumble and fall and make mistakes. Maybe there is a perfection in Christ that sees that sometimes we need to take the chance of sinning if it means better understanding.
I don't know. The fog is rolling in again and I still don't see clearly. I'd love to hear your voices on these thoughts.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Humble Pie
Every once in a while, when we get too full of ourselves, God gives us a nice slice of humble pie to remind us that we have nothing to do with anything. Its all about Him.
I think my last post was a good example of getting too full of one's self. There are times when you look and look and look and all you can see is the dark clouds. You know the silver linings are out there. You believe it deep in your heart. But you just can't see them. Everything looks bad. Everything is depressing. Its easy to get down on yourself and on the world. (For me, its usually when I'm over tired - like a toddler who refuses to take a nap.) On Friday, I knew that I was just tired and I knew that the real world wasn't as dark or bleak as it appeared to me, and yet... I still felt like writing that post. Four rejection letters now - Oh No! It's the End of the World! ;)
But then, I sat down at the long counter of life and God slid a nice slice of humble pie to me and said, "Here. Its kind of bittersweet, but I think you'll like it." I had a few bites on Saturday night when I was looking at the same two kids that had come to youth group for the previous three weeks and I was starting to think that perhaps I was driving the kids away, that maybe someone else should run my youth group - someone the kids liked. The previous week, when I'd been on vacation, the group had swelled to 13 kids. Now there were only two kids. What was I doing wrong? Why was I such a bad youth leader? What sin had I done? What... oh, wait, here comes three more kids!
We had a lot of fun with the games. They sat attentively listening to my "lesson" on Heaven and were eager to participate. And when the evening was over, I felt this huge high. As I got in my car for the ride home, I suddenly thought - I have no control over how many kids show up. Only God can really nudge them to come to youth group. I needn't do anything more than try my hardest and be faithful and God will provide the kids. If He builds it, they will come.
So, then I decided to have a big old piece of that humble pie the next day when our guest sermon was by the Reverend Glenda Hope of Network Ministries in San Francisco. She came to talk to us about a shelter she runs for prostituted women. Her stories were heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time. There wasn't a dry eye in the entire church. Its hard to be down on yourself after that. Its hard to say woe is me when others are going through so much worse and haven't given up yet.
When you are right with God, when you have swallowed that humble pie, its not only easy to see the silver lining in the clouds; its hard to see the clouds through the silver lining. God is truly wonderful. I hope to never forget that... but I'm sure that I will. But its good to know that when I do, God will be waiting there with another slice.
I think my last post was a good example of getting too full of one's self. There are times when you look and look and look and all you can see is the dark clouds. You know the silver linings are out there. You believe it deep in your heart. But you just can't see them. Everything looks bad. Everything is depressing. Its easy to get down on yourself and on the world. (For me, its usually when I'm over tired - like a toddler who refuses to take a nap.) On Friday, I knew that I was just tired and I knew that the real world wasn't as dark or bleak as it appeared to me, and yet... I still felt like writing that post. Four rejection letters now - Oh No! It's the End of the World! ;)
But then, I sat down at the long counter of life and God slid a nice slice of humble pie to me and said, "Here. Its kind of bittersweet, but I think you'll like it." I had a few bites on Saturday night when I was looking at the same two kids that had come to youth group for the previous three weeks and I was starting to think that perhaps I was driving the kids away, that maybe someone else should run my youth group - someone the kids liked. The previous week, when I'd been on vacation, the group had swelled to 13 kids. Now there were only two kids. What was I doing wrong? Why was I such a bad youth leader? What sin had I done? What... oh, wait, here comes three more kids!
We had a lot of fun with the games. They sat attentively listening to my "lesson" on Heaven and were eager to participate. And when the evening was over, I felt this huge high. As I got in my car for the ride home, I suddenly thought - I have no control over how many kids show up. Only God can really nudge them to come to youth group. I needn't do anything more than try my hardest and be faithful and God will provide the kids. If He builds it, they will come.
So, then I decided to have a big old piece of that humble pie the next day when our guest sermon was by the Reverend Glenda Hope of Network Ministries in San Francisco. She came to talk to us about a shelter she runs for prostituted women. Her stories were heartbreaking and hopeful at the same time. There wasn't a dry eye in the entire church. Its hard to be down on yourself after that. Its hard to say woe is me when others are going through so much worse and haven't given up yet.
When you are right with God, when you have swallowed that humble pie, its not only easy to see the silver lining in the clouds; its hard to see the clouds through the silver lining. God is truly wonderful. I hope to never forget that... but I'm sure that I will. But its good to know that when I do, God will be waiting there with another slice.
Friday, September 22, 2006
OHFER
Its sometimes hard not to take life seriously. If my life was an American Idol results show, even Paula would be picking on me by now... "Oh, come on Will... we all know you've been eliminated! Give up already!" Such feelings and sentiments are clearly behind song lyrics like, "If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all." Apparently, my life has been one constant case of the blues... but hey, there's good music here.
I say this now, tongue firmly planted in cheek, because I can't seem to get away from Rejection Form hell. Its bad getting a rejection. Nobody likes it. But after four years of writing a novel, the last thing you want is a mimeographed form letter rejection that took someone 2 seconds to copy and seal in your self-addressed stamped envelope. It took longer for me to create the envelope than it took them to reject me and my novel. It almost makes one want to become a super villain with really bizarre demands - Publish My Novel or I Will Destroy Manhattan! Er, wait... that's hardly going to work, is it? Publish the novel of Mr. Will Robison, who is in no way affiliated with me, Dr. Nefarious, or I will destroy... well, you know.
The Ohfer's in my life keep stacking up. Its getting hard for me to see the sunlight over the huge pile of rejection I've received. Work hard and receive your just rewards... My ass! While Jesus is handing out all the juicy payola to His vineyard workers, He's going to take one look at me and say, "You missed a spot." I'm sure to be toiling out in the back 40 until long after the cow's have come home.
I say this all because I know that compared to many, my life is a dream. But I've developed this unhealthy desire to see myself published and rejection of this one goal seems like universal spite. I'm beginning to feel like Moses - I can see the promised land, but I will never enter. Still, it'd be nice to part a Red Sea or two along the way.
Well, maybe soon... maybe soon...
I say this now, tongue firmly planted in cheek, because I can't seem to get away from Rejection Form hell. Its bad getting a rejection. Nobody likes it. But after four years of writing a novel, the last thing you want is a mimeographed form letter rejection that took someone 2 seconds to copy and seal in your self-addressed stamped envelope. It took longer for me to create the envelope than it took them to reject me and my novel. It almost makes one want to become a super villain with really bizarre demands - Publish My Novel or I Will Destroy Manhattan! Er, wait... that's hardly going to work, is it? Publish the novel of Mr. Will Robison, who is in no way affiliated with me, Dr. Nefarious, or I will destroy... well, you know.
The Ohfer's in my life keep stacking up. Its getting hard for me to see the sunlight over the huge pile of rejection I've received. Work hard and receive your just rewards... My ass! While Jesus is handing out all the juicy payola to His vineyard workers, He's going to take one look at me and say, "You missed a spot." I'm sure to be toiling out in the back 40 until long after the cow's have come home.
I say this all because I know that compared to many, my life is a dream. But I've developed this unhealthy desire to see myself published and rejection of this one goal seems like universal spite. I'm beginning to feel like Moses - I can see the promised land, but I will never enter. Still, it'd be nice to part a Red Sea or two along the way.
Well, maybe soon... maybe soon...
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Excess Baggage
Once again, my sister underestimated her luggage requirements for a trip to Walt Disney World. To be fair, this time she had two little kids, one slightly older big kid who is her husband, and a loving and indulgent grandmother along. This may have had a minor effect on her luggage requirements as they cleaned out souvenir stand after souvenir stand to satisfy their urge to spoil the kids rotten. They're cute kids. Who can blame them? But, as I watched this bloated monstrosity of luggage wending its way from hotel room to baggage claim to airplane concourse, I couldn't help but wonder - who needs all this stuff?
My Mom and I got into an argument about this on the trip. At our first sit down restaurant, the waiter brought over some blue plastic dolphins for the kids to use for tracing with their crayons. The kids are 2 and 1 respectively, and so, to them, the dolphins were merely toys which they quickly grew tired of and tossed on the floor (en route to a major first day meltdown ;) After the kids had left and it was just my Mom and I remaining to take care of the bill and what not, we got into an argument about whether we should gather the blue dolphins for the kids. "They're not going to even remember them," I argued. "They'll remember them," My Mom countered. "They remember all of their toys." My sister confirmed this side of the argument later by pointing out that it took her son only about fifteen minutes to realize that she had donated some of his toys to Goodwill once - toys he hadn't played with in over six months. From the distance of perspective, this attitude towards toys seems warped - but I'm certain that I was the same way when I was a kid. "Rosebud" rings true to us all because there are things in our lives that we try to get back once they're missing. There are things we all cling to as external extensions of ourselves, that seem to diminish us when they are gone.
A few days earlier, as I devoured C.S. Lewis's brilliant "The Great Divorce", I was quite frankly a little annoyed with the great writer's view of the afterlife. To be very concise, the story is about a man who finds himself walking through a gray city and eventually joining a bus queue for a bus trip to Heaven. He encounters various people on this journey and each one displays some annoying characteristic - many different archetypes of various attitudes about life, faith, etc... - that will more than likely eventually keep them from embracing God's love and going to Heaven. I'll talk more about that in future segments. What annoyed me about this afterlife, initially, was the fact that there seemed to be almost no joy in the afterlife.
I want to believe in the sort of quintessential picture of Heaven - bright light, pearly gates, heavenly choir to sing me in through the gates, wings, harp, the whole nine yards. I'd like to think that when we die, we are embraced with beauty and love and all our cares and thoughts from the real world disappear.
In this afterlife, however, C.S. Lewis seems to suggest that while we can't take physical items with us to the great beyond, we are able to pack our bags with personality quirks, old arguments, lies, disbelief, and other assorted goodies. No shining white light, no pearly gates, no instant knowledge of God - you might even have to work a while to discover all the secrets of the universe.
Annoying, but thought provoking.
What would I pack in my bag? What sort of luggage would I take with me to heaven? What sort of excess, extraneous baggage that I just can't live without, would I try to drag along with me into Heaven? In terms of "things", what could I not live without?
I live in a society where things have equal importance with substance - where having an IPOD is almost on the same level as having clothes to wear or a job. In fact, many of us view our jobs as merely a means to get an IPOD. We don't do meaningful work, we simply do whatever we can so that we can afford the latest things. Those things change as we get older. We replace IPOD's for fancy weddings or new cars or a bigger house or expensive and lavish vacations. Things take spots in our hearts that should be reserved for the love of others, for the love of experience, for the love of God. Jesus pities the rich man's attempt to get into Heaven precisely because he has all those "things" in his heart - money, power, luxury - that he could never have enough room for Heaven. And what does he need it for? What comfort does it really get him? What happiness does it really bring?
I mention all this not to cast aspersions on others. We all have our own baggage and most of it is excess. C.S. Lewis's book merely pointed out to me that I've been hauling around a lot of stuff that I no longer need, and never really did. Its time I rediscovered what was truly important in my life and repacked my luggage for a different kind of journey.
My Mom and I got into an argument about this on the trip. At our first sit down restaurant, the waiter brought over some blue plastic dolphins for the kids to use for tracing with their crayons. The kids are 2 and 1 respectively, and so, to them, the dolphins were merely toys which they quickly grew tired of and tossed on the floor (en route to a major first day meltdown ;) After the kids had left and it was just my Mom and I remaining to take care of the bill and what not, we got into an argument about whether we should gather the blue dolphins for the kids. "They're not going to even remember them," I argued. "They'll remember them," My Mom countered. "They remember all of their toys." My sister confirmed this side of the argument later by pointing out that it took her son only about fifteen minutes to realize that she had donated some of his toys to Goodwill once - toys he hadn't played with in over six months. From the distance of perspective, this attitude towards toys seems warped - but I'm certain that I was the same way when I was a kid. "Rosebud" rings true to us all because there are things in our lives that we try to get back once they're missing. There are things we all cling to as external extensions of ourselves, that seem to diminish us when they are gone.
A few days earlier, as I devoured C.S. Lewis's brilliant "The Great Divorce", I was quite frankly a little annoyed with the great writer's view of the afterlife. To be very concise, the story is about a man who finds himself walking through a gray city and eventually joining a bus queue for a bus trip to Heaven. He encounters various people on this journey and each one displays some annoying characteristic - many different archetypes of various attitudes about life, faith, etc... - that will more than likely eventually keep them from embracing God's love and going to Heaven. I'll talk more about that in future segments. What annoyed me about this afterlife, initially, was the fact that there seemed to be almost no joy in the afterlife.
I want to believe in the sort of quintessential picture of Heaven - bright light, pearly gates, heavenly choir to sing me in through the gates, wings, harp, the whole nine yards. I'd like to think that when we die, we are embraced with beauty and love and all our cares and thoughts from the real world disappear.
In this afterlife, however, C.S. Lewis seems to suggest that while we can't take physical items with us to the great beyond, we are able to pack our bags with personality quirks, old arguments, lies, disbelief, and other assorted goodies. No shining white light, no pearly gates, no instant knowledge of God - you might even have to work a while to discover all the secrets of the universe.
Annoying, but thought provoking.
What would I pack in my bag? What sort of luggage would I take with me to heaven? What sort of excess, extraneous baggage that I just can't live without, would I try to drag along with me into Heaven? In terms of "things", what could I not live without?
I live in a society where things have equal importance with substance - where having an IPOD is almost on the same level as having clothes to wear or a job. In fact, many of us view our jobs as merely a means to get an IPOD. We don't do meaningful work, we simply do whatever we can so that we can afford the latest things. Those things change as we get older. We replace IPOD's for fancy weddings or new cars or a bigger house or expensive and lavish vacations. Things take spots in our hearts that should be reserved for the love of others, for the love of experience, for the love of God. Jesus pities the rich man's attempt to get into Heaven precisely because he has all those "things" in his heart - money, power, luxury - that he could never have enough room for Heaven. And what does he need it for? What comfort does it really get him? What happiness does it really bring?
I mention all this not to cast aspersions on others. We all have our own baggage and most of it is excess. C.S. Lewis's book merely pointed out to me that I've been hauling around a lot of stuff that I no longer need, and never really did. Its time I rediscovered what was truly important in my life and repacked my luggage for a different kind of journey.
Monday, September 18, 2006
And then I rested...
On the 11th Day, I returned from WDW completely refreshed and ready to go. But a lot can happen in 10 days when there is no work to occupy your mind. So in the following paragraph I've listed all the great Biblical revelations I made during my vacation, as well as all the great and wonderful ideas I had that will completely change the world, and I've even thrown in a few errant brilliant ideas that I had during the trip. So, here goes...
Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero.
For ten days, I woke up, took a shower, got dressed, and then spent the day dealing with heat and humidity (praising God every minute that I live in a temperate climate) as I wandered around WDW with my niece and nephew and other assorted kids (my sister and her husband chief amongst them ;) acting the part of tourist to utter completion. I swam, took naps, sat around, drank a lot, and ate. In terms of rest, it was completely indulgent and utterly decadent.
I know I should feel guilty, but I just can't bring my mind around to that feeling just yet. I'm sure it'll come later.
Anyway, I'm back. And everything is back on track. Tomorrow, I begin discussing C.S. Lewis.
See ya then!
P.S. Congrats to The Beach for his one year milestone. I started my blog not a week or so later, so I should be hitting my one year mark here as well fairly soon. Anyone got any idea how to figure out when you started your blog?
Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero.
For ten days, I woke up, took a shower, got dressed, and then spent the day dealing with heat and humidity (praising God every minute that I live in a temperate climate) as I wandered around WDW with my niece and nephew and other assorted kids (my sister and her husband chief amongst them ;) acting the part of tourist to utter completion. I swam, took naps, sat around, drank a lot, and ate. In terms of rest, it was completely indulgent and utterly decadent.
I know I should feel guilty, but I just can't bring my mind around to that feeling just yet. I'm sure it'll come later.
Anyway, I'm back. And everything is back on track. Tomorrow, I begin discussing C.S. Lewis.
See ya then!
P.S. Congrats to The Beach for his one year milestone. I started my blog not a week or so later, so I should be hitting my one year mark here as well fairly soon. Anyone got any idea how to figure out when you started your blog?
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Everytime we say goodbye...
I am taking a week off from the Blog to go on vacation. If my lack of mental acuity during the last week wasn't a tip off to me that I needed the time off, then the huge soulful mental bash I received yesterday as I devoured C.S. Lewis's The Great Divorce was a definite wake up call. I even had to admit in a meeting with my bosses yesterday that my brain was already in Orlando. Its time to let the world worry about itself for a week.
"WILL! YOU JUST READ C.S. LEWIS'S THE GREAT DIVORCE, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?"
"I'M GOING TO DISNEYWORLD!"
I'm going to sit on a beach with a pan-galactic gargleblaster and a good book and try not to think for an entire week. It'll be the closest I come to the Presidency ;)
Hope you all have a good time while I'm gone.
See you in a while.
"WILL! YOU JUST READ C.S. LEWIS'S THE GREAT DIVORCE, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW?"
"I'M GOING TO DISNEYWORLD!"
I'm going to sit on a beach with a pan-galactic gargleblaster and a good book and try not to think for an entire week. It'll be the closest I come to the Presidency ;)
Hope you all have a good time while I'm gone.
See you in a while.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Living In The Moment, Living Outside The Moment
There are moments in writing of utter sheer joy. Moments of intense culmination that you've been preparing for years, that when you finally sit down at your computer that night, you know you are finally going to see on the written page. But there are other moments of deep and intense frustration - moments where you are literally pounding your head against the wall because you just can't get that correct tone or the action doesn't match the message you are trying to convey. Highs and lows and sometimes at the same moment, joy and frustration. To write is to embrace the insanity of life and then let it flow away in words.
I had a moment of intense revelation at church this morning during communion. It was one of those church moments when you can feel the holy spirit encircling you and wrapping you up in its warm embrace. I found myself outside of church - living outside the moment - looking around at all the people in the pews and wondering what was going through their heads and how God was able to hear all their thoughts and feel all their feelings and heal all their pains. It felt like the holy spirit was whirring around the entire sanctuary and only I could see it - even though it was invisible. And it reminded me so much of the deep joy I have in writing.
When you read a story for the first time, if the writer is good, you are caught up in the moment of a scene - of the singularity of action and purpose of the characters. But, if the writer is REALLY good, you are both in the moment and outside the moment at the same time - caught up in the moment of the scene, but also processing the importance of that scene in the larger context of the story so far. You know that Bond is dueling with the bad guy and its a really intense moment, but its made more intense because you know that the bad guy killed his best friend. You are seeing the present, but also the past - the present with context.
But, when you are the REALLY REALLY good writer, you are layering the story with a third layer of context - the story that is yet to come. In one scene, you not only have the action that is occuring, but the context of that action from the past, AND you are layering the context for the scenes that are yet to come. Not only is Bond fighting the bad guy that killed his best friend, but he is about to discover that the bad guy also kidnapped his wife. You, as the writer, know this. You are caught up in the moment of the telling of the story - living IN the moment. But, you are also OUTSIDE the moment - thinking about all that has gone before and all that is yet to come. Each and every scene has to fit in this context. Each and every action from each and every character fits into this story. Seemingly random events in Chapter Three might have huge ramifications in Chapter 120. And seemingly normal dialogue in Chapter 98 wittily refers back to an event in Chapter 7. Each moment is the present and unique, but it also has elements of the past and present wrapped up in it.
And then I finally understood the Trinity. In this great story of God's love for us all, Jesus is the center of the action. He is In the moment. All that has come before and all that will come after is Outside the moment. Moses, Paul, you and I, we're all part of the story - but the part that refers back to the moment. In this respect, Jesus can be In the moment and Outside the moment at the same time. He can be in Heaven and on Earth. He can be living and He can be dying. He is at the beginning and He is at the ending. He is the Alpha and the Omega and all points in between. The story is already written, but the details might change as we go along. Jesus is our context.
We are forced to live in the moment. We can see from where we've come, but we haven't a clue what comes next. Though the temptation is there to skip to the end of the story and see what happens to us, none of us have yet developed that particular ability. We are the characters in this story. We are forced to react only to things that have already occurred and to things we can try to see coming. But we never know when the story will end, or what might happen next in the chapter.
I had a moment of intense revelation at church this morning during communion. It was one of those church moments when you can feel the holy spirit encircling you and wrapping you up in its warm embrace. I found myself outside of church - living outside the moment - looking around at all the people in the pews and wondering what was going through their heads and how God was able to hear all their thoughts and feel all their feelings and heal all their pains. It felt like the holy spirit was whirring around the entire sanctuary and only I could see it - even though it was invisible. And it reminded me so much of the deep joy I have in writing.
When you read a story for the first time, if the writer is good, you are caught up in the moment of a scene - of the singularity of action and purpose of the characters. But, if the writer is REALLY good, you are both in the moment and outside the moment at the same time - caught up in the moment of the scene, but also processing the importance of that scene in the larger context of the story so far. You know that Bond is dueling with the bad guy and its a really intense moment, but its made more intense because you know that the bad guy killed his best friend. You are seeing the present, but also the past - the present with context.
But, when you are the REALLY REALLY good writer, you are layering the story with a third layer of context - the story that is yet to come. In one scene, you not only have the action that is occuring, but the context of that action from the past, AND you are layering the context for the scenes that are yet to come. Not only is Bond fighting the bad guy that killed his best friend, but he is about to discover that the bad guy also kidnapped his wife. You, as the writer, know this. You are caught up in the moment of the telling of the story - living IN the moment. But, you are also OUTSIDE the moment - thinking about all that has gone before and all that is yet to come. Each and every scene has to fit in this context. Each and every action from each and every character fits into this story. Seemingly random events in Chapter Three might have huge ramifications in Chapter 120. And seemingly normal dialogue in Chapter 98 wittily refers back to an event in Chapter 7. Each moment is the present and unique, but it also has elements of the past and present wrapped up in it.
And then I finally understood the Trinity. In this great story of God's love for us all, Jesus is the center of the action. He is In the moment. All that has come before and all that will come after is Outside the moment. Moses, Paul, you and I, we're all part of the story - but the part that refers back to the moment. In this respect, Jesus can be In the moment and Outside the moment at the same time. He can be in Heaven and on Earth. He can be living and He can be dying. He is at the beginning and He is at the ending. He is the Alpha and the Omega and all points in between. The story is already written, but the details might change as we go along. Jesus is our context.
We are forced to live in the moment. We can see from where we've come, but we haven't a clue what comes next. Though the temptation is there to skip to the end of the story and see what happens to us, none of us have yet developed that particular ability. We are the characters in this story. We are forced to react only to things that have already occurred and to things we can try to see coming. But we never know when the story will end, or what might happen next in the chapter.
Friday, September 01, 2006
Hobbled
For the last month or so, I've been walking every day in preparation for my trip to Walt Disney World next week. I've been feeling good about it and nice and strong. Everything was looking just great for my trip - with everything in place and a nice 10 days grace period to quietly slip into my vacation. And then...
Last weekend I started off my Youth Group for the year by spending all day Saturday running around buying the various ingredients for the Biblical Ice Cream Social. Saturday night, after I had gathered all the goods, I ran my first Youth Group meeting of the year - which also served as an opportunity to do some preparation for the Social the next day. Still not nearly finished, on Sunday morning, I went directly to church and worked to finish all the details. For the first hour and a half, I was entirely by myself. Up until about half an hour before the Social, I had one helper, then two until five minutes before the Social. Finally, I had a small but decent crew to run the Ice Cream Social and we had twice as many people attend this year as last year. We ran around and got everyone their ice cream. And then, afterwards, cleaned up the mess. By 2:00pm, I returned home and my legs were killing me. I'd been on my feet for nearly 36 hours straight by that point.
What I didn't realize until Monday morning was that I had also somehow tweaked my knee. As I got out of bed and realized that I could barely put any pressure on it, I frowned with annoyance and hobbled into the shower for a day's work. For most of the week, I've been hobbling along trying to get my leg back in shape. All of my previous walking and preparation for Walt Disney World will have been for naught if one little knee injury keeps me from walking anyway.
On Tuesday, however, with my leg a tiny bit better, I was able to relax again and start thinking about DisneyWorld and all the wonderful things that were going to happen there. Then, around noon, my sister called and asked me if I had ten minutes to talk.
"Sure," I said, "What's going on?"
"Dave's not going to Disney World."
Dave is my brother. We've been brothers all of our lives. To say that this didn't shock me would be to make it sound like this was the sort of thing my brother does all the time - it isn't... but the threat has been constantly there. While I may not have been shocked, I was certainly disappointed. My brother's rift with the family was finally reaching a crisis point. There was no putting off the inevitable this time. He'd finally thrown down the gauntlet and demanded a response.
The problem was, I didn't have any idea what that response might be. I've known for a long time that my brother has issues, but anyone who's ever met my brother knows that. The thing is, however, is that everyone has their own theory as to what those issues might be. A team of psychiatrists working round the clock for the next ten years might never find out. Which isn't to say that he's crazy. Neurotic... sure. But again, I don't want to make my brother sound 100% at fault.
I prayed for guidance. I asked the Lord for help. Then I called my brother. The conversation went pretty much as I expected with my brother levelling accusations left and right about this and that - none of which even came close to whatever was really eating at him. I tried to sift through it all and get to the heart of the matter, but I wasn't getting anywhere. In the midst of a situation like that, there's not a point where you can say, "Hold on... I'm not doing this correctly. Wait a second while I pray to God and consult Him as to what I should say next." Compounding the problem, of course, is the fact that he's my brother. There is a lot of human emotional baggage tied to that. Like Andy trying to remain calm with his parents. Its easy for us to tell him what he should or shouldn't do, but his emotions and his feelings get in the way. I tried to remain calm with my brother. I tried not to get sucked in to his arguments and his accusations, but... well... I just couldn't help it. I know I sinned. I know I failed my brother. But I just wasn't able to do anything to help the situation. The cut I'd been trying to heal turned into a rift. My brother had a few choice words for me and then hung up.
In life, there is no such thing as a straight line. Things are constantly falling into our paths to make us steer down different paths. We go places we never expected and deal with situations that were not of our choosing. Often times the path is hard enough just getting around these obstacles. But then, to make matters worse, we get hobbled along the way. Our legs break down and we're forced to limp along, slower and with much pain. Or, in our haste and blindness, we make wrong turns and go down wrong paths. When we reach deadends it can seem like the end of all things. But, we always have the option of turning around and going back the way we came.
My trip to Disney World is still on - currently minus one person. I would not have done this without much prayer. However, I'm still wondering if there is something more that I could do - something I haven't tried yet. I know that I don't want a rift between my brother and I, but I feel as if I am fighting a losing battle - trying to hold on to something that doesn't want to be contained. Ultimately, I have to let my brother go, if he wants to go. I can't keep him in the family against his will. I just hope he knows what it is he really wants.
Time heals all wounds and my leg is about 90% of normal right now - so I should be able to walk just fine when I get to Disney World. But the problem with my brother is a wound that cuts deep. Not only will it not heal by next week, it may grow worse and infected while I am trying to enjoy Disney World. I can only hope for a peaceful solution to all this, but I think that this is clearly a case where the solution is out of my hands. Either God is going to heal my brother and return him to the family, or He is going to give me the words to do it. But, on my own, there is nothing more that I can do.
Last weekend I started off my Youth Group for the year by spending all day Saturday running around buying the various ingredients for the Biblical Ice Cream Social. Saturday night, after I had gathered all the goods, I ran my first Youth Group meeting of the year - which also served as an opportunity to do some preparation for the Social the next day. Still not nearly finished, on Sunday morning, I went directly to church and worked to finish all the details. For the first hour and a half, I was entirely by myself. Up until about half an hour before the Social, I had one helper, then two until five minutes before the Social. Finally, I had a small but decent crew to run the Ice Cream Social and we had twice as many people attend this year as last year. We ran around and got everyone their ice cream. And then, afterwards, cleaned up the mess. By 2:00pm, I returned home and my legs were killing me. I'd been on my feet for nearly 36 hours straight by that point.
What I didn't realize until Monday morning was that I had also somehow tweaked my knee. As I got out of bed and realized that I could barely put any pressure on it, I frowned with annoyance and hobbled into the shower for a day's work. For most of the week, I've been hobbling along trying to get my leg back in shape. All of my previous walking and preparation for Walt Disney World will have been for naught if one little knee injury keeps me from walking anyway.
On Tuesday, however, with my leg a tiny bit better, I was able to relax again and start thinking about DisneyWorld and all the wonderful things that were going to happen there. Then, around noon, my sister called and asked me if I had ten minutes to talk.
"Sure," I said, "What's going on?"
"Dave's not going to Disney World."
Dave is my brother. We've been brothers all of our lives. To say that this didn't shock me would be to make it sound like this was the sort of thing my brother does all the time - it isn't... but the threat has been constantly there. While I may not have been shocked, I was certainly disappointed. My brother's rift with the family was finally reaching a crisis point. There was no putting off the inevitable this time. He'd finally thrown down the gauntlet and demanded a response.
The problem was, I didn't have any idea what that response might be. I've known for a long time that my brother has issues, but anyone who's ever met my brother knows that. The thing is, however, is that everyone has their own theory as to what those issues might be. A team of psychiatrists working round the clock for the next ten years might never find out. Which isn't to say that he's crazy. Neurotic... sure. But again, I don't want to make my brother sound 100% at fault.
I prayed for guidance. I asked the Lord for help. Then I called my brother. The conversation went pretty much as I expected with my brother levelling accusations left and right about this and that - none of which even came close to whatever was really eating at him. I tried to sift through it all and get to the heart of the matter, but I wasn't getting anywhere. In the midst of a situation like that, there's not a point where you can say, "Hold on... I'm not doing this correctly. Wait a second while I pray to God and consult Him as to what I should say next." Compounding the problem, of course, is the fact that he's my brother. There is a lot of human emotional baggage tied to that. Like Andy trying to remain calm with his parents. Its easy for us to tell him what he should or shouldn't do, but his emotions and his feelings get in the way. I tried to remain calm with my brother. I tried not to get sucked in to his arguments and his accusations, but... well... I just couldn't help it. I know I sinned. I know I failed my brother. But I just wasn't able to do anything to help the situation. The cut I'd been trying to heal turned into a rift. My brother had a few choice words for me and then hung up.
In life, there is no such thing as a straight line. Things are constantly falling into our paths to make us steer down different paths. We go places we never expected and deal with situations that were not of our choosing. Often times the path is hard enough just getting around these obstacles. But then, to make matters worse, we get hobbled along the way. Our legs break down and we're forced to limp along, slower and with much pain. Or, in our haste and blindness, we make wrong turns and go down wrong paths. When we reach deadends it can seem like the end of all things. But, we always have the option of turning around and going back the way we came.
My trip to Disney World is still on - currently minus one person. I would not have done this without much prayer. However, I'm still wondering if there is something more that I could do - something I haven't tried yet. I know that I don't want a rift between my brother and I, but I feel as if I am fighting a losing battle - trying to hold on to something that doesn't want to be contained. Ultimately, I have to let my brother go, if he wants to go. I can't keep him in the family against his will. I just hope he knows what it is he really wants.
Time heals all wounds and my leg is about 90% of normal right now - so I should be able to walk just fine when I get to Disney World. But the problem with my brother is a wound that cuts deep. Not only will it not heal by next week, it may grow worse and infected while I am trying to enjoy Disney World. I can only hope for a peaceful solution to all this, but I think that this is clearly a case where the solution is out of my hands. Either God is going to heal my brother and return him to the family, or He is going to give me the words to do it. But, on my own, there is nothing more that I can do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)