Mischief

You remember the line from Risky Business... "Sometimes you just have to say what the heck." Or something along those lines... ;) The last two days I've been feeling the spirit of mischief sweeping over me and telling me to do things and say things that I've been keeping bottled up for a while. This is dangerous. These are the sorts of paths that once you start down them, you don't know where they'll take you. Some might take you in good directions, some in bad. I read on Facebook today that an old friend, David Johnson, was going "All In" in pursuit of his career. That's the sort of feeling this is - that reckless kind where you take a flyer on your life and let the chips fall where they may.

This morning I was reading of people standing in the middle of the street protesting the California Supreme Court's ruling on Prop. 8 and they were being arrested. And I suddenly thought, "Why am I not being arrested?" Nevermind the fact that I'm not that overwrought with emotion on either side of this issue, the feeling was, "Why can't I get that passionate about something that I would be arrested for it?" Why am I not committing acts of social justice? Reckless thoughts... thoughts that interfere with my normal life.

I'm constantly amazed at the faith shown by Ariel Vanderhorst over at Bittersweet Life. Straight out of compton (or Seminary, whichever...) he started up a new Church Plant in Downtown K.C.. And after all this time, its roots are finally beginning to find solid soil. Granted, this is God's doing, but to have the faith to take up such a challenge with a family and kids, is simply wonderful.

I'm also profoundly jealous of the wisdom of Randall Sherman over at Hinterland. Though we might not always agree in life, I can never fault his logic nor his wisdom. I admire the fact that he keeps reciting his beliefs in a straightforward and logical way that makes my responses sound foolish or shrilly emotional. I find myself agreeing with him even when I don't want to and I strongly suspect that he's right more often than I am. I remember in boot camp when I first arrived and the recruits in the final week looked at us and universally offered us encouragement, "You can do it! If I can make it, you can!" When I finally reached the final week of boot camp, I found myself offering the same advice to the new recruits. I see the esteemed Mr. Sherman as my final week boot camp advice. I may not understand it yet, or agree with it, but I know that in a little while, I'll be parroting it back to others.

Maybe these feelings shall pass. Maybe I'll quickly return to a point where I am in control of my life and continue to proceed cautiously. But in recent weeks I've thrown in my hat for a trip to Kenya that I can not afford and have agreed to preach a sermon without any concept of what I'm going to say. Today I dropped a reality bomb on my Director and then I requested a new friendship with an old flame on Facebook. None of these things make any sort of logical sense. Everyone of them is rocking my boat and sending me down uncharted paths.

And I don't care... I'm tired of being in control. I'm ready to take this life for a spin and see where I end up. Fear is still there, but for now, mischief is in control and I've no idea where its taking me. All I know is that if I can have the faith of Ariel and the wisdom of Randall, I should be okay. If not, there's always the shrill and the emotional. They've worked so well for me before!