BLORK!

I feel bloated. The kind of bloated that makes you sit around doing nothing. I don't want to write. I don't want to be creative. I don't want to work. I don't want to sing. I don't want to eat. I don't want to exercise. I don't want to read. I don't want to be entertained. I just want to sit here and exist.

Its given rise to a new theory of how Dungeons and Dragons actually rules the universe. You see, in Dungeons and Dragons you create characters and send them off with the idea that they will battle the evil dragons of this world. And they try, with mixed success and believe themselves to be quite good actually until something bigger and nastier comes along. During their fantastic quests they learn things and gain experience, collect rewards for their daring, and create a reputation as either a hero of some renown or a loser thug thief of some cunning and a nasty temper. This pretty much describes the real world. D & D was Second Life thirty years before Second Life was invented.

But... (and this is where the new theory comes in)... what do these characters do when they're not running around doing feats of derring-do, when their creator is not actively using them to rid the world of evil? I imagine they hang out with their buds, think about that castle they've been meaning to buy and fix up, maybe wench a little and dream of one day settling down and having a brood, watch the jousting tournaments with their friends and bet on the outcome of the field of 64 brave knights (65 if you count the ritual slaughter to decide who will make the final spot in the jousting tournament). Or perhaps they spend their time in ritual replenishment, fasting, prayer, and arguing over what sort of golden gild leaf they should use on the altar of their deity. Whatever the outcome, I imagine life between adventures is probably pretty tedious and an incredible letdown after fighting dragons.

Live life on the edge the entire time? Nobody can play that much D & D. And besides, without any sleep even the best gamers quickly lose focus. Not to mention the fact that you can quickly scrape off the paint of your best 20 sided dice through overuse - and someday you're going to need that sucker nice and fresh for when you take on the evil prince and his dominions trying to conquer the world.

So, you see, perhaps its a good thing to let your life lie fallow every once in a while, to rest up your weary self, sharpen your sword, wipe the blood off your shield, and reshoe your horse. Bigger and harder battles are yet to come.

When you put down the dice and the character sheet for a while, remember, you're doing your creations a favor. Just as our creator does for us. Someday soon, we will be asked to prepare for battle - and then I hope you have your dice in hand and a good supply of root beer and pizza.

Stock up, the battle is coming!