The Nicholas Sparks Formula... in reverse...

Everyone knows the Nicholas Sparks formula. For an author that has written such modern love stories as The Notebook, Message in a Bottle, and Nights in Rodanthe, the formula is pervasive and yet never seems to limit the enjoyment of the story. Boy meets Girl. Boy and Girl fall in love. Tragedy befalls Boy (or Girl). Love endures.

Now normally I'm not one who thinks of formulas as being anything other than author-made shapings of the universe to serve a creative need. Nicholas Sparks writes to his formula because, quite frankly, it makes him gazillions of dollars. I wish I had thought of this formula years ago. However, in my case, I have quite a different formula in mind - one that actually happens... in real life... to me... every single time.

I call it my curse. It goes something like this. Boy meets girl (or is set up on a blind date... either way). Boy and girl agree to go out. Boy shows up and... tragedy befalls... always... on first date. It's actually comical in some ways.

So, after many years of avoiding this curse, I finally met someone that I thought it would be fun to hang out with. Now came the tricky part. I had to figure out a way to hang out together without bringing the curse. I very carefully phrased the invitation as a friendly affair - two chums kicking back for a nice lunch and a movie. Totally casual. Everything cool. Best buds. Nothing more, oh fates... nothing more.

Well, to make a long story short, Fate wasn't fooled. On Saturday, I drove over to pick up my "Not-A-Date!" for our little friendly adventure. She was waiting for me out in front of her apartment looking rather beautiful in a white sweater and pants. I pulled up in front and unlocked the door... and in her eagerness to get started on our not-date, she reached down and yanked open the door so fast that it smacked her right in the face.

I was horrified. Was she okay? She climbed into the car and sat down and checked herself out - a small gash on her face, a tiny amount of blood, and a lot of embarrasment, but other than that, she was fine. It was only then that I realized that the curse had struck again. No matter how much I was trying to pretend that this wasn't a full on date, no matter how much I was trying to keep hidden the fact that I liked her potentially as more than just a friend, Fate had seen right through my obfuscating shenanigans and walloped my date with the curse anyway.

Needless to say, I laughed. It was a mixture of relief that she was okay and a realization that fate was confirming that this was, in fact, a date. Besides which, if I was going to have the curse hit, the first ten seconds of a date are infinitely preferable to the last ten seconds.

We had a great lunch at a Japanese restaurant. Then we went to see "Hugo" at a local movie theater. Afterward, I drove her to the mall where she needed to get her sunglasses repaired and then I took her home. No other calamity befell our adventures for the day - in my book that almost counts as a perfect first date.

Now, next time, I will lock the car door, get out of my car, and come around and open the door for her. Of course, fate is tricky. Who knows what else might happen? Stay tuned...