My Play Station Experiment

Over the weekend I decided to upgrade my 1970's tech and buy a relatively new game system - the Play Station 2 (Hey, I said relatively new... compared to an Atari). I was looking to score some cheap game playing action and add a new wrinkle to my entertainment experiences. But truth be told, I was after something a little deeper - escape. In all areas, my experiment failed miserably.

Since Kenya, I've been floundering. There hasn't been a natural replacement for my interests or enterprises. My second movie Dane failed. And my novel is coming slowly. I've been floating around without a direction looking for the next big thing to latch on to. And short of that, I've been looking to distract myself from this lack of direction. Hence, the Play Station experiment.

(Ironically, I went through the same thing at almost exactly this same time last year. It was resolved when I suddenly had a vision of walking in Kenya and I realized that I would be going there. My desire for a Play Station dissolved quickly after that.)

The problem with the Play Station 2 isn't that it isn't distracting - it excels at that - but that it brings into focus for me that which is most causing my floundering spirit. It isn't real. It's a facsimile of real. It's a fun facsimile of real. But ultimately, it is someone else's idea of a real world. Despite the game designers desire to give the players freedom to roam and do things, the players in the game lack any real free will. As a result, there are no consequences - only frustrations at failing a mission and having to do it over again. It is the simulation of life without the stimulation of life. It is the equivalent of a never emptying glass of water - no matter how much you drink you can't get to the bottom and you never are satisfied.

Kenya was real. In focus and sharp. In depth. In black and white and color. It was everything that a photo or a movie or a book or a game is not.

I was thinking about that and wondering if it was the games I had selected that was causing this feeling to occur. But I realized that no matter what entertainment source I chose, it was always going to be a simulation of real life.

I have outgrown simulated adventures. I have outgrown my need for a Play Station. I want to go on real adventures now, with real consequences, and real rewards. I want to affect change. I want to interact with real people in real time. I want to see the real world and be a real part of it.

Anyway... those are my words. There will be more to come.