2012 will be a magnum opus of destruction! It is the visceral filmed version of that game we all played as a kid - build something and then destroy it. Why? Because there is a guilty pleasure that strikes at the core of our being to watch stuff get destroyed, blowed up, and otherwise mangled. SimCity creators knew this - they added disasters that you could call down upon the unsuspecting sims. Irwin Allen knew this back in the 70's with Earthquake, The Poseidon Adventure, and The Towering Inferno. Hollywood briefly rediscovered it in the 90's with ID4, Twister, and, current champion and claimant to the title of greatest movie ever made, Volcano (This summer, the Coast is Toast! - that's all you needed to know!)
When I was a kid, one of my most favorite story pitches was an idea that my friend Eric and I played around with. Here's the gist: After a series of severe and freak natural disasters, Scientists discover that the world is coming to an end. First, all the monsters from Monster Island get loose. This causes a natural strain on society and so, World War Three breaks out. And then, just when things can't possibly get any worse, Armageddon happens and there's a final battle between Heaven and Hell, USSR and USA, Monsters and People while the entire earth convulses and dies. At the very end, our hero Scientist admits his love for the beautiful female Scientist; they kiss, and then they're swallowed by lava.
For a third grader, this was the greatest possible story ever told. No other disaster story could ever match it. You had total carnage and total chaos mixed with a G rated love story. Pure brilliance, never to be topped.
Roland Emmerich must have had similar ideas. He has let loose his Epic 3rd Grade self and paid a whole bunch of CGI artists to imagine his own version of the end of the world.
Warning: Do Not Confuse This With Shakespeare... though you might be tempted because of how cool it is. If you do, you will be disappointed.
In short, 2012 is the New Benchmark for Total Film Destruction and after watching a giant tsunami wave crest the Himilayas, I'm not sure it'll be beaten anytime soon. Then again, there's always my own third grade dream. But until that becomes filmed reality, we'll have to settle for 2012.
Buy lots of popcorn and prepare to laugh your head off in sheer destructive glee!
2 comments:
How can you forget that magnum opus, "Deep Impact"? I agree, though, "Volcano" wins it outright for the 90's. What about "Day After Tomorrow"? "Waterworld"? "The Postman"? This film will be the "ultimate" in SimCity on film...
Deep Impact was just bad. Same as Dante's Peak. They were ridiculous without being fun. Day After Tomorrow is my current fave - but its only really fun when the weather turns nasty and you need to be reminded that we're all going to die from Global Warming ;) Waterworld was... wow... it was tragically horrible. The Postman with a three hour running time was 2 1/2 hours too long - though it did have Tom Petty and I did have email conversations with its author once about Star Wars Episode 1. He wrote a much better, though equally ridiculous story, set 50 years in our future that dealt with a runaway man-made black hole that was sinking into the Earth's core.
Nope, Volcano tops them all. That's why South Park made such a great parody of it (Stop, Drop and Roll!) You can't beat diverting rampaging lava with a turned over bus. Gang members and cops teaming up to save Beverly Hills... yeah, good stuff! And as a side effect, every time Tommy Lee Jones would try to act seriously on the Political Stage, I could just imagine him saving us all from the terrible La Brea Volcano! Easily the best comedy of the 1990's! ;)
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