An Ordinary Love - Chapter Five

Its funny the way we first begin to notice the passage of childhood. Its never obvious to us the day we walk out of the house. Its always something abstract, something normal, but not normal for us. Our first paycheck, perhaps, or the first time we rent a car or get a hotel room on our own. For me, it came in the Navy, in the third week of boot camp.

I'd always considered myself independent and emancipated from my parents. I hadn't really missed my family the first three weeks of boot camp. There was just too many other things to worry about - saluting correctly, our first inspection, our first physical fitness test, our laughable swimming test. I probably didn't even have time to realize how much I was changing, or had already changed. My hair was gone, sure, but it was growing back. My sense of humor was sincerely dulled, but it was just waiting for a chance to get out and express itself. Many of the same needs and desires I'd had before I'd joined the Navy were still there, so I didn't feel any different. But like a forgotten toy, when we put our childish ways behind us, we tend to forget that they were even there. We just become adults. And we don't notice the transition until something jars us back to where we used to be.

I received a letter from my Mom. I could tell she was having a hard time writing the letter. It was heart felt and aching in its text. She was trying to capture a feeling in words, and while the words didn't make sense, the feeling came through loud and clear. She missed me and she wasn't dealing very well with my departure from her side. In fact, she ended the letter by hinting that the pain was too much to bear and that she'd have a hard time going on living.

My Mom had spent many years in mental hospitals dealing with depression. By the time I was in the Navy, I'd grown used to her moods and such threats. Needless to say, I wasn't shocked. But I was concerned. I was in boot camp and I had no way of just calling her and finding out if she was okay. Suddenly the huge gulf between me and my home opened up before me and I saw how far I'd come in just three short weeks.

I went to the CPO Hill and showed him the letter and he let me make a phone call. It took me a few times to get through to someone - my Dad and he said that he hadn't discovered any problems at all. When I finally got my Mom on the phone, she didn't even remember writing the letter. I didn't remind her of it. To this day, I don't think she ever remembers the letter, but I keep it all the same.

Ironically, two days later, a kid from the unit next to ours jumped to his death from the third story of the Education building. His suicide rocked our brother unit hard. But for us, being young and invincible, the mandatory stand down time was used to relax, take a breathe, and get ready for more boot camp.

The following week, I was given a new job as assistant education petty officer because I'd scored second highest on the first exam (basic Navy exams like how to dog a door, and what Condition Zebra means). My job as runner up education PO was to help teach the unit during test cramming. As it turned out, two days later, the Education PO was busted and held back a week and I was promoted to full time Education PO. After four weeks, I shrugged it off. What could happen?

The next day, our education continued with Fire Fighting training. As Education PO it was my job to lead the unit during educational excercises. That meant that when it came time to fight the fire, I went it first. Now, if you've never had fire fighting training, I need to explain to you that we're not talking about a little dinky kitchen fire. No sirree Bob, this hear was a Class A jet fuel fire. They had a special facility set up in a giant warehouse and in the middle of this warehouse was basically a gas main that shot flames fifty feet into the air. If you were to stand next to the flame when it went off, you would probably catch fire yourself - no matter what sort of flame retardent suit you wore. As Education PO my job was to lead the first hose into the room, ease in close to the fire, and direct the nozzle at the base of the flame. The second team's job was to move in behind us with a giant sprinkler hose and spray us down so that we remained relatively cool. We had bulky fire retardent fire suits. It was already a blistering hot day. We were carrying a heavy fire hose under high pressure, and we were fighting flames that could melt us if we were unprotected.

No problem.

After all, I was an adult now.